I Cry

A Lazy Bum | 26

[louises-belcher]

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful

[catchymemes]

The Collection

[glittangrease]

never been to disney but this is hilarious

[possiblypessimistic]

this is ART

[the-chief-moosekateer]

Ya know I’ve never been to Disneyland and it sounds amazing but i don’t think i would actually enjoy myself there just because of the massive amounts of people.

[catchymemes]

[tadpoledancer]

Listen, in this house we stack +2s and +4s and end up having to take 12 cards like bitches

[thirdchairfreshie]

Sorry, gotta agree with UNO on this one, y'all just salty cause you wanna play dirty

[do-black-people-do-stuff-deacti]

[haraamzada-deactivated20191222]

[389]

[equikage]

natural selection has failed the ninja world

[equikage]

do you think naruto has to count tails every time he retreats into his subconscious to ensure that yes, he is speaking to the ninetails, and that a squid hasn’t somehow snuck in there

[capnperaltiago-deactivated20211]

none of my friends will get both of these references so here is maybe the funniest tweet i’ve ever seen

[identity-of-design]

My kind of evolution… thank you, Lanmana‏

[twenty-one-horcruxes]

[gallusrostromegalus]

Let’s Have Another Bullet Point Story, Courtesy of a Friend

So I have a friend that used to be in the tumblers troupe at the renfaire as a contortionist

We were chatting online and she told me to tell you all this story.

I love Kat dearly

but she forgets that she’s stupid strong and hypermobile

so one day she throws her back out

bad enough that she needed painkillers and couldn’t stand upright

“But also I needed Tampons and like.  A Burrito, real bad.”

she’s flat on her back in her apartment when she decides this

and, in an

impeccable

leap of reasoning, decides

“I can’t roll my back forward to sit/stand up like normal.

But I can ARCH my back just fine.

SO 

I’m going to do that and get on my hands and feet in a stomach-in-the-air this-shit-belongs-in-a-horror-movie-type pose,

And amble on down to the 7-11”

“And get me that Burrito”

It is, 

for context, 

after midnight in July during a wildfire so it’s hot as satan’s own asshole and the moon is red and shit’s already generally cursed.

Imagineyou are some poor sap working nights at the world’s deadest 7-11, and you hear the door jangle but you don’t see anyone’s head over the counters.

Whatever.

Except you keep hearing noises like there’s someone in the next aisle over.  

Fucking around in the burrito section

It’s also worth mentioning that Kat

1. sings whatever earworm is currently running through her head when she’s not paying attention

2. sounds EXACTLY like some kind of creepy child from a horror movie when doing so

tonight’s song is something from veggietales.

DUDE ACTUALLY STANDS HIS GROUND

and/or is really fucking high and isn’t sure if he’s tripping balls or notanyway

Kat goes up to pay for her burrito and tampons

She realizes the counter presents something of a challenge, and then demonstrates for me on her kitchen table at 4AM during a different july wildfire, 

exactly 

how she used the shelves to climb up the counter 

like one of the boston robotics beasties

dude stares at her for like, five minutes and says.

“Register’s broke.”

“Oh No!” Says Kat. “Just Take ‘em.” "Really?  I can leave cash-you don’t have to give me change I don’t want you to get in trouble with your manager.” “…Nah.” “Oh!  OK!  Thank you!” “Yeah ok bye.”

Shortly after she arrived back at the apartment, she got a text on her phone from the campus security about  "A Suspicious Individual" at tle 7-11. 

It took her 

FOUR

FUCKING 

YEARS

 to realize she was the suspicious individual

[cyancrown]

god of hammer.

[cyancrown]

my spirit pokemon

[cyancrown]

[renxamamiya]

Now. A censored, spoiler free trailer.

(There aren’t actually that many dogs in the game).

DELTARUNE ON SWITCH TRAILER

[bovivinator]

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

Nobody:

Particle Physics: “hey what if we made up words that made it read like you were having a stroke at first glance”

[the-real-numbers-deactivated202]

💁‍♂️

[parentheticalaside]

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

[blacklaceandcombatboots-deactiv]

who wrote this, expose him

[ofools]

my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.

[tobjoernebaer]

My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.

[tyradicalsaurusreg-deactivated2]

I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN

[lesbian-lizards]

That was difficult to read.

[didi-is-spiffy-deactivated20190]

So ugly

[beforeliteracytherewasdeez]

My name is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated

[sunnysrecovery]

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED

[bonitabreezy]

You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”. I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.

[imoldbutimstillintothat]

“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”

[lyriumandbiotics]

G E T W I D E R L O W E R D O W N

[ventrue-rosary]

“To get back to my body”

[starlitsylveon]

[synonym-for-life]

This is the first time I saw this post with art and I am in tears.

[l0vegl0wsinthedark]

Reblogging again because IT HAS BEEN ILLUSTRATED NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[flagbearer-or-scouts]

Im actually laughing so hard omg

[jumpingjacktrash]

end harpy shaming 2k18

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm