avoidance often feels like a gentle partner in crime, it's inaction, but recently it also has helped me reckon with it through the fact it can also be a form of self-harm or even self-punishment. You aren't allowed to do things unless you do it perfectly, or even well, and it's like being locked out of your own life by a bad parent.
#I've not gone down an avoidance rabbit hole despite the C-PTSD bcoz of getting so badly burned by it#being on the receiving end of it on that scale.. before I ran into the temptation to be the same#was eye-opening#falling down that far into a pit of self-harm and self-loathing is really bad#it's bad enough that I was still immature in certain respects so I wasn't gonna add another shade of it to the mix#at the same time people have vastly diff degrees of access to care e.g. therapy so. it's tragic.#avoidance#relationships#attachment
