moon and stars

astraera’s side blog

[myshangel]

how shane and ilya are sitting at their daughter's preschool after she got put in time out for saying "hello gay boy" (ilya has used this greeting to piss shane off for years and did Not know she could repeat it)

[potatomode]

Pls. do not re-post/reupload or use outside of tumblr without my permission.

Happiest Birthday to Shane Hollander! 🏒 Hockey legend, trophy collector, and most importantly, Ilya’s husband and Yuna and David' favorite son (Ilya: I'll allow this just for today)

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[codeblueberry]

Not my circus but I've grown quite fond of its monkeys

+ bonus:

[scorpiosantos]

[dntat-makesthings]

If our boy Shane Hollander was diagnosed.

[emizzso]

trinity santos my beloved

[bleekay]

ilya's silly april fools "shane is pregnant 💕" post with shane's comment "not with playoffs around the corner. abortion"

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of rose giving shane a weighted blanket as a gift and it soon becoming ilya's Number One Enemy in their house

at first it was just because it was a gift from rose, but now??? shane is cuddling up under The Mistress? ("ilya, it is a fucking blanket-") shane does not need to ask ilya to lay on top of him because he would rather be beneath The Mistress? ("ilya, for FUCK'S sake, you weren't even home-") maybe shane doesn't even need him anymore. maybe The Mistress can learn to suck his co- ("i'm going to bed. you can join me or you can keep glaring at a FUCKING BLANKET")

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and i'm cackling about this arrangement being referred to as a threesome as a joke, which is all well and good until someone is reading over ilya's shoulder one day and sees shane send the message, "today has fucking sucked. can we have a threesome when you get home, please?" and is just ???? hello???? what?? the fuck??? are y'all just out here casually having threesomes on a tuesday??? that hollander asks for wiTH A PLEASE??? WHO IS INVOLVED ONTHIS THREESOME FOR IT TO BE HAPPENING ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE????

[penandinkprincess]

not helping this is that ilya responds with, "yes of course ♥️. do you think your mistress can take care of you in the meantime? just this once she can have you to herself."

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

[penandinkprincess]

this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

shane receives five more weighted blankets.

[jager-bruder]

[queen-scribbles]

[arium-bee]

IWTV but its New Girl quotes (i spent so long editing this i can still hear louis’ meow echoing in my head)

[dailyhudsonwilliams]

New clips of Hudson behind the scenes for Wonderland Magazine (via hudsonwupdates)

[fishmechs]

[furryprovocateur]

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

[furryprovocateur]

there is no acceptable explanation for this post being given a mature content warning outside of saying that you are an adult baby on the cyber nanny website!

[punkrock-bottom]

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

[notahungrywish]

Guys how long do you think it takes for Ilya to do the very out of character, clearly someone else’s voice coming out of his mouth, self-deprecating thing in front of the Hollander parents.

He’s going to say “well, you know how lazy I am, haha”. And he’s going to get hit with a nuclear fucking missile when they not only are confused and unhappy in their disagreement. But fully pull a “why would you think that Ilya??” Concerned parent thing.

David frowns and say now, I don’t think that’s true son. Unless you’re saying you’re faster than me at puzzles without even trying haha :)

Yuna says oh but you’re so hardworking! Look at you with your rookies you train up and with the way you’ve turned the centaurs around! That’s why coaches like you so much :)

Ilya is fighting for his life while Shane just leaves him to struggle with the weight of all this while he loads the dishwasher because he’s been trying to win this argument for ages and now has backup.

Edit: I just had a vision of one of them sarcastically saying “you should be ashamed of yourself!” about something minor Ilya did wrong in a game and him very seriously apologizing and saying “I am ashamed, Yuna/David” the exact same way he does with his dad. Not quite making eye contact, same posture from when they first met. And they have to have thoughts and feelings about it. They’re horrified and all “nooo, honey wtf” and he just doesn’t get why it’s a big deal. So now you can all experience that vision too.

[penandinkprincess]

okay but i'm feeling very soft about the idea of yuna taking over managing ilya's career like she does shane's because i'm also thinking about how ilya was always expected to be SILENT when his father was speaking to someone on his behalf, and i feel like his kneejerk reaction, then, when they're at an event and yuna goes "ilya, honey, come over here, i want to introduce you to [big potential sponsorship]" would be to introduce himself and then stay quiet and let her talk. he wouldn't be miserable like when his father would do it, but he literally spent his whole career going "okay, important things about me are being discussed. i have to not contribute now."

and i'm then imagining him being a little startled the first time yuna turns to him and includes him in the discussion on purpose because...oh? you want?? him to speak up here, too??? o-okay. and oh, this is kind of nice, actually, being a team with yuna. she's taking the lead here, but ilya is charming on his own, so they're REALLY doing a great job here, and it's actually kind of?? fun?? picking up the conversational pitches she's tossing to him?? and seeing her be so pleased when he hits them exactly how she wants?? and sets her up for another good move in the conversation?? oh my god?? this feels so nice?? she's clearly so proud of me?? i'm clearly doing a good job by her standards and she's pleased??? i'm having a great time with my mom??? #mymom

and afterwards, i feel like yuna might pull him to a quiet corner or something and just, "you were a little quiet at the start. are you not interested or something? it's okay if you're not." because she's used to having to get answers from shane that way, but ilya is just no! sounds great! thank you. :) anyone else you want to talk to here? :)

ilya just finally having someone who both cares about his career AND about him at the same time.

[sweetsnaps]