@angerrage - Tumblr Blog

stoneseasonsx-deactivated201511

I’m learning so many different ways to be quiet. There’s how I stand in the lawn, that’s one way. There’s also how I stand in the field across from the street, that’s another way because I’m farther from people and therefore more likely to be alone. There’s how I don’t answer the phone, and how I sometimes like to lie down on the floor in the kitchen and pretend I’m not home when people knock. There’s daytime silent when I stare, and a nighttime silent when I do things. There’s shower silent and bath silent and California silent and Kentucky silent and car silent and then there’s the silence that comes back, a million times bigger than me, sneaks into my bones and wails and wails and wails until I can’t be quiet anymore. That’s how this machine works.

Ada Limón, “The Quiet Machine” in Bright Dead Things (via pigmenting)

jakeperalta

A lover? Maybe. Something tender, anyway. But tender like a bruise.

(via sapta-loka)

dependent-boy

to anyone enduring a depressive episode: it’s ok. you’re not being lazy or selfish. your productivity doesn’t define or devalue you. you’re coping. you’re doing the best you can, and that’s ok!

gatheringbones

[“Teenagers are the most unloved group in our nation. Teenagers are often feared precisely because they are often exposing the hypocrisy of parents and of the world around them. And no group of teenagers is more feared than a pack of teenage boys. Emotionally abandoned by parents and by society as a whole, many boys are angry, but no one really cares about this anger unless it leads to violent behavior. If boys take their rage and sit in front of a computer all day, never speaking, never relating, no one cares. If boys take their rage to the mall, no one cares, as long as it is contained. In Lost Boys therapist James Garbarino testifies that when it comes to boys, “neglect is more common than abuse: more kids are emotionally abandoned than are directly attacked, physically or emotionally.” Emotional neglect lays the groundwork for the emotional numbing that helps boys feel better about being cut off. Eruptions of rage in boys are most often deemed normal, explained by the age-old justification for adolescent patriarchal mis-behavior, “Boys will be boys.” Patriarchy both creates the rage in boys and then contains it for later use, making it a resource to exploit later on as boys become men. As a national product, this rage can be garnered to further imperialism, hatred, and oppression of women and men globally. This rage is needed if boys are to become men willing to travel around the world to fight wars without ever demanding that other ways of solving conflict be found.”]

bell hooks, The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

perfectquote

“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just… start.”

— Ijeoma Umebinyuo

lionfloss

“Part of maintaining your energy is limiting other people’s access to it” - carajojo

art-and-fury

The Day - Victo Ngai

(others)

lydiamichelle

25 Things To Do Before You Turn 25 1. Make peace with your parents. Whether you finally recognize that they actually have your best interests in mind or you forgive them for being flawed human beings, you can’t happily enter adulthood with that familial brand of resentment. 2. Kiss someone you think is out of your league; kiss models and med students and entrepreneurs with part-time lives in Dubai and don’t worry about if they’re going to call you afterward. 3. Minimize your passivity. 4. Work a service job to gain some understanding of how tipping works, how to keep your cool around assholes, how a few kind words can change someone’s day. 5. Recognize freedom as a 5:30 a.m. trip to the diner with a bunch of strangers you’ve just met. 6. Try not to beat yourself up over having obtained a ‘useless’ Bachelor’s Degree. Debt is hell, and things didn’t pan out quite like you expected, but you did get to go to college, and having a degree isn’t the worst thing in the world to have. We will figure this mess out, I think, probably; the point is you’re not worth less just because there hasn’t been an immediate pay off for going to school. Be patient, work with what you have, and remember that a lot of us are in this together. 7. If you’re employed in any capacity, open a savings account. You never know when you might be unemployed or in desperate need of getting away for a few days. Even $10 a week is $520 more a year than you would’ve had otherwise. 8. Make a habit of going outside, enjoying the light, relearning your friends, forgetting the internet. 9. Go on a 4-day, brunch-fueled bender. 10. Start a relationship with your crush by telling them that you want them. Directly. Like, look them in the face and say it to them. Say, I want you. I want to be with you. 11. Learn to say ‘no’ — to yourself. Don’t keep wearing high heels if you hate them; don’t keep smoking if you’re disgusted by the way you smell the morning after; stop wasting entire days on your couch if you’re going to complain about missing the sun. 12. Take time to revisit the places that made you who you are: the apartment you grew up in, your middle school, your hometown. These places may or may not be here forever; you definitely won’t be. 13. Find a hobby that makes being alone feel lovely and empowering and like something to look forward to. 14. Think you know yourself until you meet someone better than you. 15. Forget who you are, what your priorities are, and how a person should be. 16. Identify your fears and instead of letting them dictate your every move, find and talk to people who have overcome them. Don’t settle for experiencing .000002% of what the world has to offer because you’re afraid of getting on a plane. 17. Make a habit of cleaning up and letting go. Just because it fit at one point doesn’t mean you need to keep it forever — whether ‘it’ is your favorite pair of pants or your ex. 18. Stop hating yourself. 19. Go out and watch that movie, read that book, listen to that band you already lied about watching, reading, listening to. 20. Take advantage of health insurance while you have it. 21. Make a habit of telling people how you feel, whether it means writing a gushing fan-girl email to someone whose work you love or telling your boss why you deserve a raise. 22. Date someone who says, “I love you” first. 23. Leave the country under the premise of “finding yourself.” This will be unsuccessful. Places do not change people. Instead, do a lot of solo drinking, read a lot of books, have sex in dirty hostels, and come home when you start to miss it. 24. Suck it up and buy a Macbook Pro. 25. Quit that job that’s making you miserable, end the relationship that makes you act like a lunatic, lose the friend whose sole purpose in life is making you feel like you’re perpetually on the verge of vomiting. You’re young, you’re resilient, there are other jobs and relationships and friends if you’re patient and open.

(via actuates)

pigmenting

Start by leaving home. It’s not where the heart is, but where the hard edge is. When ice begins to ebb from shoreline freeing mangy marsh grass, leave. And as you pick up speed, let your life arc out, away from you. Realize you don’t know where you’re going and the weather changes often. Steer between the stars like songbirds coming back at night. Listen to the whirring of a thousand, thousand miles of dark. Remember you are ancient, that once you walked out of the sea and in the trees became another thing. Know you can again. Become three kinds of lonely. Light a torch. Leave a trail of handprints on the walls. Or start by staying put. Be a whisper looking for a mouth: luna, luna, luna. Sit underneath the porch light. Eat walnuts and persimmons. Spread your red-edged wings. “Calling time” begins near midnight. Be hungry. Want.

Susan Elbe, "How to Fall in Love" (via pigmenting)