married shane x ilya
ilya pays the bill at restaurants by lying that he’s going to the bathroom - shane starts doing this too and now it’s a race to see who can covertly pay first
shane is super outdoorsy and can fix a lot of stuff around the house AND has tools!!!! ilya calls him mr get it done after hearing the GloRilla song
they take polaroids at the cottage
shane INSISTS on russian only days to accelerate his learning
shane uses ilya as his personal weighted blanket and other sensory grounding techniques (“can you grab and pull my hair” “kinky” “no - actually later”)
shane collected ilya’s hockey cards but had to have a huge binder of everyone’s so it doesn’t seem like he’s only collecting ilya’s cards - ilya has shane’s rookie card in his wallet (awwww)
lots of cuteness aggression doesn’t matter who’s around!!!!!!
“listen” “listening”
ilya’s entire camera roll goes from random pictures to shane shane shane - shane sleeping shane eating shane standing infront of the tv claiming he’s not watching shane in hockey gear shane cooking shane with anya shane with the angry kitten face shane at the cottage shane at the camps shane in his childhood bedroom shane shane shane
when apart; ilya sends 100 voice notes a day to shane (shane listens to them all together like asmr)
ilya will kiss shane just to steal lip balm
if shane is laying on the couch ilya will lay on him and put his head in shane’s shirt (“you’re stretching out the material”)
ilya learns the phrase “hate to see you go but love to watch you leave” and uses it constantly
their shared google calendar is run like the navy (“hollander i don’t see blowjobs on thursday? i will add” “STOP IT MY MOM SEES THIS CALENDAR”)
ilya lowballs people on fb marketplace and then uses shane’s account to lowball them further
ilya will lick shane’s face when the situation calls for it
ilya’s snoring is so bad you can hear it from other rooms but it’s the only noise shane can sleep through its like white noise for shane
shane loves showing ilya canadian deep cuts (house hippo commercial!!!)
ilya winking at shane is to shane what shane wearing glasses is to ilya
shane peppers ilya’s face with a million kisses regularly but especially when ilya gets hurt
ilya writes to do lists / grocery lists in cyrillic and his penmanship is gorgeous (shane is surprised his jock hockey player husband has nice handwriting and that it took him 10 years to see it)
ilya calls troy his best friend and shane gets jealous
shane carries the bags when they go anywhere
ilya is shane’s emergency contact but shane’s parents are ilya’s emergency contact
“my shane”
