through fire and flames

the crows made me do it (pfp by @n0phis)

[antarctic-malewife]

hi mates

this is a c!phil ask & rp blog run by @bunfloras!

it’s the companion blog to:

c!techno — @antarctic-anarchist — run by @accursed-worm

c!ranboo — @enderchestappreciation — run by @the-blaze-empress

c!ghostbur — @cornflower-friend — run by @venetapsi

c!niki — @breadandsugar — run by @thekaycat

c!quackity — @black-tie-beanie — run by @accursed-worm

c!tommy — @pog-wife-haver — run by @novaliae

this blog will depict both canon events of the dream smp, starting at the pre-execution retirement arc, as well as silly little fanon bits, too. it will be run as though c!phil himself has a blog, rather than a 3rd-person rp style or anything like that.

asks are submitted via crow mail! feel free to interact as much or as little as you want, whether it be with questions, media, or general crow-brain thoughts. please refrain from sending shipping questions unless they’re about c!kristin!

the main tags are as follows:

#crow mail — asks

#from the birdbrain — original posts

#ear check — ooc shit

#friendship bracelets — techno character tag

#weird kid next door — ranboo character tag

#not my son — tommy character tag

#giving me grey hairs — wilbur character tag

#(un)living reminder — ghostbur character tag

p.s. — please contact my main at @bunfloras if you want to make another character blog for this project! some characters are already spoken for, and i’ll probably be selective with how many accounts are considered “canon” to this one.

[enderchestappreciation]

So did you get Tubbo to go on a picnic?

yeah we did!! we went yesterday, he was at phils and i came and found him and we went to the apiary because i know tubbo likes bees. it was really nice! i forgot to write it down though because ive lost my memory book. i really hope no one finds it and reads it because if they do theyll find out everything and i dont want that theyll know everything about me and everything ive done and everyone ive betrayed. no one will have read it. its only been a day right? its only been a day since tubbo was at phils and we went on a picnic no one will have read it its okay im okay they wont know they cant know

[antarctic-malewife]

Mate that was days ago

[antarctic-malewife]

The basement’s coming along well enough so far. Can’t seem to get any fuckin peace and quiet, though

[antarctic-malewife]

Well shit.

Guess they caught on to the fact that I could uh. Take off the monitor. Fuck. The new one has Curse of Binding.

The only way out is to break it.

[antarctic-malewife]

Tubbos at my fucking door again what the hell does he want

[cornflower-friend]

Hi Phil! Tubbo said we had to see you for “very important reasons”.

(...I think he’s bored)

[antarctic-malewife]

…Right. Nothing suspicious about that, cmon in

Don’t mind the armor stand. And what’s with the weird helmet?

[cornflower-friend]

Oh. So Phil I just put it on to show you, but-

Phil I can’t get it off. I think the helmet is stuck. Phil? Tubbo, my helmet is stuck. What do you mean “Phil’s helmet?” No, it’s definitely mine now, because it’s on my head.

Phil I can’t get the helmet off :((

[antarctic-malewife]

Oh my fucking god

Oh fuck my face hurts from laughing

They made a new enchanted helmet and now Tubbo’s got it stuck on his head. This is fucking priceless, I’m holding it against him forever

[cornflower-friend]

At least you have shiny boots, Phil. We can match now, you know. If I just lean down and put my head by your feet. Or do a handstand.

I can’t do a handstand. Can you teach me?

[antarctic-malewife]

Yeah. Real classy. Big fan of the way the new ones don’t fucking come off.

And no, I cant do a handstand. Bit hard with wings

[antarctic-malewife]

Tubbos at my fucking door again what the hell does he want

[cornflower-friend]

Hi Phil! Tubbo said we had to see you for “very important reasons”.

(...I think he’s bored)

[antarctic-malewife]

…Right. Nothing suspicious about that, cmon in

Don’t mind the armor stand. And what’s with the weird helmet?

[cornflower-friend]

Oh. So Phil I just put it on to show you, but-

Phil I can’t get it off. I think the helmet is stuck. Phil? Tubbo, my helmet is stuck. What do you mean “Phil’s helmet?” No, it’s definitely mine now, because it’s on my head.

Phil I can’t get the helmet off :((

[antarctic-malewife]

Oh my fucking god

Oh fuck my face hurts from laughing

They made a new enchanted helmet and now Tubbo’s got it stuck on his head. This is fucking priceless, I’m holding it against him forever

[antarctic-malewife]

Tubbos at my fucking door again what the hell does he want

[cornflower-friend]

Hi Phil! Tubbo said we had to see you for “very important reasons”.

(...I think he’s bored)

[antarctic-malewife]

…Right. Nothing suspicious about that, cmon in

Don’t mind the armor stand. And what’s with the weird helmet?

[antarctic-malewife]

Tubbos at my fucking door again what the hell does he want

[antarctic-malewife]

do you think you could make a redstone contraption (or the blueprints atleast) to make you still able to fly while your wing heals?

Even redstone can’t work miracles.

[antarctic-malewife]

Give up you’re no help to anyone.

Right. You fuckers know you can just fly away, right? Go on, fuck off. If youre gonna be shitheads while Im trapped in my own house, I’m not giving you any more crumbs

[antarctic-malewife]

Yeah we’re not saying that you aren’t scary, but maybe you need someone to take care of you? That Ranboo kid seems nice?

Im not some feeble old man in need of being taken care of. I’m fine, so go worry about Techno or something

Besides, Im pretty sure Ranboo would get in trouble for trying to help me

[antarctic-malewife]

Hidden sword? you can barely walk.

Fuck off.

[antarctic-malewife]

Dadza, before you said that you couldn’t bear to preen your wings, but they’re really starting to look like they need it. If you still can’t do it, maybe Techno can? You’ve already taken the ankle monitor. You know where he lives.

Also, I think his company would do you some good, too.

We’re worried about you, Phil.

It’s a day’s journey at least. The Butcher Army lives right outside my door, and everyone’s fuckin on edge. If they catch me leaving, who’s to say they wont execute me next? Wouldnt put it past em

I cant just fly away. I can’t outpace them. Not anymore. I walk with a damn cane these days, theyd catch me and who knows what they’d do

[antarctic-malewife]

You can't go out into the weather like that, not win injured wings, you need someone to help you take care of your wings!

I was alone for centuries before Techno and Wil. I can take care of em myself

[antarctic-malewife]

Wait, what are you planning? It's not dangerous, is it?

Relax.

I’m just working on my basement. Just sick of those fuckers chaining me up, so I took the liberty of freeing myself. Feels nice to have that stupid thing off for a change

[antarctic-malewife]

if you are leaving philza, say goodbye to Niki- she is trying to heal, and you might be able to help her on her journey

Im not going anywhere yet. Gotta make sure theyre not gonna try anything funny again

Besides, gonna be hard to outrun that lot with an arrow wound and busted wings

[antarctic-malewife]

I’m not wearing it anymore. Fuck em.

They wont know the difference between me and an armor stand anyway