I’m writing this post laying next to my sleeping girlfriend and my dog, living happily and comfortably as an out gay woman.
Back when I started this blog, I was none of those things.
It was only 2012 when I was laying next to the same girl, so scared of myself and truly acting on my sexuality that I slept as far away from her as I possibly could and snuck on the livestream of the Valentines Day episode of Glee to watch Brittana’s big moment instead of actually engaging with another human being.
Naya Rivera, be it through Santana or through the work she did in interviews or the way she spoke about the community that her character represented, genuinely changed my life. She was there for me during my formative years, when all I had to turn to was media, because real life wasn’t telling me much of anything about how to negotiate being gay and happy at the same time. From the age of 15, day in day out for years, she was there. Her character was telling me that it was possible to live happily this way, and Naya herself was telling me that I deserved love and respect and that I was seen.
It’s a hard thing to understand to mourn someone you’ve never met, but my younger self is so emotionally connected to her, and my older self is so thankful, that I feel the loss deeply.
She helped change my life and so many other peoples, and I will personally be forever thankful. I hope she knew how much she meant to so many.
