based on this request!! it has been a long time coming. i apologize for the wait 😭
wc : 12.6k (sorry) , pairing : first love!jaehee x first love!yn (fem) , genre : fluff, angst, smut.. full circle wholesome ending <3 (MDNI!!!) , warnings : first relationship, INSECURITY, communication issues, name calling (daeng, baby), ANGST!, mutual virginity loss, fingering, raw sex (don't do that), lots of kissing, yn has some issues to work out but they're pretty cute in the end
synopsis! for years, yn believed she was the kind of person people forgot. but through every twist of fate that brings them back together, jaehee keeps choosing her. as their long-awaited love story finally begins, yn must learn that being seen can be just as frightening as being invisible.
author's note! hi guys. jaehee debut happening.. for a total of probably 10 people because it seems like no one else biases him :( i really enjoyed writing this so i hope you guys will read it even if you don't bias jaehee 😭 i've literally been working on this for MONTHS like i think i started in october 😭 but yeah probably one of my more wholesome couples :3 thank u for reading to the end if u do. leave comments / asks and lmk how it is :)
jaehee was everything you weren’t.
some people move through the world as if it opens for them naturally. doors unlock before they reach them. conversations bend easily in their direction. even silence seems to welcome them. jaehee had always been one of those people.
in middle school, teachers adored him in the quiet, unmistakable way adults sometimes adore children who remind them that goodness can exist without effort. he stayed after class to help stack textbooks into neat piles while everyone else rushed toward the freedom of the afternoon. he carried attendance sheets to the office with both hands like it was something important. teachers trusted him with keys, errands, responsibilities that made his face brighten with shy pride.
you used to watch him from your desk near the window.
sunlight always seemed to find him somehow.
it caught in his hair when he laughed. rested against the curve of his cheek while he listened to someone speak. even then, before you knew what love was supposed to feel like, you thought there was something unfair about the way the world looked around him. softer somehow. kinder.
he was good at talking to people. good at existing around them. people leaned toward him naturally, as if drawn by warmth.
high school only sharpened that quality.
by sophomore year, everyone knew his name. upperclassmen called out to him in hallways crowded with bodies and noise. girls lingered near his desk before class started, pretending to ask him questions they already knew the answers to. teachers smiled when he walked into classrooms. even people who barely knew him spoke about him with familiarity, like he belonged to them a little.
you wondered sometimes what it must feel like to be loved so easily, because you were the opposite.
by sixteen, you had already perfected the art of disappearing.
you sat near the backs of classrooms, near windows, near exits. places where no one’s eyes landed for very long. entire school days passed without your voice surfacing once. sometimes teachers paused when handing your assignments back, a flicker of uncertainty crossing their faces while they tried to remember your name.
you understood your place in people’s lives with painful clarity. you were temporary and forgettable, the sort of person who could leave a room without disturbing the air.
and then there was jaehee.
every morning, without fail, he greeted you.
sometimes it was nothing more than a soft “good morning” as he slid into the desk beside yours. sometimes he smiled at you like he hadn’t seen you in years instead of yesterday afternoon. sometimes he tapped twice against your desk with his knuckles just to get your attention before asking whether you slept enough the night before.
small things that another person might not have remembered them an hour later, but no one had ever made an effort to notice you before. those moments stayed inside you for days.
you began looking for him instinctively. in crowded hallways, across classrooms, through cafeteria windows blurred with afternoon sunlight. when he was absent, something strange settled over your day, a quiet disappointment you hated yourself for feeling so deeply.
jaehee smiled at everyone, but it always felt different when the smile was for you. it was warmer, shyer, somehow.
you noticed it before anything else.
jaehee was effortless around other people. funny, confident, endlessly easy to love. but around you, he faltered in ways so small no one else would have seen them. he held your gaze a second too long before suddenly looking away. his ears turned pink whenever your fingers brushed while exchanging pencils. sometimes he forgot what he was saying halfway through a sentence when you smiled at him unexpectedly.
you noticed everything about him. the way he laughed more softly around you. the way he always chose the seat beside yours even when better ones were open. the way he remembered things you mentioned once months ago, small details even you had forgotten you told him.
once, during math class, he folded a page of notebook paper into a tiny star and slid it onto your desk without looking at you. you kept it inside your pencil pouch for two years.
sometimes, late at night, lying awake beneath the blue glow of your ceiling light, you wondered if he understood what he was doing to you. if he knew that every act of kindness from him lodged itself somewhere deep inside your ribs and stayed there. no one else looked at you the way jaehee did.
the night beneath the stars belonged to the two of you long before either of you admitted it aloud.
no one knew about the field behind the school where the grass bent gently beneath the wind. about the way the sky looked endless above you both while the town slept quietly in the distance. about how jaehee grew quieter after midnight, his voice softer, more careful, like honesty had begun settling into him slowly.
you remember turning toward him once and realizing he was already looking at you. not at the stars, but at you.
his expression changed the second your eyes met. something vulnerable flickered across his face so quickly it almost hurt to witness. then he blushed.
jaehee, who could speak to anyone without hesitation. jaehee, who walked through crowded hallways like he belonged there completely. jaehee, who girls fell in love with without trying. he looked at you like you were the one capable of undoing him.
you thought about that look for months afterward.
you and jaehee graduated high school carrying your secret carefully between you like something fragile.
no one knew how much he adored you, or the paper stars hidden inside your belongings. about the notes he passed during class just to make you smile. about the silence that fell over him whenever you touched him unexpectedly. about the way he once walked you home without saying more than three sentences because you had grabbed his hand first and he was too nervous to think clearly afterward.
no one knew the boy everyone loved looked at you like you were something precious.
maybe the saddest thing was that neither of you said anything about it.
after the graduation ceremony ended, people flooded the field in waves of noise and laughter. parents carried flowers. cameras flashed endlessly beneath the summer heat. you stood there feeling strangely detached from all of it until you saw jaehee searching through the crowd.
the moment he found you, his entire face lit up. you felt it somewhere deep in your chest, like sunlight breaking through clouds after days of rain. you think part of you understood then that you would spend the rest of your life looking for him too.
neither of you expected to end up at the same university, but somehow, impossibly, you did.
college changed you in quiet ways. for the first time in your life, people learned your name quickly. girls on your dorm floor knocked on your door just to ask if you wanted to get food with them. you almost never ate alone anymore. you laughed more easily. you stopped shrinking yourself quite so much. you were happy.
still, every beautiful thing eventually led your thoughts back to jaehee.
sometimes you caught yourself smiling during conversations only to remember the first time he had seen you smile properly in high school. the way his expression froze for half a second. the blush spreading slowly across his cheeks afterward.
“you should smile more,” he had murmured back then, almost embarrassed by his own honesty. “i kind of want to keep it for myself.”
you wondered if he still remembered saying that. you wondered where he was now, if he still laughed too softly when he was nervous, if girls still fell in love with him everywhere he went. if he would recognize your smile now.
early autumn, the university showed a movie in the football stadium. students covered the football field in blankets and hoodies and paper cups filled with soda. the giant stadium screen cast flickering light over hundreds of faces while cold air drifted slowly through the night.
knowing the field was enormous, jaehee told himself there was no possibility the girl sitting beside him could be you. the girl beside him laughed easily and was confident. she sat surrounded by friends, warm beneath the stadium lights, looking like someone who belonged exactly where she was. you didn’t look lonely anymore.
you laughed, and he knew instantly.
after that, he barely watched the movie at all. he watched the light move across your face instead. he watched you tuck your knees closer to your chest when the wind picked up. watched you lean toward your friends while laughing. watched your smile appear and disappear in the glow of the screen like something painfully familiar.
by the time the movie ended, his heart was beating so hard it almost made him feel sick.
students began packing up blankets around you. conversations rose and scattered across the field. somewhere nearby, someone was singing drunkenly off key.
you gathered your things slowly, preparing to follow your friends out through the crowd when a pair of shoes appeared in front of you.
“yn?” he said your name carefully, like he had been carrying it around inside himself for years. he held out his hand toward you.
“jaehee?” your voice sounded smaller than you intended, almost fragile against the noise surrounding you.
for a moment, neither of you moved. you felt suspended somewhere between memory and reality, staring at the boy who had once occupied every quiet corner of your life.
he smiled the same smile that used to ruin you in classrooms and hallways and beneath midnight skies.
“this is crazy,” he said softly, laughing under his breath.
you couldn’t answer. you were too busy realizing that after all this time, he was still looking at you like finding you mattered.
jaehee clears his throat softly, fingers tightening for a second around the strap of his bag. “um,” he says, laughing under his breath in that nervous way you don’t remember him ever doing in high school. “do you maybe wanna get something to eat?”
he gestures vaguely over his shoulder toward the parking lot. “i drove.”
something inside you stumbles. your heart suddenly feels too large for your body, pressing hard against your ribs like it’s trying to escape. before you can overthink yourself into saying no, before the quieter, more frightened parts of you can interfere, you nod. “okay.”
behind you, your friends exchange looks immediately. one of them lifts her brows with obvious curiosity while another tries and fails to hide a smile. normally you would have noticed. normally embarrassment would have spread through you too quickly to ignore.
but all you can focus on is jaehee waiting for you.
the parking lot smells faintly like cold pavement and autumn leaves. the night air has sharpened while you were sitting on the field, and your hands feel chilled against the sleeves of your sweater. jaehee walks half a step beside you, close enough that your shoulder brushes his once accidentally.
his car is warmer than outside, carrying the faint scent of laundry detergent and something distinctly him beneath it. you sit carefully in the passenger seat while he starts the engine, fingers tapping once against the steering wheel like he’s trying to steady himself. for a while, neither of you says much.
streetlights slide across his face in intervals while he drives. gold, shadow, gold again. the city outside the windows feels strangely distant, blurred at the edges. you keep stealing glances at him when you think he isn’t looking.
the diner he takes you to sits near the edge of campus beneath a flickering neon sign that buzzes faintly against the dark. inside, the air smells like coffee, syrup, grease, warmth.
jaehee holds the door open for you automatically, and you thank him too quietly. he slides into the booth across from you, and the vinyl creaks beneath his weight. for a second neither of you reaches for the menus. you just look at each other.
his smile still hasn’t disappeared. it’s the same smile.
“so,” he says finally, leaning back slightly. “you ended up here too.”
you lower your eyes toward the menu to avoid looking at him too directly. his gaze still affects you too easily. warmth creeps slowly into your cheeks under the weight of it.
“how’s it been?” he asks. “settling in, i mean.”
you trace your thumb absentmindedly along the laminated edge of the menu.
“it’s good,” you say quietly. “i’m happy here.”
then, after a second: “i think i’m doing okay.”
jaehee’s expression softens immediately. “i’m glad,” he says, and there’s something painfully sincere about the way he says it. “really.”
you don’t think anyone has ever looked this relieved to hear you’re happy. it makes you nervous in a way that feels almost unbearable. sitting across from him like this feels strangely unreal, like stepping back into a dream you already abandoned. except now he feels a bit older, taller. his voice sits deeper in his chest when he speaks. and he’s still looking at you with that same careful attention that once kept you awake at night.
you realize suddenly that your hands are trembling slightly beneath the table.
“how about you?” you ask quickly, mostly to redirect your thoughts. “how was your summer?”
jaehee laughs softly. the sound settles somewhere deep inside you immediately, familiar enough to ache.
“it was alright,” he says. “pretty boring, honestly.”
he glances toward the window for a second before looking back at you again. “college has been fun though. weird too.”
he smiles faintly. “everyone talks about freedom before you get here, but i didn’t really get it until now. suddenly nobody tells you what to do anymore. you can stay awake until four in the morning if you want. skip class. eat cake for dinner.”
you laugh quietly. his face brightens a little at the sound.
“i probably sound stupid,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. “sorry. i’m just…” he hesitates. “really nervous right now.”
you blink. “you’re nervous?” the smile tugging at your mouth grows before you can stop it. “the jaehee?”
he groans softly and drops his head for a second, laughing into his hand. “don’t say it like that.”
“like what?”
“like i’m some guy.”
you look at him for a moment longer than you mean to. to you, he always had been.
jaehee lifts his eyes again eventually, and this time there’s something quieter inside them. something honest.
“if i’m being really honest,” he says slowly, “i never thought i’d see you again.”
the noise of the diner seems to blur faintly around the edges after that.
plates clatter somewhere nearby. a waitress laughs at something near the counter. outside the windows, headlights sweep past in streaks of pale light. but all you can focus on is him.
“ever,” he adds quietly.
his fingers drum once against the table before stilling again.
“seeing you tonight kind of feels like…” he exhales through a soft laugh. “i don’t know. like i got handed a second chance or something.”
you stare at him. “me?”
the word leaves your mouth before you can stop it. somewhere inside yourself, despite everything changing, despite college and new friends and becoming someone easier to love, part of you still believes you are fundamentally forgettable. still believes you were simply the quiet girl from the back row.
jaehee looks at you like the question itself pains him.
“yeah,” he says gently. “you.” his expression shifts then, becoming thoughtful.
“i always wished i talked to you more in high school.”
you feel your pulse quicken. he looks down briefly before continuing.
“i think i was scared.” the confession lands softly between you, almost shy.
you think about the boy you used to watch laughing easily with everyone around him. the boy who seemed completely untouched by fear.
and somehow, impossibly, he had been afraid of you too. or maybe not afraid of you exactly. afraid of wanting you too much.
“i’d really like to see you again,” he says after a while.
his voice has gone quieter now. steadier.
“after tonight, i mean.” he smiles a little, almost embarrassed by his own sincerity. “if you want.”
you lower your eyes because looking at him directly feels dangerous suddenly. your throat tightens unexpectedly.
when you finally manage to nod, his entire face brightens in a way that makes your chest ache. like you’ve just given him something important.
after that night, you and jaehee stop going a single day without speaking.
it happens naturally.
first texts that stretch later into the night than either of you intend. then phone calls while walking back from class. then dinners together, study sessions, wandering through convenience stores at midnight because jaehee suddenly wanted ice cream.
he slips into your life so easily it frightens you sometimes. like he had always belonged there.
you begin noticing things about him constantly.
not dramatic things, but small things. the way he always slows his walking pace without mentioning it so you can keep beside him comfortably. the way he remembers your favorite drink order after hearing it once. the way he listens to you with his entire attention, like your thoughts deserve space in the world.
his kindness is effortless.
that’s what unsettles you most. it isn’t performative kindness, not the kind people wear so others will praise them for it. jaehee’s kindness exists quietly, naturally, in the background of everything he does.
like breathing.
sometimes he reaches for your hand absentmindedly while talking and doesn’t seem to realize he’s doing it. sometimes he looks at you with such open fondness that you have to glance away first. sometimes you catch him staring when he thinks you aren’t paying attention.
those moments affect you more than they should.
because the few scraps of affection you received from him in high school once felt powerful enough to survive on for months. this is different. this is constant, deeper. more terrifying.
one evening you lie beside him in his dorm room while rain taps softly against the windows. your head rests against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm beneath your ear while his fingers drift lazily through your hair.
the room smells faintly like detergent and coffee. his roommate isn’t home.
everything feels unbearably peaceful. you stare at the dim light pooling across the ceiling and think, suddenly, that happiness always feels temporary when you finally touch it. like something borrowed.
“what are you thinking about?” jaehee asks quietly.
you tilt your face slightly toward him. he brushes a strand of hair away from your forehead with such gentleness it almost hurts. you smile faintly. “how happy i am right now.”
he hums softly. “you always say that.”
“because i never thought this would happen to me.”
jaehee smiles in that fond, helpless way he does whenever you say something that breaks his heart a little. “you always say that too.”
his hand settles against the side of your face. after a moment, he speaks again, quieter this time. “i’ve liked you for a really long time, yn.”
your chest tightens.
“remember what i told you the night we met again?”
you nod slowly against him. “that it felt like you got a second chance.”
“yeah.”
he looks down at you then with an expression so soft it almost feels sacred. “i think maybe we were always supposed to find each other again.”
your throat aches unexpectedly.
“i like you too much for it not to be you.”
the words settle inside you slowly. you push yourself up slightly so you can look at him properly.
his eyes are sleepy and affectionate beneath the dim room light. his hair falls softly across his forehead. he looks at you like you are something worth protecting.
“i like you a lot too, daeng,” you whisper.
his smile appears instantly. then he kisses you slowly and gently the way he always does, like he’s afraid of rushing something precious.
his thumbs brush softly against your cheeks while he kisses you, and suddenly you can feel all of it at once. all the love sitting quietly inside him. all the care. all the tenderness he gives you so naturally.
it overwhelms you. your chest tightens painfully. before you realize it, you’re pulling away. the distance appears between you too quickly.
jaehee stills immediately.
you look down instead of at him, settling your head back against his chest like hiding there might save you from explaining yourself. because some part of you still cannot understand how someone like him could love you this gently without eventually regretting it.
his hand hesitates briefly before returning to your hair. careful, always so careful with you.
“can we play xbox now?” you ask softly after a while. you force yourself to smile a little when you look up at him. jaehee smiles back, but this one is smaller. fainter around the edges.
without saying anything, he sits up and reaches for the controller across the room before placing it carefully into your hands. you hate the guilt that arrives immediately afterward. hate the way disappointment flickers across his face even when he’s trying to hide it from you.
when he starts to move away from the bed, you catch his wrist gently. “you’re not playing with me?”
“you can start without me,” he says. his voice remains soft. it’s always soft with you.
“i’m making our reservation for saturday.”
“reservation?” you blink up at him. “for what?”
he glances back over his shoulder. “that steak place downtown.”
you stare at him for a second, then laugh quietly. “baby,” you murmur, “it’s only our three month anniversary.”
jaehee’s expression changes immediately. serious now. earnest in that way that always catches you off guard. “yeah,” he says simply. “and i waited two years to have you properly.”
your heart stumbles again.
he looks at you for another second before speaking more quietly. “i want to celebrate every month i get with you.”
something warm unfolds slowly inside your chest. you always knew jaehee was romantic in the quiet ways that mattered. but sometimes his sincerity still catches you unprepared, arriving so honestly that you don’t know what to do with it.
you look down at the controller in your lap so he won’t see how affected you are.
“you’re too lovely for me,” you mumble eventually.
he hears you anyway. of course he does.
the dinner happens a week later.
even before jaehee arrives, you know you look beautiful. not in an arrogant way, but quietly. your curls fall perfectly for once. your dress fits like it belongs to you. when you look at yourself in the mirror, you almost understand what jaehee sees.
almost.
when he picks you up, he stops walking for half a second after the door opens. then he smiles so brightly you feel shy immediately. he’s holding flowers. of course he is. somehow they match your dress perfectly.
“wow,” he says softly. the word leaves him like breath. he presses a kiss against your cheek before you can respond, lingering just long enough to make your pulse flutter.
“every time i see you,” he murmurs near your ear, “i feel like the luckiest guy alive.”
you spend the entire drive trying not to smile too hard.
inside the restaurant, warm golden light pools across polished tables and wine glasses. jaehee keeps his hand against your waist while walking beside you, fingers spread gently like he wants reassurance you’re really there.
you like how small you feel next to him. safe, somehow. like if the world became too loud, he would quietly move in front of you and soften it.
the waiter seats you near the corner by a dim lamp and asks casually whether you’re celebrating anything special tonight.
before you can answer, jaehee says:
“our one year anniversary.”
your eyes widen immediately.
the waiter congratulates you warmly while jaehee squeezes your hand beneath the table like he’s trying not to laugh. once the waiter leaves, you stare at him across the candlelight. “why would you say that?”
he shrugs easily. “it’s not technically impossible.”
you laugh despite yourself. he watches you the entire time like your happiness is something worth memorizing.
later, when the food arrives, jaehee cuts your steak for you without thinking much about it. you find yourself staring at his hands. then his wrists. then the shape of his forearms beneath the rolled sleeves of his sweater.
before you can stop yourself, the words slip out. “everything about you is attractive.”
jaehee looks up immediately, caught off guard. “oh?”
you nod, suddenly unable to become shy about it. “your hands. your arms. your face.” you pause. “everything.”
he stares at you for a second like he can’t fully process what he’s hearing. then he laughs softly. “it’s good to know you actually like me too.”
your chest twists strangely at the joke.
“what?”
the word leaves you more quietly than intended. because haven’t you been trying to show him? haven’t you been loving him with everything you have?
before you can ask what he means, another voice interrupts, bright and familiar.
“jaehee?”
your stomach drops instantly.
you recognize her before she even fully steps toward the table.
she was beautiful in high school in the effortless kind of way that made other people rearrange themselves around her. teachers adored her. classmates orbited her naturally. she always seemed lit from within somehow. the sort of girl who belonged beside someone like jaehee.
she smiles at you politely, but you know immediately she doesn’t remember you at all.
jaehee smiles back easily. “hey. wow, it’s been forever.”
while they speak, you sit quietly beside him, hands folded carefully in your lap.
you remember her laughing with him in classrooms years ago, and how naturally they occupied the same spaces. she tells him about the nearby college she attends now. tells him she noticed him from across the restaurant and almost couldn’t believe it.
then jaehee turns toward you without hesitation. “it was nice seeing a familiar face again,” he says, smiling softly at you.
your chest tightens.
the girl blinks. “wait,” she says. “you two knew each other before?”
she looks at you apologetically, blankly. “i don’t think i do,” she admits.
then, after a second:
“but i definitely would’ve remembered someone this pretty.”
you smile politely because it feels expected.
jaehee laughs under his breath. “we all had math together for like two years.”
“it’s okay,” you say quietly. “i was really shy back then.”
the girl’s expression softens.
“that’s such a shame,” she says. “we probably would’ve been friends.”
you nod politely again even though you know that isn’t true.
girls like her didn’t notice girls like you back then, not really. people like you now because you learned how to become easier to love. you learned how to speak more clearly. smile at the right moments. dress better. hide the lonelier parts of yourself beneath prettier ones.
after she leaves, something inside you shifts quietly.
your appetite disappears. you push food around your plate while jaehee talks, still smiling softly at you from across the table, completely unaware of the spiral beginning beneath your skin.
because suddenly all you can think is this:
someone like him should be with someone like her, bright and effortless who shines naturally in every room they enter. not someone who spent most of her life trying to disappear.
the next week, the thoughts return so quietly you almost mistake them for instinct.
they arrive while you’re brushing your teeth in the morning. while waiting for your coffee to cool. while staring at yourself in bathroom mirrors too long. small thoughts at first, harmless enough on their own.
someone like him should be with someone brighter, someone easier. someone who doesn’t have to think so hard about being loved.
you try to ignore them.
but thoughts like that rarely disappear once they find somewhere comfortable to live.
the library is louder than usual that afternoon.
someone nearby keeps laughing too hard at things that aren’t funny, and every few minutes a chair scrapes loudly against the floor. sunlight filters weakly through the tall windows, turning the dust in the air gold for a second before it disappears again.
you sit beside jaehee at the long wooden table while his friends spread notebooks and laptops around you in messy piles.
you only came because he asked. because when jaehee looks at you hopefully and says come with me, it becomes difficult to say no to anything.
still, by the time you arrive, you can already feel yourself rationing energy carefully inside your own body. measuring out pieces of your attention. saving enough warmth for him so he won’t notice how tired your mind feels lately.
jaehee, meanwhile, looks completely natural here.
he leans back in his chair laughing at something one of his friends says, eyes crinkling softly at the corners. people speak over each other constantly around him, conversations splitting and reconnecting like tangled strings, but somehow he keeps up with all of it effortlessly.
you watch him while pretending to read over your notes. you’ve always loved seeing him like this, comfortable and wanted. people gravitate toward him without realizing they’re doing it. his presence softens rooms. fills silence naturally. even now, surrounded by loud voices and overlapping conversations, everyone still seems faintly tuned toward him, waiting for his reaction, his laugh, his attention.
you realize suddenly that you still don’t know how to exist like that.
you thought maybe college had changed you more than it actually had.
but sitting here beside people who speak so easily, who interrupt each other confidently and take up space without apology, you feel that familiar shrinking sensation beginning again inside your chest. like everyone else learned something about living that you somehow missed.
the conversation shifts toward bad professors. someone across the table complains dramatically about a chemistry lecture, and another person immediately joins in. everyone begins talking at once.
you open your mouth carefully. “i had a professor like that too last semes—” your voice disappears beneath the noise almost instantly.
nobody notices. the conversation keeps moving forward without pausing long enough for you to catch up again.
heat crawls slowly up your neck. you lower your eyes toward your notebook and pretend not to mind.
then, gently, someone nudges your arm. “you did?”
you look up. jaehee is already watching you. his chin rests loosely against his hand, expression soft with attention, like your unfinished sentence was the most important thing he heard all afternoon.
your chest tightens unexpectedly.
“yeah,” you mumble. suddenly your throat feels too dry to continue. you hadn’t even realized he was listening to you at all.
his eyes linger on your face for another second. “you okay?” he asks quietly.
he leans closer when he says it, voice dropping instinctively softer for you than it is for anyone else.
your pulse stutters painfully.
he’s always like this, paying attention and noticing the smallest shifts in you before anyone else can.
immediately the questions begin again, cruel and familiar.
do you deserve someone who looks at you this carefully?
is this really love, or is jaehee simply kind enough to make anyone feel special?
how could someone like him possibly want someone like you this much?
what exactly did he see in you all those years ago?
“jesus,” one of his friends groans suddenly from across the table. “you two are disgusting.”
everyone laughs.
“seriously,” another says. “i can’t even focus with all the staring.”
you feel your face burn instantly. jaehee only smiles. not embarrassed or defensive—just quietly pleased. he glances toward you again afterward, eyes warm in that unbearable way they always are.
“how’d you guys even meet?” someone asks a second later.
you instinctively part your lips to answer, but jaehee speaks first.
“i liked her forever in high school,” he says simply. the words land so casually that for a second nobody reacts.
then someone whistles dramatically across the table.
jaehee laughs under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “we just didn’t start dating until last semester.”
he looks at you when he says it. directly at you. like even now, after finally having you, the fact still feels unreal to him.
“crazy, right?”
the conversation shifts again almost immediately after that. someone starts talking about dorm parties. someone else complains about midterms. laughter rises and falls around you in waves, but you barely hear any of it. because your chest still aches strangely from hearing him say it aloud so easily.
i liked her forever.
as if loving you had always been obvious to him.
jaehee keeps checking on you throughout the afternoon.
small glances, small touches. his knee brushing yours beneath the table. his hand sliding absentmindedly across the back of your chair.
every time he laughs, his eyes find you automatically afterward, like some part of him needs to make sure you’re still there too. and somehow, that only makes the ache inside you worse. because the more openly he loves you, the less you understand why.
the change begins quietly after that.
it happens so quietly neither of you fully notice it at first.
it starts with your kisses. not the kisses themselves, exactly, but the endings of them.
where you once melted easily into him, now something in you hesitates. your lips still meet his softly, your hands still curl against his sweater, but the moment his affection becomes too visible, too sincere, panic flickers somewhere deep inside your chest.
you pull away earlier now. sometimes right when his hands settle at your waist. sometimes when his thumbs brush too tenderly against your cheeks. or when he kisses you with too much feeling and you suddenly cannot bear being looked at so lovingly.
every time, jaehee pauses, but he never complains. he only presses his forehead gently against yours afterward, breathing quietly while he waits for you to settle again.
like he’s afraid of startling you. like he thinks patience alone might protect whatever fragile thing has started forming between you.
then your texts begin changing too.
once, your conversations stretched endlessly into the night. rambling thoughts. blurry photos. voice messages filled with half-finished sentences and laughter.
now your replies grow shorter without meaning to.
i’m okay.
just tired.
miss you too.
the words still say the right things, but something inside them has thinned. even you can feel it.
jaehee notices too.
late at night, lying alone in bed, he rereads your messages searching for signs he missed earlier. some hidden shift in tone, or some mistake he made accidentally, but he can’t find one.
when you’re together, you seem present and distant at the same time. you still smile at him, but your smiles disappear faster now.
sometimes you sit curled beside him with your hands folded tightly in your lap, shoulders slightly hunched inward, unconsciously trying to make yourself smaller again. jaehee notices that too. he notices everything about you.
the way you say you’re tired more often lately. the way your eyes drift somewhere unreachable in the middle of conversations. the way you rest against his chest without fully relaxing into him anymore. like part of you remains tense even in his arms.
“you okay?” he asks one evening while brushing his fingers through your hair. always gently. always softly.
you nod too quickly.
“yeah,” you whisper. “i’m fine.”
jaehee wants to believe you, so he does. or at least he tries to.
but afterward he starts holding you longer when you hug him goodbye. starts kissing your forehead more carefully. starts watching your face when he says something affectionate, like he’s trying to memorize where your reactions changed.
when you pull away from kisses now, he lets you. even though disappointment flashes briefly across his face before he hides it again, because hurting you is the last thing he ever wants to do.
at night, when you fall asleep curled beside him, jaehee stays awake longer than usual.
the room remains dark except for the faint glow of streetlights slipping through the blinds.
he listens quietly to your breathing against his chest. he counts the slow rise and fall of it and wonders when exactly you started feeling so far away from him.
he doesn’t know the reason yet. he only knows something inside you is hurting and whatever it is, you’ve decided to carry it alone.
being home again feels wrong in a way you can’t properly explain.
nothing here has changed.
the same framed photos still line the hallway walls. the same clock in the kitchen ticks too loudly at night. even the air feels identical to the one you left behind months ago, heavy and still and impossible to escape once it settles inside your lungs.
your childhood bedroom looks smaller now, or maybe you’re the one who changed.
when your parents mention driving an hour away to visit relatives for the weekend, you shake your head before they even finish asking.
“i’m just not really feeling up to it,” you murmur.
they accept the answer easily.
you’re grateful for that because the truth is you can already feel yourself unraveling here. being back home resurrects parts of yourself you thought you left behind when you moved away for college.
the loneliness returns first, then the silence. you’d forgotten how loud silence could become in this house.
during high school, entire afternoons used to pass without anyone saying your name once. you remember sitting alone in your room while daylight slowly disappeared outside your window, feeling time stretch endlessly around you like something living.
you remember walking through school hallways convinced nobody would notice if you vanished midway through the day.
you remember sitting beside classroom windows watching seasons change outside while your own life remained painfully still.
except for him.
jaehee existed in those memories like warmth exists inside winter. small at first, then suddenly everywhere. you remember the sound of his voice saying good morning to you each day like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you remember how shocking it felt the first time someone looked genuinely happy to see you.
how his smile reached you before his words ever did. soft, bright, real. there were mornings when that smile alone carried you through entire days.
sometimes you think jaehee saved your life without realizing it.
you squeeze your eyes shut against the thought. because lately, you barely see him smile at all. and the worst part is knowing exactly why.
you.
the realization settles slowly inside you, cold and permanent. you think about the way he watches you now—carefully. like he’s trying not to startle something wounded.
you think about how often concern flickers across his face these days. how he hesitates before touching you sometimes, like he’s become afraid of pushing too hard and losing you completely.
you think about the exhaustion hidden underneath his gentleness lately. the dimness slowly replacing his light. he shouldn’t have to love someone this carefully.
jaehee was never meant to become cautious.
he was born to exist brightly, to laugh loudly in crowded rooms. to love freely without fear. and now every soft thing he does feels restrained by the possibility of hurting you. especially not for someone like you.
outside, rain has been falling since morning. the kind that seems furious with the earth itself. it slams against the windows relentlessly, turning the sky dark enough that afternoon resembles evening. the entire house feels submerged beneath gray light.
you sit on the edge of your bed holding your phone in both hands. jaehee’s name glows softly against the screen. your thumb hovers above it.
i need to let him go.
the thought arrives quietly. because if you love someone properly, shouldn’t you want what’s best for them?
even if what’s best means losing them?
your chest aches so badly it feels difficult to breathe.
you stare at his name one second longer before there’s a knock at your door. your entire body freezes.
another knock.
your heartbeat lurches painfully against your ribs as you stand. somehow, before opening the door, you already know it’s him. jaehee stands on the other side completely soaked through.
for a second, you can only stare.
rainwater drips steadily from his hair onto the porch beneath him. his shirt clings damply against his skin, his jacket heavy and dark with water. he’s breathing hard enough that his chest rises unevenly beneath the fabric.
he ran here.
your first instinct is immediate and overwhelming—hold him, pull him inside. wrap your arms around him and apologize for every terrible thing your mind has convinced you of these past few weeks. instead, guilt crashes into you just as quickly. the look on his face already tells you you’ve hurt him more than you realized.
“jaehee?” your voice comes out smaller than intended. “did you run here?”
without thinking, you lift your hand toward his face. toward the rainwater sliding down his skin. toward him.
but halfway there, you stop yourself. your fingers curl inward, your arm falls back to your side.
something inside jaehee visibly crumples at the sight. he closes his eyes briefly, lips pressing together hard enough to tremble, like even that small hesitation wounded him.
when he opens his eyes again, they look unbearably tired.
“i can’t do this anymore, yn.”
your stomach drops instantly. there it is. the ending you’ve been preparing yourself for. still, hearing it aloud feels like stepping off something tall unexpectedly.
“you…” your voice catches painfully. “you can’t do this anymore?”
tears sting immediately behind your eyes. jaehee drags both hands down his soaked face. “i can’t,” he says again, but this time his voice breaks apart halfway through the sentence. “i can’t.”
rain hammers against the roof around you. somewhere in the distance, thunder rolls low across the sky.
“come inside,” you whisper desperately. “please. let’s just talk inside.”
“no.” he shakes his head instantly. water flicks from his hair with the motion. “i’m not going inside until you tell me what i did wrong.”
you stop breathing. for a second, you genuinely think you misheard him. “…what?”
his expression twists. “i did something wrong,” he says, voice cracking open completely now. “right? that’s why you’ve been pulling away from me?”
he swallows hard. “that’s why you don’t like me anymore?”
your heart breaks so suddenly it almost feels physical. out of every possible explanation, that’s the one he chose. that you stopped loving him.
“do you still like me, yn?” he asks quietly. the hope in his eyes almost destroys you. small, fragile, still there anyway.
you open your mouth. nothing comes out. the silence stretches too long. you watch the exact moment something inside him dims.
he laughs weakly then, but the sound barely resembles one. “okay,” he says softly, nodding to himself more than to you. “okay. i’m sorry for coming here. i shouldn’t have.”
rainwater mixes with tears on his face so completely you can’t separate them anymore.
“just pretend this never happened.” he turns and starts walking back into the storm.
“jaehee.” your voice disappears beneath the rain.
he keeps walking. panic tears through you instantly.
“jaehee!” louder this time.
your body moves before your thoughts can catch up. you run after him into the rain without shoes, without a jacket, without caring how cold it feels. water soaks through your clothes immediately. “jaehee!”
finally he stops and turns around slowly. the expression on his face steals the air from your lungs. he looks devastated.
“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you cry. the words barely leave your mouth before sobs begin shaking through you.
jaehee’s face twists. “then talk to me,” he pleads. “please. just tell me where all of this went wrong.”
you want to move closer to him. you want to let him hold you. shame keeps your feet rooted painfully in place.
“i never meant to hurt you,” you whisper through tears. “i’m just not good for you, daeng.”
his brows pull together immediately, like the sentence itself makes no sense to him. “…what?”
rain pours down both of you mercilessly now.
“since we started dating,” you sob, “you’re the only one who’s been happy because of this. all i do is make you worry. you’ve become this…” your voice cracks violently. “this shell of yourself around me.” you can barely breathe anymore. the words spill out too quickly to stop now.
“the smile that made me fall in love with you is gone because of me.”
jaehee’s face crumples completely.
“being back here made me realize something,” you continue shakily. “back then, seeing you every day was the only reason i wanted to go to school at all.” your shoulders shake violently.
“just thinking maybe you’d say hi to me that morning meant everything.” a broken laugh escapes you.
“your smile represented a life worth living to me, jaehee.”
his eyes shine instantly.
“and now i’m the reason you barely smile.” you wrap your arms around yourself instinctively, trying to contain the shaking inside your body.
“someone like you shouldn’t be with someone like me.” the sentence tastes old and familiar, like something you’ve believed your entire life.
“you deserve someone brighter. someone unforgettable. someone who shines the way you do.”
your voice drops into something smaller. “not someone this easy to lose.”
“yn,” jaehee says desperately, closing the distance between you in two quick steps. “you’re not making any sense.”
his hands cup your face despite the rain. warm even now. gentle even now.
“you were the reason i smiled back then, too,” he says.
his voice breaks halfway through.
“you know that, right?”
you shake your head immediately because no—how could that possibly be true?
“no,” he says quickly, reading your expression instantly. “no, you couldn’t have known. but i need you to hear me now.” his hands tremble slightly against your cheeks.
“i need you to believe me.”
“i do,” you whisper automatically.
“no, you don’t.” his voice rises for the first time, raw with hurt.
“you don’t believe anything i say about you.”
rainwater clings to his lashes as he looks at you like he’s trying to reach inside your chest and pull the truth out himself.
“you have no idea what you mean to me, yn.”
“because why would someone like me mean anything to someone like you?” you cry back suddenly. the words rip out of you before you can stop them.
something inside jaehee breaks visibly at hearing them. “what does that even mean?” he asks. his voice sounds wrecked now, completely wrecked.
every terrible thought you’ve carried quietly for years begins to spill out.
“i’ve always felt small,” you sob. “like i barely exist half the time. like if i disappeared nobody would really notice.”
jaehee’s hands tighten around your face instinctively, but you keep going.
“i spent my whole life believing i was replaceable,” you cry. “that there’s always someone prettier or louder or easier to love waiting right behind me.”
your breath catches painfully in your chest. “being with you felt impossible.” your voice weakens. “like i stole happiness that belonged to somebody else.”
you look at him through blurred vision. “every morning i woke up expecting you to realize i wasn’t enough.” the confession leaves you shaking.
“you made me feel seen,” you whisper brokenly. “do you understand that? being with you is the happiest i’ve ever been in my entire life.” your body folds inward with the force of your sobbing.
“and i want to stay,” you cry. “i want to stay with you so badly. but my head keeps telling me i ruin everything i touch.”
rain streams endlessly down both your faces.
“i’m scared i’ll keep hurting you,” you whisper. “i’m scared i’ll keep pulling away until eventually you stop loving me.” your chest aches so badly it feels unbearable now. “i don’t want to be this way anymore.”
before you can say anything else, jaehee pulls you into him.
like he physically cannot stand another second with distance between you. his arms lock around you tightly beneath the rain. you feel his heartbeat slamming wildly against your cheek.
“i love you,” he says into your wet hair, certain and fierce.
“and you need to start believing that because it’s true.” his voice trembles.
“i’m not leaving you.”
you cry harder against him.
“none of those things matter to me,” he continues desperately. “the things you hate about yourself. nobody sees you the way you see yourself, yn.”
he pulls back just enough to look at you again. his eyes are red now. “everyone loves you.” the conviction in his voice hurts almost as much as the tenderness. “you’re incredible because you’re you.”
his thumb brushes shakily beneath your eye. “and i’m in love with you.”
you stare at him helplessly.
rain runs down the bridge of his nose, through his lashes, across his trembling mouth.
“i only stopped smiling because i thought i was losing you,” he whispers. “i thought i ruined us somehow.”
his forehead presses against yours. “but if you let me keep loving you…” his voice softens into something unbearably gentle. “i’ll smile again. i promise.”
something inside your chest finally gives way then, like unclenching a fist you didn’t realize you’d held for years. you nod through tears.
“you don’t have to carry everything alone anymore,” jaehee whispers.
his hands cradle your face like something precious.
“lean on me.”
rain pours around both of you endlessly.
“trust me.”
you close your eyes. for the first time in weeks, the storm inside your head quiets slightly. not gone, but quieter.
“you said you’re the only one who’s happy because of this,” jaehee murmurs. “but just being near you makes me happier than anything else in my life.” his mouth trembles into the faintest smile. “even thinking about you makes me smile.”
then he kisses you.
this time, when his love reaches for you, you don’t run from it. you let yourself stay.
you cry into the kiss and feel him doing the same, rainwater and tears blending together until neither of you can tell them apart anymore.
the storm continues raging around you, wild and alive. but held in his arms like this, you begin wondering if maybe love was never something you had to earn through becoming smaller.
maybe it was always supposed to feel like being found.
by the time you and jaehee make it back to your house, neither of you are crying anymore.
the storm still follows behind you in soft echoes. rain taps steadily against the roof while you unlock the front door with trembling fingers, the sleeves of your sweatshirt still damp at the cuffs.
you suddenly become hyperaware of everything. the sound of your breathing. the wet footprints trailing behind the two of you across the hardwood floor. the fact that jaehee is standing inside the place where you once spent years feeling painfully alone.
for a second, neither of you speak. you disappear briefly into the hallway closet and return with a towel.
“here,” you murmur softly.
jaehee takes it from you carefully, like even now he’s afraid sudden movements might scare you away again.
his fingers brush yours. warm. you can’t remember the last time touch felt this fragile. without really thinking about it, your hand slips into his. your fingers interlock naturally, automatically, and relief moves quietly through your chest when he squeezes back immediately.
you lead him upstairs.
your bedroom door creaks softly when you push it open. jaehee steps inside slowly. his eyes move across the room with quiet curiosity, taking in pieces of you that existed long before he did.
the old bookshelf beside your desk. the fading photographs tucked into the corner of your mirror. the small lamp near your bed casting everything in warm gold light. for some reason, having him here makes your chest ache.
you move toward your overnight bag quickly before you can think too hard about it.
rummaging through it, you pull out a folded sweatshirt and sweatpants. his sweatshirt. his sweatpants.
you freeze for half a second after realizing what you’ve just revealed accidentally. because of course they’re his. you brought them home selfishly, for nights when you missed him too much.
when you finally turn around and hand them to him, your cheeks already feel warm.
jaehee looks down at the clothes, then back at you. he laughs softly. not mockingly. something gentler than that. fond enough to make your stomach twist.
you look away immediately.
“i just…” you mumble, embarrassed now in a way that feels strangely domestic after everything that happened outside. “i liked wearing them.”
his expression softens so visibly it almost hurts to look at. you clear your throat quickly before the warmth in your chest becomes unbearable.
“i, um…” your voice catches awkwardly. “i don’t think i have underwear for you to change into.”
silence. then jaehee laughs again, brighter this time. his wet hair falls into his eyes slightly when he does. you think it might be the first real laugh you’ve heard from him in weeks. the sound makes something unclench inside you instantly.
“i think i’ll survive,” he says.
your face burns harder. he watches you for another second with obvious affection before finally disappearing into the bathroom to change.
the moment the door clicks shut, you exhale shakily. your room suddenly feels smaller with him inside it. more intimate. like every object surrounding you now carries the possibility of being noticed by him.
you change quickly into one of his oversized t shirts and a pair of soft shorts, pulling the fabric over your skin carefully. the shirt smells faintly like his detergent still, like him.
you don’t bother putting on a bra.
for once, the thought of being perceived by him doesn’t immediately make you panic. it only makes your heartbeat soften strangely.
jaehee steps out of the bathroom after changing. his damp hair curls slightly near his forehead. the sleeves of his sweatshirt swallow his hands halfway. you realize suddenly that you’ve never seen him look this soft before.
quietly, the two of you gather the soaked clothes from earlier. your fingers brush occasionally while stuffing fabric into the washer downstairs. neither of you let the other drift too far away for even a second.
when you return upstairs, jaehee sits back carefully against your bed frame with a tired exhale. the mattress dips beneath his weight.
his eyes drift slowly around the room again. “so this is your room,” he says softly.
you lean against your desk for a moment before smiling faintly. “the one and only.” the words leave you lighter than expected. maybe because he’s here now. maybe because this room no longer feels entirely lonely.
jaehee’s gaze lingers on you. there’s still something almost disbelieving in the way he looks at you tonight. like he keeps remembering he almost lost this. almost lost you.
“it’s nice,” he murmurs.
you shrug awkwardly. then, after a small pause, you admit quietly:
“you’re actually the only person who’s ever been in here.” you hesitate. “other than my parents.”
the room falls silent afterward.
you watch the realization settle slowly across jaehee’s face. suddenly you can tell he doesn’t know whether to smile or feel heartbroken. because to him, it means trust. but it also means loneliness. years of it.
before either of you say anything else, jaehee reaches for you. his hands slide around your waist gently, pulling you closer until you’re standing between his knees.
the movement feels instinctive. his forehead presses briefly against your stomach through the thin fabric of his shirt. for a second, neither of you move at all.
you look down at him quietly.
his hair is still slightly damp beneath your fingers when you begin brushing them through it absentmindedly. soft strokes. careful ones.
jaehee closes his eyes almost immediately at the touch.
his arms tighten around your waist.
you continue running your fingers through his hair while rain murmurs softly against the windows behind you.
and standing there in the middle of your childhood bedroom, with jaehee holding you like you’re something worth protecting, you realize this is the first time the room has ever felt warm.
the feeling makes you want to share your warmth in the only way you can think of.
you play with his hair for another minute, running the damp strands between your fingers. then you move your hands to cradle his face. the sudden gesture makes jaehee loosen his hold on your waist.
you lean down until your lips find his.
when you kiss him first, jaehee’s eyes widen in surprise. he can’t remember the last time you initiated any form of physical affection. but now your thumbs are brushing over his cheeks, and you’re kissing him with everything you have. he melts into you immediately, kissing you back with the same quiet desperation.
jaehee rises to his feet without breaking the kiss. his hands move from your face to your shoulders, then back to your waist. he gathers the fabric of your shirt in his fists as he kisses you clumsily, and your hands wander over his broad frame. when your cold fingers slip beneath the hem of his shirt and brush against his skin, his entire body shivers.
a soft groan escapes him when you flatten your palms against his bare back, pulling him impossibly close. he can feel your chest against his through both of your shirts before his grip tightens around your waist and he gently guides you backward onto the bed.
you crawl toward the pillows, your eyes never leaving his. your chest rises and falls with every breath.
jaehee pulls his shirt over his head, and you notice that he’s breathing just as hard.
the moment he climbs over you again, you’re reaching for him.
your hands move along his back for the first time in what feels like forever, tracing familiar lines as the muscles beneath your palms shift and flex. jaehee catches your bottom lip briefly between his, and your hands drift to his arms.
you’d forgotten how sturdy he is. how safe he feels.
why couldn’t you lean on him?
jaehee’s hands tremble slightly as they find the hem of your shirt. you feel the hesitation in his touch when his palms settle gently against the bare skin above your shorts. your breath catches when his thumbs begin tracing small, absent circles there.
you finally pull back just enough to rest your forehead against his.
a small smile tugs at your lips.
jaehee watches you patiently.
he’ll do whatever you want him to.
you can see it in his eyes.
slowly, you shift until you’re straddling his waist and he’s lying beneath you.
for a moment, you simply stay there.
your fingers leave light trails along his collarbone, down the center of his chest, and across the firm planes of his stomach. when you lean down, pressing soft kisses against his jaw and along the curve of his neck, quiet sounds leave him before he can stop them.
jaehee decides then that he’s entirely at your mercy.
eventually, you sit up again.
the oversized shirt pools around your hips where you’re sitting on top of him. your fingers find the hem and curl around the fabric.
before you can lift it, jaehee places his hand gently over yours.
you pause.
“yn—”
“i want to,” you blurt out.
his eyes widen slightly.
for a second, neither of you speak.
“do you want to?” you ask quietly, searching his face.
jaehee looks at you for a long moment before nodding.
“yeah,” he says softly.
you can feel jaehee growing underneath you with every inch of skin you reveal. when your shirt is fully pulled off, the brown in jaehee’s eyes are almost completely lost to his blown out pupils. you lean down just slightly, guiding your hand to your chest.
“please touch me,” you say gently. “i want to feel warm again.”
jaehee’s eyes move from your chest to your eyes.
he understands now, nodding his head again. his hands cup both of your breasts, spilling out between his fingers.
“you’re beautiful, yn,” he tells you as he cups you in his hands. you let out a soft sigh at the feeling of his hands. his groping only gets rougher as your noises encourage him.
he leans up to take a nipple in his mouth, his tongue laving the mound as his other hand pinches your other nipple.
“i love you,” he switches his attention to your other breast, and you can feel the air cooling his spit.
your hips shift forward at his words and he groans with your chest in his mouth. your hands find his hair again and keep his face buried there.
he pulls away to look at you, his pupils blown. you smile at him and lean down to find his lips again and you can feel him smile into the kiss, too.
jaehee’s hands move to your ass, pressing you against him. both of you groan at the feeling.
you’ve dry humped before, but never with both of you topless. “fuck,” you say, feeling the size his length through his sweatpants. it makes sense, for someone with jaehee’s height and build to also have a big dick. he twitches at the sound of you cursing.
jaehee maneuvers you until you’re laying down again and he’s leaning over you. he peppers kisses all over your face before his lips find your jaw and move down your throat. he sucks particularly hard where your neck meets your shoulder, then soothes the area with his tongue.
you’re whimpering his name as you feel the area dry and jaehee’s hands return to your chest. jaehee brings his forehead to rest against yours as you take one of his hands in yours and slowly drag it down your body.
when you guide his fingers beneath the waistband of your shorts, jaehee thinks he might explode. he cups your heat over your panties, feeling how damp the fabric is. “yn,” he chokes out in a strained voice, chest heaving as his fingers rubs your folds over the fabric.
“feels good,” you nod at him with a sigh.
your small sounds encourage jaehee to keep rubbing your folds. he wants to draw out more from you, speeding his fingers up. when your breathing starts to increase, jaehee’s hands move to the waistband of your shorts and panties.
“can i?” he asks you, looking deep into your eyes.
“please, jaehee,” you breathe out. jaehee rids you of your clothing and moans at the sight of you fully bare for him. he twitches in his pants when he realizes he can see your wetness coating your core. under his attention, you suddenly feel shy, turning your head away from him.
“baby, you’re beautiful,” he whispers, turning your head back towards him with a finger under your chin. too easily, your eyes find the bulge in his pants, and a small wet spot forming. the sight makes your mouth water.
jaehee leans over you again, his mouth finding yours momentarily while his fingers explore you for the first time. your whole body jerks when he touches your clit, and you feel a new wave of wetness.
“i can’t believe this is all for me,” jaehee says in awe, pulling back to look at you again. his words are in genuine amazement, completely infatuated by you.
“your body is so hot,” he continues, using his middle finger and thumb to spread you out. you moan at both his words and his touch.
his fingers spread your slick from your entrance to your folds and clit. when jaehee puts his middle finger inside of you, a moan escapes your lips. “oh my god.”
jaehee pulls his finger out just to thrust it back in. next, he adds his index finger and curls them inside of you. you’ve never felt anything like this before, and neither has jaehee.
“you’re so soft inside,” he says. his bulge is almost getting to be painful at this point, but he’s completely focused on how he’s making you feel. your walls clamp down on jaehee’s fingers, so he decided to say more. “you’re so warm, yn.”
jaehee speeds up the pace of his fingers almost immediately, and you can’t even find any words to say. the only sounds in the room are the squelching of his fingers inside of you and your broken cries and whimpers. his other hand finds it way to your chest again, and you’re completely overwhelmed by everything jaehee.
just as the winding in your stomach is almost at its peak, jaehee pulls his fingers out of you. he brings them to his mouth and you watch him suck them clean. your eyes stay on him as he moves to take off his sweatpants.
“come here,” you coo sweetly when his final garment is removed. the size of jaehee slightly intimidates you, but you’re so eager to feel him inside.
you can feel the weight of him on your stomach as he kisses you sweet and slow. you’re humming into the kiss and bring a hand down to his tip. he jerks at the feeling and bites your lip on accident. “i’m sorry,” he laughs softly, his thumb caressing your cheek as your hand spreads his precum down his shaft.
“are you ready?” he asks you with a small nod.
“yes.”
jaehee kisses your forehead and then props himself up on his elbows.
when he runs his tip along your folds, both of you twitch at the sensation. jaehee swears you feel so warm already, he isn’t sure he’ll be able to get much more than the tip in.
he heard you gasp and he paused once the tip of his cock was inside of you. he had to dig his fingers into your hips just to ground himself for a few moments.
when jaehee pushed himself deeper into you he felt as if he was going to explode, so he stilled his hips and moaned without meaning to. he had to bite back more sounds before he could speak to you.
“how does that feel?” his voice was shaking, and he swore your walls fluttered around him when he spoke to you. your eyes were screwed shut at the intrusion, waiting for the pain to give way to pleasure.
after a moment, you found the strength to speak. “it feels good, keep going.”
jaehee nodded at your wishes, pushing into you little by little. both of you moaned as he moved, new to such a foreign feeling. jaehee thinks he could die like this. he swore your body was squeezing him in so tight, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to pull out.
“let me know when it’s ok to move,” he said when he was fully sheathed. jaehee was so big and deep inside of you, you could barely process his words. you could feel him everywhere, and you’ve never felt closer to him than now.
when you let out a soft “ok,” jaehee pulls out completely. you know that he’s completely covered in you, and the realization makes your head spin.
when jaehee pushes in again, and you moan at the feeling. “so deep,” you gasp before he pulls out again.
“fuck, baby, don’t say that,” he thrusts forward and sets a slow pace, because he doesn't think he could handle much more.
your hands find jaehee’s back and pull him down to you, wanting to feel his skin on yours. both of you are moaning into each other’s mouths as his hips speed up.
“i’m close, daeng,” you breathe out, gripping his bicep.
“me, too,” his thrusts become sloppy. “where should i—”
your cries of his name cut him off as you release around him. the feeling of your walls clamping down on him spur jaehee’s own release, and you feel him spurting inside of you. jaehee stays inside of you until you’ve both calmed down.
he kisses you lazily before jerking back.
“wait, yn, i… inside—”
you giggle at his panicked eyes, pulling him back into you. “i’m on the pill, so it’s ok.”
jaehee blinks a few times before letting himself relax in your arms. “i’ll still buy you a plan b.”
“that’s very sweet.” you coo.
“i love you, yn.”
“i know, daeng. i love you, too.”
“do you really know, though?” he asked you with a playful peck on the lips.
“yeah, i can feel all of your love dripping out of me right now.”
jaehee hides his face at your words, and you laugh at his cuteness.
“i’ll clean everything up later,” he tells you. “just want to hold you right now.”
you hum. “me too. i missed you.”
jaehee’s heart skips a beat as he pulls you into him, and the two of you drift off.
a month later, you and jaehee have officially finished your first year of college.
after you submitted your final assignment, jaehee pulled you into his lap and showered you with kisses and puppy-like affection.
“jaehee!”
“what?”
“what do you mean, what?” you giggle, “what’s happening?” jaehee lands a wet kiss on your cheek. “i’m celebrating.”
his grip on your waist tightens, pulling you even closer to him.
“we can celebrate normally, you know.”
“this is normal.”
“this is an incredible amount of kisses i’m receiving.”
you brush a few bangs out of jaehee’s eyes before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. he softens under your touch.
“you know me so well,” he pouts softly. you narrow your eyes
“go ahead and tell me what you’re buttering me up for.”
“what? i would never.”
jaehee smiles at you, eyes full of adoration. it makes your heart feel warm and full.
“jaehee.”
“ok. my friend is having a little get-together to celebrate the end of the semester and i was hoping you’d come with me.”
“i see,” you push his hair back and pretend to think hard about your answer. when you tap your chin for the third time, jaehee sighs in distress.
“i guess i’ll go,” you fake sigh before grinning.
jaehee lights up. “really?”
“yeah. wouldn’t want my boyfriend to have no one to talk to, after all.”
“yeah, we couldn’t have that,” jaehee groans, playing along. “it’d be devastating.”
“tragic, even.”
“thank you for saving me,” jaehee says before buring his face into your shoulder.
the two of you arrive at jaehee’s friend's apartment, hand in hand.
“my favorite couple!” someone exclaims, and the others join in with cheers.
you find yourself smiling as jaehee gets pulled into conversations almost instantly. he looks brighter than he has in months. your chest feels warm as you watch him.
you make your way toward a group of girls gathered near the window.
halfway there, someone calls your name. you turn. it’s the girl from the restaurant, the one from high school.
she waves excitedly. “hi!”
“hi,” you answer with a surprised laugh.
“come sit with us.”
for a second, you glance across the room. jaehee catches your eye instantly, and his head tilts slightly.
you smile and nod: i'm okay.
he smiles back before somebody starts talking to him again.
the girl beside you hesitates. “i’ve actually wanted to talk to you.”
“to me?”
“yeah.”
she looks nervous now, which feels strange. once upon a time, you would've thought someone like her could never be nervous around someone like you.
“i’m sorry for not recognizing you back then.”
“really, it’s okay.”
“no, but—” she pauses. “you took care of the garden.”
you blink. “the garden?”
“behind the school.”
you stare. she laughs softly.
“i remember seeing you there all the time,” she continues. “one day after school i saw you and jaehee out there.”
you immediately laugh. “jaehee absolutely did not take care of that garden.”
“okay, maybe he mostly stood there.”
“that sounds more accurate.”
she laughs too. “i remember thinking you looked really peaceful there.”
you don't know what to say.
she fiddles with her sleeve. “i should’ve talked to you back then. i love flowers.”
“you do?”
you imagine your high school self hearing that. you don't think she would've known what to do with it. all those years, you had been so convinced nobody noticed you. and yet somebody remembered the garden, and the flowers. somebody remembered you.
“yeah.”
“why didn’t you?”
she smiles sheepishly. “i was scared.”
you blink. “scared?”
“i thought maybe it was a you-and-jaehee thing.”
you immediately start laughing. “it definitely wasn't.”
“i know that now.”
for a moment, neither of you speak. then she shrugs. “i just wanted to tell you.”
something warm settles quietly in your chest. all those years ago, you would've given anything to hear that someone noticed you. that you had occupied space in another person's memory.
“well,” you say softly, “hearing it now still makes me happy.”
her face brightens. “really?”
“really.”
you smile. “maybe we can be friends now.”
“yes,” she says immediately. “absolutely.”
by the time you've exchanged phone numbers, the knot in your chest feels strangely lighter.
across the room, jaehee watches you weaving through the crowd toward him.
“you made a friend?”
you hold up your phone. “i made a friend.”
his eyes widen dramatically. “wow.”
“don't start.”
“i'm just saying.” he reaches for your hand. “this is huge.”
you roll your eyes, but you let him intertwine your fingers anyway. “maybe you're rubbing off on me.”
“maybe.” he looks entirely too pleased with himself.
“don't get too popular.”
“why?”
“because then i'll have to start booking appointments.”
you groan. “you're really annoying.”
“that's not a no.”
“jaehee.”
he laughs when you bump your shoulder against his.
“besides,” you add quietly, “that’s impossible.”
his expression immediately turns serious. “yn, you can make as many friends as you want.”
“that’s not what i meant.”
“then what did you mean?”
for a moment, you simply look at him—at the boy who greeted you every morning, the boy who stood in the rain because losing you was never an option, the boy who taught you that being seen and being loved were not the same thing, but somehow gave you both anyway.
your fingers squeeze his hand.
“i meant,” you say softly, “how could i ever go a day without you?”
everything around you seems to fade for a second, until there's only jaehee and you. that familiar blush creeps slowly into his ears, even now.
“you still do that,” you say.
“do what?”
“blush.”
he groans immediately. “yn.”
“it’s cute.”
“please stop.”
“never.”
he laughs despite himself, and suddenly you're seventeen again. sitting beneath a sky full of stars, watching a boy who everyone loved turn pink because you looked at him for a second too long. except now, neither of you have to wonder.
you don't have to imagine what he feels. you don't have to hope he'll find you in a crowd. you don't have to spend your days wishing for one more good morning.
because he's here, with his hand in yours and his smile brighter than ever.
when jaehee looks at you now, he doesn't look like he's searching. he looks like he's already found what he was looking for.
⤷ pairing: yushi x fem!reader
⤷ tags: summer vacation, friends to lovers, skinny dipping (not initially), kissing, oral sex (m. receiving), dom-ish reader (but no reader orgasm, perhaps in pt. 2..?), lowercase writing
⤷ warnings: smut ofc (MDNI)
⤷ synopsis: unable to sleep, you wander out to the pool of your rental with yushi joining you soon after, and a bit of late night fun ensues
⤷ word count: 3.6k
★ 🖋 aurkayy slowly building up the wish catalog here, one of the very few fics i haven't outlined before hand but i think it worked out . i actually don't have much to yap about for once😭,, take a shot every time i typed water !
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the bed whined under your weight as you changed positions once again you let out a sigh. this wasn’t that much comfortable either.
you couldn’t sleep.
it was rare for you to get any rest in unfamiliar places, at least on the first night. it’s a fact you didn’t fully take into account when you agreed to go on a summer break trip with your friends.
you’d settled in the rental house hours ago, yet you couldn’t lull yourself to sleep. it was too warm, too silent. with a small huff, you threw the blanket off of you and sat up. carefully, you cracked open your bedroom door and made your way down the hallway. looking around, the only source of light coming into the cramped living room came from the moonlight outside, with the rest of the house drowning in darkness.
you walked towards a nearby floor lamp, blindly feeling around in the air for the switch. the lamp emitted a muted golden light that stretched across the room, making you squint. you rubbed a hand across your face and stumbled towards the kitchen, thinking that a glass of water would somehow do the trick.
the cabinet closed with a dull thud as you grabbed a glass and turned on the tap. with tired eyes, you watched the water rush out of the faucet. you eagerly gulped it down and wiped away any water that escaped down your chin.
your attention wandered to the sheer fabric covering the small window above the sink. the metal rings of the curtain scrapped against the curtain rod as you pushed it aside and peered through the window. in front of you was an unobscured view of the backyard, featuring a pool that was illuminated a bright marine blue by underwater lights.
you guys hit the ground running when you first arrived, dropping your things off and immediately heading out to explore the city. it was only just now that you realized you didn’t get to look at the rental fully, including the massive pool that demanded your attention.
you set the glass down on the marble countertop and searched around for your shoes. it was late into the night, and everyone was most likely fast asleep, exhausted from the long day they had, so you moved as quietly as possible.
you spotted them in the corner of the living room and slipped them on. the slight creak of the door made you wince, and you could only hope that no one heard it. your rushed steps scraped against the concrete and stopped abruptly when you reached the pool. the fluorescent water moved in ever-osculating waves with the bouts of wind, shining starkly against the almost pitch-black sky. with your shoes off, you felt the rough, sun-baked concrete dig into the soles of your feet.
the water was a refreshing contrast to the warm tiles you sat on. it sloshed around, lapping at your skin and trailing goosebumps up your legs as you got accustomed to the temperature.
the house was settled just outside the city, so the distant sound of cars whizzing by made you wonder where they were headed at such a late hour. for a while, you sat with the familiar smell of the chlorinated water and let it soak into your skin.
the same noisy door from earlier creaked behind you, making your eyes shoot open. you whipped your head towards the sound and peered into the dark doorway to see what caused it.
to your surprise, it was yushi standing there with a slightly confused expression.
“y/n? what are you doing out here?” sleep was still evident in his voice and his tousled hair. he walked over to where you were sitting, the blue hue of the pool highlighting his figure.
“i couldn’t sleep.” you confessed. “did i wake you?”
he shrugged, rubbing at his eyes. “not really, it’s not like i was getting much sleep either.”
he sat next to you, wrapping his arms around his knees. “was there a reason you couldn’t sleep?”
“my bed’s not the comfiest.” you snuck a glance his way but his gaze was trained on the pool, so you spoke to his side profile. “you’re not gonna give the water a try?” you punctuated your question with a couple kicks of your feet.
he shook his head dismissively, giving you a drawn smile. “it’s a little late.”
“oh, come on.” you whined. “just for a few minutes?”
he looked over at you for a moment and reluctantly agreed after seeing the look in your eyes. “fine.” he laughed at the noise of excitement that left your lips. he hiked up his pant legs and took off his shoes, lowering his legs into the pool next to you.
“this does feel nice,” he admitted.
the whole day had been rather hectic, so being out there by yourself was a chance to breathe and relax, but it was even better with yushi right next to you.
you liked him, wanted him. a lot. it came out of nowhere, instead of gradually like you’d see in your average romance movie. it was a late night, much like now. it was the shared laughs, how comfortable you felt around him, how easy it was to exist around him, that made you think about being in his company as more than a friend, to dream about it even, for months.
despite it being nighttime, it was still plenty hot outside. so you dragged your feet out of the pool, standing up and looking down at the loose nightshirt you were wearing.
you turned to yushi with a slight smirk, who was already staring up at you with unbridled curiosity. “i think i’m gonna go for a swim.”
his face contorted in suspicion, deciding if you were really going to go through with it. though, knowing you as much as he did, the answer was pretty obvious.
“are you serious..” the words didn’t even get the chance to leave his mouth properly. you already had your hands gripping hem of your shirt, pulling it up your body.
“of course,” you answered simply. his gaze lingered on your midriff before dragging up to your chest that was still obscured by your bra. you threw the shirt behind you, and next to go were your shorts. he turned away to look at the water again, he was staring a little too hard, but you were stripping right in front of him after all.
when he turned back to you, you were walking towards the stairs with a confident sway of your hips, almost like you knew he was watching.
you hissed as the water went past your legs and quickly slid the rest of your body into the pool. “fuck,” you laughed, “it’s so cold.” you moved around in the pool to adjust to the frigid temperature, the soft sound of water trickling around you at every movement.
yushi watched you slowly swim around like you were a koi fish in a pond, talking at random about what you were going to do the rest of the trip. it was your last question that sparked his attention.
“are you really gonna make me swim alone?”
he looked up from his legs, and you were suddenly right in front of him.
“huh?” he had heard every word that came out of your mouth.
“i said,” you dragged out in a sing-song tone, “are you gonna make me swim alone?” you sent a splash towards his legs, making him throw his hands up in a makeshift shield.
“you should get in here.” you tilted your head. “or not, it’s up to you.” you float away before he could answer. he thought about it for a moment, continuing to watch you.
behind you, you heard a splash that your body didn’t produce and turned around to see yushi standing up by the edge of the pool.
yushi threw his hands up in defeat. “fuck it, okay.”
a small, incredulous laugh left your mouth. “no way.”
“don’t be too shocked.” you couldn’t help but stare as he pulled his shirt over his broad shoulders. your eyes landed on his waist, trailing to his legs when he slipped out of his pants. you were burning a hole through him at this point. when he looked up at you, a shy smile painted his face before you both looked away.
he stepped out of the pile the fabric that was his pants and kicked them to the side, slipping into the pool right where he was standing. “i can’t believe i’m doing this,” he sighed softly, splashing water on himself. “why am i always doing everything you want?”
your eyebrows scrunched together with a giggle. “you don’t have to, you know.” though admittedly, you liked it that way. he was often so pliable at your hands, moving at your every direction. so far, you were only testing the waters, wondering how far you could go with him.
he hummed. “i don’t mind it, though. you always know how to have fun.” he was making his way towards you, his body becoming a swirled mosaic underwater.
“do i?”
“yeah. i couldn’t imagine this trip without you.” you softly smiled at him and started swimming around again, feeling more comfortable in the water.
at some point, you both settled by the edge of the pool, letting your legs float and staring up at the few stars in the sky.
“hey,” you pushed through the question without any hesitation. “have you ever gone skinny-dipping?”
he looked at you with the amount of confusion you predicted, and it pulled a childish giggle out of you.
“no?” he replied. it sounded more like a question than anything else. “do people actually do that?”
you shrugged your shoulders, peering down at the water. “i’ve heard.. stories.” you pushed off the wall of the pool to stand in front of him, creating a healthy distance between you both.
“do you wanna try?”
yushi blinked at you several times, like he was trying to process your words. you hoped that your expression could hide how nervous you were. maybe it was because you were tired, or he was too tempting of an image in front of you; it was most likely both, but the question slipped off your tongue before you could stop it.
the slightest amused smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “what if someone catches us?”
you raised your brows. it wasn’t a no. “that’s what makes it fun.”
“no one’s awake right now. i guess we’ll have to be quiet, anyway.” you stepped a fraction closer. “you can do that, right?”
“yeah.” his voice came in out a hushed tone
“good.” his gaze flickered to your hand as it surfaced from the water. you slipped your thumb under your soaked bra strap before slowly easing it down your shoulder. your other hand came up to do the same to the other strap. you reached behind you to unclasp your bra. water trickled out of the fabric as you brought it into the air and tossed it to the tiles surrounding the pool. you slid your underwear down your legs, and they reached the same destination as your bra.
your nipples immediately started to harden when introduced to the cold water, sending a pleasant shiver through you. yushi hadn’t moved an inch until you spoke up, your voice cutting through his thoughts.
“your turn,” your head motioned towards his lower half. his eyes pulled back up from the water to meet yours with effort, like they were overcoming the weight of cinder blocks.
“oh, right,” he stammered. he slowly slid out of his boxers, tossing the soaked fabric behind him and leaving both of you nude.
“how does it feel?”
“weird, but freeing.” the statement was a bit ironic considering he was still glued to the wall like a pool jet. “you seem so comfortable,” he remarked.
“you’re not?” you asked, even though it wouldn’t be unreasonable if that were the case. it was taking so much restraint to not pounce on him, pin him against the wall. your hands were still itching to reach out and touch him, so you did.
“come on.” you took his hands in yours, gently pulling him towards the middle of the pool. “it’s not that bad.”
“yeah, to you.” you rolled your eyes, sending a splash his way that barely missed his face and landed at his shoulder instead.
“hey! what was that for?”
“you need to lighten up.”
“lighten up? i’m in a pool, naked.” of course, he retaliated by splashing you back, except he didn’t miss your face.
your hands flew up to cover your face. “wait, it got in my eyes,” you whined.
“are you okay?” he got closer to you, close enough for your next attack to land. you got him back and burst out into a laughing fit when the splash landed square in his face.
“got you.”
“not funny.”
“why are you smiling then?” the embarrassed smile on his face slipped, quickly being replaced by a playful scowl.
a battle of sorts ensues between you, ending in a clear winning team.
“is this light enough for you? huh?” yushi joked, sending water your way. you were both breathless from laughing and exerting more energy than you should be at 1 am.
“yes! okay, you win,” you squealed, admitting defeat and wiping water away from your eyes.
you’re much closer to each other now, your breaths slowing down and mingling together. the beads of water clinging to his skin, water dripping from his dark hair, eyelashes stuck together in pretty spikes—it was a scene you could stare at for hours.
you looked towards the house. the windows were still dark. no one had woken up yet, even with the ruckus you created outside.
yushi seemed to gravitate towards you, his eyes scanning your face. you were alone, a few inches away from each other, naked, of course. you couldn’t think of a better opportunity.
“yushi,” you whispered. “can i kiss you?”
the silence was deafening, yet brief, as you used your next sentence to buffer the weight of your words. “if not, i under—”
he bridged the small gap between you two, and the words died on your tongue. his lips moved with such urgency, pulling away just a little before you crashed into each other again. he was waiting for you to ask that question, waiting to taste you. his hands magnetized to your waist, pulling you flush against his body.
you could feel everything, especially the weight of his hardening dick against your thigh.
he could feel it too, and he suddenly backed away from you.
“i’m sorry,” he breathed out.
you shook your head, your hand sliding up his chest. “no, come here.” your hand rested on the nape of his neck and pulled him back to your lips.
your fingers wove through his wet hair, your lips moving greedily against his. his ran his tongue along your bottom lip, searching for your permission before pushing his tongue into your mouth. he was seeing how hungry you were, if you wanted it just as much as he did, and you matched it eagerly.
his slender fingers curled around your waist and pulled you back into his embrace like you would disappear if he let go. you moaned into his mouth. every part of your bodies connected—your tongues languidly sliding past each other, your plush tits pushed against his chest, his dick pressed to your stomach, hard and insistent.
your chest heaved up and down with your heavy breaths as he broke the kiss, only to attach to your neck right after. he left desperate, scattered kisses up your neck, across your jawline, to your ear, not caring about the artificial saltiness clinging to your skin.
“i didn’t know how much more of this i could take,” yushi groaned into your ear, his hips rocking against you.
“was the teasing too much?” you asked with feigned innocence. “i didn’t mean too.”
“liar.” you huffed out a laugh. his hand traveled past your waist, stopping shy of your breast. your small gasps spilled in the air as he finally groped your breast, his thumb swiping over your hardened nipple with teasing strokes.
“i wanted to do this the second you took that bra off.” his lips brushed against your nipple, and the wet warmth of his mouth enveloped it, making you tilt your head back with a soft whimper. his tongue flattened against the bud before flicking across it incessantly.
“fuck,” you moaned out, your grip on his shoulder tightening. your other hand dipped into the water. there, your fingers circled around the base of his cock, earning yourself a low whine. the vibration of the noise against you sent a jolt of pleasure through you.
you never thought you’d be doing anything like this in a pool with anyone, especially yushi.
whenever you imagined your first encounter with him, it wasn’t in a swimming pool, late at night, trying your best to stay quiet. but the thrill of possibly being caught, the desperation that was leaking through his frantic touches, it had your heart picking up speed and your body so hot that the water was quickly evaporating off your skin.
his hips rocked into your hand, chasing friction despite your slow, teasing strokes. his mouth detached from you, jagged breaths leaving his plush lips. you kissed him again, your teeth grazing his bottom lip as you reluctantly pulled away.
“let’s move to the stairs.” he gave you a dazed nod before you both headed over to the stairs at the shallow end of the pool.
you knelt in front of him on the steps. “you really have to stay quiet this time.” you warned. your palms smoothed up his thighs all the way to his stomach, ignoring his cock on purpose.
he gave you a fervent nod. “i will.” you drew your lip between your teeth before leaning down and licking an experimental stripe on the underside of his cock. he took in a sharp breath, and he knew just from the warmth of your tongue against him that he wasn’t going to last long.
you let out a teasing giggle before your soft lips started to caress the base of his cock, trailing kisses up his length to his sensitive, leaky tip. you lazily dragged your tongue across it, letting your saliva run a messy path down his shaft. you looked up at him, watching the neediness grow in his eyes, his eyebrows turned up in a lustful haze.
with a pleased hum, you finally took him into your mouth. you made quick work of his cock, leaving his length shining with your spit and his pre-cum. any mess you created dissolved into the water. the whole time, he was obediently biting back any noises that arose in his throat, a whimper escaping when he couldn’t control it. you wished you could hear them, and hear just how good you were making him feel through his unbridled, pretty cries. despite that, the subtle shake in his thighs, and the way his abdomen tensed with every pass gave it all away.
“you’re being so good, yushi,” you purred after pulling off of his cock. his hips shifted to match the rhythm of your strokes that were steadily increasing in speed. you could feel him pulsing in your hand, demanding and hot. “are you gonna cum already?” there was a demeaning tone to your voice that worked to send him over the edge.
“yes, fuck—” he gasped. your hand slowed down a fraction, pulling him away from the precipice of his orgasm with a wicked smile.
“y/n, please,” he voice grew a little whiny, wavering and making hot pleasure swirl around in your stomach. you just wanted to know how he would sound if you were fucking him properly. “i wanna cum for you, please.” his hands gripped the stairs beneath him, trying to keep himself together for you.
“yeah? you sound so pretty when you beg,” you rasped, the effect of his words evident in your voice. you picked up speed again, your fist slick with his pre-cum. “cum for me, then.”
he let out a desperate, unabashed whimper that he couldn’t stifle, and it’s like music to your ears. he came with a shattered moan, sending warm streaks of cum across your chest, some of it spilling down your hand as you slowed your movements. you gave his cock a few more firm tugs, coaxing every last drop out and making him go sensitive in your hands. you let him take a good look at the mess he made before slowly dipping under the water, erasing it all like it never happened.
you used his thighs as leverage to climb up and kiss him, smiling against his lips. “how was that?”
“fucking amazing,” he answered with a crooked smile. “i need to return the favor.”
“i’ll look forward to it tomorrow. i’m kind of sleepy now.” you laughed.
he hummed in agreement before speaking again, lower this time. “did you, uh, wanna sleep in my bed?”
you smiled at the offer. “i’d love to.”
you both hopped out of the pool, drying off hastily with the towels that sat on the pool chairs. the undergarments were a lost cause, so you slid into your pajamas and snuck back into the house. he led you to his room where you shared a quick shower (and a kiss or two) you borrowed his clothes, and stowed yourselves away under his sheets.
soon, you’re first to fall asleep. yushi snuck his arm around your waist, mumbling a goodnight before eventually succumbing to the same slumber.
⤷ pairing: sion x reader
⤷ tags: friends to lovers, college au, mutual pining?, a few idol cameos, lowercase writing, confessions, attempts at humor
⤷ warnings: the slightestt angst
⤷ synopsis: your friends know that you and sion have a crush on each other, but are too shy to say something, so they decide to take matters into their own hands; they don't show up to group's movie night with excuses that continuously get crazier and now you're alone with no choice but to face your crushes.
⤷ word count: 7.2k
★ 🖋 omg ! i can’t believe I haven’t updated in so long,, mianhae. but here i am with sion fluff bc i felt like there wasn't much of it out there 😇 sorry if some of this seems like.. melodramatic lol I mayyy have used this to figure out some of my own shit sooo. this is the longest fic i’ve ever written, and i would’ve liked to make it more fledged out but BABY STEPS! ! i wrote this when it was cold outside hence the setting okay enough of my yapping and ty for stopping by 🫰🏾
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an avalanche of students poured out of the cramped lecture hall, their loud steps padding against the floor as soon as the professor dismissed them. you trailed behind them, stretching your neck and blinking away fatigue from staring at a laptop screen for over an hour.
cold wind caressed your cheeks as you pushed through the double doors, it being a stark reminder of the current season. that was the last class of the day, and you were just relieved to be breathing fresh air after being cooped up all day in random classrooms. you pulled your phone out from your back pocket and immediately navigated to your messages. you pressed on sion's contact, and your fingers went still above the keyboard before typing away:
you: hey are we still meeting ?
only seconds had passed, and you didn't even get to put your phone back in your pocket before it vibrated against your hand.
sion: ofc <3 at the same cafe
you: omw :')
like every other week, you were supposed to be meeting with your friends for your weekly study sessions. when you first started meeting, you thought nothing of it. sure, half the group had different majors to study for, but it was the commiseration you shared and each other's presence that mattered most. you treated it like a hang-out almost, a breather from the usual stress of classes, but now, it all made your heart thrum like a seasoned drumline as you walked down your memorized path to the café.
the shrill ding of the door rung as you tentatively opened it. warmth enveloped your shivering frame with open arms, and the homey aroma of coffee wafted towards your face and up your nostrils. that paired with the quaintly decorated interior made a cozy atmosphere that made this place a refuge. an employee greeted you from behind the counter, and you offered a shy wave back.
as your eyes scanned around the café, you spotted a familiar face in a booth near the corner. he was sitting in front of a laptop, lips slightly jutted out in concentration. he leaned back in his seat with a small sigh before looking around and immediately making eye contact with you. his whole face brightened up as he smiled and clumsily waved a hand at you, mouthing a quiet 'hey'. you returned his smile as you made your way over to him. you set your backpack down on the vinyl-coated seat, sighing as the weight slid off your shoulders.
you slid into the other side of the booth and finally got a good look at him. he was wearing black-rimmed glasses and a plain hoodie, a thicker coat discarded to his side. he swept a hand through his almond brown locks that somehow fell back into place perfectly. this was the reason why the thought of your study sessions brought you off balance. he was just sitting there, but was already so distracting, how would you get anything done? you were afraid that your developing crush on sion would reveal itself soon, but for now, you were holding it down the best you could.
he greeted you back and slid his laptop to the side. "it's been so long since i've seen you." he leaned forward on his elbows, his head resting in his palm.
you tilted your head. "it's only been two days?"
"exactly." it draws a small laugh out of you. you wouldn't admit it, but those two days had dragged on without his warm presence disrupting the cold weather.
"how was your day?" he asked as his eyes followed you hands as you pulled out your notebooks. his gaze met your again, bright as ever. he listened as you briefly went through your day, the same it was every monday.
"it seems like your day was more interesting than mine."
you narrowed your eyes. "i doubt that. i think you just like to hear me talk." you're only confident in your accusation because he's said so. multiple times. and each time, you brushed it off as one would with lint from clothes straight of the dryer, not quite sure how to deal with such attention.
he simply smiled. "guilty." soon, the smell of coffee floating through the air was too tantalizing for him to ignore.
"hey." you looked up from your notes. he looked towards the counter, tilting his head in that direction. "did you wanna go get something?"
you softly nod with a smile. "yeah." you both got in line, waiting for the few people before you to order as you stared up at the menu in thought. soon, you were next up with sion trailing right next to you.
you ordered your usual drink before your eyes trailed down to the plethora of colorful desserts sitting in the display case. they were rather tempting. maybe a small treat wouldn't hurt. "and a slice of tiramisu." you added.
she turned towards sion without a second thought. "and for you, sir?"
"oh, it's separate," you interjected as you searched your jacket pockets for your wallet. before you could pay, a hand laid on top yours, gently pushing it out of view, and you swear electricity shoots through you when you touched. you looked over to him in confusion.
"it's together." he chimed in before continuing the order.
"what are you doing?" your quiet, whisper-shouted protest went unheard as he finalized the order and gave you a coy smile after the cashier walked away. you shook your head as you dejectedly slide your wallet back into your pocket, biting back amusement. "you didn't have to do that, you know."
"it's the least i could do, with you walking all the way over here to be with little old me." the excessive bat of his unfairly long eyelashes made you laugh.
"well, thank you." he was always taking care of you in little ways, so you couldn't be too surprised. by now, you thought you would've learned how to accept his impromptu gestures.
"of course." he looked down at your hands tucked in your pockets. "your hands were freezing by the way."
"i forgot my gloves this morning," you blurted out to drown out the thought of him warming them up with his own hands. after a while, you both headed back to your seats after getting your orders.
the plastic lid crackled as you removed it and stabbed the spoon through the tiramisu's cocoa-dusted surface. you brought the spoon to your mouth—first, it was the airiness of the mascarpone, then the taste of deep-roasted coffee that hit your tongue, and your eyes lit up instantly.
"how is it?"
"it's great, and it tastes even better since it's free." he laughed as you took another spoonful into your mouth. "do you wanna try?"
"hm," he gave it thought, fingers thrumming around his coffee cup as he let it cool down.
"hold on." he watched you with curious eyes as you fetched another spoon, hastily unwrapping it. you cut into the tiramisu again, bringing it to his lips. he shook his head in disbelief, though the smile on his face betrayed his true amusement with the situation.
"no wonder she thought we were together. you're feeding me?" you realized what you were doing, but before you could lower the spoon, he gently grasped your hand, bringing it closer and wrapping his lips around the spoon. the warmth of his touch and his gaze that never broke away from yours made you malfunction.
you gingerly let your thoughts escape your mind, your spoon going still in your hand. "did she?"
"maybe." he tilted his head with an innocent look. "would that be so bad?"
of course, just when you thought your heart had finally settled, he had the nerve to tease you again. your lips twitched into a bashful smile, your voice going quieter than you'd like as you waved away his question.
"i might have to steal that from you, though. it's really good." you jokingly shielded the dessert away from his stare, but really, you wouldn't hesitate to share with him if he asked.
another ding of a bell came from the entrance along with a pair of voices and a new rush of cool air. you turned towards the door mid bite to see the other half of your friend group shuffling into the cafe—late as usual, but not by much this time. minju walked over to where you were sitting with jaehyun following suite.
"hey guys! sorry we're so late." her eyes scanned the scene before her before a teasing smirk flickered on her face, an accusatory finger pointing between you two. "my bad, are we interrupting your date?"
"mm, i think we are," jaehyun whispered, through it was still in ear show.
"what? no-"
"yes, actually." sion interjected. you looked over to him with furrowed brows, swatting at him.
minju looked over at you with the slightest smirk before she slid her backpack off her shoulders, asking you to scoot over. you slid toward the window to let her sit down. sion did the same, letting jaehyun scoot in next to him and immediately chatting it up.
of course, she had caught on to whatever was going on between you and sion a long time ago. her look was yet another wordless acknowledgement of it all, a query of why you haven't made a move yet. she knew exactly why, so you returned her scrutinizing stare with narrowed eyes and focused your attention back on your half-eaten dessert.
it was getting late, and eventually the study session had to come to an end—if you could even call it that because there was more talking going on than studying. everyone parted in their separate ways, but because you were going in the same direction, sion insisted on walking with you to your dorm.
walks with him were nice, but fleeting. sometimes, your conversations from the cafe would carry on, and other times you walked while surrounded by a comfortable silence, like now. on the way there, your shoulders bumped into each other every now and then, your fingers brushing once, but surely enough to be the main topic of your thoughts for the next few days.
the soft sounds of your steps against concrete came to a slow halt. you both looked at the building and back at each other, knowing that your time together had come to an end.
"i guess this is it," you quietly announced. you realized you were alone together once again.
"sion, i.." you had half-prepared a confession in your head during your walk, but the look in his eyes made you pause. the atmosphere had felt right, or so you thought. the street lamp illuminating his skin, the deafening silence, the barely-there distance between you two. when did he get this close?
it all felt so intimate and scary, and your breath, along with your words, caught in your throat. the wind was why your eyes grew glossy, and the wind only.
effortlessly, he managed to melt away your icy exterior with his sunshine like energy after you met him. now, you were soaking in the cold wet puddle made by his love. it slowly seeped through your clothes, and you sat there no matter how unfamiliar it felt. how could you possibly explain that without sounding out of your mind?
you weren't ready, you told yourself. your expression faltered for a mere second. it was almost imperceptible, but sion noticed, and his expectant gaze waned along with it.
"i.. appreciate you for walking me to my dorm," you spoke into the air, watching thin clouds of vapor leave your mouth. he softly smiles back at you, barely there but still warm.
"of course." he opened his arms, inviting you into a hug, and you attached to him like a magnet. you've hugged countless times before, but this time felt different. it lingered for just a bit too long before one of you felt the urge to pull away.
"i'll see you later?" his voice was hopeful, and as soft as his jacket.
you nodded and bid him a goodnight before reluctantly walking towards your building, turning around to wave at him one last time. when you entered your dorm, a deep exhale left your nose as you closed your eyes, the tension on your body leaving along with it.
as you were getting ready for bed, his words still rang loud in your mind.
'would that be so bad?'
you groaned. no, it wouldn't, is what you wanted to say, but your mouth clamped shut at the thought. as your mind kept going back to your time at the cafe, the walk to your dorm as you braved the biting cold together, you were sure you wanted nothing more than to do it all again, but as more than friends.
but once again, you'd failed to make him understand what was going on your head. how could you when you barely understood it yourself?
anxiety arose as you racked your mind for a solution, ruminating over every little interaction. was it all just a joke? were you reading too much into it? you've never doubted yourself to this degree, and never had someone invade every square inch of your brain. you were almost never alone with your thoughts because he was always there; his eyes, his smile, his laugh when he found even your worse jokes funny.
a distant knock on your bedroom door interrupted your spiraling thoughts. you went to open it to see your roommate, haewon, standing there with a knowing look.
you breathed out a sigh of relief. "oh, hey,"
"hello." her voice was awfully chipper for the hour, and you already know where the conversation was leading to. your eyes trail her as she invited herself into your room, plopping down onto your bed with her pajama-clad legs crossed. "so, how was your day?"
"it was alright." it came out more flat than you meant it to.
"what? your study date didn't go well?"
"okay, don't call it that." you playfully rolled your eyes. the door creaked closed behind you before you joined her on your bed.
her eyebrows slightly furrow as she tilted her head. "what happened?"
you scratch the back of your neck as you attempted to sum it up, everything up until the second you came home. you winced as you finished your last sentence, bracing yourself for her response. "and i didn't end up telling him."
she blinked at you, her expression puzzled. "y/n, what are you so afraid of? you know he's like in love with you, right?"
"oh, come on."
"so you don't notice all the flirting?"
"i mean yeah, but he's like that with everyone." you blinked at her, confusion laced in your features as she laughed at you a little too hard.
her laughter dwindled out as she caught her breath, steadily straightening out her expression. "sorry, i just.." haewon looked at you with pursed lips, carefully scanning your anxious figure. "you don't have a clue in the world."
she huffed out a breath in finality and reached her hand out in front of you, her palm towards the ceiling. "here, give me your phone."
you quirked an eyebrow at her. "for what?"
"just trust me." with narrowed eyes, you cautiously handed her your phone. the intention of her taps across the screen didn't even register in your mind until it was too late.
"wait, what are you doing?" your attempt to grab your phone back failed as she pulled away, continuing to tap at the screen.
"inviting him to a movie night with you and your friends." she flashed you an accomplished smile, the phone screen lighting up her face rather ominously in the dark room.
"what? since when are we having a movie night?" you snatched your phone back, quickly reading over the message she sent masquerading as you.
"since now."
"haewon." your hands gradually grew sweaty around the phone case. "how do you even know if he's available? and why on earth did you add a winking emoji?" your nervous inquiries faded away as 'delivered' turned to 'read' and dots flickered within the text bubble.
a single, chirpy ding played throughout the room.
"you sound so surprised." haewon laughed, "i told you." you were mostly scared of whatever she had planned, if she did. with her, things weren't always what they seemed to be.
"i'm never giving you my phone again, by the way,"
she pursed her lips with a singular, defeated nod. "noted."
"damn it," sion stared down at the screen connected to the printer. it would usually be functioning, a tad bit too bright and ready from him to input commands, but today it was covered with a sheet of paper that stubbornly read OUT OF ORDER.
he looked around the library. surely, there had to be another printer on that floor, though he wouldn't have to play this scavenger hunt if his professor didn't insist on everyone turning in a hard copy of their essay. tall, wooden bookcases filled majority of the space, occasionally broken up by study spaces occupied by groups of students. when he got to the end of the lengthy corridor, he spotted it; another printer, fully operational with no flimsy sign, and he breathed out in relief.
he planned to quickly print out his essay and head back to the comfort of his dorm, but he heard a familiar laugh. he whipped his head to the side; it was your laugh cutting through the clutter of quiet voices, and you were sitting with some guy he had never seen before.
his eyes carefully raked over the scene, standing so still that anyone who passed by him would be convinced he's a statue. watery sunshine slanted in through the window behind you two, illuminating your forms. of course, he was only looking at you and how you practically beamed at whatever this guy had just said.
you turned your head towards him, eyes filling with recognition as you waved, which urged his feet to move. before he knew it, he was walking over there greeting you both.
"hey, sion." you hopped out of your seat, wearing that shy smile he'd come to memorize. your hands went to fiddle with your back pockets like you didn't know what to do with them. "what are you doing here?"
"just wanted to print out an essay." he pointed his thumb behind him towards the printer. "what about you?"
"oh, i was meeting with my lab partner, taesan." you turned around to properly introduce him to sion. taesan waved and sion returned it with a greeting that was more rehearsed than he intended. he didn't want to come off as jealous. besides, sion knew nothing about him or his intentions.
he just wished it was him meeting with you instead, him hearing you complain about how lab was kicking your butt. it was usually him who'd you talk to about it, but he had barely heard from you all week. he was under the pretense that you wouldn't be on campus that day, because it's what you told him.
"it's nice to see you. i thought you wouldn't be on campus today," he pointed out, his mouth moving before his mind could catch up.
you gave him a tight-lipped smile. "i guess my plans changed." you said through a nervous laugh. you only met his eyes for split second before they shifted sideways. suspicion manifested within the slight raise of his eyebrows before he could stop it.
you were avoiding eye contact with him more than usual. sometimes, he found it cute. and sometimes he just wished for those pretty eyes to look at him, to gaze at him with unbridled want even for a second, like you did that one night.
his grip around his backpack strap tightened. he was reminded of how you would chide him for wearing one strap because it would 'mess up his back' and slid his arm through the other one out of habit. "so, are we still having movie night this weekend?"
"yes." you nodded. "if you don't mind, i kinda already picked the movie out. i've been wanting to watch it for so long." your hands clasped together in front of you, unable to hide your excitement, and there was no way he would say no.
"of course, it's whatever you want."
"great! i can't wait." light returned to your face full force at his words. "well, i should get back to my meeting, then. it was nice to see you."
a small part of sion deflated at your words, but he knew you were busy, and he'd be able to spend more time with you later that week. so, he quickly plastered a smile on his face, waving a small goodbye. sion knew he was going to take any opportunity he could to spend time with you. he was greedy with your time in a way.
somehow, the tepid hi's exchanged when you bumped into each other in between classes, the occasional calls, the time you guys spent together in cafes or libraries to study—too distracted by your presence to commit anything to memory— it wasn't enough for him.
he wanted to hear your voice, bright when you talked about your interests, or whiny when he teased you. he would be with you everyday if he could.
he didn't want to push you away by expressing that, because the thought of losing you all together was scary. every time he thought there's was a chance for something to develop, you'd pull away. he was going at your ever-osculating pace, but a part of him was growing restless. as he left, the whole interaction only motivated him further. something had to change soon, and he didn't how much longer he could keep his feelings to himself.
the situation you were in could only ever be seen in a sit-com.
the movie night you had planned—or the one haewon forced you to—was falling through right in front of your eyes. one by one, your friends had pulled out last minute with various excuses; haewon had to pick up an extra shift at her job, minju had to make her friend a last-minute gift, and jaehyun had to babysit his friend's.. turtle?
you read over the messages for the umpteenth time in disbelief and let out a grumbled noise. you were annoyed. not so much by them backing out last minute, but by the quality of their excuses, especially jaehyun's.
everyone was completely on board just a day ago. something was up, and you were sure haewon had everything to do with it.
it was more important to tell sion the news and interrogate haewon later. you let the dial tone ring in your ear, biting your lip until he finally answered the phone.
"hello?" his sing-songy voice played through the speaker.
"hey, um," you breathed out, sliding your hands behind the lenses of your blue light glasses to rub the drowsiness away. "i don't think the movie night is gonna work out."
"wait, why?"
"well, it turns out no one else can make it tonight. we can just do it a different da-"
"no, no," he replied hastily, accidentally interrupting you, and you stopped in your tracks with a lifted eyebrow. "i mean, you don't have to do that. maybe it can just be us."
it was just then that haewon's plan was truly coming into fruition. it had went from a group hangout to something reminiscent of a movie date. you realized you've been silent for too long, and he was still waiting for an answer.
"oh, yeah, i'd love that." hm. now it really sounded like you were accepting a date. you'd love it? you rolled your eyes at your word choice. "i'll see you later, then?"
he agreed, and you hung up the phone with a soft goodbye and closed your laptop, deciding to save your assignment for another day. you looked around at your room, which mirrored the disheveled state of your mind, but there was nothing a quick sweep through couldn't fix.
as you were cleaning up your room, the gravity of your situation slowly settled in your bones. the uncertainty of it all echoed within the silence of the empty apartment.
"i can't believe i agreed to this," you grumbled to yourself. you silently picked up the clothes scattered across your bedroom floor with an impossibly stern expression as you become more entangled within the sticky web that was your thoughts. you let out a sigh as you threw the last of your clothes into the hamper.
what would you even say to him? the look in his eyes always managed to dissolve the words on your tongue before they could even form. maybe inviting him over was a mistake; or an opportunity for you to finally set things straight. there were no obstacles in your way this time, and no excuses you could rationalize.
sion eventually arrived with a firm knock on the front door that pulled you away from your thoughts. you quickly made you way down the hallway and to the source of the sound, opening the door and greeting his devastatingly handsome face with a soft 'hi'
he greeted you back with that coquettish lilt to his voice that made you bite the inside of your lip.
"it looks terrible out there," your eyes wandered across the gunmetal grey sky. cold air billowed into the apartment, and momentarily, you regretted your choice of attire. "come in." he slid past you as you opened the door wider and close it behind him.
"i was thinking that we can watch the movie in my room since it's just us." he was taking his shoes off, and pauses to look up at you. you fiddled with your hands behind your back. "only if you want to," you quickly added, eyes a bit wide.
he immediately smiled at the newfound nervous tone in your voice. you peered down at him through the lenses of your reading glasses. your oversized shirt was ridden off your shoulder, the strap of your tank top in its place.
"yeah, that's fine." he had been to your apartment on one other occasion, but it'd be the first time he's in your room, alone with you.
"please, lead the way." you softly nodded and lead him down the hallway to your room, shouldering the door open and letting him inside. immediately, his eyes wandered around your room, taking it all in. he plopped down into the swivel chair in front of your desk and gave it an experimental spin.
you grabbed your remote and sat down on the edge of the bed before whipping your head towards him, watching him as he spun around in the chair again. "having fun?"
"yeah, actually," he answered matter of factly, and you both giggled. "i wasn't expecting your room to be this pretty."
sion's eyes started to wander around your desk, surveying the hodge-podge of stationary and trinkets laying across the dark wooden surface. above it was a corkboard with countless pictures and notes pinned to it that piqued his interest.
"this was the movie i was talking about," you said as you finished flipping through the titles on the screen. when you didn't hear an answer, you turned away from the TV to see his eyes fixed on the corkboard sitting above your desk.
he languidly read out the words to himself. there was a haphazard array of other similarly intimate blurbs thumb-tacked across the board. your heart was beating restlessly against your ribcage as you watched his eyes trace over the individual words.
your body moved on instinct, springing up from the edge of the bed and over to your desk. you grabbed the rounded corners of the chair, rotating the chair and his attention away from the wall.
"sion."
"y/n." your name on his lips was one of your favorite sounds. you wanted to hear it all the time. he stared back up at you with those chocolate brown irises that hid behind his long lashes, the same ones that turned into pools of honey in the sunlight. they scanned over your face, snagging on your lips for a moment too long. his fragrance was comforting, warm, and it forcefully invaded your senses, inviting you to get impossibly closer, to do something you'd thought through countless times before.
"i never knew you were such a hopeless romantic."
you straightened back up. "huh?"
"the words on your bulletin board. unless.. they mean nothing?" he proposed, tilting his head like he already knew the answer.
you thought this crush would be fleeting, just like any other time, like a bus passing you on the street. you'd watch it drive past you because it was nothing special, another one was soon to come in it's place.
but sion stuck around longer than expected.
he made the butterflies in your stomach rustle around with growing ferocity each time you saw him. your cheeks would grow tender from smiling so much. all of a sudden, every love song you listened to made sense. at night, there'd be endless moments of rumination, wondering what kind of partner he'd be, or how his hand would feel in yours, how his lips would caress yours.
talking your friends' ears off wasn't always an option, so you started scribbling down your thoughts, whether they were coherent or not, because there were so many of them. you couldn't decide if you were writing drafts of your long overdue confession, or words that were never to be uttered.
you stepped backwards, planting yourself back on the edge of the bed and taking a moment to steady your tongue. "i'd like to think i'm good at hiding it."
"why hide it?"
it was a question that had a myriad of answers, reasons you couldn't put into words. all you could offer was a dainty shrug of your shoulders.
your voice shrunk in volume unconsciously. "i don't know. don't you think it's a bit cringe?" your fingernails bit into the fabric of the sheets beneath you as you forced yourself to meet his eyes. they demanded your attention yet remained soft, willing you into a vulnerable state and gently dismantling your defenses brick by brick. the only sound accompanying your words was the soft pelt of rain starting up against your window.
"no," he answered carefully.
"you're just saying that so i don't feel like a loser," you laughed, though it was humorless, self-pitying. his eyebrows scrunch together, his natural pout deepening.
"i promise you i'm not," he defended himself.
you could tell he was being earnest, but you still raked your mind for any way to escape this situation to collect your scrambled thoughts.
you stood up with a soft sigh, body stiff as a board. "do you want popcorn? i'm gonna go make some." you started with rushed steps towards the door, but something stopped you.
"wait." you felt a warm, urgent grasp around your hand that made you stop in your tracks. slowly, you turned around to the image of your hands intertwined so intimately. sion was already looking up at you when you finally tore your eyes away to meet his gaze.
"i'd honestly eat anything you made me." there were a couple seconds of silence, the hush of the empty apartment intensifying before his next words hit you like a freight train.
"because i really, really like you." your eyebrows went up a tick, eyes slightly widening in surprise.
his other hand joined in, closing around yours, and they were just as soft as you'd imagined. there was a swift rise of red to his cheeks, and the same tint stained the tips of his ears. his usual bold demeanor was replaced by something quieter, more sincere.
he continued, "i like being around you. i like when you’re happy, making you happy. i wish this didn't take me so long, but i wasn't sure if you felt the same." there was the slightest waver in his voice, like he was treading a tight rope, afraid to say the wrong thing. "i feel you're always running away from me."
that sentence made your heart sink to your stomach, because it was true. but it was in an attempt to escape the way you felt around him. to think how his mental turmoil mirrored yours for who knows how long, guilt struck you like lightning. if you ran now, you'd be running away forever, trying to escape your thoughts of what could've been if you were just braver.
your movements were arrested by his sudden confession aside from a blink, trying to decide if you were dreaming or not.
the heat that rose to your cheeks, the grasp of his hands around yours were all so palpable that you were positive it was all real.
"i do," you started, your voice soft. "i do feel the same, more than you even know. more than i could even express."
you looked down at sion, whose eyes were sparkling at your words and laced with a bit of surprise. "really?" you answered with a fervent nod.
"i was just.. scared," you confessed, finally letting the truth out along with a quiet breath. his hands grasp yours a little tighter, like he was urging you to continue. "i've never been in a real relationship before."
"you want to be in a relationship with me?"
"gosh, yes, sion." you were starting to think he liked to see you flustered.
he stood up. "it's okay. we'll just take it step by step, if that's what you want." his words made your heart swell, and cleared all the doubts in your head like clouds parting on a stormy day. you never even gave yourself the opportunity to be a good partner, yet he saw a different version of you, a version that was worthy of love.
"i do want that," you nodded. "i also want to know what your lips would feel like on mine,"
"me too." you could feel your heartbeat pick up in your chest with excitement. your faces were a mere inches away from each other. you were inches away from what you've wanted this entire time. you realized he wasn't going to move unless you said something.
"can that be the first step?"
"gladly." gently, he removed your glasses and laid a warm palm against your cheek. he pressed his lips against yours, and you knew you'd get addicted to this feeling. it was with gentle urgency, like it was just for you. you grasped onto his hoodie and wrapped your hand around his forearm, pulling his body closer to yours and relishing his body heat. your teeth slightly bit into his bottom lip, which made him groan into your mouth. he pulled away from you, breathless but smiling. "what happened to going steady?"
you laughed, an embarrassed grin on your face. "sorry, you don't know how long i've been waiting to do that."
he laid another delicate, teasing peck on your lips as his thumb caressed your cheek.
"go ahead and pick the movie. i can take care of the popcorn."
"you don't even know where it is, silly."
"don't worry, i'll find it," he said with unfounded confidence.
you tilted your head, and opted to just tell him instead of sending him on a popcorn scavenger hunt in your kitchen. "first cabinet on the left."
"thank you." he gave your waist a gentle squeeze before heading out your room and down the hallway.
your excitement only intensified as you plopped down on the bed and picked out the movie. eventually, the smell of fresh butter filled the room when sion came back with a bowl of popcorn. you scooted over to make room for him.
the popcorn slowly depleted as you both shared it, making random commentary on the characters' actions and scenes. the movie slowed down in pace before the big climax, and you were feeling sleepiness overcome you. sion noticed how quiet you'd been and turned to look at your way, and you were resting your head on his shoulder fast asleep.
the week must've caught up to you, he thought as he admired your sleeping figure. he didn't even want to wake you. it was obvious that you needed to rest if you were falling asleep during the movie you were so excited to show him. he watched you for a moment, listening to your shallow breathing. he was grateful to see this side of you, vulnerable like he had never seen from you before. when he gently rocked your shoulder, whispering your name, all you did was wrap your arms around him tighter, grumbling something incoherent yet adorable.
"hm?" you mumbled, looking around the dark room before your sleepy eyes landed on him.
"hi, sleepy head." his voice was low in your ear, careful not to startle you.
you sat up with furrowed brows, sleep still evident in your groggy voice. "how long was i out?"
"i wasn't counting." you rubbed your eyes with a small groan, feeling heat slowly creeping up your neck.
"shit, i'm sorry. school has been draining me," you mumbled into his shoulder, closing your eyes once again. "guess i was tired."
he moved the bowl from between you to properly face you. "you're okay, it's been a long week." his voice was so soft, you'd let him lull you sleep again.
"i should get going though."
"what? but i want you to stay," you whined indignantly. you both knew it wasn't the best idea, but you gave it a shot anyway. you hoped it would be convincing enough for him to finish the movie and stay cuddled up next to you.
he laughed at your stubbornness. "me too, but you need to get some rest, love. we can finish the movie some other time." you didn't even have the energy to comment on his newfound pet name, mustering up a small smile instead.
"yeah," you reluctantly agreed. "let me walk you out, then."
he was right because as soon as your head hit the pillow after he left, you were out again in no time.
the next week, you met up with sion outside the building of your last class before walking over to the cafe. your arms were linked together as the cold wind whipped around you, slowly walking to savor the feeling of him next to you. you talked about your day, which was just about as uneventful as any other day, yet he still listened like it was the most interesting story ever. soon, you were just a block away from the cafe, biting at the inside of your lip.
"what do think they're gonna say?" you were unsure how bad the teasing was going to be, but regardless, you definitely had some choice words for them.
"i have no idea, honestly. what, are you scared?" he teased softly.
"no," you said, but it came out a bit too quickly to be convincing.
his unraveled your arms and reached down to hold your hand. "well, i'm right here beside you. i'm not going anywhere." your lips twitched into a content smile before you rested your head against his shoulder, breathing in the crisp air around you.
you eventually get to the cafe, and to your surprise minju and jaehyun are already there, sitting in a booth near the front. they must've wanted front row seats to the results of their plan.
"hey, guys." jaehyun greeted you both, his eyes traveling to your connected arms. "i guess some things changed?"
"yeah." you answered with narrowed eyes. you sat down next to minju and sion sat across from you. "how's your friend's turtle doing, by the way?"
jaehyun looked over to minju with a slightly confused expression, completely missing minju's brief but warning glare. "what? my friend doesn't have a turtle." a small smirk played on your face as you let out a scoff in disbelief.
minju closed her eyes with a sigh, her eyebrows pinching together. all jaehyun offered was a confused shrug her way.
"okay, fine." she huffed out and turned to you before confessing. "we might've lied about why we couldn't be there." you blinked at her, surprised that it didn't take as much grilling as you anticipated to get the truth out. "but, nothing would've happened if we didn't do something."
your gaze shifted to your laptop. "we would've gotten together.. eventually."
she made a sound between a scoff and a laugh. "eventually? as in, by the time i'm married with grandchildren?"
your head whipped back towards her with vengeance on your mind. just then, jaehyun let out a small laugh which only grew louder at the scowl on your face. you'd be lying if you said she was wrong. perhaps, a small part of you was grateful for their scheme despite them technically lying to you.
when the study session ended, and they both went their separate ways again, with you and sion walking side by side again to your dorm. you stopped in front of your dorm, looking over to sion. he was already looking at you with that love-dazed expression. for once, you allowed yourself to look at him the same way instead of stealing glances.
you hug him again before you part ways, and it lingered like always. you could allow yourself to relax in his gentle arms, letting your body melt into his as the tension in your muscles slowly dissipated.
"i'll let you go now," he whispered after some time, yet his arms didn't move from around you. "but, before you go, i have one more thing to confess." you slipped your way out of his hug, bringing all of your attention to sion.
"i was the one who came up with the plan." your brows snapped together.
you let out a dramatic gasp, backing away from him in shock. "no way." to your surprise, you were wrong about haewon. it turned out that she was just one of his minions.
you crossed your arms, wearing the sturdiest expression you could muster up. "you're lying to me already? not a great start to the relationship, sion."
the look of triumph on his face morphed into one of worry at your words. this wasn't how he thought it was going to play out.
"what? no, please don't be mad at me. i didn't know what else to do, and the opportunity just feel into my lap." you fixed your graze on the ground, feigning a hurt expression. a sigh left your lips as you finally looked over to him. a familiar flush crept up his face, a glossy pout on his lips. it was getting harder to mask your amusement with the whole situation.
"i'm not mad at you, but i do feel a little betrayed. i know how you can make it up to me, though."
"how?"
"maybe.. take me out on a date?" the suggestion brought the color back onto his face and the breath into his lungs.
he reached for your hands and gave them a firm, reassuring squeeze. "i can do that."
"great." you pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek. his eyebrows rose up in shock, and a hand came up to rest on the same spot. "just text me, okay?"
he simply nodded while looking stuck in a daze. "i will."
to your dismay, you had to let go and bid him goodnight, though with your luck, he would somehow slide his way into your dreams.
tyyy so much for reading stream ode to love stream heavy serenade stream it’s me stream viral (when it comes out) !!
⤷ pairing: intak x fem!reader
⤷ tags: ex-fwb to ???, dirty talk, so much kissing, facefucking, piv sex (protected woww), switch!intak i suppose, lowkey toxic, slight angst/jealousy, reader's kind of an asshole fr, but she gets put in her place..kinda
⤷ warnings: smut (MDNI), mentions of alcohol
⤷ synopsis: he admitted he wanted more than a physical relationship, more than just the late nights entangled in the sheets, and you made it clear you wanted nothing deeper. so why were you back, making his stomach twist into knots with just a smile?
⤷ word count: 3.6k
★ 🖋 hellooo this one is very much overdue, mainly bc i kept overthinking the ending and because im not used to writing stuff like this at alll😅 this fic came from a tweet i saw about him that i for some reason can't find now. perhaps i hallucinated it, idk 😭 ! uhh anyway hope u enjoy :'p
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he should've never let his friends drag him out here.
of course, they had good intentions. it was the last party of the semester, and he hadn't gone out in weeks. they took him out to dance, to unwind, and to forget. forget about the reason—or the person—that caused him to reject their invites every weekend. it was like any other party; the air, humid with sweat and e-cigarette vapor, fogged his senses. people grinded to the instrumental that rung incessantly in his ears, girations induced by liquid courage and other substances.
despite their best efforts to distract him with shots of astringent alcohol and loud music vibrating his bones, it was all deemed fruitless the moment he laid his eyes on you. you were in the crowd with bright, neon lights scattered across your skin, the efforts of your dancing forming a thin band of sweat shining around your hairline. the music moved you like a puppet on a string.
your eyes wandered over to him standing by the kitchen island, and time halted.
all at once, a deluge of memories he'd rather forget flooded his brain; the unanswered messages and dead-end calls, your reaction to his words spilled in vulnerability, the subsequent slow, uncomfortable drift away from each other. your eyes filled with recognition, and your smile turned into something possessive as you slipped between drunken bodies. his head whipped away, and he stared at the cup in his hand like it was art to be examined in a museum. the flirtations of the girl in front of him barely reached his ears. his focus was drawn back to her, but he can't ignore the way your eyes were eating into him. he wished the ground would do him a favor and swallow him whole, but it didn't get the chance before he felt firm taps on his shoulder.
"hey!" you yelled over the music. he met your eyes, adorned with messy glittery eyeshadow, tearing his attention away from the anything else. he was entrapped in your gaze, and he knew his plan to ignore you wasn't going to work. you caressed his arm, giving his bicep the slightest squeeze. "i didn't think i'd see you here."
"yeah, me neither," he mumbled. you turned to the girl next to him with a mirthless smile that didn't reach your eyes.
"and you are?" to intak's dismay, it was enough to make her leave with a dejected wave. his eyes followed her exiting frame, wishfully expecting her to have a sudden change of heart and return to save him.
a furrow settled in between his eyebrows. the audacity you had to act like you were just two friends catching up despite how you broke things off. he admitted he wanted more than a physical relationship, more than just the late nights entangled in the sheets, and you made it clear you wanted nothing deeper. so why were you back, making his stomach twist into knots with just a smile?
his wary eyes watched as you grabbed a bottle of tequila and poured some into a shot glass. you threw your head back as you swallowed the burning liquid with a slight twitch of your face, slamming the small glass onto the grey swirls of the formica counter top. there was a sheer red shade of lip gloss tinting the edge of the glass; the strawberry lip gloss you always wore, and he was always eager to taste.
"what do you want?" the words came out tired and full of unresolved resentment.
"no hi, or hello?" you cocked your head to the side with a slow blink. your eyes raked up and down his body, fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "just wanted to say hey, it's been a while since i've seen you," you were obviously tipsy if the slur of your speech wasn't enough of a clue.
he detached your hands from his shirt, his hands lingering on yours for the slightest second. "and why do you think that is?" you weren't together officially, but everyone around you knew there was something going on behind the scenes. so when you weren't seen side by side anymore, and when his friends heard no mention of your name for weeks, they knew that your 'relationship' had already crashed and burned.
your lips twitched upward, breath leaving your nose unsteady. "you tell me, intak."
the sentence hung heavy in the air between you. he knew you both initially agreed to be casual, but the flames of his infatuation had grown out of control before he could stomp them out. "you think it's my fault we broke things off?"
"well, it's not mine." your calm voice barely offset the sharpness of your words that punctured through his facade.
you made yourself taller by standing on your tiptoes, warm breath ghosting his ear. you whispered, "i need you to meet me upstairs. first room." you lowered yourself back onto your feet and gave him one last look before turning around. it left him speechless and cemented to his spot with an incredulous expression.
his eyes trailed behind you as you pranced up the stairs, more deft than he'd expect you to be considering your intoxicated state. he mentally pinched himself for even considering your proposal when the right choice was so obvious. you wanted him to wrap himself right back around your finger, to fall back into your inescapable trap where he'd be back vying for your attention. he discarded his drink and marched up the dimly lit stairwell, his heart thrumming like a seasoned drumline.
the shuffle of his feet against the carpet came to a stand-still, and his hand hovered above the brass doorknob.
you were peering down at the bedsheets, tracing random shapes into the duvet, and you smirked to yourself hearing the creak of the door. you raised your head towards the sound. intak was standing in the doorway, turning around to close the door with a dull thud.
"you came," you plainly say, slightly surprised by his presence. he finally turns towards you and immediately regrets it. you're sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and looking up at him with heavy-lidded eyes, tempting form illuminated by the cheap lamp on the nightstand. it's an image he's seen so many times before, yet it managed to steal the breath from his lungs once again.
he stepped forward to be a mere foot in front of you. a sharp exhale left his lips. "i only came here to tell you that this," his hsnd gestured between the space between you two. "isn't going to work." your face immediately fell with disappointment, and he almost scoffed. "you can't just walk in here and claim me after you let me go." you stood up, getting close enough to make his heart stutter in his chest.
"intak," you started, voice unusually solemn. "i know that the way i ended things wasn't right," his eyebrows softened in dis-belief. the admittance tasted sour on your tongue, intense, but nothing in comparison to what arose at the sight of him with another person. you thought it wouldn't bother you and tried to convince yourself that you were okay with it. but irritation rattled under your skin at the idea of him moving on to someone else, someone who wasn't you.
"i miss you, and i wanna apologize," intak had an idea of what your version of an apology was. he averted his gaze to his scuffed shoes, the cluttered night stand, and anywhere to avoid debating how genuine your apologetic expression was.
"i.. i can't," he weakly asserted, shaking his head as his eyes cast down at the ground. you had already settled next to the fact that you let a good thing slip out of your grasp, but you also knew how tethered he was to you. he was always brought to supplication by your words, yet a tiny part of you stilled in anticipation.
you brought your hands to either side of his face and tilted his head towards you. they felt warm against his already flushed skin. "please," you leaned in closer, gaze flickering between his eyes and lips. "don't you ever think about us?"
of course he did. but he'd rather not admit it. it would be the sweet things you whispered in his ear as he came down from his high, or the way you gently kissed his neck when you laid in bed afterwards that made him think there was a chance for feelings to develop. he always ruminated on the possibility of there ever being a moment when you were together that you felt anything more than lust, and now it seemed tangible.
you were slowly closing the distance between you two, yet he didn't move. intak tried to hold his ground. he was supposed to walk out, and that would be the last time you talked to each other. no more would he be in this tug of war with you, but he needed your attention, craved it, no matter how you threw it at him.
before he knew it, his lips were on yours. the kiss started soft, trembling, his lips hesitant against yours. his head grew clouded with fog and desire. he gave into his overwhelming need to taste you despite every inclination telling him otherwise. he pulls away before your lips meet again, that time in a desperate clash. he dumped his feelings into you with every messy glide, your noses bumping into each others.
the remnants of bitter alcohol resided on your tongue, heady and disarming. your fingers traveled upward to thread through his short locks. the fabric of your shirt bunched tightly in his fists as he brought you closer. the warmth of your body that finally satiated his needs started to burn through his clothes—he needed them off.
he pulled away, giving you seconds to breathe as he removed his shirt, and you're back attached to each other immediately, his teeth scraping against your bottom lip. he fumbled with the hem of your tank top. you pulled the skimpy top over your shoulders, and your nipples stiffened in the cool air.
your hands caressed his bare skin, warm with adrenaline under your touch. he poured little desperate noises into your mouth, and you drunk them up like it was water in a desert. his fingers drifted up your spine as his lips trailed down your neck before attaching firmly to your nipple with a moan.
you switched places, and the bed whined in protest as you pushed him onto the mattress. you climbed over him and pressed your weight down onto his clothed crotch with a sigh.
"she wouldn't have been better than me," you punctuated your sentence with a bruising kiss. your words were dripping with arrogance and jealousy, like you were trying to assure yourself more than anything else.
"i wasn't interested in her. you know that." he choked out a moan when your hips started to grind along his growing bulge, the texture of your denim shorts bleeding straight through his pants.
you stopped moving, your voice becoming steady and expectant. "so it's only me?"
he shifted upward in search of friction, but your palms on his hips pinned him to the bed. he had almost forgotten about that whole interaction, but the memory of her presence still vexed you. he stared up at you in surrender. "fuck," he breathed out in exasperation. "yes, is that what you wanted to hear?"
"yes," you rasped. "cause it's only been you," you whispered against his lips before pressing kissing him again with fervor, taking his breath away. you rushed off his lap and brought him to his feet, digging your knees into the carpet as you knelt down in front of him.
your fingers hooked through the belt loops of his jeans with a slight tug. "take these off." your voice was firm in his ear, and he's quick to follow your command, treating it like the law. he eased the stubborn fabric down and off his legs, leaving him in his thin boxers. you palmed him through his underwear, the heel of your palm applying perfect pressure.
you cooed at the pre-cum stained fabric. "i've barely even touched you yet," your soft giggle was met with a whine as his hips pushed against your hand. your hands roamed to the sides of his hips, sliding down to grab at his tense thighs. you press your lips against his bulge, wet kisses dampening the fabric even more. you peeked up at his already wrecked form, his face slightly flushed, hair messy. he bit the inside of his lip, and cursed at that falsely coy look in your eyes.
"please,"
"please what, takki?"
"stop teasing," he warned, voice edged with a sharpness that made pleasure stir deep within you. heat crept up your neck at the scrutiny of his gaze. your teeth grazed your bottom lip, and you dug your fingers into the waistband of his boxers, finally pulling them down. the cool air of the bedroom fanned across his cock, which was drooling against his abdomen. you ran a sheepish stripe on the underside of his cock, kissing the tip feather-like.
you circled your fingers around the base of his shaft and began stroking him. his cock slowly dragged over your lips, warm and heavy as he decorated them with sticky pre-cum. you trailed your tongue down his length and back up before taking his glistening tip into your mouth.
with every slow pass, you took more of him into your mouth, letting a muffled moan escape as his length inched towards the back of your throat. his head lolled back, lips slightly parted, his hand finding it's way into your hair. he looked back down at you, and the sight of his cock disappearing past your glossy lips over and over again brought about a spell of dizziness. your lips stretched around his length, and your cheek bulged obscenely as his cock pressed against its hollow inside.
he took the reigns for a moment and started moving his hips, pushing his length in and out of your mouth, thrusting with restraint that was dwindling by the second. he pulled out completely, looking down at you while he pumped his cock with wet strokes.
"can i fuck your mouth? you can take it, yeah?" he breathed out. with that desperate twinge in his voice, you nodded your head before giving the gears in your mind time to turn.
"yes," you stuck your tongue out, giving him permission to thrust his cock back into your mouth. tears pricked your eyes, and you moaned around him as he went faster. you squeezed your thighs together instinctively, trying to quell the ache growing between them. saliva collects in your mouth, dribbling past your lips and down his cock. the knot in his stomach tightened further listening to you choke on spit and pre-cum. your flattened tongue caressed the underside of his length in a way that made him shudder. he pushed in deep once more, the weight of his cock pressing against the spongy area in the back of your throat.
"so good, fuck—" he slowed down a little, holding himself in your throat longer. he groaned at the way your throat constricted around him before he pulled away. you gasped, to catch your breath and out of surprise. he had never done anything like that with you, and despite the ache in your throat and the tears threatening to spill down your cheeks, part of you was begging for more.
"was that too much?" he asks, posing it all as a challenge. you give him a wordless shake of your head, chest heaving in shallow breaths. your lips were all big and wet from taking his cock so well. you swiped away the saliva that coated your chin with the back of your hand, staring up at him through your eyelashes. "so fucking pretty, come here," he lead you by your forearms off the floor and you sat on the edge of the bed.
"do you have a condom?" a smirk played at the corner of your lips as you reached into your pocket, pulling out a small golden packet.
"of course," he copied your lopsided smile with a shake of his head, like it was foolish to assume otherwise. you reached down to pull your shorts and underwear off in one motion. you leaned back to lay on the bed, hungry eyes scanning his features as he snaked his way in between your legs, caging you with his arms. the kiss was messy and impatient, and you hurried to rip open the condom. you detached from each other to slip the sheath down his length, faces close enough for your shaky breaths to mingle together.
"wanna fuck you so bad, please," he whispered as he spread your legs. he slid his thumb from your wet entrance to your clit, biting his lip at the way your hips push into his hand and sighed at his touch. he continued teasing your clit as he lined up his latex covered tip with your entrance. he planted his hands on your hips and entered you with a low groan. the first few strokes were slow, yet intense and cathartic. you squeezed around him with a pleased hum, bracing a hand on his forearm.
your legs loosely wrapped around his waist, heels digging into the small of his back and driving him deeper into you. his hands found your waist with a rough grip as he continued his torturous pace.
you could feel your heart beat violently against your ribs and a needy whine bubbling in your throat. "you can go faster than that, can't you?"
"still impatient, i see," he strained mid-thrust with a slight smirk. "go ahead and beg for it."
to his surprise, you entertained his little power trip, doing anything to get him to fuck you into the mattress. "intak, please just fuck me, you don't know how much i've thought about this since we broke up." you used the term loosely since you were barely together to begin with. but his face, his body, his moans, everything, had plagued your mind for too long, and you couldn't step over your pride and come back to him until tonight.
"what do you think about?" he asked in a low tone, pulling a sharp moan out of you with a particularly harsh snap of his hips.
"you, fucking me just like this, stretching me out so good. please? can you do that?" your bated moans cut your slurred words off when he finally sped up. he was quickly unraveling right in front of you, and you relished the sight. an exasperated "fuck," is his only response. "fuck, i wish i could cum inside you."
then, it dawned on you that during your time together, you never went that far, but the idea of being filled with his hot, sticky release made you whimper and your walls closed around him. "yeah? you have to earn that, baby," he hated the way pleasure brewed within him at your pet names, even with your condescending tone.
you slipped your hand between your bodies, rubbing frantic circles on your clit. that, and the feverish tempo of his hips as he rocks into you had your thighs quivering where they're wrapped around him. he's entranced by the way your face moves when he hits a certain spot within you. the sound of his groans were almost melodic, blending with yours as you both chased your orgasm. you missed the noises he would make, and you needed to be the only one to hear him like this, to make him feel like this. his lungs were quaking from exertion, but he still found the breath to tell you how good you felt around him. his rough palm traveled up your body, greedily kneading your breast in his hand, smoothing up your chest to your neck, using any excuse to touch you more.
"i'm so close," his sentences were reduced to broken fragments. the unabashed sounds of his thighs against your ass grew louder. strands of hair messily stuck to his forehead, jaw clenched like he's putting in all his might to fuck you.
"come on, baby, cum for me," your voice is strained as you felt yourself coming undone with every wet slide of his cock. you're first to reach your peak, eyes slamming shut as uncontrollable moans of his name left your mouth. your hand stilled against your puffy clit, attaching to his arm as he fucked you to overstimulation. he spills heat into the condom with stuttered movements of his hips, his long groan dissolving into weak whimpers. he laid open mouthed kisses on your neck, and your fingers tangled in the damp hair of his nape.
he pulled out of you and flopped onto the bed next to you, letting his heavy breaths subside. you stared up at the textured ceiling while he got up to discard the condom. your hands slid down to settle in between your thighs, already reminiscing the pleasure you just felt. you fixed your attention back onto intak as he sat next to you and you wordlessly pushed yourself into his arms. he went as tense as a guitar string before relaxing and wrapping an arm around your bare shoulders. regardless of the times you had pushed him away, he invited you into his embrace with little hesitation as if you were deserving of it.
he's reminded of what usually happens at that point; you'd give him the brief goodbye you always did and pluck your clothes off the ground, slipping into them and leaving like you were never there. regret, cold and heavy, settled in his chest at the thought. it was a viscous cycle he made himself victim to once again.
don't mind that ending, seriously,, but thank u for reading <3
⤷ pairing: sion x black!fem!reader
⤷ tags: reader's wearing a night gown, intercrural/non-penetrative sex, sleepy sex (👅)
⤷ warnings: smut (MDNI)
⤷ synopsis: sleepy grinding at night, that's all
⤷ word count: 1.7k
★ 🖋; happy (very belated) new years ! decided to do something wholly self indulgent and make my entrance to wishville while i figure out this other fic,,! this man has been plaguing my mind for the longest lol and idk how i feel abt the beginning but we move anyway (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
when you came home from work, to say you were tired would be an understatement.
you closed, and accidentally slammed, the front door with a frustrated sigh and dropped your things off on the couch to be dealt with the next day. the idea of a nice, hot shower was fresh on your mind as you bee-lined to down the hallway, feet padding against the carpet in quick steps. you barely heard your boyfriend, sion, as he greeted you, your presence breaking him out of his phone-induced trance.
the sheets rustled with his movements as he sat on the edge of the bed, eyes following your figure with an inquisitive expression. "hey, babe. how was work?"
"shitty," you spoke over the loud water gushing out of the faucet.
he laughed to himself at your direct response. it was brief, but it told him everything he needed to know, considering your answer rarely differed.
"i couldn't get a hug? a kiss?" he complained with feigned disappointment. he stretched out his arms, trying to revive them from their previously dormant state. you popped your head into the doorway with pursed lips.
"sorry," you rummaged through your dresser to find some pajamas to wear. "i'll give you all the kisses you want after my shower,"
"fine, i'll sit here, kiss-less, until you're done," he laid back down on the bed with a dramatic flop, closing his eyes. you playfully rolled your eyes before shutting the door.
soon, you found yourself standing under the steaming cascade of water. it soothed your sore muscles and gave you time to think without the incessant chatter of customers in the background. you closed your eyes and allowed the heat soak into your skin, trying to put your thoughts away.
after you were done, you quickly dried off, slipping into a loosely flowing pink nightgown. your hand slid across the cloudy mirror, condensation cool on your fingertips. you opened the door to let the residual steam from your shower escape the bathroom and resumed the rest of your thorough night routine. the flash of light drew sion's gaze towards you. in silence, he watched you from behind as you diligently tended to your skin. it had only been minutes before you heard his voice again.
"babe?"
"hm?"
"why have i never seen you wear that before?"
you weakly shrug. "i don't know," the cabinet closed with a dull thud after you finished putting the products up. you flipped off the bathroom light and turned to sion with relaxed eyes. "maybe you just weren't paying attention."
he was definitely paying attention now. especially to the way the silky chiffon fabric curved along the peaks of your breasts. his eyes trailed down your figure as you sauntered over to him. it flowed softly with each step, stopping at mid-thigh length. your hair was tucked into a fluffy satin bonnet, skin shining from moisturizer.
you smiled with a tilt of your head, eyeing him back. "what?"
"it's nothing." he softly shook his head before looking down. you didn't believe him, but decided to let it go. he knew you just wanted to sleep, and he was a bit drowsy himself, so he tried to push the thoughts to the back of his brain. he brought your hands into his and guided you into bed.
"oh," you interjected before laying down. "as promised." you laid a soft kiss on his lips, the careful rhythm reflecting your tired state.
"thank you," he whispered before stealing another quick kiss from you. he reached toward the nightstand and turned the lamp off with a click as you slid under the duvet. moonlight streaming in through the blinds cut through the shroud of darkness over the room. you felt his firm chest embracing your back as he snuggled close to you. he wrapped his arm around your waist, the comforting warmth of his body soaking through the thin material.
he softly kissed your nape, breath ghosting your skin as he spoke "goodnight,"
"goodnight." you felt your face relax into the pillow, and your eyes immediately close. you thought that would be it. that you'd both eventually succumb to sleep after a long day like every other night.
you were half-asleep when you felt a familiar hardness pressing against your backside.
you pried your eyes open, looking down at sion's palm that had inched up your torso, stopping just below your chest. his breathing had caught up along your shoulder.
you blinked away the sleep in your eyes, and turned your head behind you. "sion?" you whispered into the air. his hips moved in the tiniest ruts against you, like it was involuntary. "baby, i'm tired,"
"sorry, i know, i know," he apologized, murmuring into the back of your neck. "you just smell so good." he inhaled the scent of your floral body wash, kissing along the slope of your shoulder. he couldn't dampen his imagination and will away his thoughts of your body beneath your pajamas. his hand slid further up towards your chest.
"i don't have the energy-mmh," a hum interrupted your words as his palm cupped your breast, thumb swiping over your nipple. your eyes fluttered shut again, and he continued teasing and circling the sensitive nub. he slightly pinched it, sending a pleasant shiver through your spine and causing you to push your ass into his hips.
"you don't have to do anything, princess. i've got you." his hand moved back down past your hips. he caressed the supple skin of your thighs before slipping past the hem of your gown.
"no panties?" he gently parted your legs, his fingers spawning goosebumps along the inside of your thigh.
you breathed out your nose with a soft smile. "that wasn't for you," you huffed out a small laugh that dissolved into a needy moan as two fingers slid over your clit and to your entrance. his fingers traced you, gathering your wetness, and dragged them to your hardening clit, rubbing in unhurried circles.
"so wet already," he purred in your ear. "i bet that's for me." he could feel you pulsing eagerly on his fingertips, coating his fingers more and more with each slide. your hushed, melodic moans had his cock growing painfully hard against your ass.
you let out a whine in protest when he pulled his fingers away from your aching clit, smoothing his hand over your thigh again.
"why'd you stop?" you laid flat on the mattress as he positioned himself between your thighs. his hands dug into the sheets on either side of you, and he leaned down to give you a proper kiss, plump lips moving against yours with barely contained hunger. his hand framed your face as your tongues softly brushed against each other's, easily pulling a small moan out of you. he tugged his pants down just below his knees, finally freeing his cock.
"i just wanna feel you," you couldn't help the whimper that escaped your mouth as he slid his cock through your wet folds. his hands grasped onto the front of your thighs to bring them closer together, wedging his length between the soft flesh. he moves slowly, the ridge of his head nudging your plump clit with perfect pressure.
"i missed you, all day," he breathes out like it's an overdue confession. he laid a hand on your pelvis, trapping his cock between you and his thumb. your arousal coated his cock that was already dripping pre-cum, and the slick sounds of his enthusiastic thrusts filled the room. desperate to reach your peak, your hips moved in tandem with his movements, and he notices. "does that feel good, baby?"
"mhm," your stomach flipped, and you were melting under his intense gaze. he knew exactly what he was doing to you. the teasing lilt in his voice suddenly made you bashful as you realized just how exposed you were. you gasp into back of your hand as the other grasped at the sheets.
"so cute." he cooed at your strained reply, your pouty bottom trapped between your teeth.
a broken moan slips from you at his feverish pace, your words coming out slurred. "fuck, i'm gonna cum." your eyes closed to concentrate on the pleasure building within you. he continued rocking into you, intently watching you fall apart beneath him. your body went tense, eyes fluttering shut as you bit back weak whimpers. your thighs rattled around his waist as the waves of your orgasm subsided. he strokes himself just above your core, feeling his own climax approaching. he pushed the fabric of your gown towards your chest to expose your stomach. "don't wanna ruin this pretty gown."
you bit back a smile and hummed in agreement. it was nothing special, yet the way it adorned you entranced him. he sneaks his hand further up, splaying his palm over your breast firmly. you laid your hand over his and cast your eyes down to his glistening tip between your thighs, disappearing into his fist with every stroke. his fingers dug into your thigh as he fucked his fist, wishing it was your walls surrounding him. his moans grew in frequency, and he was so close to the edge.
with an elongated groan, he painted your stomach with his warm cum, watching the way the pearl rivulets glistened on your skin. his hips stuttered along the ridges of his fingers as he quickly grew sensitive, allowing his cock to soften against you. he leaned over you, capturing your lips in a languid kiss before moving to kiss your cheek.
"i'll be back," he eased his pants back up to his waist. he came back from the bathroom with a small, damp towel.
you sat up on your elbows, your abdomen going rigid at the cold temperature. "sion," you whined. a sheepish giggle left his mouth as he apologized. a smile crept onto your face to match his. you watched as he tenderly cleaned you up and got up to discard the towel in the hamper. you scooted over to let him lay down next to you and immediately pushed yourself into his embrace. you could feel drowsiness settling in as you whispered into his shirt.
"goodnight, for real this time," you pointed an accusing finger at him with narrowed eyes. he guided your hand back to his chest, interlocking with yours gentle, yet firm. "of course,"
"i love you, boo." he rarely heard that pet name from you and it made him smile. "love you too," sleep sneaks under the duvet, wrapping around your bodies. you let it gradually overtake you, slipping into slumber and sharing each others dreams.
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