andi, 21, she/her, gemini, someone harass me to be more active pls <3 (more info below)
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hiii :) my last intro post sucked and i haven’t been back in awhile so i thought i’d tell people im still alive <3
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(THE BASICS)
american :/
unlabeled
probably reading
music lover 🎤
addicted to caffeine (it’s the only thing getting me through the day)
spends wayyyyy too much time online
i’m not super active right now but i try and come back when i can to stay in the loop (i also miss my people <3)
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(CURRENT OBSESSIONS)
criminal minds, reylo, latte making,(im such a barista i swear)
(HOBBIES)
reading, video games, latte making, listening to music, coloring, bracelet making, and uhhhhh, other things probably? i’ll update if i start doing other things lol
(MUSIC)
hozier, ashe, ricky montgomery, the beaches, maggie rogers, flowerovlove, gracie abrams, olivia rodrigo, dua lipa, taylor swift, billie ellish, maneskin, daisy grenade, chappell roan.
(TV SHOWS/MOVIES)
marvel/mcu, star wars, pitch perfect, mamma mia, a knights tale, tangled, frozen, friends, new girl, west wing, lockwood & co, criminal minds, percy jackson, gilmore girls, ted lasso, arrow, and more probably lol.
(BOOKS)
percy jackson & the olympians, the lunar chronicles, legendborn by tracy deonn, vicious by v. e. schwab, check & mate by ali hazelwood, the undertaking of hart and mercy by megan bannen, sorcery of thorns by margeret rogerson, simon vs the homosapians agenda by becky albertalli, geekerella by ashley poston, grim by stephanie phillips (comic) the adventure zone by the mcelroy brothers (graphic novel)
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i’m not sure what else i should add, if i forget anything i’ll probably update this post cause i hate redoing this stuff all over again. thank you for reading and everything, bye <333
imagine you have three dads. one is your biological father. one is your uncle. one is a 500 year old spirit that resides in your head whom you call Nightmare. now guess which one's the least bad
I love that the point of Robby’s interaction with Mohan is to point out his own internalized fears. He can’t let himself have a panic attack so Mohan can’t have one either. He doesn’t get forgiveness, he doesn’t get relief, and he’s angry, and that anger turns on her. He’s tumbling down the mental health slope and there is no room for empathy anymore.
And the whole point of it is brought up again by Al-Hashimi telling him he would benefit him to have some more empathy, but he just refuses again and again cause he can’t have what happened at Pittfest happen again. He can’t break down. He’s been drowning since Adamson died and it’s only gotten worse. The man is going on a solo motorcycle trip to Alberta, after a 12 hour hospital shift, nearing the anniversary of a tragic shooting, he’s not in a good space and refusing to admit to it out of pride and self hatred.
samira calling robby a dick does not make up for any of the things he said to her especially since he followed it up with “i need you to stop feeling sorry for yourself” SAYS THE BITCH WHOSE WHOLE PERSONALITY IS FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF
i'm probably gonna say very little about fandom discourse around this ep because spring break starts next week and i'm running out of sanity but actually. i love everyone on the pitt being flawed and fucked up and nasty sometimes. i love robby being a hypocrite and repulsed by samira's anxiety because he's repulsed by his own. i love that, alternatively, samira is repulsed by her mother's loneliness because she's repulsed by her own, too. i love santos blaming langdon for her ostracization at the ED and her unwillingness to see that, separate of the langdon issue (however separate you can make it), if you go around being an asshole to your peers all the time, some people are just not going to fucking like you. i love that its garcia specifically who checks santos for the lack of decorum she's displaying in front of their patients in this ep because garcia herself could arguably stand to have a bit more decorum when talking about patients and she's also treating santos like a dogggg right now. i love that mel is overstepping boundaries with becca and coddling her in a way that doesnt allow becca the space she deserves to be an autonomous adult with autism who should be respected on her own terms because mel's also struggling with what it means to be an autonomous adult with autism who should be respected on her own terms. i think there's a difference between a show depicting characters behaving badly and cosigning their bad behavior. i think a good character and a good person are separate categories. i love that this is a show that isn't so obsessed with likability that it keeps its characters from behaving badly.
frankly, i hope these characters keep fucking up, and i hope they keep getting checked by their fellow fuck ups, because that's life, brother. there is no divine priestly class of sinless people who exist to tell the "bad" people off for their missteps. and i hope that, as the show progresses, we see robby, santos, mohan, langdon etc make more mistakes and better mistakes. and i love that this show, for all its flaws, is (imo) still holding true to its premise that people are not wholly defined by their best moments or their worst. no matter how uncomfortable it is to sit with that nuance or how tense that makes an episode of television lol.
hey so i saw that lou ferrigno jr from 9-1-1 is gonna be on the pitt tonight.
now i’ve only watched the first two seasons of 9-1-1 and i got bored and stopped watching, but from what i saw of him in the flashbacks he wasn’t a terrible actor.
so why is everyone so upset about it? like he wouldn’t be my first casting choice for a new character but still, i don’t really get the hate if someone wants to tell me why we hate this man.
I think everyone should maybe chill out about the ICE storyline and let the episode actually come out first before judging whether or not they handled it well.
"They're giving media trained responses and they sound scripted" well yes ! They can't spoil the episode but also this is a very sensitive topic. From what Isa Briones said, it's not gonna be very pleasant and most of us won't be happy with what actually happens in the episode but that's the reality of what people have been going and living through every day.
For the most part, The Pitt has done a great job of handling it's heavier storylines and I hope that's the case with this one too. Regardless of any of that though, it's FUCK ICE.
all the bright places #mohabbotmonday
thanks to @anextrapart for the inspo! trigger warning: suicidal ideation
The most fun aspect of his self-loathing is that it’s factually correct.
He served in the military. He signed up for ROTC right there in the cafeteria of his high school, valedictorian of a class of sixty-two and desperate to get out. He believed the promises and the patina of patriotic bullshit, swallowing it willingly. And it was easy, for the next eight years, to keep doing that.
By the time he owed the American military close to four hundred and fifty grand for his education, the only options he saw for himself were to go all-in or kill himself. So to Fallujah he went, and then to Ranger School, and then a second deployment, a third, a fourth. And every time he threw himself back onto American soil and into the arms of a wife who loved him, it made less and less sense.
The first time Jack Abbot tried to kill himself was in the Tangi Valley in 2011, the night a CH-47 helicopter carrying thirty-eight American and Afghan servicemen was shot down by the Taliban. The night he first realized he’d wished he’d been with them and sat, service weapon loaded, the barrel finding its way into and out of his mouth again.
Not even his therapist knows that.
The second time was fall 2020, when every shift was spent helping people die with their loved ones on FaceTime. Gen was isolating at home with her parents while he stayed in a hotel, calling her three times a day as she underwent chemo and radiation and sweated out neutropenic fevers. His wife was sick, his wife was dying, everyone was dying. And he was a doctor who couldn’t save anyone, not strangers, and not the woman he loved more than anyone else in the world. Robby pumped his stomach full of charcoal after he swallowed a bottle of Valium, threw back half a bottle of Jim Beam, and decided it would be polite to tell Robby he wouldn’t be showing up for his next shift. Or any of the other ones after that.
The third time was in 2022, two months after Gen died in their living room, bloodstream swimming with morphine and fentanyl that did very little to quell the pain of late-stage cancer. He stopped eating, stopped bathing, stopped sleeping, stopped doing much of anything, let the house get foreclosed on and ran the math on how to die easiest without traumatizing anyone else. It was Walsh who pulled him out of his dark bedroom and shoved him fully clothed into the shower, and made his first appointment with his therapist.
He’s not allowed to kill himself.
That much the universe has made clear to him. So he shows up to therapy once a week when he’s doing okay, and twice a week when he’s doing poorly. He’s compliant with his meds. He logs his symptoms in an app. Every once in a while, his therapist throws a little exercise at him. Keep a notebook or a piece of paper in your pocket. Write down good things that happen that day, and review it before you go to sleep. Good things do happen to you. Don’t let PTSD control the narrative of what your life can be.
Sometimes he even does them, even when it feels stupid at first.
When he first starts, his lists are a compilation of sentence fragments about the patients he’s able to save, new restaurants on DoorDash, and journal articles he read and enjoyed. Sometimes he mentions the weather, or a card from one of his sisters, or a dog he saw in the park. The farmer’s market starts up again, and he can buy homemade sourdough. The flowers are blooming. Samira Mohan smiles at him at handover.
Samira Mohan makes eye contact when an MS4 is overly arrogant.
Samira Mohan shares her protein bar with him at the Hub, because she remembers that he loves chocolate and peanut butter.
Samira Mohan lends him a pen when his explodes in his hand in the middle of shift.
Samira Mohan lets him drive her home because it’s snowing.
Samira Mohan looks at him.
Samira Mohan smiles.
Samira Mohan.
Four months into his little experiment with intentional positivity, Robby has disembarked Pittsburgh and possibly his sanity on his motorcycle, and Jack’s lists have become a post-it note kept in a zippered pocket, marked neatly with blue and black ink tally marks.
Times that Dr. Mohan has spoken to him, grinned at him, sought him out in the Pitt, texted him the link to something that she read on PubMed. Cups of coffee and tea, shared sandwiches on the roof, babies held and rocked and soothed in Pedes, minutes spent on the park bench after a rough night. Times they’ve handed each other a scalpel or a clamp or catheter. Times they saved patients. Times they lost them.
The door of his fridge becomes a compendium, but he still needs proof positive of her regard for him. Something that definitively answers that she sees him as a friend, as someone worth trusting, as someone worth remaining in her orbit and her light. He knows that come July she’s moving back home to New Jersey, that they might never have the opportunity to work together again. He is no longer acclimated to base reassignments and deployment groups and loss. He wants to keep her. He wants her to stay.
When she smiles at him, it makes it a little easier for him to remain in his own skin, in his own body, in his own arms and legs and his final five toes. And when he thinks of her leaving, moving six hours away to a hospital he’s never seen, let alone heard of, the stomach acid that crawls up his throat chokes him harder than charcoal as it came back up into an emesis bag.
His fridge is crowded with pieces of little yellow paper—fluttering on the door whenever it opens or shuts, the adhesive on the oldest ones drying and starting to lose tack—on the day she tells him that she’s forgoing a fellowship at all. I think I’m done postponing the rest of my life, she says, leaning on the railing. I think that’s what I’ve been trying to do all along. So I’m staying here.
That night the post-it note that goes on the fridge only says one thing. She kissed me.
the whole “mohabbot is just self-insert hetslop” take is funny to me
because i now have the opportunity to ship abbot with another woman (who is nearer my age actually) and yet i feel zero, zilch, totally numb, uninspired at the prospect of abbot x al-hashimi.
MAYBE i think mohan deserves the world and abbot was the only one who saw her and believed in her.
MAYBE i just like the idea of two hot characters that i love breaking the rules and flirting over off-book medical procedures.
MAYBE the concept of two lonely traumatised workaholics finding each other is my jam.
and MAYBE the only way i wanna insert myself is in a mohabbot sandwich
