AnonMouse

[anonmouseur]

AU where Ilya's in Luca's age group, they terrorize assholes on the internet together as they grow up, build their own game site along the way bc fuck Roblox, and plot to make Old Man Shane theirs through the power of redbull, fake confidence, their pretty asses, and their even prettier dicks.

And they drag Cliff along the way because he's too hot to leave to the masses and he's just happy to be included.

[anonmouseur]

Crossovers are so dope like what do you mean Evan Buckley and Jim Street used to fuck??? I love it, give me 100 more and make them endgame, none of that using them as buildup for another ship bs

[anonmouseur]

AU where Shane is in Luca's age group, a fellow fanboy, and has too many crushes in the league to keep track of.

They meet online, become best friends, meet in person a few times and eventually move in together when they're both drafted to the Cens.

Naturally, as the hottest and youngest players on the team, ppl have expectations about their sex lives.

What they'd never guess is that after winning awards back to back for half a decade, the two gained the attention of Boston's loverboys.

Or that Rozanov and Marleau liked sharing.

[anonmouseur]

I am on a roll😭

Bartender Ilya wants to make the perfect drink for his favorite customer. Ginger ale is delicious but boring and one flavor. He wants the man to moan at how good of a mix he makes, wants to watch him savor it and tell him what flavors he liked best, and more importantly, he wants to taste a creation of his own on the man's tongue.

So he's not very normal about getting Shane to taste test for him, but luckily, the man isn't very normal either when he eagerly accepts.

When it finally happens, Ilya has to hold it together long enough to get Cliff to take over before he's dragging the man to his apartment upstairs and devouring him.

[anonmouseur]

TYPICAL MASSEUR PORN BUT ITS NOT TYPICAL BC IT'S ILYA TRAINING NEWBIE SHANE AND CLIFF JOKING THAT HE MAY HAVE TO SWITCH OVER BECAUSE SHANE'S HANDS ARE SO GOOD, AND ILYA GETS JEALOUS SO HE ASKS SHANE TO LET HIM FEEL BECAUSE THIS SIMPLY CANT BE TRUE BUT CLIFF IS LOWKEY RIGHT AND NOW HE'S HARD AND SHANE OFFERS TO TAKE CARE OF THAT AND ILYA HAS TO FUCK HIM ABOUT IT BC SHANE SHOULD FEEL HIS HANDS TOO

[anonmouseur]

More AUs where Shane isn't a player but everyone loves him anyway:

He's a speed skater and he has athletes of all types in his DMs begging him to teach them how to move like him

He's an architect and after Hayden brags to anyone who'll listen about how well built his house is, his phone is primarily filled with hockey vets

He's a zamboni driver and the early birds of the league make him an urban legend by saying they saw an angel on the ice before their games.

He runs a sports magazine and directs his own shoots. He's had way too many players get hard throughout them and is mind boggled when his peers tell him, no, the hockey players do not get hard when we tell them to sit down or tell them they're doing well

He's a model and coach for a kids team. As a result of his success for his side job, they take field trips often. When select teams notice a man with an army of kids sitting front and center, they begin to think of them as their good luck charms. They always win when they're there.

He's a stripper and the amount of teams that hired him as a prank is ridiculous. Jokes on them that a majority of the men they targeted ended up enjoying their time with him and he almost always left to silence as not even the pranksters themselves were immune to his ass.

He's a musician and almost stops going to games when players start giving themselves whiplash as they spot him.

He's a gym trainer and every athlete that prioritizes not being a giant bruise as they age follows every tutorial he posts and hire him if they can.

David ended up going pro and Shane has been hockey's darling from the jump. When it's revealed he won't be entering the draft but instead attending college, everyone's bummed but he still gets cheers from teams when they spot him in a crowd.

He becomes Ottawa's youngest coach Pre-Wiebe and singlehandedly transforms them without anyone noticing. He makes more than one person shit their pants, but most teams are smart enough to beg him to join them, even if he nearly laughs as he declines.

[anonmouseur]

Age difference prompt: Shane is an older, quiet biker with a tongue piercing that caused the few people that were graced with it to ascend.

Cliff Marleau is one of those people, and after the overexcited man points him out in the crowd during a game to one Ilya Rozanov, the younger man becomes one of those people too.

Cue misunderstandings galore as Ilya thinks Shane is some sex god on a mission to turn all the hot athletes the world has to offer to goo, while the biker debates if he should jump the gun and ask him out.

[anonmouseur]

[anonmouseur]

Crack Prompt: Wyatt kicks everyone's ass on trivia night so the rest of the Cens sit in on random college classes so their growing folder of facts get them closer and closer to bagging a win.

Logically, Hollanov turn it into a competition of their own.

[anonmouseur]

Happy Pride, today's prompt is Shane letting Ilya doll him up for a private photoshoot and thoroughly enjoying how good they both look in their mirror when they're done🤘

[anonmouseur]

Can we plz lose the patronizing "who taught you that word?" bit??😭🙏

It was only slightly funny at the beginning but now it's overly dragged

Y'all know this man likely has a higher vocab than people who have English as a 1st language, right? He learned via immersion alongside the studying he had to do. He knows words.

[anonmouseur]

Shane and Ilya live a long and fulfilling life bc I say so, but ultimately die in tragedy when a drunk driver hits their car.

When they open their eyes, it's not to any version of an afterlife, but to different bodies entirely in a different universe.

Shane woke up as 26 year old Evan Buckley, and Ilya as 36 year old Tommy Kinard. Thankfully, they retain their memories.

Unfortunately, they have to grapple with the shock of entering an entirely different profession, the changes in their identity, and the apparent loss of previous loved ones.

[seraphtrevs]

STOP no more live-action remakes. We're going the other way now. Animated Casablanca. Animated The Godfather. Animated Oppenheimer. Animated Fight Club.

[anonmouseur]

They can start with my goated procedurals and BBC's Merlin. But make at least two of the characters canonically queer, and one of them better be Morgana. Give the people what they want😔

[anonmouseur]

Bc I'm allergic to not making you all ill,

"For the record, I'm everyone's type," but it's Cliff at Hollanov's third wedding with all their friends to Ilya who jokingly threatens him as he takes Shane away after Marly stole him for a dance

[anonmouseur]

Any one of the game changer scions are going to be the coolest and weirdest kids at school.

Like wdym your dad was almost killed by your uncle "Scotty", but he's not his literal brother, it's Scott fucking Hunter?? And your other Uncles, infamous, hottest museum curator to ever exist, Kip Grady, and TILF (tree I'd like to fuck) Carter Vaughn had to drag him away before they created WW3 in Yuna Hollander's backyard over a hotdog??? (David ate it as punishment and they were both sentenced to dish duty together, the kids still tease them about it to this day and Ilya has nightmares about being domestic with Scott)

Why is Fabian Salah picking you up from school in a I.Am.Gia two piece???? He's your DAD?? Wyatt Hayes really your Uncle??? (Ryan and Fabian in fact, never announce anything about their kid to the media bc fuck them and bc they protect them like they're in the mob, as they should)

Is that?? Luca Haas??? Carrying your science project???? (Barris' baby wasn't risking his volcano with his rents, he dislikes being mad at them but WILL argue up a storm with any of the "rooks" lmao)

ZANE BOODRAM STILL WRITES NOTES FOR YOU TO FIND IN YOUR LUNCH?? (Milo's about to graduate hs)

[anonmouseur]

Stealing this from Yuuri on Ice, but what if Shane danced in his free time aside from yoga? No one knows aside from Joe tho, not even Hayden or J. J, and he only gets on the pole when they're in the same place and they can find a private studio.

Until he moves to Ottawa and finds that he doesn't have to go in someone's basement to do it, he can do it in his own house. So he buys a pole and sets it up, and Ilya comes home to his husband doing a clearly practiced routine and is switching between confusion and horniness with a quickness.

[anonmouseur]

The only hazing on the Cens is being subjected to Evan's playlist after being informed he's the team dj