Angbang Ask

Exactly what it says on the tin. Icon by melkorwashere.

[ang-banging]

What do you think of updog?

I do not like dogs. Dogs are annoying and bitey. And not the good kind of bitey, like my wolves. The kind of bitey where they bite me, which is just not cool.

[ang-banging]

Do either of you have a skull collection?

Yes. We both do. Sometimes we gift each other skulls. Sometimes we create art with skulls. Heads are fun. Detached enemy heads are really fun.

[ang-banging]

Does Angbang like Squid Game?

Oh yes, we both love it. It gives us so many ideas.

[silmarilliongenerator]

when no one was looking, angband took forty cakes. they took 40 cakes. that’s as many as four tens. and that’s terrible.

when no one was looking, angband took forty cakes. they took 40 cakes. that’s as many as four tens. and that’s terrible.

— Silm Generator (@silm_generator) April 28, 2021

from Twitter https://twitter.com/silm_generator

[fantasychica37]

@ang-banging explain yourself!

[ang-banging]

This is our world, so everything belongs to us. Myself and Mairon. The Lords of Arda. And my Mairon has a sweet tooth. So I took the 40 cakes for him as a present. He was well pleased and rewarded me greatly. No regrets. I never regret.

[ang-banging]

I still think about the time I sent in anon asks as Manwe being like "Hi lets hang out!" (a la Tuor in that one alyruko drawing of Tuor & Maeglin) and then forgot to turn on anon on the last one and it still haunts me to this day

This mod has accidentally gone non-anon too and also has done other things she’s still embarrassed about today. She feels your pain. 

[ang-banging]

There is a subreddit called r/FuckManwe that the mod + audience of this blog may like

this mod isn’t on reddit very much, but thanks you.

[ang-banging]

Would Angbang watch the Super Bowl? My whole family likes to but I think football is boring

As a general rule, human sports are boring. But ones where humans injure each other for fun can be enjoyable. Mostly I like watching hockey, but I will watch football games that I’ve heard got violent. Some of those were Super Bowls I believe.

[ang-banging]

Would Melkor be jealous of Celebrimbor?

Melkor would probably be angry at first that I turned my attentions to someone else and forgot that he was in the Void. But Melkor knows that I am his. He’s always known that. 

Truthfully I was always the more jealous one. No one was allowed to even look at Melkor. And if Melkor looked at the shiny of someone else for a moment, my rage burned for months. Honestly my jealousy grew after he returned with the Silmarils because I always feared he would choose them over me. But then at the end of the whole Luthien incident, he proved to me that I came first. I was scared to return when I heard he’d lost a Silmaril because of my failure. But he found me. And his only concern was my wounds. There was no rage in the face of his fear of losing me. And then, at the end of the war, he chose to face the enemy alone, even knowing what they’d do, in order to save me. He proved his ultimate love for me. I had no reason for any jealousy I’d ever felt.

So to your question, I do not believe Melkor would be jealous, though he might be angry. I am his and he is mine. Whatever, whoever else there is, nothing will ever change that. I will remain ever his to the very end of the world. 

[ang-banging]

Aw so you have to tell Melkor everything you want him to do? Where's the fun in that?

That is everything fun. I get to plan everything in exact detail, I get to have things exactly how I want, and yet I still get to have Melkor take complete control and show me his absolute overwhelming power. And while not every idea works, most of the time when we’re through, I get the added bonus of Melkor praising my creativity and initiative. This is the absolute ideal world, and I am living it. It is the perfection that I deserve.

[ang-banging]

So i was listening to the new CDP song about Finrod and Sauron and I realized that one could use songs of power for other purposes, has Melkor ever done that to you?

Of course, but you’d be mistaken in thinking it was his idea. Melkor is very able and willing to do all the things to me, but he’s not necessarily the one with the new ideas. He’d be happy just doing the same things over and over again. I’m the one who has to suggest new things to try. Once I suggest them, he’s excited to try them, especially when I explain in explicit detail exactly how he should do them to and with me. But it was definitely my idea.

[ang-banging]

How have you been keeping busy during quarantine?

I for one have kept very busy because Melkor thinks the quarantine is just a suggestion for him. Just because as Ainur we are immune to disease doesn’t mean we can’t spread it to our forces. But Melkor acts on instinct and sees flouting rules, even good ones, as a thing of pride. So I keep having to come up with new ways to convince him to stay. I am very convincing, so it has worked so far. But it takes up far too much of my time that could be spent on far more important tasks. I love Melkor, but sometimes managing him is exhausting. What would he do without me?

[ang-banging]

What would you do if there was a sex tape leaked of you? What would you do if there was a sex tape leaked of Manwe?

What would I do? Sadly, this is no longer a mystery since this has already happened. Multiple times. The first time I was planning on painfully torturing and then killing the person who dared to watch Mairon and myself have sex and then revealed the exact details of this to the world until Gothmog took me aside to inform me that in fact it was Mairon who had released the details of our encounter.

I tried to subtly make it clear to him that I do not like others knowing about my sex life. When he did it again, I was more blunt. Yet he continues to reveal explicit details to the general public. He cannot help himself. Mairon’s very nature requires him to seek admiration by revealing every part of himself. And if I am revealed too in the process, well, he knows that I adore him too much to remain angry for long.

[ang-banging]

Can I bang your ang

You want to bang our fortress? That’s an interesting concept. I don’t think it is possible to have sex with Angband, but you are welcome to come here and try.

[ang-banging]

*pets*

*licks*

[ang-banging]

This blog was wonderful while it lasted

So, one of the mods is still around if people want to ask questions.

[ang-banging]

Which is a better present: spa day or dead elves?

Depends on the elf. You give us Feanor or any of his accursed descendants, you have given us the best gift possible. But spa days are among Mairon’s favorite things. Honestly, you give us a spa day, I’ll kill you, give it to Mairon, and pretend it was my idea all along. So better go with the dead elves.

[ang-banging]

*suddenly Mairon is an adorable evil three-year-old*

You do realize that three year old Ainur look the same. I was created as I am. I was as brilliant, gorgeous, and perfect when I began as I am now and always will be.