“But why is this one named Margo T. Cuddlepants?” Beautiful, visiting-from-Michigan Ann asks in a Russian accent, picking up the stuffed giraffe and holding her up from the spot on the sofa next to Leslie.
Before being tucked into bed by all the adults in the house, Sonia had left a small squad of stuffed animals to keep Leslie and Ann company, including Margo T. Cuddlepants, Waffle-nose, a teddy bear, and Piney, a monkey.
Leslie laughs and explains, “Because I thought she needed a middle initial and last name to make her more dignified and I told Ben and then, he told Sonia. I had been drinking whiskey with Ron in the old Parks department office and–”
“Oh, that night Ben locked you and Ron up together?”
Leslie nods. “But I still stand by the name. Very dignified.”
“But seriously? That was a strange plan. I’m still surprised it worked,” Ann comments, pulling waffle-nose onto her lap.
The two women are on the couch, sharing an after-dinner bottle of wine after the three five year-old triplets had gone to bed.
“Well, it did,” Ben interjects from his spot at the dining room table, where he’s working on his tablet. “So, I wish people would quit criticizing it.”
Leslie giggles at that, as Ann asks, “But what about the ostrich?”
“Oh! That’s her favorite. His name is Bobo and he’s very judgmental and condescending, at least I think so.”
“And he likes crackers,” Ben pipes in soberly. “Very expensive crackers.”
“Well, I think Bobby, Bono, um Bobo needs a full name too,” Ann says and then hiccups.
Leslie nods. “Good plan. What are you thinking?”
“How about…J. Bobert Feathershire?”
“What’s the J for?” Leslie asks.
Ann gives it some thought for a second or two and shouts out, “jelly beans! Oh, sorry. Jelly beans,” she whispers.
At Ann’s outburst, Ben walks into the living room and stops in front of the couch. “Okay, I’m going upstairs. You two need anything?”
“Jelly beans!” Leslie requests, while Ann nods and then takes another sip of wine. “We still have two years’ worth of Oscars to get through.”
“Um, I don’t think we have–”
“Yes we do. In the cabinet next to the glasses, behind the pasta and the brown rice.”
“Ah, of course. The secret jelly bean hiding place. Okay one bowl of jelly beans coming up, goofball,” he tells them, pausing to kiss the top of Leslie’s head. He looks over at Ann, and says, “Sorry, goofballs. You are both goofballs.”
As he turns around and heads towards the kitchen, Leslie whistles at his still-perfect and adorable butt.
“Let me guess. Enjoying the view, babe?” Ben asks without even bothering to turn around.
“Wasn’t me,” she tells him. “That was J. Bobert Feathershire.”
“Oh! The third!” adds Ann. “J. Bobert Feathershire the Third. And he liiiikes you.”
Of course, Bobo is upstairs with Sonia, but neither Leslie or Ann seem too concerned about that detail as they clink glasses and giggle drunkenly.
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