Let’s Talk About Travis Aaron Wade
“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” -Edmund Burke
Today, I woke up to an Instagram post that Travis Aaron Wade made. The post detailed some of the more absurd and rude nicknames the “haters” of the fandom have been applying to him in recent times. Over the past year, I have seen this man take hate time and time again and rise above it each time. Right now, I want to talk about this. Since Tumblr is the only forum that I have to be as loquacious as I have a tendency to be and occasionally people read what I post, this is where I choose to discuss it.
I want to get a handful of things out of the way to start off. The last time I made a post like this was just over a year ago and I got reblogged with all sorts of interesting tags including “He paid her to make this post.” So, let’s dispel a couple things right here, right now. I am not a friend of Travis. I am not a defender of celebrities as a general rule, you won’t see me making some crazy “leave Brittany alone!!!” style video. No one is paying me to make this post (it would legitimately be a waste of anyone’s money to pay me for any content..just saying…) Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s move on.
As I said above, over the last year, I’ve seen Travis take a lot of hate. Some of it was super scary hate wherein he, his roommate, and his dogs were threatened. Some of it was juvenile, and some of it was aimed at damaging his career. For the life of me, I literally cannot figure out why people are doing things like this. Really, I’ve sat down and tried to figure it out and I just can’t get there. Personally, I haven’t been a perfect person. Last year (and I wrote a post about it further down) I thought and said some really uncharitable things about Travis. Long ago, I apologized for it. He accepted and life moved on. I searched myself and realized where my negative thoughts and words came from. They came from fear. No matter how I look at it though, I cannot look at this hate mongering of these “members” of the SPNFamily and call it all fear.
Here’s what I have understood from all of this. Some people really didn’t like Cole Trenton. We’ll just pause here and you can all absorb this. Some. People. Really. Didn’t. Like. Cole. Trenton. …? There’s a crapton of characters I don’t like on TV and in movies. Seriously, friends that have had to watch movies with me or TV shows can attest to the fact that I’ve been known to groan and say “Ugh…that guy” more than strictly necessary. I can understand feeling passionately about fictional characters. I cannot understand transferring those passionate feelings of hatred onto the actor that plays that character.
Let’s look at this reasonably: Cole Trenton was not a good guy. He was a deeply troubled character hellbent on revenge. He hit Sam with a hammer. That’s just uncivilized. Season 10 was like the season of the hammer. The props department just kind of looked around and was like “Know what we haven’t used before? Hammers. Let’s use those.” Seriously, I can absolutely understand not liking Cole Trenton. I don’t care how many times I have to say it, I totally get it. I didn’t like Cole either. We weren’t supposed to. However, it really made me dig Travis as an actor. For him to be such a kind-hearted man in real life and play this hyper-focused revenge machine on TV. That’s pretty awesome. Hate the character, don’t hate the actor.
The one thing that keeps coming back into my mind whenever I think about all this hate that just seems to keep coming from some dark corner of our fandom is that obviously these people have never spent any time talking to Travis. Now, I’m not claiming to know the guy. I talked to him for all of two minutes at a convention and it was pretty much just me monologuing. But, he was kind and patient in those couple minutes when I spoke to him. I’ve got a couple anecdotes I want to share and if you follow what I write, you’ve heard some of them already, but here we go anyway.
Travis runs a charity called Trut4h. They are all about fandom helping fandom. Last fall, they ran a tweet saying they were looking for people’s stories and that someone could win a gold pass to New Jersey Con. Immediately, I thought of my friend Jane and encouraged her to submit her story. If you’re even tangentially involved with the SPNFamily and AKF on Facebook, you know Auntie Jane. She is this amazing person who is made of love and kindness. Jane puts others first and wants to help everyone succeed. She submitted her story of involvement with AKF and happened to win the Gold Pass to NJCon through Trut4h. This story could just end there, right? They send her the tickets, she goes to con, everyone’s happy. It doesn’t end there, though. Travis went out of his way to find her Thursday night at pre-registration. He wanted to lay eyes on Auntie Jane and just let her know how special she is. He was so wonderful and kind to her during their photo op and karaoke and everything during NJCon. It was truly amazing. He went above and beyond and truly made her weekend something remarkable. She came back from con glowing with amazing stories of new friendships and experiences. One thing I for sure remember her telling me, though was “Travis is my hero.”
At SeaCon last month, during Travis’ panel, he was like con Santa. He wanted to highlight people who had done good for the community and were helping make a positive change in the world. A panel, that in essence is completely about him, and he wanted to shine the light on others. One of the things that absolutely floored me was that he called on Auntie Jane and gave her a special gift. He remembered her and was so excited to see her again. It was truly touching. So many of us work so hard to help others and we just don’t care if people notice or not. Jane is one of those people. To see her good work illuminated for others to see…well, he didn’t have to do that, did he?
During that same panel, there was a girl that was really anxious to ask a question. She was kind of panicking a bit. Instead of skipping her question, hurrying her along, or pretending there wasn’t an issue, Travis chose to help her through her anxiety. He helped her breathe through what was scaring her and showed so much patience and empathy.
Getting an autograph from Travis was a surreal experience. I feel like if I don’t keep telling the story it’s going to just disappear like it never happened. I was so scared to talk to him. For eight months, I had been working towards standing in front of him just to say “thank you.” He was so patient and so kind towards me. He helped me calm down enough to get the words out and when I almost started crying, he hugged me until I was ready to let go.
There’s a point I’m trying to make here. Really, I’d like to put in in bold letters and capitals and shout it so the people in the back can hear. However, I can’t decide how much dignity is involved in excessive formatting. Here’s the point, though:
Travis Aaron Wade owes us absolutely fucking nothing.
Can we all just take a second and let that sink in? Travis owes us absolutely fucking nothing. He does not owe us an explanation for his mustache or his hair. He does not owe us the selection of likable characters. He does not owe us his time or attention. He. Owes. Us. Nothing.
He’s just a guy trying to live his life. His life being in the spotlight doesn’t mean a damn thing. It does not mean that you get to call him whatever nasty name you want. It does not mean that you get to threaten him or try to petition Creation to remove him from conventions. It does not mean that you get any damn say in what he does with his time.
More for you to absorb:
Though he owes us absolutely nothing, Travis gives us everything. He gives us a charity that’s designed to help all of us. He gives us inspiration. He challenges us to be better, stronger, more. He believes in all of us. For a man that shines so god damn brightly on his own, he chooses to live his life as a mirror reflecting the good in others.
None of us are perfect. I’m not going to stand here and preach the Gospel of Travis and tell you he’s some kind of saint because I legitimately don’t know. I have a normal fan-level knowledge of him as a person. What I know of him, I like. He has been nothing but kind and wonderful to myself and my friends. I am grateful to have met him. I am grateful that he keeps fighting through all this bull shit and shining as brightly as ever.
One last thing to say and then I’ll get off my soapbox. Please, remember that Travis is a former Marine. Remember that this comes with its own set of struggles. If we can be gentle and patient with Jared, we can do the same with Travis. This fandom is a family and families protect their own. I can’t say I expect better from everyone because I know that everyone isn’t in on causing problems. Also, I know we’re all only human. I’m just asking for people to be a little less awful. The world is hard enough. Don’t beat down the people who want you to succeed. You’re not only trying to kill a shining light, you’re ruining a good thing for everyone.
Show love, be love. We can all make a difference. Even a tiny one.
