no one wanted him around, but here he is . . . around.
โ (ย muse aย /ย 26ย /ย cis manย /ย him/him) โ did you seeย NOAH HAYESย wandering around the island today? they kind of look likeย DYLAN O'BRIENย from certain angles? i heard around town that theย SALES BROย isย CHARISMATIC, andย CONFIDENT, but alsoย A DUMBASS, andย SELFISH. people say that they remind them ofย A BLUE-STAINED TONGUE, A STRONG BASS THUMPING THROUGH YOUR CHEST, andย THE SMELL DISGUSTINGLY EXPENSIVE COLOGNE, andย BEJEWLED byย TAYLOR SWIFTย is definitely their theme song. they seem like a nice enough person, but we all know how hard it is to keep a pristine reputation in a small town. (ย giaย /ย 26ย /ย estย /ย ย she/herย )ย
๐๐๐๐ฃ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ฃ ๐๐๐ค๐ก๐ !!
schmidt ( new girl ), pimento ( b99 ), donkey ( shrek ), lumiรจre ( beauty and the beast ), flynn rider ( tangled ), sokka ( atla )
๐๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ !!
so first things first, i guess we should start back at the beginning in a galaxy far, far awayโโexcept not really that far away because noah was born and raised in a shitty little trailer on kings haven island.
his parents were hippies who fell in love for one summer in mexico ร la what a girl wants with amanda bynes.ย
*sighs wistfully* but summer couldnโt last forever. his dad went back to california to take over the family wine grove, and his mom went crawling back to live with in with her parents on the island she so desperately wanted to escape from.ย
he talked to his dad occasionally growing up, but honestly he was happy with the expensive gifts he sent him for his birthday and christmas.ย
mostly, he spent his time with his grandma. she is ,,, a nut, but so much fun. sheโs a sculptor, and she always let noah throw wet clay at the walls of her studio.ย
he spent his entire educational career fucking around. he skipped class all the time to hook up or dick around with his friends. he managed to hide a lot of it bc his grandma isnโt exactly the type of parental figure to check his grades, but she did take his car away when he almost didnโt graduate lmao.ย
he played soccer through a comp team bc they donโt have a gpa requirement. he didnโt really take it seriously, but he was pretty good at the state level.ย
he had to go to summer school basically every summer, but the teachers usually didnโt mind bc he brought donuts and pizza all the time.ย
he started at nyu with a soccer scholarship ( literally the only reason he got in was bc of test scores, pretty white boy priveledge, and his athleticism ), but he showed up hungover to practice too many times, so they cut him sophomore year. thankfully, lil bby boy had his estranged, guilty dad to pay his tuition.ย
he graduatedโbarely, but he did it-and got a gig selling software, so he travels a lot and works from home.
sometimes heโs like maybe i should do something with my life and make my grandma proud, but mostly heโs like...or i can just keep visiting her and doing absolutely nothing with my life.ย
๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ค๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ช !!
heโs uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh a big ho because hard work ?? relationships ?? rejection ?? we donโt know her here in this house.
a chronic flirt. hate him. ย
but !! heโs v upfront about his intentions, or actually i guess his lack of intentions, bc his grandma would kick his ass if he played a girl just to get in her pants.
heโs really chill. it takes a lot to get under his skin bc he doesnโt give a shit about literally anything. itโs his biggest problem, honestly.ย
his life motto is you canโt fail if you donโt try lmao. the apathy is strong in this one.ย
he is always down to get into shenanigans of any kind, especially during work hours.ย
๐จ๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ ๐๐ค !!
best friends: ( m, f, nb ), childhood friends: ( m, f, nb ), messy ex: ( f, nb ), fwb: ( f, nb), casual hookup ( f, nb), enemies: ( m, f, nb )
hmu OR like this and get ready to catch these loving hands.
