Salt the earth with my blood

[he/they] no gender Fun Fact curator and Pagan Heretic Terfs can go get lost in the swamp and die [it/its]

[balestrate]

Them: you better not be a cunty concrete column when I get home

Me:

[sistertaxon]

ladies the dobbys grave thing is fake news that the beeb fell for 😭 its made up by a podcast guy.. rowling is evil and people gotta let those books go but don't get mad and psych yourself out over straight up nothing

[synapsid-taxonomy]

We gotta start posting more non-mammalian synapsids on this site. I'll start. Edaphosaurus be upon ye

[sukunekatano]

I'll take any excuse to show off Lystrosaurus! The goober who survived the apocalypse.

[derived-centrosaur]

Dicynodonts, my beloveds!

Ischigualastia be upon y'all

Photo by Kentaro Ohno via Wikipedia

[despazito]

suburban walk vent art

[girlnephew]

like the idea of unnaturally aged cheese. making my gouda old using dread magics forbidden by the college of sorcery

[abalidoth]

this cheese was aged by sending it to the beach that makes you old

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat]

whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen

[luimnigh]

Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.

[yomikoreadsbooks]

Ladies, let’s not fight- we can have more than one friend after all…

[grungixfungix]

Devastated that rbs were turned off. I need this on my blog.

[sachermorte]

eternally painful that you can't socialize without people expecting you to talk. sometimes I just want to be around. like a cat

[fireladyazula]

underrated atla scenes: [1/?]

[amazoogle]

hey Kickstarter my project is i want to send a MRI machine back to caveman times to heal them #HealAllCavemen

[movietonight]

dialogue between Spike and Giles where it becomes increasingly clear to them that they were once at the same concert

[damagecontrolstyleaggression]

Backstage, Giles fucked the guitarist and Spike ate the singer

[movietonight]

@professorlehnsherr-almashy

it dawning on them they fucked was 100% what I was going for but this happening in the 90s is the funniest version of this anyone has come up with so far

[tlirsgender]

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

[tlirsgender]

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

[tlirsgender]

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

[tlirsgender]

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

[tlirsgender]

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[tlirsgender]

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[veradraven]

ALISON BRIE as EVIL-LYN Masters of the Universe (2026), dir. Travis Knight

[thydungeongal]

Me: Yeah so I've started a new sport, I got my first tattoo, I like the way I look and there's a lot for me to look forward to. It feels like since I started transitioning I've achieved more than in all the nearly forty years before put together.

Shadow the Hedgehog: Interesting. It's as if you've been wearing limiters this whole time and you realizing you wanted to live as a woman was what broke the limiters.

Me: Yeah, it's a lot like that.

Shadow the Hedgehog: Hmmm... tell me about this "estrogen."

Me: This is why I fuck with you Shadow

[vixensdungeon]

“You should let a natural 20 always succeed on ability checks, because why would you have them roll if there’s no chance to roll high enough?” This is a piece of D&D advice I see a lot, and on the surface it seems to make sense, right? Like why would you have someone roll with their +5 bonus if they need a 26 to succeed?

But then you remember the Great Secret of D&D 5th Edition, the enlightenment not all have reached: the DM deserves to be treated with respect and dignity, and it’s not their goshdang job to know what all your stats are.

[ninjacat64]

Also, having a 1/20 chance to succeed what whatever you are doing, no matter how outlandish, is really funny

[vixensdungeon]

You do realise that this post is against letting ability checks auto-succeed on a nat 20, right?

[cavegirlpoems]

tumblr is a website known for its reading comprehension

[vixensdungeon]

#i do allow crits on attacks because if I create a situation where they can't hit any attack I've messed up as DM

I'd like to inform you that crits on attacks aren't something you need to really allow as such, as that's just in the rules.

[overfedvenison]

I've noticed a lot of players have confusion about this In most editions of D&D: - You auto-succeed on attack rolls and saving throws of a 20 - In some editions, you have to then roll again to succeed on a critical hit - Other checks do not auto-succeed on a 20. Some things are simply outside of your skill. - Natural 1s auto-fail on Attack Rolls and Saving Throws - This does not mean you then stab yourself or fumble off a cliff. That is a house rule. A natural 1 is a normal failure. - Natural 1s don't automatically fail skill checks in most editions. The worst work by a master carpenter is still a functional chair.

[segamascott]

[capacity2]

He’s so selfish. She’s generous enough to put food on the table but he cant give her some cake? All these men do is take take take