Man sometimes I think we forget just how psychologically damaging Afghanistan was for Tony. Like my professor was talking today about old anesthesia techniques and how there were a bunch of cases in the 30s, 40s, and 50s of surgeries where people were awake and could feel everything during the surgery. āThatās horrifically traumatizing,ā he said, āto feel someone cutting into your body, moving internal organs around, and not being able to do anything about it. People came out of surgery with sometimes debilitating trauma.ā
And Tony!! Woke up!! While Yinsenās hand was literally inside his chest!!
But that barely registers in the grand scheme of his horror because hey, whatās waking up during surgery compared to watching young soldiers get shot in front of him and knowing itās his fault? Whatās that compared with living three months in constant pain and terror as a captive of his worst enemies, knowing that he could be killed at any moment, and heās not even sure if anyone would be looking for his body? Whatās that compared to literal torture, simulated drowning over and over again while clutching the car battery thatās keeping him alive because if a wire falls into the water he could be electrocuted? Whatās that compared to the knowledge that his negligence has led to the slaughter of hundreds, if not thousands, of innocent people?
And then he gets home from all of that, and remember heās really just a normal citizen and has never been taught how to deal with such hugely traumatic events, to be betrayed and left today by the man he considered a father. ONCE AGAIN HE WAS STUCK IN HIS OWN BODY, UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING AS HE DIED.
I mean, fuck! What the fuck!! How do you just recover from that???
Then, then, he is slowly poisoned to death by his own creation, then heās sent to confront the void of space and his own insignificance, then he has to watch the woman he loves get tortured, then heās forced to imagine everyone he loves and cares about dead or dying and believes itās his fault, I mean Jesus Christ! Iām probably forgetting some stuff!! He never gets a fucking break!!
Tony Stark is bouncing from one traumatic experience from another like the worldās worst pinball machine!! No fucking wonder heās suffering from debilitating PTSD, from depression and grief and self-loathing, from completely untreated mental illness. He is just trying to keep the people he loves safe, that is his number one goal at all times, always, and instead of recognizing his symptoms for what they are and trying to help him in return, his āfriendsā simultaneously take advantage of his generosity and hate on and criticize him for what are, quite frankly, quite understandable reactions to the honestly ridiculous amount of horrible things heās lived through in just a few short years.
Iām sorry I lost my train of thought, itās very late and Iām very passionate, but basically what Iām trying to say is: give Tony Stark a break for fuckās sake!! He is ill and suffering and he is just trying his best goddamn it!! Fuck!!!!
