my inactive bastard main @angelasglasses - Tumblr Blog

smeyer: *writes relationships where children marry as soon as they’re 18*

smeyer: *writes relationships where children are groomed by older adults*

smeyer: *writes relationships where children are ~destined~ from infancy to enter a relationship w/ someone significantly older*

smeyer’s 3 children:

#oh SHIT

emmettmccartycullen

Why didn’t we get to see Edward joining Bella’s friend group!! Edward joining their lunch table for the first time ! Bella bringing him to go to Seattle with everyone !! Everyone at school has him on a pedestal and then he starts hanging out with them and he’s so awkward and he’s really quiet and suddenly everyone realizes that BELLA is actually the cool and confident one in their relationship !!

the-golden-onion

mike newton realizing that edward somehow has even weaker game than he does and yet bella STILL chose him

mrhankey

Now why didn’t awesome shit like this happen in the book? YOU HAD ONE JOB, STEPHENIE!

inthemiddleofmymidnight

idk all i’m saying is that if i wake up and see this mf staring at me from the corner of my room i’m calling the cops

flourescenteffervescence

I didn’t know this picture existed and now I’m 🥺🥰😭

universallypanned

Emmett Cullen: The Best Character In This Hell Series

(I know twilight vampires don’t have fangs but I figured we could have little a elongated canines as a treat)

movedtocarlislesscarf

ladies and gentlemen, I give you your triwizard champions!

bellaskhakis

thinking about her (the mushroom ravioli)

panlight

What bothers me about SM vampires is how indestructible they are from a human point of view. It reminds me a little of The Boys series from Amazon. How do you fight superheroes? Is it possible to develop some power strong enough while you are human? It is very scary.

It’s SO scary!

I remember during the initial Twilight craze and the pop-culture backlash against it people were all like “lololol sparkly pretty boy vampires, Buffy or whoever would destroy them in two seconds” and it’s like, as written? No, they wouldn’t. Buffy couldn’t stake Edward. Blade couldn’t kill him. The Twilight vampires are built so differently that humans are essentially helpless, which is horrifying on one hand, but also kind of frustrating from a fanfic standpoint because it’s so hard to put them in danger without involving other supernatural entities, other than “secrecy” concerns and that’s not an immediate danger so not as exciting.

The more you look outside of Bella’s sparkly romantic lens the more horrifying vampires are. Humans are helpless against them, they have razor sharp teeth (not just two tiny fangs), the whole concept of venom, which causes excruciating, torturous pain and leads to a three-day-long nightmare transformation. A thirst that’s painful, like a fire in your throat if you don’t put it out, and vegetarian vampires are always in some level of pain no mater how well fed they are (is that still a thing in Breaking Dawn? Bella doesn’t talk about it much. Does Renesmee feel the thirst-pain?). No sleep, so they can’t even escape the thirst for a few hours. You can definitely interpret it as pure horror and pretty bleak. Not to mention there’s no peaceful death available to them. No old age, or slowly slipping away from illness surrounded by loved ones. The only way to die is to be violently ripped apart and burned I mean YIKES.