SUMMARY : cheong-san's friend group finds out that he has a crush on y/n l/n.
wc : 2.5k
(it's gn reader pronouns but the reader is mentioned to be a princess a few times)
(non apocalypse au!)
"hey you punk, get to your seats!"
ms. park yelled out, people rushing to their seats as y/n slept soundly on their table,
"someone wake up y/n."
"y/n.. wake up.."
y/n's deskmate quickly slipped into their seat, tapping y/n on the shoulder rapidly to wake them up. y/n stirred awake, blinking at the bright sun that was shining through the window.
"thank you for joining us, y/n!"
ms. park said with a teasing smile, then setting down her books. y/n returned a small smile, sitting up.
"hi, good morning."
"good morning!"
as usual, everyone started to stand up, walking to the front to hand in their phones. y/n lazily stood up, walking slowly until someone bumped into them.
"here, i'll do it."
the boy said, softly taking y/n's phone out of their hand. y/n found that it was cheong-san.
"thank you, cheong-san."
"no worries."
cheong-san grinned at them, then walking to the front to put their phones into the box.
-
"in fact, none of us are completely free from prejudice. we all have preconceived ideas about others. here, 'free from' means the lacking in or unincumbered by. anyone want to interpret this?"
y/n lazily drew in their book, smiling a bit when their friend drew random things next to it.
"class president?"
nam-ra lifted her head, ms. park tapping the board with the chalk.
"the truth is, all of us have some sort of prejudice. we all have preconceptions about other people."
"hmm, okay. nice. next, y/n, bare-su, stand up."
y/n's smile faded as they looked up at su-hyeok who stood up, them following suit.
"yes?"
"what's with 'bare-su'?"
"uhmm.."
"it's short for barefoot su-hyeok. bare-su."
some people in the class could be heard laughing. su-hyeok nervously swaying on his feet with his hands behind his back. y/n was still scribbling on their page while their deskmate was smacking their hand to stop them.
"okay, bare-su! what did nam-ra say a minute ago?"
ms. park asked su-hyeok, who looked at y/n while they were still drawing on their page.
“y/n? do you wanna help out bare-su?”
“everyone has their own type of prejudice against other people, something like that.”
“yes, sit down. bare-su, you can keep standing- put your arms in the air too.”
su-hyeok groaned aloud as the class laughed under their breaths. cheongsan looked back at y/n as they dusted off their lap, laying their head on the palm of their hand and looking out the window.
cheong-san watched as the sun hit their face, y/n slightly squinting and covered the sun with their free hand, sighing a bit.
cheong-san quickly looked away as his friend, gyeong-su hit him on the shoulder.
"what are you doing man? shit, are you looking at y/n?"
"what? no way."
"you like them, don't you?!"
"shut up!"
-
eventually, lunch rolled around as cheong-san walked with his friends, laughing together as cheong-san prayed that gyeong-su forgot what happened in class an hour before.
"cheong-san."
cheong-san turned his head to see y/n, looking up at him holding their tray of food.
"do you want these? i hate them."
y/n pointed at the cubes of pickled radish, cheong-san looking at their face rather than the food they were pointing at.
"oh, sure, i'll take it."
cheong-san quickly picked up his chopsticks, picking up at the cubes quickly as his friends noticed that he wasn't walking with them anymore.
gyeong-su hit his friends, pointing towards y/n and cheong-san as cheong-san gave them his banana milk, y/n smiling up at him and he shared a giddy smile back.
"wah, they totally like each other."
"he's coming- turn around!"
the group all turned and walked towards a free table as cheong-san caught up to them, sitting down next to su-hyeok.
"yah."
cheong-san's head went up to dae-su who was sitting across from him on the table.
"what?"
"you like y/n, right?"
cheong-san blinked at dae-su, chuckling, then looking back down at his food.
"what gives you that idea?"
su-hyeok and gyeong-su made silent eye contact as gyeong-su dramatically rolled his eyes.
'no way he doesn't.'
'if he doesn't, he's crazy.'
the two telepathically contacted through their facial expressions, wu-jin hitting dae-su on the fore arm hard as dae-su caressed his arm in pain.
"shut up and start eating."
"why are you so rude to me?!"
-
"alright! be quiet!"
ms. park yelled once again that day, quietening the class in a hurry as they quickly reduced to silence.
"the school festival is coming up, and our class will be doing a play."
"what?"
"seriously?"
"again? our class did that last year!"
"quiet! they all liked our performance last year so much that they wanted us to do it once more."
ms. park said, wanting the class to be more proud of themselves. but some people just sighed, looking away in embarrassment.
"this time, we're going to be randomly choosing our roles, so don't get upset with what you get."
"yes ma'am.."
-
"seriously..?"
"seriously?"
y/n and cheong-san said at the same time, having gone up together to randomly pick the paper out of the box of random roles and looking at their papers while walking side by side to get back to their seats.
"what? what did you get?"
cheong-san asked, peeking over their paper to see what role they got but y/n quickly held the small piece of paper to their chest, shaking their head.
"tell me what you got first."
"no way, i asked first."
"same time?"
"okay fine."
"one, two, three!"
y/n and cheong-san held their papers infront of their chest, blinking at each other's roles.
"prince?"
y/n said, looking up at his face as cheong-san looked up at them.
"princess..?"
cheong-san muttered, nearly out of breath as he felt the breath in his lungs start to float away, up and up into the sky as the two held eye contact with each other, gazing at each other until a certain someone's best friend interrupted.
"wah! y/n and cheong-san are the prince and princess!"
gyeong-su exclaimed excitedly, pointing at the two who looked away from each other, quickly putting their papers down, cheong-san shoving his into his pocket as y/n held it in their hand, scrunching it up.
"y/n, you're the princess?"
y/n's deskmate asked, looking up from their seat while on-jo and i-sak looked up with y/n's deskmate, smiles on their face.
"are you?! that's so cute! y/n and cheong-san!"
"oooo!"
the class ooo'ed in unison, making y/n embarrassed as they covered their mouth with one hand, cheong-san starting to glare at gyeong-su.
"yah, asshole."
"okay i'm sorry man i didn't mean it- wait! i didn't mean it!"
-
“okay, take 16. three, two, one!”
ms. park said with a clap, na-yeon next to her holding a clapperboard and closing it right, rolling her eyes while doing so.
“romeo, you must leave, it isn’t safe for you here!”
y/n said, holding a piece of paper with their lines, their eyes looking down at it every few seconds.
“i can’t leave, knowing you’re here by yourself, it’s too much.”
“mercutio will be here any second, you have to go!”
y/n fell into cheong-san’s arms, worry on their face on they banged on his chest. cheong-san kept his gaze on y/n, gripping tight onto them.
“i don’t care, i’ll fight him, here, on the spot!”
cheong-san declared, pushing y/n softly out of his arms as he raised his shirt up a little, flashing the dagger that was tucked away under his shirt as he took out the fake plastic dagger, holding it in his hand.
“romeo! juliet!”
su-hyeok yelled, popping out from behind the curtains as he locked eyes with cheong-san, pointing the top of the fake sword in his hand at the two, cheong-san shielding y/n with his free arm.
“have you given in? will you give up juliet to me?”
su-hyeok said, glaring at cheong-san.
"never, you'll never have y/- juliet."
cheong-san declared, pointing his dagger at su-hyeok as the lights went out, the auditory room going dark as a little bit of shuffling was heard. after a few seconds, the lights went back on to reveal cheong-san on the floor, holding his stomach with one hand as the other propped himself up on his elbow, y/n held cheong-san, facing away from the audience.
su-hyeok was a few meters away, holding his neck while he slouched while standing up.
"if i can't have juliet.. no one can.."
su-hyeok said with a final breath, collapsing on the floor and presumably dying.
"che- romeo. please.. i need you..."
y/n said, cradling cheong-san's face in their hands.
"don't worry, juliet.. i, love you. i always have.."
cheong-san said, his eyes fluttering shut slowly as his hands held onto y/n's back, squeezing tight as y/n leaned in, the script saying that y/n and cheong-san would have to kiss, but y/n was too nervous, their lips opening and closing, pausing still infront of cheong-san's face.
cheong-san sensed it, his eyes looking down at y/n's lips, knowing y/n was nervous, the expression on their face being a tell-tale sign.
"it's okay, you don't have to."
the front curtains closed, cheong-san, su-hyeok and y/n were then hidden from the audience.
"good job!"
"that was good!"
"time for costume building!"
a person exclaimed, clapping aloud as the curtains opened back up, y/n quickly standing up, holding out a hand for cheong-san to get up.
"nice acting y/n."
cheong-san, smiling up at y/n as he grabbed onto their hand, y/n pulling him up.
"thanks, you did good too."
y/n smiled up at him, cheong-san's heart beating faster and faster as cheong-san adjusted his tie, swallowing a gulp.
"are none of you gonna help me up?"
su-hyeok said, still on the floor on his back as he looked up at the duo who looked over at him.
"ha, no."
cheong-san said, pulling y/n by the arm away to make their costumes as su-hyeok yelled out, and y/n laughed out.
"yah! help me up!"
-
"cheong-san, c'mere."
y/n said, writing down measurements as cheong-san looked over at them, walking over.
"i gotta take your measurements, lift up your arms please."
cheong-san did so, lifting his arms up as y/n wrapped the measuring tape around his waist first. cheong-san stared at y/n's focused features, not minding how y/n's hands trailed down to his hips.
“what colour do you think suits me?”
cheong-san murmured, standing tall as y/n began to measure his arms.
“hm, i think.. white. black too.”
“everyone suits black and white.”
cheong-san chuckled, feeling y/n's hands shake while y/n laughed.
"y/n! can you come measure su-hyeok?"
"coming! one sec!"
y/n said, quickly measuring cheong-san's shoulders, cheong-san becoming distracted at the thought of y/n measuring su-hyeok.
"su-hyeok?"
cheong-san questioned, y/n not hearing him as they started to walk away, holding the clipboard and writing down cheong-san's measurements.
"ah! y/n-.."
cheong-san quickly became quiet, watching as y/n smiled at su-hyeok, the two of them laughing about something that cheong-san couldn't hear. the dark haired boy's jaw tightened, closing his eyes as he breathed out.
"cheong-san! come over here, we need help!"
"coming."
-
y/n sat on the long staircase, their hands behind their back resting on the concrete, staring up at the sunset.
"y/n,"
cheong-san said, making y/n look towards the voice as cheong-san threw them a can of soda.
"thanks."
"no problem."
cheong-san sat down next to them, opening his own soda quickly and chugging a bit, opening the bag and picking out the corndog he bought, munching into it as y/n looked after they heard the crunch.
"hey, why didn't you get me one?"
y/n whined, reaching over to grab the stick but cheong-san brought his hand away, making y/n lean over him, hand on his leg.
"you didn't ask me, and i wanted one okay?"
cheong-san commented, taking another bite off the corndog as cheese stretched off on the stick, making y/n groan.
"please cheong-san- i'll buy you chicken!"
"you're gonna just buy from my mom's place and she's gonna be too nice and just give you for free."
"well.. i'll tell you anything you want."
cheong-san paused for a second, letting y/n snatch the corn dog out his hand, taking a bite.
"hey!"
"i will though! anything you want, but one thing."
y/n said, while chewing a bit, then swallowing.
"whatchu wanna ask?"
y/n smiled up at him through their eyelashes, blinking rapidly trying to charm him while cheong-san laughed, looking away from y/n but just scooted closer to them.
"okay. do you,"
cheong-san hesitated for a second, y/n tilting their head while waiting for his response, their can of soda pressed to their lips as the liquid shine from the drink spread onto y/n's lips.
"do i?"
"do you.. like anyone?"
cheong-san asked, quickly darting his eyes away from them as y/n blinked at the weird suspense to ask such a, normal question.
"that's it? but yeah, i do."
"who?"
"i said i'd tell you one thing."
y/n replied, not letting the topic spread any further about themselves.
"do you like anyone?"
"..maybe."
"what the hell?! who! tell me cheong-san."
"no, you aren't telling me your one!"
"i, have my reasons."
"well then me too!"
-
it felt like it had been taking months to prep for the school festival play, y/n could hear the talking of the crowd and audience outside, having put on the ridiculous dress that i-sak and gyeong-su made together.
"so, itchy.!"
"stop complaining!"
y/n's deskmate said, slapping them on the arm as y/n grabbed their arm, rubbing it in pain.
"you got this- oh, lee cheong-san."
y/n turned their head, seeing the dark haired 'prince' who wore the black and white princely attire that y/n had personally, helped make for him.
"hi y/n."
"hi cheong-san."
y/n smiled at him, making their deskmate slip away with no notice, walking towards on-jo and i-sak who were setting up the lights.
"are you ready?"
y/n asked, scratching the back of their head while looking away and cheong-san smiled back.
"yeah. are you?"
"'course."
-
cheong-san felt conflicted about his feelings, his jaw clutched as he lied on the floor.
"if i can't have juliet.. no one can.."
su-hyeok said with a final breath, collapsing on the floor as his body spread across the floor in a dramatic manner.
"romeo. please.. i need you..."
y/n said, cradling cheong-san's face in their hands. their voice hiccuping as they talked and their voice sounding out loud and clear through the auditory room.
"don't worry, juliet.. i, love you. i always have.."
cheong-san said, bringing a hand up to y/n's cheek, and then also swiftly taking off his mic set, making y/n raise their eyebrows at him as he also pushed down y/n's mic away from their mouth.
"cheong-san?"
"i love you, i always have, y/n."
y/n's eyes widened at the declaration, surprise filling their eyes as cheong-san had a sudden change in heart, his heart beating out of his chest as he worried of y/n not reciprocating his feelings.
"really?"
"of course."
cheong-san quickly added, nothing registering in his mind until he felt y/n's lips against his, his eyes widening, the crowd cheering, and the curtains closing.
“…we must not look at goblin men, we must not buy their fruits: who knows upon what soil they fed their hungry thirsty roots?” (c. rossetti, goblin market)
II
“it’s only forever. not long at all” (d. bowie, underground)
– a new digital painting / dedicated to all those kids both big and little who were and are still interested in the faery tale, the thing(s) in the woods, the old tales, the whisper of magic in the mundane spaces of life
When Levi put up an offer about looking for a flatmate, she didn’t expect to end up sharing a home with someone like this.
Petra Ral, a 24-year-old University student with a smile glued to her face, made a major shift in Levi’s daily life at home. It had been almost half a year since she moved into the bigger room from the 2 available and changed their basic cheap IKEA-filled place with her heart.
She was everywhere, wherever Levi looked; in the plants blooming by the window, the fluffy navy carpet spread in front of the couch, and the funky patterned pillows on it. Since she, herself, didn’t have much stuff (she hated hoarding), Levi let Petra take over the interior.
At first, she continued to live her life like usual, mostly staying in her room, not engaging with whatever the other person was doing, but it seemed that Petra just couldn’t let her be. She constantly found ways to invite her to watch a movie together, taste the new recipe she tried, or catch her in the kitchen to ask about her day.
Levi hated all of that. Having her day be interrupted was a nightmare. Petra must have realized that at some point, since she stopped bothering her. Ironically, not long after that, Levi ran into her in the kitchen while the ginger was engrossed in preparing a special brew of tea. She watched her, checking the temperature of the water and waiting for it to cool down to exactly 80 Celsius before pouring it into the small cup with a blend of leaves. It changed everything.
Curious, Levi came up and asked the flustered girl about what she was preparing. They clicked instantly once they discovered their mutual love for tea. Since then, when Petra knocked on the door, she had a tray of tea set and ready for them to enjoy in the evening.
By now, they became friends, and it was the first time when Levi felt at home and not just like sleeping in a place she currently was in.
She was preparing dinner when Petra came back home. After a moment, the overdressed ginger joined her in the kitchen.
“I’m about to kill Oluo,” she whined and sat at the counter with her hands on her cheeks. “He forgot to study, AGAIN, and I had to cancel my date to go help him get it into that empty head of his.”
Levi grew accustomed to hearing about her friends. It was part of spending time with Petra, she overshared a lot, letting Levi keep her private life to herself.
“You didn’t have to,” the dark haired woman noted, not looking up from the boiled vegetables she was cutting.
“Yes…technically not. But, you know, I can't leave a friend in need of help.”
“Did it strike you that he just wanted to ruin your date?” Levi pointed, a spark of irritation formed in her chest, but she pretended it was nothing.
Petra blinked and looked up in the distance.
“I…don’t think so. He knows we’re never going to leave the friend zone, I hope,” she said, unsure. “Well, anyway…I think me and Patrick are getting serious, so… I’m sure he doesn’t mind,” Petra followed with a small smile.
Levi didn’t know what to say. She never met the man Petra was seeing, at least from her stories he sounded decent.
“How did you know you liked girls?”
She looked up at the curious ginger, a little surprised, but didn’t show it.
“I kind of always knew,” she replied simply. “It was harder to realize and accept the fact I don’t like men.”
Petra let out a thoughtful hum. Levi remembered the time when Petra learned about her sexuality. She was pretty shocked and flustered, apologizing for assuming she was straight and assuring she had no problem with it. Levi didn’t understand all the fuss. Apparently, people from the countryside weren’t used to being openly queer.
“Why? Did you kiss a girl at a party or something?” Levi snorted, as she finished preparing her meal and turned to face the ginger.
“No! I’m just curious how it works.”
“Kissing a girl?”
“Stop teasing me!” Petra laughed, a blush covering her cheeks.” I meant, knowing you’re into them.”
Levi shrugged, sending her a smirk. Petra was adorable, exactly her type.
When she told her friends about her new flatmate, they knew about her crush right away.
“Straight girls should come with a warning” is what her friend, Erwin, had told her as they drowned their sorrows at the bar. Deep down, Levi hoped for Petra to be at least bi, but she was better not to dwell on it. One day, Petra will move out and they will part ways. It was a matter of time, so why worry about it.
“Want to try it?” Levi pitched casually, eyeing the other woman.
“The salad?”
“Sure,” she replied and handed the bowl to her. “And kissing.”
Petra choked on the food and coughed before looking back at her in shock.
“I won’t make you,” Levi assured her, keeping it cool.
“Well… I guess, if it’s okay with you…” Petra said, her face turning red.
“I don’t mind. You’re a clean person, so you don’t disgust me.”
Petra laughed, covering her mouth and swallowed the rest of the food before putting the bowl back on the counter.
“Should I go brush my teeth?” she asked, unsure, and tucked her overgrown bangs behind her ear.
Levi rolled her eyes and walked up close to her. She was feeling too awkward about it to try to make it romantic, especially when it was just Petra’s curiosity. She grabbed her jaw from below and pulled her into a prolonged, but not intense, kiss. It lasted for barely 5 seconds, then she let her go. Levi couldn't help but lick her lips afterward. Petra’s touch was as pleasant as she suspected.
“Oh!” Petra let out, red as a tomato and a blank expression on her face. “So…well…it is different.”
“Wouldn’t know, never kissed a man,” Levi wrapped up the conversation and went to her room with her salad bowl in hand.
When Petra applied to rent a room in Trost, she didn't expect to end up living with someone like this.
Levi Ackerman was the most introverted, emotionally AND physically closed off person she ever met. For some reason, she craved her attention even more due to that.
Living alone with another girl was a new experience. She definitely didn't expect Levi to leave her room in a lacy bra without any padding like it was nothing. That's how she learned about her nipple piercing, anyway.
Levi was the coolest person she had ever met. She was enamored in how little she cared about other people's opinions. It was as if nothing could throw her off.
She used to feel jealous of her beauty at times. The sharp jaw and high cheekbones made her look like a model. Petra could swear Levi would make a fortune on being a fashion or makeup influencer, but Levi couldn't care less about her looks.
When Petra told her about it, she looked at her like she was crazy.
It was when Petra was complaining about her love life and suggested that Levi could probably have any man she wanted, she learned that Levi, in fact, had no interest in them.
She felt stupid, embarrassed by not even considering that. She never met a queer person before, or at least no one came out to her. She thought Levi would want to share more of her thoughts about it, but she changed the topic as if it was nothing special.
Months later, when Levi proposed to kiss her, Petra was thrilled. She didn't understand that feeling, but she liked new experiences. She didn't mind Levi's touch at all. She felt comfortable with her and she wondered if that was how it was to have a girl best friend.
She laid on her bed, trying to fall asleep, but every time she let herself relax, her mind drifted to the feeling of Levi's lips on hers.
They were so soft, she couldn't get it out of her mind. Even the way her flatmate held her face was softer, despite it being a firm grip.
Frustrated, Petra turned to her back. Levi would be disappointed if she knew how much she was thinking about it. Clearly, it was a casual thing for her. Some people just didn't care about kisses and that was it.
Her Tears
Levi was sitting on a windowsill next to the balcony, playing with a cigarette in her hand. It wasn’t lit, but she was looking at it, trying to convince herself to not smoke it. Petra didn’t like it, she always wrinkled her nose when she smelled the smoke from her. It wasn’t like Levi was addicted, she mostly smoked from boredom, it calmed her nerves a bit too. She sighed and looked into the distance behind the glass.
The ambience of the city and the noise of a low volume tv channel playing in the background got interrupted when she heard the door to the flat unlocking. She was convinced Petra was about to spend the night partying with her friends and boyfriend, and it was barely 11 PM.
By the characteristic clank of Petra’s keys hitting the shelf in the hallway, it must have been her, who else could that be.
“Party canceled?” she asked, looking in the hallway's direction, but couldn't see the other girl, so she looked away again. She heard her changing her shoes and noticed her entering the living room in the corner of her eye.
The answer did not come, so Levi took a look at her again. Her eyebrows went up.
Petra's face was pale, eyes red, and her hand trembled when she took off her sunglasses. The ginger tried to say something, but her voice got caught in the cry, and she gritted her teeth to stop.
Levi looked at her, frozen in place. She had never seen Petra looking so miserable before. She left the forgotten cigarette behind to walk up to her.
“You okay?”
Petra slowly opened her mouth and took a shaky breath.
“Patrick cheated on me,” she said, opening and closing her fists. “I…really thought there was something between us, I…it hurts.”
“Piece of shit,” Levi grunted, feeling the irritation overflowing her, but the empty look in Petra’s eyes distracted her. “That only shows he wasn’t worth it.” She tried to console her, but it only caused the tears to drop heavily from her cheeks down on the floor. The older woman sighed and embraced the ginger.
Petra hugged her back instantly and hid her face in her shoulder, her silence turning into quiet sobs.
“Sorry this happened to you. I’m sure you didn’t deserve it.”
“Mh…” the girl whimpered.
Levi waited patiently for her to calm down, doing her best to not focus on how good it felt to have her in her arms. It wasn’t the right time for that. Seeing that Petra wasn't about to calm down soon, she scooped her up and carried her to the couch.
The girl searched her purse for wipes and wiped her nose before she surrendered her body into the pillows. Levi sat down next to her and, instantly, Petra moved closer to lay her head on her shoulder while embracing her arm.
“He is…a piece of shit, indeed.” Petra replied finally.
“Obviously.”
“He did it when…when I canceled our date. He thought I’m hooking up with Oulo and just playing with him.”
Levi looked at her with a doubt in her eyes.
“Does he even know you?” She said with a doubtful tone and embraced her with one arm. Petra found her touch soothing.
“I guess… I didn’t really know him, either.”
“It will be fine. You’ll see.”
“I don’t want to go to bed. I don’t want to cry into my pillow like a stupid…” she didn’t finish her sentence, just sighed.
Levi looked around and let go of the girl to move the pillows and reach for the blanket. Without thinking, Petra crawled under the blanket with her, hiding herself to the point Levi could only see the top of her head peeking out. She scooted the sobbing girl closer and relaxed, mindlessly watching the late night news that appeared on the tv.
“Take your time.” She said in a softer tone.
Sleepover
Levi looked up from her laptop when she heard a double knock to her bedroom. The doors opened slightly and a ginger head peaked into the room.
"Do you wanna hang out?"
The dark haired woman frowned, dark eye bags pronouncing her tired expression.
"It's 2 AM. Why aren't you sleeping?" she asked, eyeing her flatmate.
"I don't know," Petra sighed in a reply and entered the room. She was looking down, Levi noticed. "I can't sleep and I know you're usually up late so…"
She looked up, seeing Levi stretching and closing her laptop.
"What do you wanna do?"
Petra’s expression brightened and she walked over to climb onto her bed. Levi followed her and sat with her legs crossed.
"Talk. And braid your hair," the ginger explained with a grin on her face.
"Figures," Levi rolled her eyes. Petra was obsessed with her long hair. If it was anyone else, she would cut it by now just to get rid of the attention. She turned her back toward her and relaxed.
Petra sat behind her and started brushing the dark strands with her fingers. Levi closed her eyes, enjoying the pleasuring sensation.
"So, what's keeping you up?"
The ginger was silent for a longer moment and sighed before replying.
"I don't really know. Maybe nerves. I'm going to see my family over the weekend. Don't get me wrong, they love me a lot, but they are very… invasive. They want to know everything. I don't know how to tell them I don't want to come back during the break between semesters."
"Why not just tell them outright? "
"I wish it was that easy. You must have a great relationship with your parents if you can be that honest."
Levi opened her eyes and played with her fingers. It wasn't normal for her to open up but, after all, it was Petra. She made her do a lot of unnatural things.
"I don't. My mom died of sickness when I was little. I don't know my father and I don't care to know him."
"Oh… Sorry."
The honesty Levi could hear in the other girl's voice was reaching dangerously deep into her heart.
"It's fine. It's been a long time. I don't feel anything when I say this."
Petra hummed in thought and stopped playing with her hair. Levi wondered if she finished the braid. She didn't expect getting embraced by her from the back. Petra's soft cheek brushed over hers, making her heart beat faster.
"I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad you turned out like you did regardless. You're an awesome person, and I'm so glad I've met you."
Levi could feel her face reddening. This interaction was way too mushy for her, but somehow, she didn't want her to let go. This sweet talk was foreign to her.
"Thanks," she managed to reply and cursed herself, feeling Petra's arms relaxing before she moved back. Levi gathered her composure and turned to her.
"Time to sleep. It's not good for you to stay up so late."
Petra smiled at her.
"Is it good for you?"
"Don't get so bratty," she grunted, and moved the covers to hasten her to get under them. Petra bit her lip and sneaked in with her. She watched Levi turn off the bedside lamp.
It took a moment before they were able to see each other in the darkness. Levi noticed the other woman was looking at her, so she sighed and pulled her close to her chest.
"Go to sleep." she told her, stroking her soft hair.
"Goodnight, Levi," Petra replied in a sweet voice, hugging her back and snuggling closer.
Craving
"Petra… don't do this to me," Levi let out shallowly, while holding the ginger's arms firmly, so she couldn't move closer.
Despite the background noise of the party, time seemed to stop between the two of them.
Hidden behind the corner, in the garden of Petra's rich friend's house - after a couple of drinks - Levi found herself in the arms of her lovely roommate.
It all started because she got pissed at the sight of men shamelessly flirting with Petra. They weren't even supposed to see each other. Levi tagged along with her friends to the party and discovering Petra was also attending wasn't a nice surprise. There was a reason she never hung out with her like this.
She was able to ignore how much this woman attracted her to some point, but seeing her being swooned by others turned her murderous stare on right away.
When Petra approached her in worry of her bad mood, Levi didn't want to talk, but eventually got convinced to try to relax and drink with her.
She found herself keeping the ginger close, with one hand holding her waist, subconsciously scaring off others from trying to steal her attention.
Petra's cheeks were flushed, which Levi brushed off as a result of the alcohol, but the alarm started to ring in her mind when she started snuggling into her with no shame, despite being in public.
She wanted to enjoy it, she craved it, her touch and affection, but the cold reality stayed in the back of her mind.
They were talking in low voices when Petra started to steal glances at her lips and finally leaned for a kiss.
That's how they ended up in that situation.
"I won't be your drunk experiment," she said quietly, trying to hide the pain inside her. She kept eye contact with the girl, hoping she would just snap out of her drunk, stupid idea. Her heart wouldn't stand it.
The ginger seemed confused, but it was hard to read her expression in the dim light of the nearby lamp.
"I'm not… that drunk."
"Petra," Levi said more sternly. "I can't."
"Am I gross?" Petra asked worryingly, making the other woman frown.
Levi took a deep but shallow breath.
"Listen to me," she started, barely holding a shake in her voice. "This? It will hurt me," she said, tightening her grip on her shoulders, as if she was stopping herself from running away.
"I'd never hurt you, Levi," Petra said, clearly not grasping the situation in full view.
"You need to sober up."
"I'm not that drunk!"
"Then what do you think you're doing?"
"I…"
The words got stuck in Petra's throat and silence fell between them while they looked into each other's eyes.
Levi's expression softened. Whatever was going on in the ginger's head, she wasn't messing with her on purpose. She raised her hand and ruffled her hair before grabbing her hand and leading her back to the garden where the party went on.
She spotted Petra's friend and approached her.
"Here, keep an eye on her, okay?" she said to the surprised girl with strawberry colored hair.
Petra was quiet. She didn't look upset, but she seemed absent when Levi left the two of them.
Confession
Next couple of days, they lived in this uncomfortable dance around the topic of what had happened during the party.
Petra was rolling from side to side every couple of minutes in her bed, distressed by the thoughts in her head.
It was easier to ignore her feelings when she had a lot to study for, but now after the exams, the relief got replaced by embarrassment.
She didn't see much of Levi this week and she wondered if she offended her that much. In an awkward morning they ran into each other, she apologized to her older roommate just before she headed to work and that's where the topic ended. Levi was either unusually busy, or she intentionally spent more time outside to avoid her.
All because of me acting stupid on alcohol, Petra thought, turning onto her back. After a moment of mindless looking at the ceiling, her hand wandered to her lips and she touched them softly with the ends of her fingers.
There it was, the uncertainty of what she actually wanted. The scary truth she was pushing aside since she started living here.
Levi made her feel things like no one before. It was different from her crushes on boys, that's why it was so hard to grasp. When she crushed on boys, she wanted to be noticed, approved and complimented.
When it came to Levi… the feeling hit deep within her. So much stronger, intense. The dark haired beauty made her feel special by simply talking to her. Her icy gaze that could be so piercing, yet softened when she looked into her eyes, the pronounced jaw and cheekbones, her long fingers and firm touch - she was strong in every way.
Petra closed her eyes and sighed. It was only a friendship, a close friendship. She adored her, but that was it.
She could find a man who would distract her, or maybe Levi could find a girlfriend, and that circus of emotions would stop.
Letting that thought sink in, she took another deep breath. Seconds passed while an invisible force started tightening around her heart.
With a sudden spark of energy, she frantically got out of bed and marched straight to her roomate room. She opened the door without thinking, earning a surprised face from her friend who laid on the bed, texting on her phone in the darkness. The ginger hit the light switch and bit her lip before speaking out.
"I lied," she said, her voice shaking. "I'm not sorry."
Levi looked confused, but she sat up.
"What?"
"I'm not sorry about doing… About trying to kiss you. Because I really wanted you to kiss me. I like you," she confessed loudly, her voice shaking. "And I don't know if you have someone already, but the thought of it, it… It's so bad. I don't want… You treat anyone else like you treat me," she sobbed and lowered her head, wiping her eyes with the short sleeve of her shirt.
Levi was looking at her in shock and finally put her phone down. She frowned for a second before standing up to approach the distressed girl. Petra had a hard time looking her in the eyes. Levi grabbed her hand and pulled her to sit down on her bed together.
“Sorry I…cry so easily.” Petra mumbled, looking up to try to stop it.
“Are you…sober now?” Levi asked, eyeing her.
“Yes!” the ginger let out, frustrated, which actually amused the other woman.
“Okay, no more yelling. You’re gonna make the neighbors write complaints about us.”
“Sorry…” Petra replied in a small voice.
Levi watched her bothered expression and without thinking too much, she grabbed her elbows and moved her hands down her arms to her wrists, pushing her onto the mattress at the same time. Petra ended up pinned under her, her lips slightly parted in surprise. Levi’s face seemed devoid of emotions, but inside, there was a whole rush of so many of them.
“I don’t like when you cry.” she stated after biting her own lip, deep in thought. “Especially if it’s because of me.”
Big amber eyes looked straight into her own. Her wish was coming true and she couldn't quite grasp that realization. She moved her hands again, this time to intertwine their fingers.
“I have a horrible crush on you, Petra.” Levi confessed in a low voice, leaving the other one speechless. “So this better not be a joke.”
“I-It’s not.” she assured her right away and took a nervous breath.
Levi’s mouth twitched into a smirk and she leaned in to catch her lips in a kiss. This time, finally, a real one.
