*Insert Thought Provoking/Clever Thing*

Mid-twenties and annoyed at existing. If you need anything tagged, shoot me a message.

[gumy-shark]

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[miketon]

[phantomrose96]

I wonder if “we have to torture this special character. in the lab facility. with secret science.” is an interest all 12-year-old children share or were we just the generation exposed to Maximum Ride

[phantomrose96]

You’re right. How could I forget to credit anime for its role in putting the special character in the secret torture facility (for science).

[sympathischeufos]

Genuine question: Isn't this just Bond villainy and/or medieval torture dungeon? Or what kind of facility are we talking about?

[phantomrose96]

The Facility is a critically important part here. See it’s a Science Facility. It’s run by a very shady clandestine organization, which is incredibly powerful. They’re maybe part of the government, or if not the government then something Illuminati-like.

As such The Facility is very high tech, and likely buried underground or hidden somewhere no normal person can access. The Torture being done is for Science, which the Facility is for. It’s all scientists in lab coats doing the torture. There is so much lab equipment and probably a lot of devices hooked up to the special character which will beep and go off the charts when the special character has a violent mind explosion. This part is important.

[phantomrose96]

A lot of really good mentions in the notes here

Mewtwo

Secrets of Nimh

Wolverine

Akira

Elfen Lied

Shadow the Hedgehog

And a special mention to the couple of people identifying that a 12-year-old stuck in school all day is, perhaps, in a way, a special character being tortured in the science facility.

[the-gummy-worms-have-me]

Idk if its not that deep btw. I have a shovel and too much time on my hands, so its as deep as I want it to be.

[fizpup]

Get real.

[pastelpolitoed]

tumblr glitched while loading this, so instead of "dude get real" being the punchline, it was like this cat put on glasses for the first time and their friend was just. a legit dog. and not like them at all.

[fizpup]

This is killing me

[kingcatnine]

reminding everyone to wear sunscreen because the sun is a deadly laser: 😁😊

having to spend 10 minutes slathering yourself in grease just to safely be outside in the sun for 20 minutes. because the sun is a deadly laser: 😐👎

[distractionsfromthefood]

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[sceptixfakemon]

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

[sceptixfakemon]

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

[gallusrostromegalus]

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

[starathsbunker]

#Helios was declawed by his former owners so he doesn't just slap things he dislikes like most cats#he really only feels confident in hissing at them#Especially because a lot of the thing he doesn't like are bugs and those are sharp sometimes :(#Selene has figured this out and now when she hears him hiss she sprints over the kill the fuck out of the bug#Helios has learned she will do this so he'll hiss at stuff louder and louder until she hears him#A nervous old man and his emotional support homicidal maniac tags by @gallusrostromegalus

I couldn't reblog without the tags because the context is hilarious

[gallusrostromegalus]

A Nervous Old Man (right) and his Emotional Support Violence Machine (Left)

Yes, he is more than twice her size. Yes, he is five times her age. Yes, he cries like a big baby until she kills Unacceptable Scary Things (earwigs) for him.

[maryfitzroy]

Have you seen Gracie? Officials in Texas search for missing giraffe

Gracie the giraffe is described as having rounded ears. She went missing from a ranch in Real County.

im crying dude

[fandomsandfeminism]

Yeehaw yall. Gracie is on the run.

[fandomsandfeminism]

To answer some common questions in the tags:

1. How do you lose a Giraffe? She apparently scaled a cliff that served as part of the enclosure (which the other giraffes in the herd had shown no interest in climbing.)

2. Well it should be easier to find her, she's a whole ass giraffe? Yeah, you'd think, but Texas ranches are fuckin huge. The man has apparently hired a helicopter and several drones to aide the search, but no luck yet. She's been seen on some game cameras on the nearby ranches though. But she's sneaky.

3. Why does a random guy in Texas have a herd of giraffes? Because it's Texas and we have basically no exotic animal regulations. No really. If you have enough land out in the hill country, you can just own stuff. It's fuckin nuts.

[nochd]

What's sending me is the "described as having rounded ears", as if to distinguish her from other stray giraffes that concerned neighbours might encounter.

[captaindibbzy]

I mean given Texas apparently has no exotic animal regulation the fact you might encounter another stray giraffe is low, but not zero.

[mildmayfoxe]

1) any stretching is better than no stretching

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are

[whitepeopletwitter]

[blanketfortarchitect]

[rebloggingistheenemy]

[inviernodel95]

Thank you. I hope everybody thinks this

[cozy-stardust]

Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[ilovecoelacanths]

went to a new optometrist today wearing my squid facts ‘save our freaks’ shirt from @sarahmackattack that has a strawberry squid on it. and i wasn’t even thinking about it but the optometrist walked in and he was like ‘oh what does your shirt say’ so i showed him and he was like ‘oh that’s neat!’ and then i thought he might like to know about strawberry squid eyes since they have weird eyes and he is an optometrist and all. so i was like ‘yeah it’s actually a real kind of squid called a strawberry squid, their eyes are really cool because they have one big yellow-green one and one small blue one’ and he kind of gasped and went ‘oh my god that’s so interesting i wonder why they have that. do you know what their retina composition is like?’ and i watched as he minimized my chart on the computer and started looking up images of strawberry squid and then he googled ‘strawberry squid retina composition’ and he was like ‘sorry we’ll get to your eye exam in a moment i just really want to find out’ LMAO 10/10 optometrist experience will be returning

[sarahmackattack]

Hell yeah

[soychronicprocrastinator]

He’s in the right for that this is so cool

[ilovecoelacanths]

it’s true strawberry squid are pretty awesome

[homunculus-argument]

I'm not a catholic and have never even seen one up close, but I think the pope should start excommunicating people on the reg again. Just start publicly going "you know what, fuck you, you can't sit with us. You're not allowed in church or heaven on the grounds of being JD Vance. Eat shit and go to hell."

Stir shit up a little. What's the point of being the mouthpiece of god if nothing you say has consequences.

[xeno42alpha]

they’d have to hold anouther Vatican Council for that, as funny as excommunicating the snivelling litte bitch Vance would be

[homunculus-argument]

Oh, that's lame. Why does the pope have a council he has to answer to. Doesn't he have some kind of mandate of heaven over the catholic world. I always thought he's free to do whatever he wants.

[serenityslain]

I feel like there’s got to be some example in the annals of Catholic/Papal history as to why he isn’t free to do whatever he wants without a council but I’m just not well versed in that to think of anything in particular.

[notoriouscarrotman]

I think one of them excomungated or however you say that the previous pope's corpse. So I'd say probably something like that

[homunculus-argument]

The catholic church needs to return to its roots and start doing outlandish absurd shit again. Boring calculated everyday run-of-the-mill intentional goal-oriented human cruelty that they do on the reg these days is getting really bland.