always coming home

esther leigh | they/them | disabled transmasc lesbian | poetry and inspiration | *this is a side blog*

[interviewwiththevampireart]

Death and the Maiden (Marianne Stokes, 1908)

2.06 “Like the Light by Which God Made the World Before He Made Light”

[kiisuuumii]

Richard Siken, "Unfinished Duet," Crush

[kitchen-light]

Dante in Sardinia by Aria Aber, published in Cero Magazine, April 6, 2022

[andrmcda]

maybe this year i'll actually live

[slavicafire]

Young woman with raven hair. Watercolour painting by Władysław Skoczylas, circa 1925.

[andrmcda]

denial

six years later you're still gone i've been having this recurring dream about running into you at the grocery store or the airport it's so good to see you again i tell you all the things i wish i'd said i tell you about the love everything we never got to tell you

every time i can't help but ask where have you been? you just smile and laugh magnetic as ever i'm not sure i can remember what you looked like when you weren't smiling you look vibrant bursting with life

distantly, the wound throbs

but you look lovely in this light warm and yellow slightly fuzzy around the edges always just out of reach

stage one: denial the dream is short i wake up to an emptier world

i dont know how i'm supposed to ever stop missing you

[whenilookedatyouthelightchanged]

"memory paints a halo of tender thoughts around you" antique telegraph postcard, circa 1900

[soracities]

Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red [ID in ALT]

[luthienne]

Franz Wright, from God's Silence; "Progress"

transcription below cut

Nobody has called for some time. (I was always the death of the party.) In a way that leaves a scar, I no longer wish to love. (Come a hairbreadth closer to this shining apparition and be consumed in flame.) I'm still alone with all the world's beauty and cruelty. And I recall everything, everything's here— what is time? When is the present? I'm still here alone in the night hours with everyone. And everything that once was infinitely far and unsayable is now unsayable and right here in the room.

[loveisdamnation]

making art

stoned at the nail salon, lorde | the history of love, nicole krauss | working for the knife, mitski | tracy emin | ugly, bitter, and true, suzanne rivecca | laurie anderson | ocean vuong | joan tierney

[pairedaeza]

“I remember you in honey, in old combs, in the faded colours of clothes hanging in the garden.”

— Pratyusha, excerpt of ‘Starflowers’. Published in The Literateur.

[voirlvmer]

“Lately, something has taken hold / of me—not hunger, not shame. It is like a flower / blooming in the injury.”

— — Richie Hofmann, from “Blue Anther,” A Hundred Lovers (via feestje)

[luthienne]

Franz Wright, from God's Silence; "East Boston, 1996"

[Text ID: Walking home, for a moment / you almost believe you could start again. / And an intense love rushes to your heart, / and hope. It's unendurable, unendurable.]

[weltenwellen]

Hanif Abdurraqib, In an Interview with Krista Tippett

[fishmotif]

Richard Siken - Driving, Not Washing / Killing Eve - season 2, episode 8 / Suede - Europe Is Our Playground / Good Omens - episode 4 / Donna Tartt - The Goldfinch / Hannibal - season 3 episode 4 / Donna Tartt - The Secret History / The Cure - Just Like Heaven /  Pierre Auguste Cot - The Storm (1880) /  Carly Rae Jepsen – Run Away with Me / My Chemical Romance - Summertime / ​t.A.T.u - Not Gonna Get Us / Maxine Kumin - Running Away Together

[kafk-a]

Raymond Carver, from Late Fragment

[weltenwellen]

Audre Lorde, from “A Litany for Survival”, The Collected Poems of Audre Lorde