Roses On My Table

The thoughts of an agender, pansexual, 40-something anarchist w/dysthymia

[saintsebastiensbf]

Herbert Mason, Gilgamesh : A Verse Narrative

[mournfulroses]

Miguel Hernández, from The Selected Poems of Miguel Hernandez "Elegy for Ramón Sijé,"

[cyberxbattalion]

[anotherroseanotherroad]

I fucking miss you

[wedarkacademia]

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

[anotherroseanotherroad]

All I can think about now is you.

In every timeline you love me.

It’s so unfair how close we were to finally being together.

[anotherroseanotherroad]

In every timeline I love you too.

[hatin]

via weheartit

[eyfay]

You happened, and absence never felt so real.

[anotherroseanotherroad]

I had no idea how much a part of me you were until you were gone.

[iambrillyant]

“walking down your authentic path can be one of the loneliest roads to travel on because the longer you’re on it, the more you realize that only a select few will be compatible with who you are with no mask on.”

— billy chapata

[anotherroseanotherroad]

We followed such different paths, but we always had same problems and experiences. I’m going to miss sharing ideas and advice and attractions with one another.

Without effort we would move from life to our mutual struggles to philosophy, love, desire, holiness, and compassion.

I wish we could have had more moments together. I can’t stand that I’ve lost the person who made me feel so held in every which way.

[vexheart]

"The number of hours we have together is actually not so large. Please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. Please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it."

poem by Mikko Harvey

[dissociativecollective]

Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving. I mourn what could have been, what should have been, what will not be, what I cannot save.

[anotherroseanotherroad]

I still keep hoping I wake up from this nightmare, and I have a chance to go back to find a way so you make it safely into my arms.

[joshuamrl]

I accept your absence, my love, but my soul cannot fathom a world without you. That is my confession.

[seekingstars]

“…I believe life is a continuum, and that no one really dies, they just drop their physical body and we'll all meet again, like the song says. It's sad but it's not devastating if you think like that. Otherwise I don't see how anybody could ever, once they see someone die, that they'd just disappear forever and that's what we're all bound to do. I'm sorry but it just doesn't make any sense, it's a continuum, and we're all going to be fine at the end of the story.”

David Lynch & Matthew Sweet

[anotherroseanotherroad]

Lately I have wondered how all the things you said to me while you were alive reverberates so much more intensely now.

It’s like we no longer have distance to separate us, only the veil of existence.

We have shaped one another’s life from the moment we met. Why should death keep us from one another?

[kosmogrl]

[overthinking-raccoon]

I gotta say, I hate grief so much. It always pops up at the worst times.

[weltenwellen]

Joanna Klink, from “Night Sky”, The Nightfields

[giveyourgriefgrace]

I’ll never stop praying and believing that I’ll see you again. That love doesn’t go away just because you die. That death is the end. I pray that it’s not. One day I’ll know, and I hope you’ll be there waiting for me.

[anotherroseanotherroad]

You talked about seeing us in heaven together. And now I cling to those words.

You were so proud of me and what I was doing with my life. And now I have to carry on with a life that kept us apart.

It’s so unfair. This world is so cruel sometimes.

So now all I have is all the promises of eternal love you gave me and the hope I’ll see you again in the next life.

[bedon-esm-deactivated20260316]

[anotherroseanotherroad]

One day would have made all the difference.

[4agonies]

Somewhere, far far away, in less miserable times,

I shall meet you, yet once again.

When fate is finally by our side and the stars that seemed so far, linger,

I will crash into you like how the sea meets the shore.

But this time, it will end with us and not your shirt being stained by my blood that preaches your name.

[poemsillneversend]

In another life, we’ll stay up all night together.

We’ll manage our lives together seamlessly.

We’ll clean on Saturday mornings so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend.

I’ll make the coffee and pick out an album for us to jam out to.

You’ll sing along to our favorite songs while making pancakes.

We’ll laugh and dance and you’ll use the batter-covered whisk as a pretend microphone.

We’ll finish cleaning up after breakfast, and I’ll join you in the shower.

We’ll scrub each others backs, and make out while rinsing off under the hot water.

You’ll follow me back to bed, the bed you freshly made with clean sheets just hours ago.

We’ll make a mess of it and make it up again.

You’ll tuck in the corners.

We’ll spend the afternoon at the library.

I’ll pack a picnic and you’ll read your old favorite books to me.

I’ll kiss you in the dusty History section, and when I think no one is looking,

I’ll touch and tease you some more.

You’ll take me to the bathroom and lock the door because you want me so bad

You just can’t wait any longer.

We’ll get caught and almost get thrown out and we’ll run away laughing.

I’ll drive us home, but maybe I’ll stop somewhere secluded first

And touch you just how you like it, from the safety of the backseat.

In another life, we’re so fucking good together.

I’ll hold you when you need to cry,

you’ll make me a hot cup of tea when I forget how to take care of myself.

We’ll cook dinner together.

I’ll wash the dishes and you’ll put them away.

I’ll clean and cut up fruits and vegetables to snack on.

You’ll motivate me to be good to myself when I don’t feel like it.

We’ll remind each other to take our vitamins and meds.

I’ll make you a smoothie when you don’t feel like eating.

You’ll tell me I’m beautiful when I don’t recognize my own reflection.

I’ll tell you you’re worth the world, because you are.

I’ll sweep the floors so you can mop.

I’ll do the laundry and you’ll mow the lawn.

When we’re both having a bad day,

We’ll let each other be as grouchy as we need to without judgement.

You’ll kiss me when I can’t make myself get out of bed.

I’ll gently play with your hair when you can’t sleep.

I’ll say something careless on occasion and you’ll be rightfully upset.

We’ll both feel guilty.

I’ll shut down and you’ll implode.

You’ll call me out and I’ll get defensive.

I’ll take way too long to process and understand my feelings as well as yours,

And you’ll get tired of explaining it to me and eventually give up.

You’ll feel invalidated and I’ll feel confused.

We’ll work through it and try not to hurt each other again,

Even though we both know it’ll happen again anyways.

We’ll grow to resent each other in new ways.

In another life, maybe we’re still no good for each other.

[anotherroseanotherroad]

In another lifetime, our mental illnesses and weaknesses don’t keep us apart…and you make it out to see me instead of dying, and we get to have the life we deserved.