Trucking One Fic At A Time

[senso1954]

this tiktok screenshot ruined my life i need to see the serbian pigeon movie so so badly but it doesn't exist it's so foul to make this bad of a point with something so cool and then take it away from me.

[deseretgear]

Tiktok marvel fans really will be out here like "movie fan SHOCKED because i'd rather watch superhero movie #54 in blue and not a sensual 1987 french horror film about a man discovering his wife may not exist set in what is gradually revealed to be a space station" as if you're supposed to agree that superhero movie #54 is the clear winner in this comparison

[kirbymongerr]

Love the idea of a story about a complex issue that's told from the perspective of something that cannot comprehend or care about the issue. The way the story would be sliced up and moments that a human would consider pointless would be focused on because the pigeon happened to be there would be hype as fuck

[beardedmrbean]

[silken-scarves]

Ok FINE I made the movie poster of it

Mališa, otherwise known as Little One, is a pet pigeon owned by a conservative butler of the Austro-Hungarian aristocracy. She is loved, and she is pampered— until her owner is murdered in cold blood, and she is left to fend for herself in Sarajevo.

In the wilds of the city, she feeds from the poor, working nationalist radicals, and the vieux riches alike.

To Mališa, there are no ethical concerns. No politics. No burgeoning nationalism.

There are only hands that feed her, and hands that do not.

[headspace-hotel]

This is compelling. Consider me fucking compelled.

[anarchautistic]

Final shot is the bird hearing, but not seeing, the sound of a .32 ACP pistol, and flying away in shock

[lilmaneater]

"From the studio that brought you Goncharov...."

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

”there are only the hands that feed her, and those that do not” yeah-

[headcanonthings]

Harley: Would you still love me if I was the only girl in the world? Ivy: If you were the only girl in the world, I’d be dead.

[antina2000]

Happy valentine's day 💕💕💕💕

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[charlesoberonn]

Don't open a PM with a stranger with "hello".

1. You sound like a bot

2. You don't give anything to respond to

Try to say something nice and ask questions that the other person can respond to.

[charlesoberonn]

I was talking about tumblr but I suppose it also applies to this

[charlesoberonn]

Remember Inigo Montoya

[lastvalyrian]

Name: We are the Borg.

Polite Greeting: You will be assimilated.

Relevant personal link: Your biological and technological characteristics will be added to our own.

Manage expectations: Resistance is futile.

[errantindy]

1. Polite Greeting:

2. Name: I’m Luke Skywalker

3. Personal Relevant Link:

4. Manage Expectations: I’m here to rescue you.

You can see Luke makes a hash of this greeting, and the Princess is hesitant to do anything until he supplies their personal relevant link: that he’s here with Ben Kenobi.

[charlesoberonn]

He improves greatly in the later movies

Polite Greeting: "Greetings, Exalted One."

Name + Relevant Personal Link: "I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi knight and friend to captain Solo."

Manage Expectations: "I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo's life."

[un-monstre]

Hate it when TikTok farm cosplayers and cottagecore types say stuff like "I'm not going to use modern equipment because my grandmothers could make do without it." Ma'am, your great grandma had eleven children. She would have killed for a slow cooker and a stick blender.

[un-monstre]

I’ve noticed a sort of implicit belief that people used to do things the hard way in the past because they were tougher or something. In reality, labor-saving devices have historically been adopted by the populace as soon as they were economically feasible. No one stood in front of a smoky fire or a boiling pot of lye soap for hours because they were virtuous, they did it because it was the only way to survive.

[jimmythejiver]

Taking these screenshots from Facebook because they make you log in and won't let you copy and paste:

[thesummoningdark]

In large parts of the world, this is still the case. If there's room for it in your budget and you're looking to give some money to a good cause, I highly recommend The Washing Machine Project

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

lying in front of the street cleaner

[nic0las-uncaged]

did the street cleaner believe you?

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

it is like talking to a fucking genie with you people

[robs-your-robins]

You know what was probably hilarious? The 180 that Bruce Wayne does when he adopts Dick - at least through the eyes of socialites and gala attendees. They are probably so used to Bruce Wayne being a drunken mess or doing something reckless and scandalous or being a flirt but then he appears after a hiatus after adopting a kid, who as attended as his plus one rather than some model or actress and...

Waiter #1: Did... Did Bruce Wayne seriously just ask whether that orange juice was organic?

Waiter #2: I mean, yeah, it's a genuine question

Waiter #1: But Bruce Wayne? The guy asked you last year whether ‘gluten’ was a type of new drug?

Waiter #2: Yup.

Politician: Is Bruce Wayne seriously cutting up that child's steak for him?

Socialite: I honestly didn't think he knew how to use cutlery. Remember last year when he stuffed that mini quiche into his mouth in one go? Those Prada models had to give him the Heimlich?

Dick: Bruce why is everyone staring? Did I do something wrong?

Bruce: No buddy, I just ordered a Coke and they're a little surprised.

Dick: Oh, are you not allowed Coke? That's OK, my mom never let me have soda after dinner either. I won't tell Alfred, I promise.

Bruce: Thanks, chum.

Waiter: Um, sorry Mr Wayne but the bartender wanted me to make sure that-

Bruce: Just a regular Coke with ice, please.

Waiter:

Bruce: I will still take it with a little umbrella.

Waiter: Oh thank god.

[i-steal-bones]

[robs-your-robins]

Thinking more about the rumour if how Bruce Wayne acquired his two eldest boys because they both are carbon copies of him and everybody at first thinks that Bruce fathered them with the same woman on the side but for some reason didn't marry her or couldn't for some reason but then...

Then Superman flies into Gotham to rescue Bruce and the kids. And everybody is like, "wait a damn minute" because while Dick and Jason are copies of Bruce, they do sort of look like... And Superman is very intimate with them, hugging Dick and crouching down to talk to twelve year old Jason who looks a little wary and then there's Bruce. There's Bruce, who is smiling, not that ghastly social smile or that flirty smile but something real, and he looks so comfortable around Supes and... Did Superman just brush something off Bruce's Wayne face? Immediately rumours start spreading and Gotham has a new reason to loathe Big Blue from Metropolis:

Superman: Don't be afraid, just take my hand and we will get you somewhere safe.

Gothamite, clinging to a lamppost: How about fuck no?

Superman: um, excuse me, sir?

Gothamite: You think I'm letting you fly me out of here? Taking me off to god knows where? So you can what?

Superman: Save you?

Gothamite: Oh, like you "saved" Bruce Wayne? Got him pregnant with two babies you don't pay child support for or even visit? They're beautiful boys but I'm not having no alien baby key alone with some deadbeat baby daddy.

Superman:

Batman, deadpan: I'm mean he's right, Superman. You did me wrong like you did Bruce Wayne. Two babies and no daddy.

Gothamite, angrier now: YOU KNOCKED UP THE BAT TOO?

Batman: He won't even visit us any more. Nightwing and Robin miss him so much.

Superman:

Nightwing, holding Jason Todd, both looking like puppies in the rain: Daddy?

[nigaki]

Oh my god. The way Bruce, Dick and Jason just rolled with it kills me!

[mantareidraws]

Sharing is caring, even when your dad's a billionaire

[stillnotsquashed]

Bruce insulting Batman in interviews is an amazing concept because he will not insult his kids. Like he is saying that Batman is dumb and not even a real Bat but if those little boys want to be birds they should live their dreams and they are the greatest thing to come out of Gotham in centuries. It gets so bad that interviewers ask the former Robins why Bruce hates Batman but loves Robin and all the kids develope telepathy for just a moment and declare its because Bruce lost custody of them in his divorce from Batman.

[antina2000]

I like the idea of dentist going to Gotham cause thats where the most buisness is.

But like realistically??? Capitalism will ruin it and the insurance for dental work is probably ass expensive and since im against Capitalism (just as a vibe), im gonna go with the NEXT horrible thing.

Gotham is where new dentist, students, interns go to get experience. Like how i was told to work at a VA hospital/clinic if I want more experience with sticking people

[lizmidfordsblog]

The fact that we can't trust anything that comes out of Cale's mouth. He's such an unreliable narrator I can't even believe it if he says that the color of his shirt is red. For all i know it's white but it's covered in his blood. Dude will just straight up update his narratives like Microsoft Windows.

Literally can't trust shit that comes out of this guy's mouth unless I've got third parties (frequently in the form of poor Raon, Choi Han and Alberu's reactions) confirming it.

Cale would be like: Yeah, my shirt is red. Choi Han, to the side, nearly in tears: With blood, it's red with blood.

Or

Cale: I'm not bleeding, what are you talking about? Alberu: You're literally bruised, you have internal bleeding! Cale: Yeah, well, that's where the blood is supposed to be, no?

[oleander-teacup]

and with your help it can rack up 700k notes on tumblr in 2024

no tumblr this doesnt need tags im releasing it into the wild as god intended

[dyinggirldied]

The beauty of these two 😍

This is not a ship btw. They give me sibling code

[what-even-is-thiss]

You know the Grimm version of Snow White makes more sense than most versions if only because in that version Snow White was like 7 years old.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Like imagine you find a 7 year old in the woods and she’s like my mom is gonna kill me because I’m prettier than her and she’s not kidding. You know this queen is that sort of person. So you and your roommates adopt the kid and tell her don’t talk to strangers. And she keeps talking to strangers and getting poison combs stuck in her hair and whatnot.

Like yeah that’s kinda stupid but also she’s seven. She likes apples.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Also imagine it from the hunter’s perspective. The queen tells you this bitch is prettier than me I need you to take her out in the woods and kill her. And then you see who you’re supposed to kill and it’s a 2nd grader. Like how are you supposed to react to that sort of situation? Kill a human child? No. Because you’re not a brainless evil minion you’re just some guy dealing with a cartoonishly evil monarch. Of course you let her go.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Bad look for the Prince of course. Even if she did age while she was in that glass case. He saw a dead woman and just decided to keep her. And once she stopped being dead he was like we’re married now

He did cause the evil queen to dance to death in red hot shoes though. That was kinda cool.

[thedupshadove]

With the acknowledgement that I'm grasping at straws, is it ever directly confirmed that the Prince wasn't also 7?

[thedupshadove]

See, I think that still works.

You are the guardsman assigned to protect the eight-year-old Prince. You are currently in the middle of the forest because he absolutely had his heart set on "going hunting", and the royal second-grader should definitely not be traipsing around the woods on his own. You let him go a little on ahead and he comes running back talking about how there's a dead girl in the clearing and there's no-one else around and he wants to take her home because she's really pretty, Hans, and she's all alone!

You let him drag you to said clearing and okay, that is one angelic-looking dead child alright, and on the one hand the quality of her clothes and the craftsmanship on the coffin (who builds a see-through coffin?) speak to potential Consequences if you simply carry her off, but also for the amount of vines that have grown on the coffin she looks extraordinarily un-decayed, so you should probably get the court alchemist's opinion on that, and there's no way he's going to come all the way out here in his embroidered velvet curly-shoes. And also this kid is technically assigned by God as your natural superior, or something.

So fine. You hoist the coffin onto your shoulder (it's not like the Prince can do it. He's eight.) and head back toward the castle, Prince chattering blithely all the way. And then you turn your ankle on a rock and suddenly there's a thump and a cough and a lot of shouting from inside the coffin and you have now become a key player in a tense political incident with the next kingdom over.

You should probably ask for a raise.

[bitchesgetriches]

We are in favor of just about any fairy tale ending with "you should probably ask for a raise."

[bayasdulce]

“but seeing it makes me uncomfortable” GOOD. the mass murder of thousands of people should make you uncomfortable. genocide should make you uncomfortable. you don’t think the people laying under the rubble of their destroyed homes and communities are uncomfortable? you don’t think the people who are walking miles to find any sort of safety only to get bombed and/or shot to death are uncomfortable? you don’t think the people in burning hospitals are uncomfortable? you don’t think the people being deafened by bombs and air strikes are uncomfortable?

[mikkeneko]

[mikkeneko]

This is being reposted, for the advent of American Thanksgiving, on November 17th, 2023. American Thanksgiving this year is on November 23rd.

If you are seeing this after November 21st 2023 do NOT come crying to me about it being too late. That ain’t my fault. I Do Not Control The Rate At Which Turkey Thaws