Not to sound too millennial but who the fuck would get off a plane to their dream job in Paris for Ross fucking Geller

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Not to sound too millennial but who the fuck would get off a plane to their dream job in Paris for Ross fucking Geller
via weheartit
Being by yourself is always a better option than being devalued.
Animal snaps
Christine is me whenever i see anything mildly upsetting on tv
“sSTOP IT. ”
Let’s all take a moment and thank biology that our internal organs don’t itch.
Fun fact: digestion is actually really painful but your brain just tells you it’s fine the same way it tells you not to bite off your fingure even though you can
that’s… frustrating
Hey quick question why the FUCK doesn’t it do that for menstrual cramps
so in horror movies where flat tires stop people from running away…you can still drive with flat tires. it damages the tires and the wheels, and it’s not safe at high speeds, but you can still drive away from a raving serial killer. pro tip next time a knife wielding lunatic comes at you get in the car, you’ll be fine
well this would have been useful last night
See this is where people make the mistake. If the knife maniac is running straight at your car, SLAM it into reverse. You probably won’t kill them but you might cause some damage. Then drive. They’ll be stopped and you can get away, and maybe they’ll even be at the same spot to call the cops (and maybe the ambulance) on
what a top notch addition to an already excellent post
are we going to ignore the guy who apparently had an encounter with a serial killer last night
they lived to post about it, it’s fine
people have to realize that
some people are just more sensitive
some people don’t think the same way
some have different reasons in doing things
it’s not all about you
Not to sound cocky as shit but I’m a fucking good person with a big heart and I deserve a lot more than the shitty hand that life has dealt me this far
So many people confuse being irresponsible with being fun and having self-control with being boring
Piping hot tea because some of y'all really think it’s cute to be out here casually ruining your health and lives
i feel like the government has tried to erase all my memories of these
“I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”
— Pablo Neruda (via coral)
self driving cars aren’t even hard to make lol just program it not to hit stuff
if(goingToHitStuff) {
dont();
}