Recovering

Depression sucks. Ask me stuff, it gets lonely. (she/her) (trigger warning) (i dont promote mental illness)

[northernwinedregs]

Hi brain, you obstinate fucker. I drank the clear splashy stuff. I ate the green things. I went under that bright fucker up there. I did the thing with the moving and sweating and whatnot. Now make the happy chemical, you lump of fuck.

[anexperimentinkindness]

sometimes i feel like i’m sick, not because of the trauma or the sick or the hurt but because i miss every single part of it

[heartbreakclubs]

trauma 5/?

[psychwarded]

[hatefulfire]

I want you down on your knees, admitting everything you ever did to me and begging for forgiveness, throwing your dignity and pride away and crawling at my feet, crying how sorry you are, how wrong you were, how much it hurts to know you hurt me.

And I’ll never forgive you. (via hatefulfire)

[marisatomay]

me: if youre dead you dont have to do homework or get stressed over school so it would eliminate anxiety

my therapist:

[youngqueerwitch]

I think, I think one of the worst things about realizing you’ve been abused is the actual realization. Slowly learning what’s normal and what isn’t. Having it smack you in the face that “oh god that wasn’t normal that’s not normal all” and it’s just this horrifying realization

And it gets worse. You remember more trauma. You remember more of the hell they put you through. You wonder how they still think they did nothing wrong?

You doubt. You refuse to doubt. You panic. You become this mess of “is this real” and “I know this is real” and “I don’t want this to be real”

[hatefulfire]

I want you down on your knees, admitting everything you ever did to me and begging for forgiveness, throwing your dignity and pride away and crawling at my feet, crying how sorry you are, how wrong you were, how much it hurts to know you hurt me.

And I’ll never forgive you. (via hatefulfire)

[chamomile-bpd]

hey if you’re reading this, you have my full sympathy and i hate your abuser, fuck them

[anexperimentinkindness]

a memory

[threebabies]

No. You don’t understand. Just because they aren’t hurting me anymore doesn’t mean it’s over. It still hurts. I still hurt. My bones are aching and my heart is breaking and it isn’t a poem anymore. I am in excrutiating pain every. single. day. because in my head the people are still hurting me. In my head I have to run and run and run until my lungs shrivel up and my legs are numb.

It isn’t over. It hurts.

[kaerlighedsbrev-deactivated2020]

are you an “avoid all triggers” victim or a “hyper-expose yourself to your trauma(s)” victim

[anexperimentinkindness]

hyper-expose

[insteadofdisappearing]

if there is anything you learn from me, let it be this: there is no statute of limitations on healing. there is no expiration date on the ache that won’t stop following you around no matter who tells you there is. i do not mean to hurt you when i tell you this; your kiss with trauma or the nights you spent with death, these things are not going to leave you as quickly as you wish they would. it hurt and it’s going to keep hurting. do not forgive and forget. do not bury this and believe it is leaving. it isn’t going to leave you as suddenly as it came so stop trying to pretend it is. cry if you still need to. breathe if you still can. do not be angry at yourself for hurting still. do not be angry at yourself for hurting still. do not be angry at yourself for hurting still.

On Healing, Sarah Kate Osborn (to follow On Grief)

[9940km-deactivated20150516]

Never forget 3 types of people in your life:

Who helped you in your difficult times.

Who left you in your difficult times.

Who put you in difficult times.

[anexperimentinkindness]

or people who are all three...

[shoppingstars]

things i hate about bpd

- your mood is not the only thing that will change in one sec, your decisions will too.

- the pain you feel in your chest whenever you are thinking or feeling something too much.

- the ability to show physical symptoms to every thing you feel too intensely.

- you hate to be alone, but at the same time you’re isolating from all of your friends.

- suddenly you just get tired of someone you love a lot.

- but now you’re not tired of them anymore and you need them to live and how can you stay away from them for just one second? impossible.

- you just don’t understand how there’s so much anger in you.

- headaches.

- stomach ache.

- the world is not real sometimes.

- feeling like you will lose control and getting suffocated by it.

- seeing a knife and thinking about cutting, seeing a bridge and thinking about jumping, seeing a car and thinking about being run over.

- feeling intensely two things at the same time.

[anexperimentinkindness]

Someone: Wow you're so easy to talk to! I feel like our personalities fit so well together!

Me: thanks i made this one special just for you

[kaidenmarcus]

i loved you through the lies through the broken promises through the fights through MY mental illness through YOUR mental illness through fucking everything i still do but you you couldnt love me enough to stay

this isnt pretty (via bellnic49)