SideBlog For Mythical Stuff

[momowho34]

So I just read Song of Songs, a book supposedly written by Solomon and a book that is part of both jewish canon and most versions of Christian canon. It’s a love poem that’s supposed to be an allegory for the Israelites relationship with god and the temple. I read it. It’s not really long, but it is read. Oh boy. And. And I. And I have. And I have some... I have some Thoughts. Many Thoughts.

Firstly, some parts of this poem are really genuinely sweet!

[Captions: three verses from Song of Songs. The first one says “Let me be a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand. For love is as fierce as death, passion is mighty as Sheol; it’s darts are darts of fire, a blazing flame.” The second verse reads “Who is she that shines through like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, radiant as the sun, awesome as bannered hosts.” The final and third verse says “You have captured my heart, my own, my bride, you have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one coil of your necklace.”]

And like, that’s pretty neat! A lot of parts are actually beautiful, but the thing about this song is that as poetic as it is, it is also unmistakably, undeniably horny. Like really, really horny.

[two verses from Song of Songs. The first says “Sweetness drops from your lips, O bride; Honey and milk are under your tongue, and the scent of your robes is like the scent of Lebanon.” The second verse says “Awake, O north wind, come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, that it’s perfume may spread. Let my beloved come to his garden and enjoy it’s luscious fruits.”]

And that is.... weird. Idk why Solomon likes Lebanon so much. But like fr, this is like, new levels of sexual innuendo that I just... I wish I could include more, but what really caught my eye was verses like this:

(btw the third and fourth verses are right next to eachother in that order)

[Five verses from the Song of Solomon. The first one says “His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of fine gold. He is majestic as Lebanon, stately as the cedars.” The second one says “His cheeks are like beds of spices, banks of perfume. His lips are like lilies; they drip flowing myrrh.” The third one says “if only it could be as with a brother, as if you had nursed at my mothers breast: then I could kiss you when I met you in the street, and nobody would despise me.” The fourth verse says “I would bring you, I would lead you to the house of my mother, of her who taught me — I would let you drink of the spiced wine, of my pomegranate juice.” The fifth and final verse says “his left hand was under my head, his right hand caressed me.”]

HEY SO QUICK QUESTION SOLOMON

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE 156% FUCK? WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUCK!

I will inform you that these are supposedly written from the perspective of a woman but they are still supposedly written by King Solomon himself!

I am not paraphrasing. This is the canon text. This is the most homoerotic thing I have ever read and it is in the Bible! I CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE THIS!

oh my god he just- he- h-

SOLOMON YOU FUCKING GENIUS! YOUR HOMOEROTIC POEMS MADE IT INTO THE BIBLE! I APPLAUD YOU SIR!

I APPLAUD YOU!

[momowho34]

Okay but actually King Solomon was a better king then David was.

Alright fuckers here’s the deal: All anybody knows about Solomon is that he was wise or something and that bit about cutting a baby in half, but let me tell you, he is soooo much more then that. (Btw I’m only talking abt what we know from like Kings and stuff. nobody knows if any of this is real but the story is super fucking interesting so that’s what I’m talking about)

One thing I really like about Solomon is that he genuinely seems to care abt his people and bettering the world for them (that’s why he asks god for “wisdom to govern my people with” when asked rather then like riches and stuff) and it may be more boring then David’s war laden reign, but Solomons reign was generally really fucking peaceful and prosperous. Solomon went “hmmm... less stabby sticks and more international trade” and his kingdom was so much better for it. This guy deserves some more credit okay? Like he did make people build the temple but I don’t think u understand how important and useful a centralized temple society is to a generally pretty divided kingdom. Like that’s a piece of infrastructure that helped the kingdom of Israel (and later the kingdom of Judah too) stay in one piece a little better and generally aided both the people’s well-being and the crown. And the temple society lasted for centuries! It was actually a pretty smart political move on his part. He’s boring because he’s mostly peaceful (in the aspect of war at least because when it comes to inner politics ho-boy is he a bit much) but that’s what makes him so important!!!

And yes, David was more down to earth, that’s fairly objective at this point, Solomon never danced with his people. But being friendly with commoners doesn’t necessarily mean you know what you’re doing in terms of like... actually governing large swaths of land and territory? Sometimes good intentions just aren’t enough, being a king is really fucking hard! Like there was not a single moment of peace in David’s reign, it just went from war to war to to famine to war to and like sorry to break it to you, but fucking duh! Of course it did that! David’s a great warrior, but his bureaucracy skills were lacking and he has massive issues with foresight that really fucked with his governing abilities. Solomon sat in a chair every fucking day so he could listen and consider the people in his kingdom with problems and hopefully solve them. I just. If anything, Solomon deserves more credit, and listen, it’s not Solomon’s fucking fault that Israel decided to dissolve into chaos like three days after he died!

Solomon lives through Absolam’s rebellion (which is some particularly messed up shit and if u don’t know why look it up I don’t have time to unpack all of that fucking mess right now), watched his brother get murdered (he deserved it but still) in front of him by his other brother, the subsequent exile of his fathers court, all of the famines that David caused and Joab’s betrayal. And because of all of that he decided that no, his reign was gonna be about peace, his people weren’t gonna suffer through pointless war like that. Solomon managed to ally with a lot of important rulers whenever he got the chance (the Queen of Sheba and Hiram) , and not only did that boost trade by a fuck ton, it also meant that other kingdoms were less likely to fuck with him. The kingdom of Israel thrived through his reign, at least more then it did under David’s. Granted, he was working under better circumstances, but David managed to establish a semi solid foundation and then proceeded to fuck it up every chance he got. I love David, he’s a fascinating and conflicted character but like... cmon man. Do better.

And if we’re talking morality rather then kingship? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. Solomon was honestly not that bad, all things considered. At the very least, he didn’t spy on naked common women, impregnate them even though he already had six wives, murder her fucking husband, and then cause said woman to have a miscarriage with her first child and then impregnate her right afterwards, David, and that’s not even getting into whether King David’s tryst with Batsheba was even consensual, that is another fucking can of worms that I honestly do not have the time or energy to unpack rn. Like tell me if I read this wrong but I’m pretty sure Solomon gets ridiculously rich is because god explicitly blessed him so that he would be mega super duper rich. And yeah, he let himself go when he was old, but he didn’t like start a war or murder anyone, he just bought too many horses and was “tempted by foreign women” which, btw, what the fuck even?

If you need more reason to like Solomon and think he’s too boring, there are countless legends saying that he was, and I shit you not, the first human to summon a demon and command them with a summoning circle. Some stories say he got dunked on by a demon one time or that he regularly consulted Asmodeus himself (Ashmedai in Hebrew) for casual advice. He wrote Ecclesiastes, a book of nihilistic philosophy that fucking slaps, Proverbs, and Song of Songs (Shir Hashirim) which is absolutely fucking bonkers!!!! It’s really horny and kinda sweet but..... ??????? WHY IS SOMETHING SO HORNY IN THE CANON TANAKH AND CHRISTIAN BIBLE? SOLOMON I WOULD LIKE A WORD-

[momowho34]

So I just read Song of Songs, a book supposedly written by Solomon and a book that is part of both jewish canon and most versions of Christian canon. It’s a love poem that’s supposed to be an allegory for the Israelites relationship with god and the temple. I read it. It’s not really long, but it is read. Oh boy. And. And I. And I have. And I have some... I have some Thoughts. Many Thoughts.

Firstly, some parts of this poem are really genuinely sweet!

[Captions: three verses from Song of Songs. The first one says “Let me be a seal upon your heart, like the seal upon your hand. For love is as fierce as death, passion is mighty as Sheol; it’s darts are darts of fire, a blazing flame.” The second verse reads “Who is she that shines through like the dawn, beautiful as the moon, radiant as the sun, awesome as bannered hosts.” The final and third verse says “You have captured my heart, my own, my bride, you have captured my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one coil of your necklace.”]

And like, that’s pretty neat! A lot of parts are actually beautiful, but the thing about this song is that as poetic as it is, it is also unmistakably, undeniably horny. Like really, really horny.

[two verses from Song of Songs. The first says “Sweetness drops from your lips, O bride; Honey and milk are under your tongue, and the scent of your robes is like the scent of Lebanon.” The second verse says “Awake, O north wind, come, O south wind! Blow upon my garden, that it’s perfume may spread. Let my beloved come to his garden and enjoy it’s luscious fruits.”]

And that is.... weird. Idk why Solomon likes Lebanon so much. But like fr, this is like, new levels of sexual innuendo that I just... I wish I could include more, but what really caught my eye was verses like this:

(btw the third and fourth verses are right next to eachother in that order)

[Five verses from the Song of Solomon. The first one says “His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of fine gold. He is majestic as Lebanon, stately as the cedars.” The second one says “His cheeks are like beds of spices, banks of perfume. His lips are like lilies; they drip flowing myrrh.” The third one says “if only it could be as with a brother, as if you had nursed at my mothers breast: then I could kiss you when I met you in the street, and nobody would despise me.” The fourth verse says “I would bring you, I would lead you to the house of my mother, of her who taught me — I would let you drink of the spiced wine, of my pomegranate juice.” The fifth and final verse says “his left hand was under my head, his right hand caressed me.”]

HEY SO QUICK QUESTION SOLOMON

WHAT THE ABSOLUTE 156% FUCK? WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUCK!

I will inform you that these are supposedly written from the perspective of a woman but they are still supposedly written by King Solomon himself!

I am not paraphrasing. This is the canon text. This is the most homoerotic thing I have ever read and it is in the Bible! I CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE THIS!

oh my god he just- he- h-

SOLOMON YOU FUCKING GENIUS! YOUR HOMOEROTIC POEMS MADE IT INTO THE BIBLE! I APPLAUD YOU SIR!

I APPLAUD YOU!

[teaboot]

Fucking love hardcore evangelical Catholics. Love that that they're always so horny and angry about it. "You must suffer to earn Forgiveness! Find ecstasy through submission to the Holy Father!" Bestie there's a fetish for that

[teaboot]

Like, putting aside the theological aspects, I find it genuinely fascinating that despite the surface-level absurdity in intentionally seeking out suffering, there are psychological rewards to be found in submissive masochism, so much so that one of the most destructive and tenacious spiritual societies in the world hinges on it.

Like... someone tells you to punch yourself in the face, and not only do you do it, but it makes you happy, and you tell your friends how great it is. Wild

[headspace-hotel]

Part of it is probably just like, brain chemicals doing their thing. It's an essay for another time but a lot of religious traditions and subcultures in general utilize what are essentially altered states of consciousness associated with pain, extreme stimuli, or dangerous/extreme activities. It's not necessarily bad or weird or barbaric or whatever, it just...tilts your brain like 5 degrees to the left. In my own experience, intense workouts can make you experience a "high" where you feel euphoric and really emotional for some reason.

When you think about it, it's probably not a coincidence that the major characteristics of an entire category of Weird Holy Men In The Desert, were "having strange transcendent spiritual experiences" and "self-mortification."

But I've read a lot of cursed material from the medieval period and there's definitely some kind of connection between coercive, punishment-centered structures that are really really anxious about sexuality, and uh. People getting horny about punishment.

[dirthymns]

the thing folks living in Christian dominant cultures gotta realize is that even if you’re not Christian, your basic understanding of religion and spirituality and morality is still being filtered through a Christian lens. your very concept of what religion is and does is filtered through that lens.

[evilwickedme]

This is what I call cultural Christianity, for those who are still confused

[hissorikos-menagerie]

“But everyone celebrates christmas.” No. No we don’t.

[queertillyarchive]

“Religion is based on complete blind submission and not asking any questions ever”

No. That’s Christianity.

“Religion is totally focused on the afterlife and getting into heaven and avoiding hell”

Nope. Christianity again.

“Religion is about pushing your beliefs on others and trying to get them to convert”

Still Christianity.

[bai-xue-lives]

Actually that’s even more specific - that’s Calvinism, which predominates in America. America isn’t just culturally Christian,it’s culturally Calvinist, which very specifically focuses on submission, the fear of damnation, and conversion. It’s also not just any old Calvinism, but a very rigidly puritanical variety thanks to our roots.

There are other culturally Christian countries, which are of other denominations and therefore have a slightly different bent. England is culturally Anglican, Germany is culturally Lutheran, Italy and Spain are culturally Catholic, Russia is culturally Orthodox, etc. However, even the cultural Catholicism of Italy is different from, say, the cultural Catholicism of Ireland.

So even here, we need to be careful not to filter other cultures’ Christianities through what is a very Americanized (via @queertilly) Christianity, and vice versa with other countries. Speaking as an American, even our concept of what Christianity is has been Americanised.

[damnfool-of-a-took]

^^^ that

[askadventuresoftheflies]

Question: what if you’re Jewish in America and don’t see religion through any of the lenses you’ve mentioned? Are there other false beliefs one can get through the dominant culture here?

[beeceit-deactivatingsoon-deacti]

Oh, definitely. I can’t think of any off the top of my head, though

[sublimepaperfury]

Picture a wedding. Any wedding even in a fantasy context. Let me guess, you’re picturing a woman in a veil and a white gown, some guy in robes officiating, and it’s probably taking place in a church-like building, right? Christian culture is pervasive like that.

[hugaddicted]

I once gave a lecture about “rituals”, and I asked the people who were attending how a marriage looks like in their culture. An adult woman answered “the bride always wears a white dress”. So I asked her which culture she was talking about. She kept insisting that that was the case in every culture, “even with atheists like me”, and that it wasn’t culturally Christian. Luckily there were several Muslims in the group that told her that that’s often not the case at Muslim weddings.

[terulakimban]

Other examples of “things we internalize” -I’m going to stick with religious ones: 

What’s today’s date? The Gregorian calendar is fundamentally Christian; it was introduced by Pope Gregory XIII as a reform to the previously-used Julian calendar (itself only in use today in Christian contexts). 

What does someone mean when they say “The Bible”? 

If you have the phrase “Old Testament” in there at all, congrats, that’s cultural Christianity in play. That phrase isn’t one that makes sense to us, given that we don’t believe there is a New Testament -the OT is also, historically, not the Tanach. 

When is New Year’s? 

The classical Jewish response to that would be “which one” -we’ve got four of our own. Other cultural new years take place around the year.

What does a religious service look like? 

What do people look like when they’re praying on their own? 

If your mental image here is someone kneeling, hands together… Christianity again. 

Do you find the concept of being culturally a member of a religion you don’t, as far as you can tell, practice or believe in, weird?

Yeah, that’s Christianity again -specifically because of its ubiquity. “Oh, I’m not Christian; I just do big family dinners on Christmas and Easter” is Christian, but somehow requires less explaining to most people than “I’m not religiously Jewish, but I still celebrate the Jewish holidays.”

Is there fundamentally a good-evil dichotomy? That’s another one that’s not really a classical Jewish approach. 

What does repentance/atonement entail -and what requires it? 

There’s a lot of stuff like this. In many cases, it’s about “what is the first mental image that comes to mind.”

[sorekbekarmi-deactivated2022051]

What does the word “religion” mean to you? Is it defined by faith, belief, trust, commonality, culture, tradition, deity, lack of a deity, peoplehood, way of life? Is it defined by biblical literalism, by orthodoxy, by anti-science, by an implicit superiority? Is it all those things in equal measure, or are some more important? What is the opposite of religion? Do you assume that your definition is universal and applicable to others?

Do your ideas and concepts about religion exist in English, or do they only really exist in another language?

What is the honorable and good way to bury someone who has died, and to mourn their passing? What is the language of death? What makes a death good or bad? How is the body treated? What are the ritual, sacred, cultural, practical, ethical traditions around death?

What are the legal particulars that evolved into the marriage ceremony you imagine as the default? How is that marriage celebrated? What IS marriage, and who has authority over it?

How does someone come into this world? How is their coming celebrated, before and after the actual birth? How is their name chosen? What names are off limits? How many names do they get? When are the names used? What do they mean? How do they honor family?How do they become a part of the community?

As someone ages, how will they pass through meaningful, institutionalized rites of passage? When are they responsible? When are they an adult?

What is the relationship between humanity and nature? The relationship between humanity and the earth? What is our position in the natural world? What rights do we have or not have, what duties do we have or not have?

What is your view about the occult? Your concept of angels, demons, and the devil? What do magic, divination, and astrology look like to you?

What ubiquitous symbols exist in your culture? What phrases and idioms do you use to convey meaning beyond the explicit? Do you use these without thinking about their origin?

How is the year celebrated? What seasons are given special honor, and why? What themes are strong enough to provoke holidays and observances? What ARE those holidays and observances? What holidays do you consider “religious,” “secular,” or “national?” How do you observe them? What rights do you feel you have around them - do you have the right not to work on certain days, and why those days? Do you have the right to celebrate them publically, even in a government supposedly separated from religion, and what gives you that right?

What IS prayer? How does one do it? Does it matter or make a difference? What is it’s intention?

How much do you know about the culture, beliefs, history, traditions, and oppressions of different religious groups? How much do you know about your own group, or the dominant group in your country?

Looking at the entire list, do you expect other people to have similar answers as you? Why?

[gliklofhameln]

I have always felt that God was very frugal, very stingy in bestowing gifts on us. He didn’t give us enough intellect, enough physical strength, but when He came to emotions, to passions, He was very lavish. He gave us so many emotions and such strong ones that every human being, even if he is an idiot, is a millionaire in emotions.

    — Isaac Bashevis Singer, as quoted in Conversations with Isaac Bashevis Singer, Isaac Bashevis Singer and Richard Burgin

[hats-off-to-hermes]

Angel Work Series Masterpost

Here are the posts I've written about angel work.

Classical Angel Magic Starterpack

Angel Work - Prayer Sachets

Angel Work - Prayer Sachet Recipes

Angel Altar Inspiration

Angelic Magic Society Discord Server

Angel Work - Do we give angels offerings?

Online Resources About Angels

Coming soon:

Angel Work - Why do it?

Angel Work - Angelic Protection Oil

Angel Work - Angelic Blessings Oil

Angel Work - Simple Angel Talismans

What other posts would you like to see?

[strangesigils]

“Life Will Still Be Good”

Burn this sigil during hard times to ensure that despite the struggles, life will still be a good experience.

[strangesigils]

“Our Musical Abilities Are Strong”

Great sigil for bands. Try drawing this on your instruments or their cases. Or have every member draw this on their dominant arm during practice or performance. 

(if you draw it on your instruments send me a picture, I’d live to see and give you a shoutout)

[strangesigils]

“My Journey Is Quick And Safe”

Draw this sigil somewhere in your car, sew it somewhere in your luggage bag, or just keep a slip of paper with this symbol on you during your travels.

[strangesigils]

“I Stay Connected With My Deities And Familiars”

Keep this on your altar or on the wrist of your dominant hand

[strangesigils]

“My Wish Will Come True”

Draw this on a piece of paper, write your wish on the other side of that paper. Burn the paper.

Burn with a bay leaf as well if possible.

[strangesigils]

“I Consistently Say The Correct And Needed Thing”

Wear this sigil on you when your words may matter, preferably around the neck or Draw this sigil on a tube of lipstick or chapstick you wear

[strangesigils]

“Let No Evil Pass Through”

Draw this above an entrance (it could be a door, window, vent, etc.) or near the edge of a magic circle to block any inherently “evil” forces or beings from entering.

[strangesigils]

“Magic Flows Through Me”

Friendly reminder that if you get a tattoo of my work my only request is that you send a picture of it to me when it’s done

Draw this sigil on your solar plexus with henna or waterproof eyeliner to improve the flow of magic/energies within you

[strangesigils]

“The Witch Is Hidden”

I could have sworn I already made a post for this but I can’t find it in my link directory or in my tags anywhere so I must have missed it

Keep this sigil on your person or in the area where you hide all your witchcraft-related belongings

[strangesigils]

“I Cannot Be Deceived” 

Keep in mind there are many ways to use sigils in general, and if you prefer to use this sigil in a more simple manner you are free to do so. The procedure below is just how I would probably use this sigil.

Have a jar of water charge in the light of the full moon with this sigil beneath the jar. You can then use that water to rinse your glasses (if you use glasses) to see through lies. If you don’t use glasses you can anoint your third eye energy point with the water daily.