That Man's A Meat Lovers Meal @androidlapis - Tumblr Blog

"get him pregnant" well thats not my thing but to each their own

"get her pregnant" *takes up my sword and shield* i wont let you do that to her. ......................

Kinda wild how most people generally recognize that the "too sick to go to school, too sick to watch tv/play games" mindset our parents had was bullshit but still impose essentially the exact same rules on disabled adults and scrutinize them for enjoying low-energy hobbies while being too fatigued or in pain to work a full time job (or any job at all)

sailatina3

There's like. Millions of people who genuinely think that touching your wee wee while looking at a drawing will cause severe brain damage and they spend hours engaging in this belief and incorporating it into their politics. Their politics.

sailatina3

Really? Really now? Are you sure?

tethered-heartstrings

"stress" by yoan capote - made of bronze and concrete

tethered-heartstrings

oneheadtoanother

tachyon-log

(USAmerican trying to imagine a societal environment) Okay, so picture a highway,

fishmech

inability to correctly perceive 3d objects is in fact far more dangerous when someone is driving a car next to you then when they're like, sending emails to you.

bunniope

can we focus on the gnome for a second

bunniope

wait sorry i was not wearing my glasses. that is a cat

ladyofspoons

these are the people i have to share a highway with

fyterx

noahwyles

i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me

thanks dad

cikero

did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

cikero

bonyassfish

No place for a little seal

neenarchive

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

neenarchive

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome

targetedknowledge

binturong-of-the-day

The binturong of sloth

boymounter

so many people don't understand how abelist it is to kill your brother with a rock

anti-parent

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

anti-parent

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

shubbabang

its not funny but i do think about it a lot

dikdikpronouncedxylophone

This made me think about this panel from Calvin and Hobbes:

But unlike the adult in this strip, Calvin’s dad actually APOLOGIZED for yelling at him when he saw how guilty his kid was:

cutecipher

got grabbed after mischief

cutecipher

again

rickybabyboy

some one call my lawyer i am being unfairly grabbed

nando161mando

jacketslutjayse

Source

The rise of androgyny and unisex fashion in the 1970s was apparently responsible for the introduction of a sex marker in passports.

milf--adjacent

Oh wow so me saying "no government documentation should ever include a gender marker for any reason" has been right all along. For exactly the reason I stated when people were giving me shit for not supporting x markers on documents.

hadesisqueer

"Tattoos are becoming unpopular", "piercings are unpopular again", "keep your hair natural never dye it again, it's the trend now" literally fuck off I know what y'all are doing