I am not a bot, but I sure as hell don't know else

A demon and an anime villain in-making, idiots be warned, let live laugh love, chill out dudes we all turn to dust let's just enjoy art. Zionists DNI y'all are insane and Superman would definitely hate you.

[schoolhater]

@danashehab has been fundraising since may and is just over €15,000 away from their goal l. as stated in the screenshot people are starting to believe the rafah crossing will open so it’s important to make sure everyone has the funds in case they are allowed to evacuate.

thee shehab family consists of dana (13), sahar (14), mona (9), malak (5), yehya (1.5), fahed, (38), reem (32), and grandmother mona (60). they have been shadowbanned and deleted a few times. you can also find this family at @monashehab

Donate to Help Sahar and Her Family to Evacuate Gaza, organized by Ahmed Shamia

My name is Sahar Shehab. I am 14 years old from Gaza . I ask you for urgent h… Ahmed Shamia needs your support for Help Sahar and Her Famil

[vetted]

[danashehab]

🛑YOU ARE NOT SELFISH‼️

I need you to help me protect the rest of my family. I cannot afford to lose any of them. Any amount will make a difference in saving them.

🚨IF YOU IGNORE THIS, YOU ARE DOOMING MY FAMILY TO DEATH 🚨Guys, donations are slow, please don't leave me, I need your support

@schoolhater @mazzikah @irhabiya @terroristiraqis @watchnpray @stuckinapril@feluka @tortiefrancis @timetravellingkitty @flouryhedgehog @jinnazah @soracities @bloglikeanegyptian @handweavers @trans-axolotl @plomegranate @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako @anneemay @bedufairy @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe @rhubarbspring @schoolhater @starstrucksnowing @handsworthsongs @determinate-negation @khanger @kibumkim @qattdraws @brutaliakhoa @libraryposting @geeseareassholes @wellwaterhysteria @deepspaceboytoy @edwordsmyth @chilewithcarnage @psychotic-gerard @post-brahminism @bringmemyrocks @arslanjae @reduxskullduggerry @magnus-rhymes-with-swagness @kyra45-helping-others @log6 @7bitter @sharingresourcesforpalestine @neechees @mothblossoms @gothhabiba @mangocheesecakes @toiletpotato @fromjannah @palms-upturned @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @lacecap @littlestpersimmon @socalgal @ghelgheli @northgazaupdates2 @vakarians-babe @ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat @watermotif @mavigator @capricornpropaganda @communist-ojou-sama @xinakwans @heritageposts @velvety

[fahedshehab-new]

‼️ Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Here is my story 🍉🇵🇸

Donate to Help Sahar and Her Family to Evacuate Gaza, organized by Ahmed Shamia

My name is Sahar Shehab. I am 14 years old from Gaza . I ask you for urgent h… Ahmed Shamia needs your support for Help Sahar and Her Famil

[fahedshehab051]

🚨🚨 A cry for help from a family besieged in Gaza 🚨🚨

Donate to Help Sahar and Her Family to Evacuate Gaza, organized by Ahmed Shamia

My name is Sahar Shehab. I am 14 years old from Gaza . I ask you for urgent h… Ahmed Shamia needs your support for Help Sahar and Her Famil

[angstandhappiness]

IMPORTANT

[moransearthworms]

Mo Ran, seeing teenage Xue Meng again for the first time: This motherfucker never did anything but be jealous of me, look down on me, and try to sabotage me

Also Mo Ran: *happy to see him*

[moransearthworms]

Mo Ran, seeing teenage Xue Meng again for the first time: This motherfucker never did anything but be jealous of me, look down on me, and try to sabotage me

Also Mo Ran: *happy to see him*

[thegreymoon]

He’s a sweetheart 🖤 The way he loved, and the way Hua Binan twisted him to think his love was hate 😢 I am glad he got crushed by those gates and never lived to set foot in the paradise he strove for.

[angstandhappiness]

Pulverize him again

[moransearthworms]

the most painful part of 2ha for me the first time was not 97 or 279... it was the part where Mo Ran was testing out the chess pieces and almost got found out by shizun.... the near miss, the fact that his submerged (true) self was desperate for Chu Wanning to stop him, Chu Wanning being too hurt by Mo Ran’s cruelty to think to look closer.... it’s chilling, it’s horrifying, it feels like the point of no return

[thegreymoon]

OMG, yes, that part was chilling! Also, close to that bit was the one when they were training and Mo Ran fell. Chu Wanning caught him but got injured, and as Mo Ran tended to his wound, he realizes that his pain and injury can buy him back a bit of Mo Ran’s affection and sanity. That was just... so horrifying, especially when we know what comes next. 

[angstandhappiness]

EEEK

[moransearthworms]

the most painful part of 2ha for me the first time was not 97 or 279... it was the part where Mo Ran was testing out the chess pieces and almost got found out by shizun.... the near miss, the fact that his submerged (true) self was desperate for Chu Wanning to stop him, Chu Wanning being too hurt by Mo Ran’s cruelty to think to look closer.... it’s chilling, it’s horrifying, it feels like the point of no return

[elenalost]

Yeah, that scene was too much to me too. But honestly i was really terrified when i found out Shizun died in ch97. I could feel Mo Ran's disbelief because "oh, it can't be again". I felt his grief as well. In the 279th i wasn't surprised, or that emotional. I was every chapter before that, when the showed us his memories though his storytelling or more thorough Wanning's "memories". The tension was built up very well. It was so hard to read, and for me, this whole mode of storytelling has already predicted the inevitable. So when we reached that part I already knew it inside "oh, it's over."

I couldn't think anything else besides how would Wanning survive? I really couldn't imagine that he will live. When he was out from the story that much chapter I was sure he was suicidal. Like after how he reacted i really didn't expect him to wants to survive. And the writer said as well; he was dead inside. When after the battle Mo Ran put him away to save him I was like; "you idiot, now he will go and kill himself".

Wanning went to die with him and i just couldn't imagine he could do it. His strength was way over on my expectations. When they talked about what if Mo Ran couldn't come back and Wanning asked him ~"Can you imagine what would have i feel if when i came and you couldn't come back? What would have i done?" Like he was told him "if you couldn't come back that time i would have been die. That was last hope, my last strength for to live".

I'm always feel grateful and think it's was really fortune that Mo Ran came back before he arrived and not just after 2 or 3 days later. I don't think he would have find him still alive. This thought hurts my heart.

[angstandhappiness]

HAURGH

[moransearthworms]

so everything i say about Shi Mei I do say with this in mind: he absolutely was horribly traumatized as a child, and he was right that the Butterfly Boned Beauties shouldn’t be oppressed anymore. He was also given a strong initial push towards the method he ended up using to save them. THAT BEING SAID, I don’t think that makes him justified in using it.

It comes down to basic principles that shouldn’t just be followed because consensus or tradition say we should, but because they are true in the sense that they reflect how consequences work. You shouldn’t sacrifice one group of people to give others a chance at a better future because A. people suffering is people suffering and B. you can only actually control what you yourself are doing right now. In this instance, taking the BBBs to a realm where they will be powerful and free is a goal that initially came from wanting to reduce people’s suffering and to give them a chance to be well. If the way you go about it involves (massively) increasing people’s suffering and taking away their well-being, you’re betraying your own goal. The distinction between different groups of people only justifies the trade if you’re assuming that by suffering, the BBBs have earned the right to make other people suffer. That logic is what perpetuates trauma and abuse. Shi Mei doesn’t get that the way to stop it is... to stop it, starting with yourself. The means can’t help but also be the ends.

[angstandhappiness]

I still want him pulverized again

[moransearthworms]

so everything i say about Shi Mei I do say with this in mind: he absolutely was horribly traumatized as a child, and he was right that the Butterfly Boned Beauties shouldn’t be oppressed anymore. He was also given a strong initial push towards the method he ended up using to save them. THAT BEING SAID, I don’t think that makes him justified in using it.

It comes down to basic principles that shouldn’t just be followed because consensus or tradition say we should, but because they are true in the sense that they reflect how consequences work. You shouldn’t sacrifice one group of people to give others a chance at a better future because A. people suffering is people suffering and B. you can only actually control what you yourself are doing right now. In this instance, taking the BBBs to a realm where they will be powerful and free is a goal that initially came from wanting to reduce people’s suffering and to give them a chance to be well. If the way you go about it involves (massively) increasing people’s suffering and taking away their well-being, you’re betraying your own goal. The distinction between different groups of people only justifies the trade if you’re assuming that by suffering, the BBBs have earned the right to make other people suffer. That logic is what perpetuates trauma and abuse. Shi Mei doesn’t get that the way to stop it is… to stop it, starting with yourself. The means can’t help but also be the ends.

[moransearthworms]

it’s the ~300 ch long reveal that This Was Mo Ran All Along, for me

[angstandhappiness]

HAIGH

[dangermousie]

I’ve gotten to the bit in my reread where Xue Meng is drunk and calls Moran his brother and there is something in my eye…

And then Meatbun decides to do me in by Moran having a memory of when Moran first arrived at the sect, terrified, abused and starving, and Xue Meng showed up with a box of pastries for him and…quietly bawling here.

PS The bit where he was earlier thinking how Shimei, even though somehow he’s turned into a stranger, is someone who’s always treated him well and protected him? FULL BODY SHUDDER

[andoqin]

XUE MENG!!!! Best (fake) baby cousin anyone could ever want! In so many other novels he would have been a spoilt brat who hates his cousin, but not here. He just accepts Mo Ran as a new addition to the family and while he’s not always great at expressing it he loves Mo Ran too. Xue Family best Family tbh.

[dangermousie]

The first time I read 2ha, I totally expected Xue Meng to be untalented jealous spoiled twerp who would turn against the protags for petty reasons (same with Nangong Si) and then there came that scene under the lake where I was sure Xue Meng would take the willow’s offer and try to kill Moran out of jealousy and as his only chance to get a holy weapon - and Meatbun totally plays into the reader’s expectation only to then blow it up because Xue Meng who is then all of 15, takes that holy sword and slams it into the willow saving them all and even though this means he will never have a holy weapon which in their world means he will never have much chance to be a good cultivator. And it was then when I fell a little in love with the narcissistic spoiled and immature but very good guy that Xue Meng actually is. (And the other thing I love is that in a lot of narratives even if they wouldn’t make him a bad guy per se, they’d make it so he needs to go through a ton of suffering to become good and heroic and all that but in 2ha, nope he is already. Only to then get put through hell anyway - not because he needed it for his growth but because that world is horrible and full of injustice and pain.)

The thing that occurred to me on reread btw is that Moran as Taxian Jun was “nobody ever cared for me except my long dead mother and long dead Shimei” (and even as warped as TXJ was, if he was allowed to think things through, he’d have noticed that Shimei’s kindnesses weren’t much. The only reason he had Shimei on such a pedestal wasn’t just because of the spell but because due to the curse Shimei’s “kindnesses” were the only memories of someone caring for him that he was allowed to keep. Objectively even in the version of events he was made to believe are real, Shimei hadn’t done much - was nice to him during interactions and occasionally made him meals.)

BUT! One of the really horrible things that curse/spell did (other than resulting in destruction of the universe among other minor peccadillos) is that Moran DOES have people who care about him deeply - not just Chu Wanning, but Xue Meng, his aunt and uncle. But thanks to Shimei, Moran literally forgot/couldn’t process genuine caring shown to him by people who genuinely cared for him and gave him the acceptance and love he craved but made him “remember” only the false kindness and care shown to him by someone I can only label his torturer. Yikes!

Side note: I would be more on board with Shimei’s whole “people are awful to my clan so they all deserved to be murdered and tortured and turned into a human bridge to hell” if he didn’t subject anyone who’s ever shown him genuine care to a full panoply of horrors - Chu Wanning, Moran, the Xues that took him in. Shimei 2.0 may yet earn his redemption (I objectively think he may even if subjectively any time he’s on the page, I get shudders; after all it wasn’t just Hua Binan Shimei who planned to put that flower into CWN/put that flower into Moran since this was before Hua Binan came over to the main universe - and though I haven’t got to that scene on reread yet, that whole vibe is so horrifying - the smugness and the mocking. Ugh!) But there is no redemption in any world for Hua Binan Shimei - not even because of all his horrors but because until his last second, he thinks he’s right in every last particular. (I am not even going to get into his whole “well you had your fun with him, TXJ, it’s only fair I get my turn” as if Chu Wanning was a particularly exciting timeshare. TXJ is literally bespelled/compelled to hatred and rage/zombie/insane/soul-splintered/some combo of same during any of his scenes. What’s Hua Binan’s excuse?)

Ok this went way off tangent haha. But one last thing - I am just glad that after CWN accepts Hua Binan’s sleeping aid meds he’s all “I’ve been sleeping well so I don’t need them let’s put them away.” God knows what sort of horror that dude put into them.

[angstandhappiness]

Fry that flower fucker alive

[dangermousie]

I’ve gotten to the bit in my reread where Xue Meng is drunk and calls Moran his brother and there is something in my eye…

And then Meatbun decides to do me in by Moran having a memory of when Moran first arrived at the sect, terrified, abused and starving, and Xue Meng showed up with a box of pastries for him and…quietly bawling here.

PS The bit where he was earlier thinking how Shimei, even though somehow he’s turned into a stranger, is someone who’s always treated him well and protected him? FULL BODY SHUDDER

[thegreymoon]

Oh, the scenes with Mo Ran and Xue Meng just shred me 😭 Also, that dark one, when Mo Ran is calculating how many chess pieces he’ll need and Xue Meng unwittingly helps him. And Mo Ran decides then that he will spare him because of this unexpected kindness 💔💔

[dangermousie]

Oh my God, I forgot that nightmare fuel!

[angstandhappiness]

HO

[moransearthworms]

Mo Ran, for all he teases Xue Meng as 1.0, is actually really careful with him? Like he pokes at his ego and makes him angry, but... Xue Meng’s naivete and pride actually make him really vulnerable in a way that Mo Ran never takes advantage of to truly hurt or humiliate him.

The part I’m thinking of is when they’re on their way to Jincheng Lake and Xue Meng says something indignant about the inequality of the upper cultivation world. The response I expected (back when I believed what Mo Ran said about their relationship and himself) was that Mo Ran would absolutely ridicule him— for expecting fairness, for thinking he understood, for blustering about something he was too young to do anything about. But he didn’t do any of that, he just agreed with him and let it pass by. There are so many “missed opportunities” like this between 1.0 and Xue Meng, where Mo Ran, who very much thinks of himself as a jaded adult, shows the kind of forbearance and gentleness of someone trying to protect innocence.

[dangermousie]

Moran 1.0 as any version of Moran except the literally cursed one has so much innate kindness in him even when he thinks he doesn’t - look how patient and nice he is with Xia Sini who is a random small child and not one with a soft cuddly personality either. He keeps thinking it’s because he has good martial arts but come on, that’s a ridiculous excuse, he doesn’t try to get his skills or anything.

[moransearthworms]

yeah!!! It’s one of my favorite things, identifying those excuses 1.0 uses and the kindness, love, etc they cover up— the one that made me stop believing them on the first read was when Mo Ran went into the blood hourglass instead of Chu Wanning “just because he didn’t want to owe him.” Okay Mo Ran, I’ve been buying what you’re selling for too long.

And the one-offs are great, but Xia Sini!! he kept up the “scam” of looking after him for MONTHS. (when he had that lovely exchange with poor Chu Lan and didn’t know what to do with himself without an excuse, it was also very much a case of “you have literally been doing this exact thing with Xia Sini since you met him??”).

[dangermousie]

Yes! I remember thinking the same thing about him being sweet with Chu Lan who is a random toddler he just met and not real one at that, just the impression of one.

Also, I am all for not wanting to owe someone, but to volunteer to die in a lengthy and gruesome manner is way beyond dislike of owning someone, however pathological. (PS That was the moment I went !!! also on my first read.)

I mean, Moran has been so brain washed and gaslit he doesn’t know which way is up but his natural character keeps coming through more and more.

[angstandhappiness]

HAUGH

[moransearthworms]

Mo Ran, for all he teases Xue Meng as 1.0, is actually really careful with him? Like he pokes at his ego and makes him angry, but... Xue Meng’s naivete and pride actually make him really vulnerable in a way that Mo Ran never takes advantage of to truly hurt or humiliate him.

The part I’m thinking of is when they’re on their way to Jincheng Lake and Xue Meng says something indignant about the inequality of the upper cultivation world. The response I expected (back when I believed what Mo Ran said about their relationship and himself) was that Mo Ran would absolutely ridicule him— for expecting fairness, for thinking he understood, for blustering about something he was too young to do anything about. But he didn’t do any of that, he just agreed with him and let it pass by. There are so many “missed opportunities” like this between 1.0 and Xue Meng, where Mo Ran, who very much thinks of himself as a jaded adult, shows the kind of forbearance and gentleness of someone trying to protect innocence.

[dangermousie]

I have gotten to the first flashback on 0.5 Moran starting to make chess pieces and argh!!!

1. When he faints and in his delirium thinks it’s Shimei who takes care of him but it’s CWN. Isn’t it a fucking pattern.

2. When he thinks he doesn’t want to go down the road of chess either. It’s the last vestiges of his actual soul trying to save him, to me. But it’s impossible of course.

3. The incense thing! It kills me that he never really mentions to others he loathes the smell of incense (and I still remember gut punch later when we find out why) but CWN knows and extinguishes it - this is how you should know it wasn’t Shimei - he loooooved incense and if that doesn’t about sum it all up.

4. He looks at the first chess piece he makes and thinks he wants to put it into CWN. Which yes, you are obsessed with him blah blah but the true horror to me is that he sacrificed his soul and free will and literally everything to prevent from making CWN a puppet and volunteered to be a puppet in his stead; only now under the influence of the curse it is he himself who wants to turn him into a puppet and he doesn’t even realize how warped and horrifying it is because he remembers nothing of his sacrifice or his true self. (And yet. He never does turn CWN into a puppet, does he? Not even when he imprisons him for 8 years and does all sorts of other crazy things. I wonder if it’s the one remaining spark of his original soul preventing him, knowing that he doesn’t want a puppet CWN, he wants the real him, that he gave up everything to protect CWN remaining himself, that even torturing him, breaking him, killing him would not be as bad as making him a pawn with no volition, with turning him into what he’s been turned into.)

ETA: OMG, this is not a man doing it of his own volition, not really.

The spirit screaming and shattered? I never picked it up the first time but when Moran visited the Underworld in the main timeline, Chu Xun told him about how a soul can splinter if it can’t bear the evil it’s doing and OMG here is where it happened!!!!!!

[moransearthworms]

oh my god, YES. First of all, never making cwn a puppet— the horror of thinking there’s no reason why not when it’s what he’s destroyed himself to prevent. I agree and I think it was the same thing that pulled him back over and over from actually killing cwn. It’s possible that there would have to be truly nothing left of him (not just that everything good in him is being suppressed and overridden) for him to make Chu Wanning a puppet without a qualm. Even after Chu Wanning died, he wouldn’t do it. It seems to me like, it’s not that Mo Ran was consciously fighting the curse, because there’s no way he could, but the way his brain went through all kinds of gymnastics to justify keeping cwn alive and himself, I think was about trying to hold onto the last most precious good thing. Like the reason he doesn’t kill cwn is possessiveness over his most hated person, the reason he doesn’t make him a puppet is that possessing him only counts if it’s the real him (even though that doesn’t matter with anyone else). It reads like a negotiation between what he wants and what he’s allowed to think and feel. There’s a very delicate balance going on with 0.5 about cwn, like on some level he knows what he can get away with and what not. There’s a very small set of thoughts he can safely think about him, poisonous enough to be allowed but not so much so that he loses cwn. I think way he treats Chu Wanning is horrible AND it’s the best he could manage.

And this part is so painful! It’s incredible how much expectations affect how this part reads. You can totally read it as Mo Ran destroying his own conscience the first time, even though EVERYTHING below the surface is screaming that he doesn’t want this at all. I originally thought that he didn’t suffer too much until he finally faced what he’d done, but it’s not that. It was all torture. He could only cling to the illusion of control to stay sane, after this. (the “i have to hate you, Chu Wanning, otherwise…”) No wonder it took him so long to stop rationalizing everything with “I’m a terrible person with no motives but hatred and self interest” as 1.0!

And I hadn’t put it together that Mo Ran’s spirit shattering wasn’t just a metaphor!! I even thought “It’s weird that that didn’t happen to Mo Ran,” but it totally did. Do you think that’s what allowed part of him to stay in 0.5 verse while the rest went to 1.0, that his spirit was already in pieces, so Chu Wanning’s soul acted as a magnet picking up filaments? And do you think over the course of 1.0/2.0 verse it was putting itself back together?

[dangermousie]

“Do you think that’s what allowed part of him to stay in 0.5 verse while the rest went to 1.0, that his spirit was already in pieces, so Chu Wanning’s soul acted as a magnet picking up filaments? And do you think over the course of 1.0/2.0 verse it was putting itself back together?“

OMG I don’t know if this is the case or not but it’s now my headcanon because I love it so much!

Also about it all being torture - I noticed how often it’s mention that no matter how much Moran 0.5/TXJ achieves, he is gloomy and miserable. It’s one thing to be evil, but he is miserable the whole way down.

He gets to suffer during and he gets to suffer after. Fun times. To me the most insidious thing about the curse is it doesn’t even give you the free will to know what’s going on so you are miserable controlled and miserable free afterwards.

Oh, and I got to this part in my reread:

Big shock! Knowing Hua Binan is Shimei 1.0, this is very very !!! since yes, of course he wants to throw suspicion on Moran. God, his real dedication and passion is not rescuing BBBFs but tormenting Moran, I swear.

Also, not related, but oh Meatbun!

I love how she just throws this in casually only to hit you later over the head with why and it’s one of the most horrible things ever.

ETA: I am a total clown, until @moransumbrella brought it up I didn’t even think that not only could TXJ have made CWN a chess piece when he was alive, but he could have “revived” him as a chess piece after he was dead. And yet no matter how insane and monstrous he got, no matter how much he missed him, he never did. !!!!!!!! My mind is blown.

Also the more I think about it, the more I realize that the flashbacks to Moran 0.5 after the flower but before he turns into full-on Taxian Jun freak me out the most, more than any sheer unhinged lunacy TXJ engages in - probably because you can still see glimpses of actual Moran in him, silently screaming as he drowns in hate and madness and can’t do anything to stop it.

[angstandhappiness]

Screw that flower fucker

[moransearthworms]

i think mo ran needed the illusion that he had properly time traveled in order to give him some breathing room there at the beginning. If he’d known from the start that everything he’d done was permanently done, just in another universe, and not knowing about the curse either, I don’t know how he could have had enough hope to give his life another real try— the despair that put 0.5 in the grave in the first place would have followed him much more closely. Even thinking it had all been undone, he had to work hard to keep ahead of it, and of course, he couldn’t fully grow back into a moral person without it catching up to him, at least privately. I think he needed every bit of the growing up, experiencing love that he could actually remember, rediscovering what kind of person he wanted to be, and proving to himself that he could be that person to help him bear finding out that there was no undoing the past.

[moransearthworms]

i think mo ran needed the illusion that he had properly time traveled in order to give him some breathing room there at the beginning. If he’d known from the start that everything he’d done was permanently done, just in another universe, and not knowing about the curse either, I don’t know how he could have had enough hope to give his life another real try— the despair that put 0.5 in the grave in the first place would have followed him much more closely. Even thinking it had all been undone, he had to work hard to keep ahead of it, and of course, he couldn’t fully grow back into a moral person without it catching up to him, at least privately. I think he needed every bit of the growing up, experiencing love that he could actually remember, rediscovering what kind of person he wanted to be, and proving to himself that he could be that person to help him bear finding out that there was no undoing the past.

[dangermousie]

I love the concept that there is no clean slate, not really just as I love that the happy ending doesn’t magically fix everything and CWN and Moran both have to heal slowly in some ways and some things will never be fully fixed.

But agreed, this would have been way way too much for 1.0!

[angstandhappiness]

Fair

[moransearthworms]

Like we all know this already but the fact that Taxian-jun made sure to find Chu Wanning’s old monastery and shower it with riches for just possibly being connected to the person who saved him means that the curse definitely needed BOTH the negative-feelings-amplification and the memory erasure to make him treat Chu Wanning so badly. If he’d remembered even one indisputably good thing Chu Wanning had done for him, he might have been torn apart thinking he’d also let Shi Mei die, but I really wonder if he would have lifted a finger against him.

[moransearthworms]

Most of what Hua Binan did was so enormously terrible i can’t wrap my head around it. What i keep getting stuck on is that he made Mo Ran forget his mother