[andreauxminyard]

my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

[wrook]

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

[piscesenergy]

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

[amant-lesbienne]

my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house 

my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty

[gay-possum-rights]

Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go

My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops

[ubelyptus]

protect this post

[daisyandlazy]

[juliadorable-deactivated2020120]

[missedmyhearts-deactivated20210]

#saveb99

[harleyy-quinn]

[stegulus]

:o :0 and :O all have very different meanings in my head but i cant articulate them

[mir-i-moon]

Me: I don’t wanna be gay. I wish I was different.

[Sees cute girl]

Me: I’m so gay, holy fuck me sideways I love being gay, I love girls. So pretty. phew.

[vsfurl-deactivated20180111]

[agentdalecooper]

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

[agentdalecooper]

classic material

[ruinedchildhood]

[alloftheimaginesblog]

Hogwarts Houses as Brooklyn Nine Nine gifs...

Gryffindor:

Ravenclaw:

Hufflepuff:

Slytherin:

[pinch]

[dorindameddler]

Does anyone remember when the posts were like “if you’re in your twenties you shouldn’t be on Tumblr” but now that everyone who was making those posts is in their twenties they’ve changed to “if you’re over 30 you shouldn’t be on tumblr”

[commandershepardvasfuckit]

No one should be on this site and yet here we all are

[regardstosoulandromance]

If John Mulaney was a vine he’d be “road work ahead? UH YEAH. I sure hope it does!”

[catchinlemons]

Not sure what to do with this information but it is absolutely correct

[44st]

[rupindork-deactivated20130712]

Did Jordin Sparks ever figure out how to breathe with no air

[florals780]

when was the last time u heard anything about jordin sparks. i rest my case

[powerfulwizard]

There will be a lot of homophobes in your life who won’t openly hate you. They’ll instead wait for a reason to hate you that is more socially acceptable in their circle.

[ishinomori-deactivated20220123]

not to hijack tbh, but this kind of like ‘secret’ homophobia applies to racism too - people won’t discriminate against you for shit they know they can’t get away with, but the minute they find anything else. not all bigots are stupid enough to give that shit away - the truly insidious ones find ways to discriminate without actually playing into MAGA style discrimination and bigotry