Still Mad

[angery-budgie]

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.

[reasonablywittyatbest]

It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.

I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.

I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.

[sunspotpony]

Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”

Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

important

In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."

[kontrapoetik]

see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets

[amnhnyc]

On this day in 1969, the Apollo 11 mission landed on the Moon. 🌙 And back on Earth, an estimated 600 million people watched this historic moment live on television—roughly one-fifth of the world’s population at that time! The mission had three crew members: Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Michael Collins. Collins piloted the craft that would return them to Earth, while Armstrong and Aldrin became the first two people ever to walk the Moon’s surface.

Photo: NASA Image and Video Library, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons

[hugdog]

neurotic

[hugdog]

He's figured it out

[divorcedwife]

💀💀💀 saw three very fashionable guys in what looked like dark, goth, androgynous fashion. i assumed they were fashion students, the kind who mixes issey miyake and thrift store finds and handmade pieces. that’s right, they were actually young catholic priests

[chernobyl2]

[tboy-trash]

straight men enduring 24/7 sexual assault each other in order to not be labeled faggots is honestly the best example of how masculinity operates. the other day before work a coworker fr shoved a finger in another coworker's ass (above pants) as one of their little "ha ha you're gay" jokes. fuck is wrong with them. equal parts disgusted and fascinated by their behaviour.

[tboy-trash]

of course these people are fucked up and unable to hold healthy relationships grounded in mutual respect! they're constantly assaulting and being assaulted by their friends just to Not Be Gay/Like A Girl!!!

[tboy-trash]

the biggest reason men refuse to recognize a lot of what they do to women as sexual harassment/assault is bc of their misogyny and wanting to maintain our power over women, 100%. BUT can i just point out that maybe a smaller but not-insignificant reason might also be that they can't even recognize sexual assault when other men do it to them???? i didn't tell that coworker bc he's an asshole, but i have had to tell other guys at work "hey what they're doing to you is terrible and you shouldn't have to put up with it you know" which most of them hadn't ever been told before because """""roughhousing""""" is part of that "boys will be boys" thing that makes everyone ignore our abuse

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Losing my mind

[sklarissa]

feel like you need to see the OP's other starter pack

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[herowyn]

5 0    Y E A R S    A G O

[closetocanada]

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

[kingdeath000]

day 1 oc creation: bad childhood, homosexuality

day 15: oral fixation

day 35: favorite color is blue

[house-of-mirrors]

Post about increasingly niche stuff that nobody follows you for and barely has a tumblr presence NOW

[house-of-mirrors]

That indie game no one else has played. That show from the 1980s that isn't big in the pop culture osmosis. Your deep dive into Tudor history. A liveblog of your experience learning C++. Your welding skills. Post all of it. This is your house

[headspace-hotel]

The closest experience I've ever had to discovering "the vitamin" was buying a 100% wool outfit and wearing it in the winter.

Not only was I not freezing anymore, I was not sweating and overheating either. The horrible sensory nightmare of winter clothes disappeared.

In particular, I bought a pair of wool pants. They were a thrifted pair of fancy dress pants like you would wear at an important office job, and they were easily the most comfortable pair of winter-appropriate pants i'd ever worn. I wore them Every Single Day.

From that point on I realized a lot of my clothes were making me feel bad, and the common thread was polyester. Especially polyester blends.

It's a trap because the polyester clothes are the ones that always feel sooooo silky soft when they are in the store, whereas cotton, linen and wool can feel comparatively rough and scratchy. But when actually wearing them for hours throughout the day, it's the natural fibers that feel more comfortable.

Maybe the secret to sensory comfort is not about the presence of softness, but the absence of overloading sensations. Or maybe the sensory stress and agony is not triggered by texture of the fabric, but by how it breathes and regulates temperature.

Then there's the problem of clothing life span: polyester blends, no matter how soft they seem at first, become rough and scratchy and covered in hard, itchy pills after wearing them 10 or 20 times, whether or not they have been tumble-dried or even washed at all. (I tested it!) Linen and cotton become softer and more comfy the more you wear them, polyester but ESPECIALLY polyester blends become a constant stressor. Polyester blend t-shirts I used to love for their softness now feel bristly and irritating.

So now I'm trying to change my wardrobe to as many natural fibers as possible, and the more natural fiber clothes i have the more I realize that the plastic fibers stress me out. It's so easy to overheat or freeze in them and they're always degrading and becoming less comfortable and it sucks.

[pyroteknich]

So this was mentioned in the notes (and I mentioned it there, too), but I know that sometimes those just don't get read. So here I will mention other natural fabrics.

Alpaca- my all time favorite. It is both warmer and lighter than wool, and if you have allergic reactions to wool, as I do, this is a great substitute. Alpaca socks are so great.

Cotton- the common fabric. Good for shirts, underthings, socks, pants, you name it. Good at wicking moisture and letting skin breathe, but can also be woven into warmer items such as sweaters. Good all around fabric. Can be strong and used for heavy duty clothing as well as delicate clothes.

Linen- the original warm weather fabric. The more it is washed, the softer it gets. Fabulous in the heat. Use it for bed sheets in the summer and you will never be hot in bed again. It can be used to make shirts, pants, shorts, and underthings.

Silk- great for warm and cool weather. Cool in the heat, warm in the cold, and beautiful no matter what. Can be made as a washable fabric, but usually hand wash or dry clean. Will wear like iron. If you treat it right, you can have silk for 20 years or more. Gloves, socks, underthings, shirts, pants, dresses, jackets, you name it.

Hemp- less well known but a great fabric. Resists mold like you would not believe! Used to make sails for sailing ships, as well as ropes during the age of sail. It was stronger than cotton when wet and would last longer due to the no molding thing. Less water intensive to grow than cotton, with many of the same properties of both linen and cotton. Can be used to make bed sheets, bath towels, shirts, underthings, pants, socks, pretty much anything.

Cashmere- Super luxurious! It is the shed hair of the Cashmere and pashmina goats. Usually made into sweaters, scarves, hats, gloves , and shawls. Super warm and soft. Hand wash or dry clean.

Angora- Also super luxurious. The shed fur of the angora rabbit. Can be used to make sweaters, hats, gloves, shawls, socks, and shawls. Warm, soft, and fluffy.

Mohair- The fur/hair from angora or mohair goats. Used to make sweaters, socks, gloves, hats, scarves, and shawls. Soft and warm.

There are also natural blends. These include (but are not limited to, and are not a complete list): cotton/wool, cotton/linen, cotton/silk, linen/silk, wool/silk, alpaca/wool, cashmere/wool, mohair/wool, etc.

Other natural fibers can include camel, yak, and other animal hair that is shed or clipped and then spun into yarn. Some are more available in certain areas of the world than others. I did not include bamboo due to the massive amount of chemical processing that it takes to extract the fibers. I also did not include lotus silk, byssus silk (sea silk), or any other experimental animal silk (such as the golden orb weaver spider silk) that has been made/created.

Natural fibers cost more to harvest, process, spin, and weave. They can be more difficult to color evenly, because like any natural material they have flaws and variations. This makes them more expensive to work with, which makes the clothing more expensive to produce and sell. But the items produced will last longer (theoretically), will feel better against the skin, and will be better for you in the long run for both you and the planet than clothing yourself in plastic. Microplastics will rub off on your skin, washing away in the washing machines and getting into the water supply. As the fabrics break down, they will become not only rougher against the skin, but also more difficult to mend and patch, limiting their wear life. But because they are plastics, they won't decompose and break down, continuing to pollute the environment unless they can be recycled.

Natural fabrics, in comparison, will become softer over time. They can be repaired more easily as they get holes or tears because the fabric will not have pieces break off like plastic will. It can be easily recycled, and will eventually decompose (which is why archaeologists rarely find clothing and textiles at dig sites), causing little to no damage to the environment. Rarely will a person be allergic to a natural fabric (WOOL! Argh!!!), and when they are, there is usually a protein, emollient, or fabric composition which can be a factor and can (usually) be mitigated, unlike with a synthetic fiber.

Don't get me wrong, synthetic fibers have their place and they have become very useful for certain things. But, we live in a time of fast fashion and high consumerism fueled by synthetic fabrics and exploited labor. Being conscientious of what your clothing is made of, what natural fabrics can do, how long they can last, and why and when you should wear them is a good way to start cutting down on waste while helping your body feel better. And you may find that by limiting the amount of synthetic materials you put on or near your body, that certain things might start to clear up (acne, rashes, etc.).

I know there is much more about fashion and fabrics out there, and I am 100% certain that there is someone out there MUCH more knowledgeable than me. But this is just some information I had and info dumped.

[headspace-hotel]

natural fibers knowledge!

[smashinbeetlessinceorson]

I'm a fiber nerd for similar reasons to you, headspace. If you'll humor me, I have a few unsolicited suggestions for looking for natural fibers in thrift stores (other than looking at the tags, naturally, but also since I don't always trust the tags, since fabric fraud or mislabeling isn't uncommon, and tags can be missing or hard to find).

Bast fibers like linen and hemp usually have a fair number of slubs and are usually woven for durability, because lightweight knits tend to unravel near the slubs just around the same time that the wear level starts to get Perfect.

If you're running through the racks and find a nice hand, remember that synthetics tend to absorb water poorly. Holding the fabric for just a moment and then rubbing the fingers together usually tells me if the moisture was absorbed, or if my hands are still sticky. Fabric softener and dry cleaning can fool me sometimes.

Same as the above, synthetics tend to reflect heat. If a fabric feels soft to the hand, hold onto it a moment. Silk and wool warm up slowly, but synthetics feel "warm" almost immediately. Plant fibers also warm pretty quickly in the hand, but will still absorb water.

Silk and wool are HEAVY on the thread level. A tightly woven silk jacket is way heavier than a poly or nylon one of similar thread gauge.

And although your assessments are largely excellent, pyroteknich, I have a few nits to pick:

Cotton gets WET and holds 36x its own weight in water, compared to ~6x for bast fibers and a little more for wool and silk. When it's wet, the water clogs the gaps in the clothes and prevents airflow. I mention this because I live in a humid subtropical area and sweat basically doesn't evaporate. Cotton means a swampy underside, or all-over-side if you're working hard enough or get caught in the rain. A notable exception to this is very loose and billowy clothing like gauzy skirts. I generally avoid cotton entirely because of its water-holding capacity.

Silk does wear like iron unless it gets wet, then it's very weak and abrades easily. Normal activities in my area will cause sweat to build up and that moisture will shred silks. Again, the solution is loose and billowy, and being choosy about which fabrics during particular times of year. I tend toward bast fibers in the warmer months and silks in the cooler ones. Reconstituted cellulose fibers like "bamboo", ramie, rayon, and so on have similarly poor durability when wet. Silk also stains very easily and HATES being in the sun to dry or for too long period, as UV light breaks it down, just something to be aware of.

And also unsolicited, I would like to share a few tips I've picked up for keeping natural fibers in good shape so they can get to that delightful broken-in level. We have very, very soft water in my area, so your mileage may vary.

If not handwashing, a top-loading washer, filled up completely with cold water, is pretty close to handwashing, on delicate settings.

Most of the time, "dry clean only" is a bunch of nonsense, except with suits or dresses made with water-soluble interfacing. People washed these pieces for how many centuries before dry cleaning existed? Yeah. Unfortunately, I don't know an easy way to find out if interfacings are water-soluble, except to give the piece a wash. I've restored dozens of stinky natural-fiber pieces that were discarded because the original owner's dry cleaning didn't remove the water-soluble odors, and I "restored" them just by giving them a nice wash. Sometimes a pair of suit pants or a jacket will start poking out the plastic interfacing after the wash, so yknow. Caveat washor.

Even if handwashing, strongly alkaline detergents or high heat will cause protein-based fibers like wools and silks to denature and degrade rapidly during the abrasion of washing. Vinegar will help, and mild curd soaps are best. If only washing wools, a little liquid lanolin mixed well with hot water and curd soap prior to adding to the wash water will help restore the fibers, making the garment more water-repellent, stronger, and more durable. Small amounts of detergents can be used to boost the efficacy of the wash if there is a lot of oil in the laundry soils.

Inversely, plant fibers prefer hot water and can withstand alkaline detergents well, making washing soda and borax viable additions, but hot water will often cause stains to set. I like to help remove the alkalines from the fabric by using vinegar in the rinse. Machine drying, even on "air dry" settings, will still cause static buildup in the fibers, making them slightly water-repellent and for myself, an extremely unpleasant sensory experience. I try to line-dry everything, which is difficult when showers and storms are unpredictable and frequent, and the humidity is 70%+ most days during the hottest part of the day. Still worth it, and indoor line-dry is an option.

Wools and silks are magnets for carpet beetles and clothes moths. When I'm storing clothes for the season, I wash them, gently lanolize the wools, make sure they're 100% dry, then heat up an oven with a baking stone to 200F (90C), line a metal sheet pan with parchment paper, cut the oven, and then leave the clothes in the oven for 30min to kill any eggs. Then I wrap them tightly with plastic bags and put them in plastic bins for storage, and I've never had a problem with insects since. I got the idea from bedbug treatments.

I hope that fellow sufferers from fast fashion and the electrostatic nightmare that is synthetic clothing can get a little something out of the years I've been working on this. I have pieces I've been wearing regularly for 15 years using these techniques.

[headspace-hotel]

MORE NATURAL FIBERS KNOWLEDGE

[purple-boi-clefairy-god]

[itsaudreynotaubrey]

This will never NOT be funny

[tigersquash99]

I’m so glad this is on tumblr

[tropic-mews]

My favourite thing about this is, he didn’t even have to call him ‘Captain’ he could have used the screen-name but he was SO MARRIED TO THE IMMERSION that he DID.

[vallianttreedreamland]

ah yes the classics

[acreaturecalledgreed]

incredibly bizarre and confusing seeing ppl call themselves "chuds" all the sudden b/c like

thats what we call neo nazis and shitty conservative bros? or at least its what we used to call them? why are ppl calling themselves "chuds" affectionately now

what is happening

yall know chud means fascist right like please tell me yall know that

[acreaturecalledgreed]

im hoping this is a case of "younger folks on the internet adopting Silly Word b/c its Silly and not realizing it actually means something"

so here's me educating! you're calling yourselves fascists! thats what you're doing! maybe don't do that and use your head before you start using every goofy word you see!

[acreaturecalledgreed]

let me be agonizingly clear

when you call yourself and your friends "chuds"

YOU

ARE

CALLING

YOURSELF

A

NAZI

[maja-paja]

[playwrongs]

Stephen King’s Fujo

[kungfunurse]

yeah @sunderwight these tags are gold

[catching-fire-in-the-wind]