Expressions & Reflections

Welcome to my blog! So lovely to have found you here.

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Happy Birthday  Eli!! 

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Sending Spheres of Rose Quartz Crystal to all my relations across all time space and dimensions. 

This vision came to me during the Turtle Dance of self love in Seattle. I often experience visual imagery while in meditative and ecstatic states. I really enjoy working with visualization, especially in relation to healing and transformation, and hope to begin drawing and painting the more of the images that come to me. 

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My friends, do not lose heart. We were made for these times. I have heard from so many recently who are deeply and properly bewildered. They are concerned about the state of affairs in our world now. Ours is a time of almost daily astonishment and often righteous rage over the latest degradations of what matters most to civilized, visionary people. You are right in your assessments. The lustre and hubris some have aspired to while endorsing acts so heinous against children, elders, everyday people, the poor, the unguarded, the helpless, is breathtaking. Yet, I urge you, ask you, gentle you, to please not spend your spirit dry by bewailing these difficult times. Especially do not lose hope. Most particularly because, the fact is that we were made for these times. Yes. For years, we have been learning, practicing, been in training for and just waiting to meet on this exact plain of engagement ... One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these - to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity. Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to call the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do. There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I to have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.... When a great ship is in harbor and moored, it is safe, there can be no doubt. But that is not what great ships are built for.

Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run With the Wolves

 What is it that lights you up? fuels your passion and creativity? makes you feel the truth of magic and wonder? What is your business to attend to? What calls to you? Does one need a purpose? What gives you purpose? 

This is an excerpt from a passage by Clarissa Pinkola Estes that was read before our morning dance. As we navigate these wild waves and currents of life, remember how strong and stable your ship is. That you are capable of steering your ship straight through the storms and bumpy waters to deliver your goods, explore far off lands, and make connections, for that is what you have been made for. 

Todays theme; Passion, Purpose, and Calling of the World. 

Today we danced to embody our passion, to source an authentic expression of self, and offer it to the world as a gift. Through authentic self expression, one is able to access and share the gifts of their unique experience. Each individual has a distinct perspective, and set of special gifts. Everyone has a role to play in community and this unfolding beautiful-chaotic existence we call life on earth. 

I often get lost in the vastness of issues on our planet at the moment. Some days I wonder if what I am doing is enough to help, if it is my role to help, and if so, how can I? Yet I think one of the best things one can do in order to keep their sails uplifted and moving forward is to focus on what lights them up and makes them feel full of life and vitality. In the words of Howard Thurman: “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive. And go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive.” 

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Currently camping at Seirra Hot Springs, en ceremony, dancing, soaking, connecting, transgrowing. Sun rays, days of play. Oceans of emotion, flowing from my ancestral ties through my body, out my eyes, out my mouth, out my nose, and out my toes. Cultivating fire, creativity, and gifts for the earth and all the peoples

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Elemental Alchemy

There is only one rule in dancing freedom, and it’s that you can not do it wrong. We welcome everyone to the dance floor, and the full array of expression that comes with you. We welcome you and your authentic self. And we welcome the Elements, Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Ether, to help guide us along the dance journey. To bring us into our self, and to remind us that we humans are a part of nature, made up of earth, and star stuff. 

“Think of the elements as your alchemical partners on the path of embodied Oneness... Work with them in hundreds of ways: bring them physically into the space... connect their qualities directly to somatic states, textures and qualities, invoke them shamanically as allies and forces that hold space for the larger transformative process..” - Samantha Sweetwater, Dancing Freedom Facilitator Training Manual (41)

We are of the elements. Alchemists work with the elements to create solutions, magic, and precious metals. For the past week, I have been learning how to use the elements alchemically on the dance floor. Using the Dancing Freedom ceremony, practicing elemental alchemy, I will hold space for people to find solutions, step into magic, and experience precious moments. 

EARTH

Earth is home. Earth is my bones, a structural foundation, which has the power to quake, crack and rumble. Earth is rooted and heavy. We are connected to the earth by gravity, the descending aspect of love, the force that holds us between the earth and the cosmos. Earth is primal and instinctive, asking us to recognize our solid physical distinctness. We eat earth, then our bodies create more earth (when we give our poo back). The other day, when we were focusing on the world, one in the group shared that some people believe that the reason humanity's relationship with the earth and the other beings is out of whack is because we have forgotten how to give our shit back to the earth. The earth takes in waste and old debris and turns it into rich life supporting nutrients.  How one is with their body is how they are with the world. 

Action- Arrival, Beginning, Ending, Grounding, Composting, Return, Structure, Foundation

Feeling- Home, Nurture, Embrace, Support, Trust, Quiescence, Connection, Base

Affirmation- I Be, I Am Here, I Am Safe, I Am Grounded, I Am Home, I Give 

WATER

Water is life. Water is a carrier, it is able to suspend our bodies, and medicines for drinking. It takes on the shape of whatever container, thought, gesture or shape it is given (check out Dr. Emoto). It mirrors what ever it is around, seemingly taking on what ever is near, like the color of the ocean, reflecting the meeting of the green earth life and the blue sky. Water embodies the feminine aspect of connected flow. It is pulled by the moon. Water takes the path of least resistance and is constantly flowing back to the ocean. Although we are mainly land mammals, we also have water bodies. Our lives are created in the warm watery liquids of our mother’s womb. Water represents emotion, the ocean of emotion, which contains deep dark depths, uncertainty, and potential fears. Yet water has the ability to cleanse us, to wash away that with is no longer needed. Water is one’s willingness to feel, to flow with emotion whole staying connected and without remaining attached. 

Action- Flow, Lubrication, Washing, Resonance, Reflection, Transmission, Transduction, Connection, Drip, Splash, Wave

Feeling- Emotion, Compassion, Self-love, Mercy, Peace, Availability, Willingness, Gooey, Squishy, Moist, Wet, Soft

Affirmation- I Respond, I Am Connected, I Embrace, I Flow, I Release

FIRE

Fire is will. Fire warms our bodies and brings us light. It is consumption and purification. It burns away illusion and illuminates truth through clarity. Fire purifies the eyes and the inner eye, activating the power of vision. Fire is passion and power. Fire is fierce and has the ability to scorch whatever gets in its way. .Actively clearing the path and lighting the way, fire is one’s will and the source from which action toward actualization arises. With in the past few years, I have had a distant relationship to fire. I feel more connected to the other elements. Fire can inflate ego and be aggressive and excessive in its consumption. However, since the day before I left for this training, Dragon medicine has been coming through many avenues, helping me cultivate my inner fire, fierceness, power, ability to illuminate illusion and unapologetically embody my authentic creative expression. 

Action- Fuel, Consume, Purify, Revel, Vison, Transformation, Transmutation, Burn, Scorch, Wild

Feeling- Emotion, Will, Passion, Creativity, Power, Intensity, Clarity, Love

Affirmation- I Choose, I Am Light, I Am Love, I Am Energy, I am Divine Will, I Am Action, I Am Power, I Am Creative

AIR

Air is levity. Like the winds, air is constant change. Air is swift, quick, and moves with ease. Like a faery, pixie, or a trickster, air is spontaneity. Air is a messenger, carrying communication through the sky. Bringing vision, birds fly through the air, obtaining an above-view perspective. Air is both breath and mental processes. Air fills our lungs, plays with our hair, and sweeps across our skin. Air opens us to be as big as we can be, like the sky. It is also said that air connects us with the now, the N-atural O-rder of W-onder. 

Action- Change, Refining, Spontaneity, Clarity, Subtle Holding, Flight, Lifting, Breezing, Breathing, Fan, Tornado, Whip

Feeling- Innocence, Mental Clarity, Lightness, Buoyancy, Child-like, Wonder, Freedom, Joy, Bubbly (air+water), Flaky, Swept, Presence, Open

Affirmation- I Give, I Touch, I Am Lightness, I Am a Divine Child of the Light, I Am Love, I Am Effortless Change. 

Ether

Ether is all that is. Ether is spaciousness and absolute potential. It is the element that holds all things, which holds our cosmic and soul consciousness. On the physical plane, ether is the loving awareness of the complete organism; our breath, our movements, our tissues, and the space within and through all of our cells, and sensing into our DNA. Ether is the bridge to the quantum. Ether represents the atomic level of all existence, the virationsions of all particles, and frequencies of sound waves. I associate ether with magic and the underlying, energetic, fabric of reality. When I enter into ether, I enter into the void. Ether holds the space between different dimensions and astral planes. “In ether, we are welcomed back to the self that is beyond space, time, and matter”(41).

Action- Stillness, Expansion, Space, Emptiness, Fullness, Infinitude, Projection, Formlessness, Is-ness

Feeling- Bliss, Expansion, Effortlessness, Interconnectivity, Boundlessness, Home, Eternity, Transcendence, Transdimensional, Spirit, Symphony

Affirmation- I Am Union, I Am Grace, I Am That I Am, I Am One, I Am All, I Am Freedom, I Know

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Herez a perspective:

The Four Agreements- formulated by Don Miguel Ruiz, quoted by Gerry C. Starnes in “Spirit Paths: the Quest for Authenticity, A Shamanic Pathway to Healing and Changing your Life”.

Be Impeccable with your Word. Pay attention to what you are saying internally and externally.  Understand words have power. They Should be used sparingly and with respect for that power.  Our words act as an incredible supportive tool to our will. In the practice of magic, one focuses their energy and power to will on their intentions. Usually this is done with ritual, which sometimes contains the vocal articulation of what one wants to happen or what will happen, with their words. We cast spells with our words. We spell out our experience with the formation of words into sentences. Language has an incredible influence on shaping the dynamics of ones world. I am trying to learn how to use them wisely.

Do Not Take Anything Personally. When people speak or react, it is almost always coming from their own worldview and perception. What ever they said reflects more about where they are at then it does about you. Certainly reflect on another's words and observations, but if there is no truth behind their statement, let it go. Whether it a compliment or a comment you dislike, it is mainly reflecting their own lenses on reality, do not take it personally.

Don’t Make Assumptions. Ask questions!! Communicate! Get clear on what is actually going on with the other person. Who knows what they are going through. In my experience, this really goes with taking anything personally. For example, in the past, I have been so quick to make assumptions that some one is being evasive because of something that I did. Which, causes a ripple of emotion and storytelling in my mind, fabricating up possible explanations for the situation. But there is no way of telling what was actually going on with that person. I could have avoided the distress if I simply not made assumptions. What is it a friend said to me once..?.. Assume nothing, Expect everything.. ?

Always do your best. Just try to do your absolute best in each situation. And know that one’s best can change based on the current circumstances. Each person has the potential to be their own worst critic. No need to be perfect and constantly be judging one’s self. Simply do the best that you can in each moment.

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Look who came to visit me while I was blogging ☺️

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Some thought for food:

How wonderful would it be if the only hands that came between mine and the food on my plate, were the hands of my community members? How much fresher would it be if my food came directly from the Earth to my hands to my mouth? Food as Medicine, nourishing and potent. 

In the fall I hope to work with a food forest expert in Olympia Washington, hoping to learn more about how I can return nutrients to the soil and provide a self-sustaining urban food source. There is much to learn, and I intend to open myself to the teachings of the earth so that I may continue to deepen my relationship to all its inhabitants and cultivate a healthier lifestyle. I intend to continue elevating my awareness of  what is nourishing me and what is not, what I am putting into my body, where it comes from, and what energy was expelled so that my life may continue.  And, of course, I’m just trying to keep my hands in the earth as much as possible. 

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With at least a few of my belongings packed, and after having fully wrapped my head around the notion that the following day I will be leaving on over a months long journey to California, I started my last day in Olympia at the Sunday morning 5Rhythyms wave at Fusion. Sometimes referred to as ‘Dance Church’, this Sunday morning dance community offers a space to physically embody one’s prayers to the heavens, and converse with the divine. In my experience, Dancing in the morning light invites joyous and uplifting journeys, or thats usually how I am left feeling after sweating out the tensions and stresses of the past week.

This particular Sunday, the 31st of July, was not only the international Paddle to Nisqually gathering in Olympia, a gathering of thousands of indigenous peoples and their allies, but it was also the last day of the ‘Tribal Gathering’ at Fusion, a weekend long  dance workshop for the dancing communities in the Oly/Seattle/BC region. I only participated in the Sunday morning sweat, yet those two hours alone were incredibly potent. 

At a moment in the movement practice, the facilitator prompted us to think of, and feel into, the word ‘instinct’. Instinct. Insync. When I listen to my instinct, the physically sensing, intuitional way of perceiving and knowing, I begin to feel as though I am moving in sync. That I am acting in sync with my divine purpose. As if I am in sync with the natural unraveling of events in my life. Moving from Instinct allows me to be insync. As we were invited to move from instinct, I felt myself able to move in sync with the music and the natural rhythms of my body.

In the afterglow-flow, I floated to Traditions Cafe. Traditions is part cafe and part eclectic global goods store. With such a peaceful atmosphere in the store, I took my time wandering through, feeling different clothes, listening to singing bowls, smelling incense, taking my dear time to take it all in. I wandered up to a little bookshelf cart in the children's section. 

The first book that was facing out at me was a children's book on TAO and the teachings of Lao-tzu. Such a beautiful book, with incredible imagery, I know we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover, but the outside of this book really made me want to look in it. Flipping the pages, I found profound inspiration in its words and images. Here I am sharing two snapshots from the book. 

For me, dancing is always an act of self love. As well as an intimate process of getting to know myself, and allowing whatever wants to be expressed flow through my body. As ‘Know Yourself’ clearly states, ‘... to conquer yourself is strength... to be disconnected with yourself is to be poor. Keep the essence of Heaven inside yourself, and you will never die’. Although I wouldn’t use the word ‘conquer’ to describe my experience, I deeply resonate with this notion. Through dancing with myself, and getting to know myself, I feel my strength returning, and pooling. 

After I went home, I remembered that I possessed a copy of Allan Watts’ “What is Tao?”, given to me by a friend awhile back. After my findings at Traditions I thought this must be time to revisit the book. Watts’ words and explanation of taoist philosophy offered much insight and enrichment (even though apparently the tao cannot be explained in words) to the book I stumbled across at traditions. In the little story about Lao-tzu and how he found the way to heaven, he releases the notion of trying so hard, and like the leaf, allows himself to be like the leaf, and move with the wind. Watts’ describes one taoist notion that I think helps to expand this excerpt:

“You know how it is when you get in your own light of get in your own way - when it becomes desperately essential that you hurry to catch a train or a plane, for example, instead of your muscles being relaxed and ready to run, your anxiety about not getting there in time immediately stiffens you up and you start stumbling over everything... It is in this way of battering against life, as it were, that ties it up in knots. And so, the secret in Taoism is to get out of one’s own way, and to learn that this pushing ourselves, instead of making us more efficient, actually interferes with everything we set about to do” - Watts, What is Toa? , page 50. 

In the opening circle of our 21 day dance initiation, two people explicitly mentioned the notion of how dance allows them to get out of their own way! I feel one of the main intentions that brought me here is my intention to continue to heal myself, and learn ways to help facilitate healing in the world. I really like what Lao-tzu suggests here because I feel on the path of healing, one cannot force themself to heal. In my experience, dance invites me to release the stories and control of my mind, and allows me to practice flowing with the natural expression and unfoldings of my life, like Lao-Tzu in the wind. Which, by the way, is extremely healing.

As is sit here in the mountains, watching the leaves blowing in the wind, I see the reminders of Loa-tzu are with me. I am curious to see how else taoist teachings manifest in my time here. Praying that I am able to dance in non-duality, with a joyous heart and belly, and like a leaf in the wind, or a cat falling from a tree, I am able to get out of the way of myself, to release the notion to resist, follow my instincts, and move in sync with the opening of my being.

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5 rythms dance at Kew Gardens - observation drawing

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These drawings beautifully encapsulate the fluid motion of a 5rythms wave. May these beautiful works of art kick start the creativity and expression flow through my blog!