That’s how everything feels today. That’s how she went last night, with her daughters beside her talking to her, giving her permission to go and letting her know that we would be taking good care of each other. She always pushed to get us all together, and that’s when she felt most complete. She held on until that very moment that happened.
It’s over. It doesn’t feel like a victory or like we completed some massive task we were given that none of us wanted. We will always want more moments, to tell her more things. To have her at all of our weddings and to meet our future children. I know we are each feeling different things right now but the “I want my momma” feeling is mutual, and inevitable. I didn’t know it would be this strong. I just want her back. I don’t want to accept this.
We are so blessed though. I have to say that even if I don’t want to. We were able to take care of her at home the entire time. We were able to say goodbye before she was gone. We noticed her breaths becoming more shallow and were able to hold and talk to her in the very moment she went. We were able to show her how much we love her in the best way we ever could.
Mom, I’m so glad you are not hurting anymore. I’m so glad you are with our Heavenly Father in a place 100% cancer free. I miss you I miss you I miss you. I know you are proud of us and that makes it all so much easier. I love you.
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