Last Call

Living life on silent

[as-lost-as-you-are]

[andzrew]

Clockwork

Before me and before you

Before that and this

Before them

Before these and those

Before the comedown

Before self-loathing was a joint venture Before yearning faded into apathy

When aloofness was a playful tease

Not a way out

Before we gained a reluctance for truth

Before the melding of manic nights

When eyes were warm and hands were eager

Before we gave weight to expectations and replaced possibility with knowing

That must be the place

[andzrew]

idle hands

Obsessive.

Compulsive.

Entirely disorderly.

I do what I can to make the intrusive thoughts comfortable

Paralyzed by an aggressive uncertainty

of everything

or anything

or nothing

What’s left to lose should warrant more effort than none

Still, even with that

The consequence of an empty tomorrow isn’t heavy enough to keep me from myself

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

– K

[quotefeeling]

“Nobody realizes that some people expend a tremendous energy trying to be normal.”

— Albert Camus

[acklum]

Lammas

Goodbye, I’ll see

you soon! We both

know that’s a lie.

Give a brief hug -

try not to think

about winter.

-acklum

[senoritamuertita]

I woke up this morning to realize I didn’t want to see the sun today

[andzrew]

[nutnics]

[quotefeeling]

“It’s interesting how something that comes so easily to one person can be so impossible for someone else.”

— Susane Colasanti, So Much Closer

[andzrew]

Nature’s Fridge

[andzrew]

What flavor?

Rasberry

For now

Conversation is next

Useless banter at first but a foot in the door is exactly that

What flavors next?

A closed door or an invitation for more?

If I saw you later is it because I asked?

When I see you later can you shut me down?

Humility will stop this spiral and I hope you paint me in it.

[andzrew]

Tinnitus

Explosions cease but the ash never settles.

The road ahead is littered with clues of the past,

You couldn’t think straight if you tried your fucking hardest.

Stop.

Stop trying.

Lie in it.

You did this.

YOU did this.

Don’t burn the bridge,

please just wait.

[andzrew]

The question plays over and over

What am I running from?

Feeble attempts to erase past mistakes from my mind at every waking

Life plays and I watch

Wishing they didn’t

Hoping they won’t

I’m not running from anything

I’m running towards the end

Are you sure it’s not a race?

[andzrew]

I built this mountain to get away

The isolation providing refuge from the walking mirrors below

Burning bridges to keep them at bay

Every face a reflection of the resentment I hold for myself

Projection reigns as authority while the enemy sits within the gate

Would I still be mad if I could see pass myself?

Who’s really to blame

If there’s any to be had at all

I think it’s time to come down

[andzrew]

I pull the words from people's mouths so they agree with themselves when I speak.

And its through this that I've strung my web of comfort,

in which no member is true and each their own heretic.

[senoritamuertita]

Substance flows organically