Nefarious Juggernaut

aural equivalent of a slow burn

[annewrights]

I get it now.. the feeling I felt when I had no words for it. People are not meant to settle for half loves. We are meant for so much more than that. And so I left one of the greatest loves I have ever known because it became painfully lukewarm.

[meanwhilepoetry]

Nobody warns little girls that girlhood is a war. Even when they teach us to dress in politeness for armour, force us to smile as a shield, yet they give us no weapons, because good girls aren't supposed to have swords at the ready. No one says the words, "The world is a battlefield not the meadows we promised you. When the forest fire comes for you and it will, the best you can do is run."

Nikita Gill

[annewrights]

Don't tell me you're just another perfect guy on paper. Show me your heart and watch me hold it gently.

[litsnaps]

[litsnaps]

[annewrights]

Happy November!

It's that time of the year again. I almost forgot this time. A lot of days are too busy spent on living life. I love this beautiful life I've made for myself.. one that came with a thousand sacrifices, of choosing me each time no matter what. This was a fight year. It's nothing short of amazing.

That year was a complete 180. I found myself in the depths of who I said I would never become. I found myself the girl who I never wanted to be. Living in lies I have set up for myself and indecencies that will now die with me. Living like such never gave me a day of peace. In the moments when love made me feel like it was worth turning my whole world upside down for, the brief moments of clarity whispered. In my heart, I knew it was not the way love was supposed to be.

[annewrights]

I waited for the tears that didn’t come, the heart that no longer yearns, the heartstring that didn’t pull.

It didn’t come.. unlike how I believed it would. It didn’t come and I’m not sure how I find that.

[annewrights]

[litsnaps]

[annewrights]

Not everyone will appreciate you. Your energy will not sit well with all you encounter, but that rarely means you're intrinsically the problem. So long as you stay in your lane, you can be unapologetically whoever you are with no holds barred.

[annewrights]

There will be no warning

No preamble of some sort

Another ordinary day

Often just like that

You’ll find things that taste just like home

And soon enough

All the usuals get burried in the past

And everything new, once terrifying

Builds on the possibilities

Of beautiful memories forming

[annewrights]

I used to think I’m the product of the people I attached myself to, people who I used to think I needed to survive. I used to think I was emotionally dependent on a lot of people back home. But when I left, the wide world showed me how capable I am without anyone. That’s not to say no one helped me reached where I am today. But it’s to reframe the existing picture — to claim the achievements, the changes made, and the growth ascribed, to wield them all into a crown and scepter and remind myself: I got myself here.

[annewrights]

Liberation is the past having no control over you. To have it hold nothing over your peace, despite how much it was supposed to rock the boat. It's finally seeing people as they are, not as how you romanticized them to be. And finally, finally them proving you right. There are no regrets here. Just a many thanks.

[quotespile]

“That’s one of the things I admire about you… You have some kind of boundless faith in the future. You never give up.”

— Richard Yates, A Special Providence

[academic-vampire]

𝔰𝔱𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔠𝔦𝔬𝔲𝔰𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔰

[earthanthem]

[annewrights]

The Universe was a witness to the respect I served on the table when I walked away; the grace I made space for, and how much protection I blanketed people who used to matter this past year. I'm slowly unfolding my tight grip and the silence and restraint I've kept at bay. That's my cue. Silently though, not out of want or need for attention. But a quiet silent prayer drawn from old hopes and dreams forgotten. This time, I can finally allow people in on the secret. I shall grant you witness to strength and what I mean when I say I choose me all the damn time. Let me show you life lately.

– On a Wednesday, at a cafe.. I watched it begin again