He had been waiting. He had been waiting for those words-- those words of contempt, of anger, of hatred... they were there. The fat man knew they were there-- after all, they were always there. That's why he couldn't be brought to tears. That's why he couldn't fall to his hands and knees in despair.
Because he was used to such a thing before, this despair meant little to him. It only ate at his heart continuously-- leaving an empty shell of a man with the only unique characteristic being the mounds of fat he carried with pride.
Perhaps that was the only pride he had. After all, if there was something that gave him some identity... it was his girth.
And in that moment where he could only listen to the idol's trepidatious words, that empty husk of a human being was suddenly pierced through his chest in... surprise.
His words hardly managed to choke out as he heard Sayaka's own. ... She couldn't hate him. She couldn't... hate... him...?
He didn't understand the meaning of these words, 'I can't hate you'. And so, unable to speak, the figure before the idol had allowed Sayaka to continue on as he would endure the rest of her words. ... Fortunately, it was not a barrage he would have to painfully endure either.
Her accepting responses... Sayaka... understood his actions. ... She understood what he had done, and why-- and she wanted him to stay of all things. She was... truly... forgiving him. And that hurt. That hurt deeply.
The bitter feeling sunk in to his chest. For the first time, he had made a bond so strong that... someone didn't wish to lose him. That someone wanted him-- and not just for his abilities, either.
No doubt all he was wanted for in Super High School Level Despair was just that.
The pain of having lied to such a person, however... utterly broke the composure of the man as tears streaked down his fat cheeks, rivulets ending with droplets plopping to the ground before that glistened brightly.
Y-you... I've lied to you from the beginning a-and... I repay you by... fleeing once you find out... and yet... yet, you... you...
Togami's voice was gone. His voice was replaced with the sad one of a young man whom had always sat in the dark, wearing different masks as he went on and spoke to others. Masks that always smiled. Whose to say the person behind the mask wasn't smiling too, though? ... But the truth is, the man behind the mask... never smiled.
I can't fathom... e-even if... I've done all this... why...? Why...?!
No one had ever accepted him like this, aside from Ibuki. Ibuki was blinded with those feelings she felt for the man-- feelings he couldn't comprehend. She was... too innocent. That's what is boiled down to, innocence.
He was still sure deep down that she would dislike him too.
... But being told straight up by someone like this whom held no such feelings like that towards himself for... this was very, very different. And that's why it hurt so bad.
... I'm... I'm not worth your time. I'm not worth anyone's! ... There's no... there's no reason to want me to stay... I can't do anything. I-I can't really help anyone. I'm nothing. I'm nothing! I'm nothing at all! I can't even attempt to be a leader without dying! I'm a failure on so... so many accounts...
The only skills I have are my abilitie to lie and eat!
He averted his gaze from the idol as despair sank in and blurred his vision even further, glasses already fogged up by now-- nose runny as well. Those tears had only grown larger, and it felt as if they had grown colder, too.
This... was really despair.
A feeling he had truly forgotten.
A nobody like myself who died without doing anything... shouldn't have been brought back at all. ... It was a mistake. It must have been... a mistake...
I can't be forgiven... you... y-you're...
You're m-making a huge mis... mistake...
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