Anymal @anymal - Tumblr Blog

Usually i'm a little more articulate but I don't know if my brain has that capacity right now tbh.

So let me just say that it's really extremely difficult to watch someone you care about deeply go through essentially the SAME bad experience that you once had to go through. As an adult, and i'm barely even an adult honestly, it's really strange the curveballs life throws at you. I never thought I would get out of a bad relationship only to see someone I love basically get into the same exact problem that I once had and be helpless against it.

For instance, I had a really traumatic relationship that lasted for way too long (4 years on and off) and

it changed my personality from an extrovert to an introvert

it gave me an eating disorder (although I didn't know it at the time)

it distanced me from the only family i've ever really known aka my friends

it left me with no money in my savings account

it left me with no goals for my future

it left me with no place to live after we broke up and no job because we worked together

it left me severe trust issues for any future relationship

and it left me just generally miserable.

But the insane part is that I thought I was happy?? I thought that's how long term relationships were?? That when you felt so deeply in love with someone it had it's ups and downs and even the lowest lows you were supposed to get through together???

Well that's just not correct.

When you're in a happy, healthy and commited relationship, you guys should be pushing eachother towards your goals for the future ALWAYS. If that person isn't going to come to your art shows or buy you supplies to make your dreams come true, why do you need them? They should be encouraging you to save money for your future and invest in yourself, not just asking you to buy them things or urging you to spend recklessly all the time. They should be excited to meet your friends and eager to see the people who have been through some of your best and worst times with you. They should encourage you to keep your body and mind healthy and not make you regret eating foods or discourage you from hitting fitness goals because sometimes staying healthy does mean working on yourself too. They should be on your side, not against you or making your life more difficult in any way shape or form. They should be meeting you halfway ALWAYS.

It's one thing to have ups and downs.

It's another thing to always be in a constant down but getting comfortable enough in the "downs" that you're scared to be alone again.

You can get out of a bad situation and people will always be there for you on the other side. You don't have to feel bad about outgrowing someone, not seeing eye to eye with someone aymore or breaking someones heart who was holding you back and toxic in your life.

You only get one life, and you especially will only be this age once. How do you want to spend your time?

demxnte

I just wanna be around good energy. Connect with good people. Learn new things. Grow.

Isaías

After spending 4 years with the man I swore I would marry, I realized the love was one sided and made the hardest decision of my life to move on. I broke up with him, quit my job of 4 years where I was constantly being mistreated and harassed, and looked for a new job. Newly single, back at my angry mothers house in a tiny bedroom that used to be my brothers. I was told I would be given a contract and be treated like a tenant rather than a daughter. I was without a car or job and no idea when a job opportunity would arise, I was extremely depressed. I used to have everything planned, and it all just completely dissapeared all at once. I was back to the drawing board.

Months went by and I had no job. I had retail experience for 8 years? I worked in fast food, a restaurant, a bakery, and a fast paced clothing store. I was a store manager and a supervisor and I couldn't even get a janitors job. I ran out of money. My mom took all of my tax refund and I was always stuck at home because I had no license and no car. Depression continued for months.

Finally, I got a break. I decided that was it I was done sulking. After having nightmares of being in car accidents and killing my friends in the car with me while driving, I decided to suck it up and get my license. I scheduled the appointment and got the message "Your drivers test is in 3 months." WHAT. 3 Months?!?!?! That has to be a joke. I can't wait that long. What if I get a job? I can't pay a taxi? I was horrified. But I continued to practice anyway.

The day of my test I was so nervous I didn't sleep or eat the day before. The woman got into the car and asked me how I felt. I responded "I feel like i'm going to cry." I handed her the papers. She looked them over and said "Now you're really gunna cry. These aren't the right papers, I can't let you take the test today." She was right, I did cry.

I literally felt like I was being punished for trying to make my life better for myself. My boyfriend of 4 years was always calling other girls beautiful but never me. My ex-boss told me I wouldn't be allowed to schedule vacation time unless I "did something for him." I kept trying to get out of toxic situations but kept getting shut down.

But I knew I couldn't quit, I scheduled another test for a month later.

A few days after my scheduled test, my mom gave me some good news. "Anthony messed up again and they took his license. The car is yours if you can pay to get it out of the impound." I was SO EXCITED. But wait....what's the impound fee? "$500"....my heart sank. I didn't have any money. I have a chance at a $500 car that runs and I had no money. I truly don't remember how I did it, but I paid that fee and the car was mine. Soon enough I took my test and I got my license. The day after that I got a call about an interview about 20 minutes away which I could have never gotten to without my new car or license.

My first day walking around the factory, I saw no women, only men. Everyone there was a burly, tall man aged 35-60 except for one really out of place thug looking kid. I don't get nervous but I was starting to think I should turn this position down, I thought they made a mistake. I wanted to do data entry or paperwork. This was a factory assembling light fixtures and working with soldering irons.

I got the job, I started 3 days later. No time to look back now, so I wanted to make a good impression. I made cupcakes to bring into the factory and drove myself to work for the first time in my life.

I showed up to the factory and there he was, my trainer for the week, that thug looking kid I was talking about. His name was Isaías and he had an extremely thick accent but I couldn't figure out from where. After working next to him for 10 hours a day, 6 days a week, we got to know eachother very well. His accent was from Puerto Rico even though his hair was naturally more blonde than mine. His clothing choice wasn't so "thug" after all, he was really into fashion and basketball but there's not much room for creative fashion in a dirty factory. I also learned he only moved to New York 3 years prior and just learned English when he got here. We bonded a lot about music as we both love to sing. I finally had a job I felt respected at.

After 3 weeks of working together, he asked me out on a date....in Spanish which I don't speak a lick of. Turns out he was too nervous to ask in English. But I said no. My last boyfriend was someone I worked with everyday and breaking up was a nightmare. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again so I had to say no. He was heartbroken. But as the weeks went by, he asked me 3 more times, and got 3 more no's. I realized there was chemistry, but I couldn't take the chance. I finally had a job I enjoyed and got paid well. I had a car and a license and I was okay being single. But a thought occured to me...."What if he's the one and I won't even give him a chance? One date won't kill me." After that date, the rest is history.

We met in May 2017 and eloped in September 2017. After years of being cheated on, depression, heartbreak, harassment and pain, I wont let true happiness slip away from me ever again. Isaías is my miracle, and everyday I am alive I thank God for letting me accept that job offer that day.

la-laborista-republiko

smuntbloker-deactivated20190816

life is fuckin scary this shit isnt funny anymore

kiefbowl

when that menstrual depression hits you in the middle of your seasonal depression in the middle of your regular depression

writingisinsanity

Oh. It me.

Wedding Planning Woes

Okay I just need to vent.

I am part of this wedding app called Wedding Wire and I am just appalled at the things some people are saying.

If you only offer a cash bar you're being cheap. If you can't afford an open bar you need to cut the guest list to accomodate all of your guests drinking habits. If you recieve no gift from a guest you still have to send them a thank you card for attending YOUR wedding. Your MOH and bridal party don't have to do a damn thing for you and if you ask them to and they say no, you're not allowed to get upset. If you don't have diet and regular options for all guests you're being a bad host. If you set up a honeyfund you're being money hungry. If your family members offer to make the food, no one will eat it and you're being irresponsible for not having proper catering.

But my favorite so far?

If you got married in a courthouse with one witness and you were both in jeans rushing to get there, that was your wedding and your ONLY wedding. You are NOT allowed to have another "wedding" or a bachelorette party, bridal shower, ceremony, wear a white dress or anything no matter what the circumstance is. However, if you want to have a "vow renewal" you can, but don't expect any gifts, parties or money.

You know what? FUCK that.

If I want to have a wedding in a hotel, have my mom make the food, wear a $5000 gown, hire an officiant, write my own vows and have no alcohol, who the fuck is going to stop me? Thats right. No one. So honestly get over your damn selves. WEDDINGS ARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE GETTING MARRIED. END OF STORY.

#WeddingStress #WeddingEtiquette #IfYouDontLikeIt #PleaseCheckNo

anarchetypalarchive

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

moonfire1

Now that is a kickass therapist.

This post is dedicated to my amazing, incredible, talented and handsome husband. That's right! I said husband and I am sooooooo excited to finally say it and talk about it freely. I honestly cannot believe that I met someone so perfect for me. He's taught me so much about myself and about life in the short time that i've known him. You know, before him I had 3 serious relationships and I was in love so many times. I feel like I just fell in love with any guy that was nice to me, because I wasn't used to that kind of treatment. But because of him, I learned that you can love someone with all of your heart and soul, but if they don't love you the same way, you're not in love. That's the insane part about love, that when you're in the middle of it you can feel like you're floating and nothing can hurt you because you've finally found "the one." But most of the time "the one" is just "another one" that you're settling for because people instill this idea in your head that in order to have a happy relationship, you have to put up with every bad thing that your partner does. Now it's complicated because it's true and not true at the same time. You can be with the wrong person for so long that you convince yourself that they're the one for you. Most people want so badly to get married or have a family that they just settle. Isaías has taught me that you never have to settle. He's taught me that i'm beautiful in every lighting. He's taught me that i'm brave and that i'm capable of anything I put my mind to. And everyday he teaches me to love myself. Isaías is my miracle. And if you settle for someone any less than miraculous, you haven't found "the one."