Alright, Good Omens Fic Idea - SPOILERS -
Because Apparently I’m Still Hyperfixated - SPOILERS -
*I was halfway done this post and accepted deleted the draft- please share in my pain I’m so upset I have to rewrite all this ;-;*
Aziraphale’s up in heaven. It’s been maybe a few weeks since the S2 finale, and things are just about ready for the Second Coming.
Using the small amount of input he could give as the Supreme Archangel, our boy pointed out the moral quandaries of impregnating a teenager without giving them a say in the matter, and so heaven’s taking a page out of Hell’s book and just creating the baby themselves to be sent down to Earth (and just adopted regularly, none of that baby-swapping wickedness).
Aziraphale knows every moment of this child’s life off by heart; he’s read the plans dozens of times, you see. The second Christ will meet an end very similar to that of their first incarnation, though even sooner. A legal murder, though one that feels like it shouldn’t be.
He’s tried to find a way around it, pitched dozens of alternatives to killing the child, but has now realized that even as Supreme Archangel, his power is extremely limited.
So, he calls up the one angel that he feels is best for the job he needs done, and their conversation goes as such:
Aziraphale: Do you trust me?
Aziraphale: Good, take this baby and this letter to this address, and then stay inside because heaven will definitely deem you a traitor for this, but don’t worry I have a plan.
And so, Muriel takes the new baby Christ down to Earth, and straight to Crowley’s flat.
Dude obviously asks wtf is going on when the sweet little angel who’d taken over his angel’s bookshop showed up at his door with a baby, and Muriel hands him the letter, which consists of just three sentences:
I’m sorry. Keep them both safe, please. From everyone.
Crowley groans, long and loud, but hurries Muriel and the baby inside; there are three things Crowley has a soft spot for, and those are his car, his angel, and kids. He may have been furious with the second one at the moment, but that wasn’t any of the others’ faults (and yes, he was aware that Muriel wasn’t too much younger than himself, but darn it they acted like a kid sometimes and it was endearing, dammit!)
He asks Muriel to further explain what’s happening, as the note was no help, but all they can tell him is who the baby is.
Crowley glances at the baby boy in the basket and gets a horrible sense of deja vu.
Why are the occult/ethereal babies always his problem to deal with?
Time Skip- 11 Years Later
Aziraphale hesitates outside the door of Crowley’s flat, but does eventually end up knocking.
He hears his old friend calling something about “Maggie, this is a bad time-” as he answers the door, but when he sees who was knocking he stops dead.
Aziraphale gives an awkward hello, and Crowley sighs, inviting him in. Their conversation goes as such:
Crowley: It can’t be time already.
Aziraphale: It’s not! Not yet, anyway, and hopefully the time will never come, I just… wanted to check in.
Crowley: Right. Check in.
Aziraphale: Yes, so where is he?
Before Crowley can answer, they both hear the door to the flat open and shut. “Dad? I’m back!”
Crowley sighs, almost looking reluctant to reply as he can feel the angel staring at him in surprise, but he does anyway: “In the kitchen!”
A moment later, a young girl appears in the kitchen as well, clutching a book in her hands that Aziraphale recognizes as one of his.
The girl eyes him almost warily, but Crowley grabs her attention. “‘S that another book?”
The girl nods sheepishly. “Aunty Muriel thought I’d like this one.”
“You say that every time,” He almost chuckles, before waving her off. “Off you pop, get started on it, we’re eating out with Maggie and Nina tonight.”
The girl seems to immediately perk up at that and, giving Aziraphale one more searching stare, turns and leaves the kitchen, heading off to start reading her book.
Crowley now acknowledges Aziraphale’s shock:
Crowley: What, being a girl not a part of your side’s plans for her?
Aziraphale: Oh no, they were, it was just supposed to be in a few more years.
Crowley: *shrugs* You said protect her from everyone, that includes herself. Why do you look so shocked, then?
Aziraphale: She called you “Dad”. And “Aunty Muriel”?
Crowley: Give me a baby and a disgraced angel and no instructions beyond “protect them”, what were you expecting?
Aziraphale cannot answer this.
So, yeah, that’s the entire narrative I have, beyond a realization later on that when Jay (the name Christ picked for herself at the age of seven) was little, her Dad told her stories about the adventures he and “his angel” had been on, and Jay’s realization that the stranger in their kitchen was her Dad’s angel.
Idk, I just find it cute. They’ll act like divorced Dads who clearly still care about each other and want this arrangement to work, but are also both deeply hurt by whatever the other did to end it, until they actually talk to each other and make up, all while trying to avoid the Messiah role heaven wants to force on Jay.
(Also the reason heaven made Jay trans was that so she’s experience some of the worst parts of humanity- she was supposed to be sent to/adopted in Florida -and still be completely willing to die for them)
The end, Ima sleep now, I’m only 50% awake as is
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