Thanks, I hate it!

32/she/her cis woman who hates porn. personal musings, porn education, and addiction recovery can be found here. I support trans rights, gay rights, human rights, and I am anti-trafficking, anti-porn, kink-critical, childfree, pro-choice, anti-forced birth, and a lover of alcohol.

[antipornprotrans]

Hi everyone. It's been a while.

I'd firstly like to state that a lot of very not good things happened to me just after I stopped posting here. And, well, before I stopped.

Regretfully, my previous relationship turned out to be pretty abusive, and I'm not too keen on divulging the details of what happened to me as a result of the woman I have spoken of so much here on this blog, but there is one lesson that I had to learn very bitterly for the 3rd or 4th time of my life when it comes to pornography, sex addiction, and mental illness as a whole. Not to worry, she's certainly an ex now, and that chapter of my life is over and done with.

Because of the abuse, I was genuinely embarrassed and ashamed of myself for being in that situation again, so i couldn't bring myself to continue posting here. My mental health did get far worse, bit my situation is different now, and I'm on the mend.

Thank you for your continued support, however - It does make me smile when I see that my posts are still being liked and reblogged. Its possible I will start posting again.

xoxo

[antipornprotrans]

Stupid thing I saw earlier: some person on Reddit trying to defend a sick mind's right to be turned on by the emaciated body of eug*en*i*a c**ney. I didn't think to ss but come on folks it's almost 2022, why are people still defending being turned on by that type of shit? Like genuinely, how could you possibly find that type of "kink" to be okay?? Fucking hell 🤡

[kiefbowl]

when people are porn sick they literally think sex is just like...play acting out kinks. that is what sex is. if you are "anti-kink" you are a sexless prude. anything that happens in the bedroom IS kink in their eyes. sex is broken down into micro actions, each performative and each a kink. do you have an intercourse kink? do you have a kiss on the mouth kink? do you like to do it standing up kink? can the lights be on kink? like shut the FUCK up and be normal for once

[anti-porn-unicorn]

Or a “Breeding kink” congrats thats normal sex. Imagine being so sexually unsatisfied that you have to make normal sex into a kink just to feel something

[antipornprotrans]

God forbid you consider love and intimacy, maybe even praise, from your partner during sex as normal behavior instead of a kink!!

I may be intoxicated but next time someone tells me it's a kink to want praise and love from your partner during sex, I'm going to break into their house in the middle of the night and make a mess of their pots and pans.

IT IS NOT A KINK TO WANT LOVE FROM YOUR PARTNER WHEN YOU HAVE SEX. Especially if you love that person and they love you. Outside of a hookup, that's literally what should be happening. Love each other. Appreciate each other. Get wild and dress up for it and put on mood lighting and music--or even-- dare I say it-- tell each other you love each other while you're going at it. Scandelous!!!!

SMH not every little thing has to be a kink.

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[iveofficiallygonemad]

Transcript:

Women being shamed for having body hair is a wild ass concept. We can’t even say its a Personal Preference at this point. It is a Certain expectation that women be smooth in the arm, bare in the leg, and bald in the coochie. To the point where we are Shamed if we are not. And then when we show signs of hair removal, like the dark pubic area, razor bump, ingrown hairs, we’re shamed for that too. And I know that there will be women in my comments saying that I'm Wrong because body hair is “unhygienic” but if hair removal products disappeared tomorrow then I'm sure y’all would figure out how to wash your ass just as effectively. And why is hair only dirty for women? No one bats an eye when men have bundles and a closure under their arms. And I know women have different reasons for hair removal—this is not a debate about whether it’s right or wrong. But the expectation that we remove our hair is largely based on sexist, predatory, and even racist ideology. I’m just sayin’.

[heavensblood]

one huge part left out is it’s a facet of capitalism. women didn’t start shaving out of nowhere! it was to push a product to & then gender norms & racism became entangled into the mix. then came the shaming, the misogyny, the racist tropes. businesses prey on insecurities & try to convince it’s unnatural or “not feminine”. as if growing body hair isn’t the most natural thing for all human beings to do. we are all people, we all have have body hair. media has sanitized what the average person looks like, is sized like: in ads, in tv/movies & most problematically porn to create unrealistic ideals of what “real” women & men look like. they’re just trying to push products. the same goes for diet culture & cosmetic procedures. profiting off of insecurities to reinforce whatever is the current body trend creating and endless cycle of insecurities we pass along to one another through media, image, peer pressure or word of mouth.

[antipornprotrans]

>I don't understand why you don't feel gross >role-playing a sexualized parent-child >relationship? And how is a DD pretending >like he's fucking his child like... not an issue >for you?

And no, this person did not get an answer to this question beyond "it's consensual" 😑

[antiporn-activist]

If we criticize your use of rape pornography, don’t tell us the women consented to be in the rape pornography. That’s irrelevant. That’s a distraction. The real problem here is that you find watching a rape exciting.

[antipornprotrans]

i get a little frustrated about how people act like pornography is empowering to trans people. like, how did people reach that idea? just because a trans sex worker got some sites to use the word "trans" rather than "sh*m*l*"? like seriously, men try to reenact that stuff, especially the hardcore stuff, sometimes on trans people, and anytime someone talks about experiences with pulling hair, slapping, or gagging, i get flashbacks. how can we get our allies to start considering the fact that pornography hurts trans people too? that it hurts everyone, especially women

Not to mention the fetishization of transgender people, especially women. It's sad. My gf definitely has some negative feelings on the whole thing. She has been personally harassed and "chased" by people who consume that type of porn, and had partners just assume she wanted them to hurt her during sex just because she's trans. I have also read a lot of posts from transgender men, women, and nonbinary pals that discuss being chased and fetishized, reducing them down to nothing more than a sexual object, as if their gender identity was somehow a sexual thing. It's gross.

As for where people get the idea that porn is empowering to transgender people, I have an inkling. Maybe it's the inherent desire that some people have to show off their body when they're happier with it. People who lose a lot of weight and get fit do it, or people who were in shape but then worked hard to get ripped. Trans people sometimes do the same thing once they've been on hormones for a while or feel particularly affirmed in their identity. I get that, it's thrilling to see your body changing in ways that makes you more comfortable in your skin, so you want to take photos of yourself and show off. I've done it too! I also help my girlfriend take photos and even measure herself so she can track her progress as she transitions and loses weight at the same time. Naturally, for some people, this process is sometimes going to include spicy photos or videos because they feel sexy and happy with their bodies in that moment and want to express that. Sure, whatever. I don't really have anything else to say about it that isn't sentimental or anecdotal but, like anything porn related, it went off the rails and now people use slurs against trans people in a sexual context and they get fetishized and used for their body, and violated in ways that I'd rather not mention at the moment.

There is nothing empowering about giving pornsick minds exactly what they want. ✌

[antipornprotrans]

My asks are back on, but I'm keeping anon off. Like I mentioned before this is because I'm getting a ton of hate mail (all from T*erfs) and I do find it all very funny, but I can already see that pattern taking a toll on my already precarious mental health. If you do want something private, talk to me in DMs or just let me know in an ask and I'll DM you a response

[antipornprotrans]

"Do the people of this group watch porn?" Actually good takes from Facebook of all places

Most of the commentary here is from women, but there's a few from men too.

[antipornprotrans]

Let me emphasize that:

"Utterly obedient to the patriarchal system and they are completely blind to it"

[antipornprotrans]

I think anon hate is really interesting, because what have I really done to the T*RFs other than like, exist on the internet? The really fun part is that they never really attack me. I never get pornsick people, only swarms of T*RFs, and they always want to attack my girlfriend for like, existing. What do they think is going to happen, that my girlfriend will suddenly not be trans anymore if they anonymously point out to me that she used to watch porn? Or do they think they know her better than I do, and that if they so helpfully tell me that information, I'll suddenly not wanna be with her or support her? It's the funniest thing. Imagine hating women so much that you'd attack another one for overcoming an actual addiction and freely living her life without restraint🤪

Anyway, I'm turning off anon asks for the time being-- I get a lot of it, more than expected tbh, and while it's funny, I do have several mental illnesses and self-esteem/self-image/anxiety issues and don't need that negativity in my life right now. I'm sorry to everyone who prefers to stay on anon.

(To clarify, asks are off until I get on my computer later today, I can't figure out how to turn off anon from mobile since tumblr app is butts)

[antipornprotrans]

Hi, a little while ago I sent you an ask about being a sub and thinking I might be using it as self harm, and you gave a really good insightful response. It’s hard to find a lot of anti kink opinions that aren’t coming from transphobes and that has made it a lot harder to form my own opinion on the subject (I’m a trans man and I feel a lot of anti porn stuff frames me as a woman which obviously makes me super uncomfortable.) Thank you for being here and sharing these thoughts. Im still not sure I agree but I’m definitely doing a lot of introspection.

Oh hey, thanks for reaching back out! I completely understand what you mean, my girlfriend faces the same problem when it comes to her harmful kinks and the info coming from transphobes. I'll ask her if it's okay for me to talk more about her experience out of that hole and into sexual ideals that are healthier for her mentally, if anyone is interested in reading about that.

It's totally okay not to agree with me -- I'm just some lady on the internet after all. I have been in contact with a lot of transmen who are in the same situation as you, honestly. I think its a different mindset than that of a cis man or that of a woman, because you also have the whole trans factor thrown in there. I'm willing to do some research on the subject and see what I can find that might help you further. You're always welcome to come into my DMs too, if you'd prefer more privacy.

If any of the other trans-friendly antikink blogs wanna weigh in too, that would be cool!

[antipornprotrans]

This is extremely interesting to me and not an idea that I really thought of before. Im not very coherent right now but I'll try to add to this.

Think about it-- how, exactly, does possessing female bits on your body and doing something as normal as, for example, giving oral to a sexual partner make you a slut? God forbid you ENJOY IT. I literally cannot figure it out for the life of me. I've been called that before because I like to go down on my girlfriend. Lots. I've packed my things, got a house and moved in between her legs, then renovated my kitchen-- im there to stay. Am I a slut, because I love sexual activity with my sexual partner, while we both possess lady parts? Of course not. Is she? Absolutely not. Is any woman a slut purely because she enjoys some kind of harmless sexual activity? No. Is she a slut because maybe she does it often with several people? Still no!!

The point of these porny titles is to reduce the women in the videos down to nothing, just a slut, nothing more. Not a woman with needs or thoughts, no hobbies outside of sex. Nothing. It absolutely makes it easier for pornsick minds to separate the human woman from the concept of "slut" and then treat her less than the person she is. It's dehumanizing and insulting.

Women deserve the same sexual freedom and respect that the average man does. We do not deserve to be called sluts and dehumanized for liking certain sexual activities or how often we do those activities and with whatever partners we may have. The only reason men aren't shit on for these things is sexism, there's no way around it.

[antipornprotrans]

"Porn is so empowering to women!"

[antipornprotrans]

I know I went silent again, I'm sorry.

I have a reason, and I'm mobile and it won't let me make a read more. So be careful scrolling! TW death, abuse

My dad passed away. Don't be too sad for me, now. He was not a good person. I spent my teenage years being emotionally terrorized by the man and subject to his racist, sexist, homo+transphobic teachings and rants. I spent my entire life being gaslight and abused, screamed at, taken advantage of mentally and emotionally, and all that nonsense. He was a narcissistic man, and we suspect he had oppositional defiant disorder as well. His favorite tactic was to do anything he could to buy someone's love, or in my case, paper-thin tolerance, and hold that over their head for as long as he could milk it for. He treated family so incredibly badly, but everyone else loved him. He was really good at making people think he wasn't a total POS.

I was put in charge of going through his phones, email, and various accounts as well as his Facebook page. This has been really hard for me, especially seeing what was in his fucking search history (🤮), but so freeing, and all I can think of is Free Churro.

"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now." Because now I know I will never have a mother who looks at me from across a room and says, "BoJack Horseman, I see you." But I guess it's good to know. It's good to know that there is nobody looking out for me, that there never was, and there never will be."

I finally fully understand what it means.

[antipornprotrans]

But like why are people so offended if you suggest that they use their imagination mind palace for healthy fantasies instead of watching a video of woman be blatantly exploited, demeaned, abused, and possibly r@p3d (via coercion, drugs, etc?) How many abused women is too many

[antipornprotrans]

FINALLY an anti porn blog that’s clear they’re pro trans . i’m sick of following anti porn blogs onlt to find out they’re terfy

Hahaha thanks, I feel the same way