i want auroras and sad prose

— i told the moon about you. (she/her)

[livsoulsecrets]

Episode 3 as a whole is a punch to the gut, but I believe one of the most important parts of it to me was the way they perfectly portrayed how violent men and boys will take advantage of “not perfect” victims to try and rid themselves of any responsibility for their violence.

Even at 13, Jamie is aware of that, subconsciously or not. He uses words like “bitch” and “slut” to refer to a 13 year old girl—a child he killed. He brings up her leaked photos again and again, talks about her comments and her treatment of him as if any of that should exempt him from his crime.

He already knows he has an advantage, for being a boy and having hurt a girl who’s not perfect and “pure”. The show drives this point home when that store’s employee tells Jamie’s dad he suports his son and talks badly about Katie. He says there’s more people who agree with him.

Because there are. The whole time, Jamie brings up “Katie was flat”, “she took nude pictures”, “she rejected me”, “she bullied me”. He still tries to paint her as the villain when he was the one who admitted he only pursued her because she was fragile and he wanted to take advantage of that.

He even claps himself in the back because he didn’t sexually assault her after he murdered her, as if that makes him a good person. (When he did in fact commit a sexual crime by looking at her naked pictures without her consent).

I think that’s the most vital part of the show. The way Jamie can’t comprehend what he did was wrong because he doesn’t view Katie as a person, not even in death. That’s his understanding.

[thatsmybook]

What was interesting to me as a parent was watching how in episode 4 we see the father mirroring Jamie's behaviour in episode 3. It's in so many subtle and more obvious ways.

The way that hour of t.v. in episode 4 is slow so that we can steadily watch the father and watch how closely his wife monitors his emotions so that she can step in to regulate them for him. She pushes her emotions aside to monitor his because his potential to blow up and get violent verbally or physically is potentially dangerous for her and her daughter.

Jamie switches from screaming to apologising in episode 3. Then we see the father apologise in episode 4 for spilling the water from the bucket after blowing up at his wife. He apologises for the wrong things. His son does the same.

His father hasn't shared with his wife what he saw Jamie do on the video and she says he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it. In the same way Jamie hasn't spoken to any of his family about how he and his friends have been bullied at school - spat on and ridiculed in real life and online.

Episode 4 is so fascinating to me. Watching each person's individual roles in relation to each other in that regular family. Lisa especially monitoring the emotional state of her parents, so that she can intervene to soothe them or distract them to calm them down. She does the same with Jamie on the phone and still claiming Jamie as theirs. The parents think they've raised their kids the same. But they themselves have gendered roles in the family. The kids have mirrored their mother and father respectively.

[purr-in-ink]

🐈‍⬛🤍

last week to get Gracie 🖤

[shadowhaert]

i wish i was easier to love

u.k / u.k / yves olade / japanese breakfast / ross gay / u.k / u.k / u.k

[dcvina-claires]

this is so “do you love him?” “yes. more than anyone else in the world” and “fight well. keep us safe. i love you.” and “he loves her. of this he is certain” and “is there anyone in the coalition you trust?” “venka” and “lovely, wonderful kitay” and “she would draw this moment out forever if she could” and “i left for you” and “i’ll hate you for it but i’ll love you forever” and “she terrifies him and he loves her so much it hurts” and “should’ve realized that venka was trying to save her life” and “kitay. her best friend. her anchor” and “ah, i get it. you’re in love” and “did they love one another so fiercely, so desperately?” and rin and nezha and kitay and venka

[petrichara]

‘Love is the one thing that we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.’

“Eulogy from a Physicist” by Aaron Freeman, with quotes from Interstellar by Christopher Nolan, and images from NASA, Interstellar, Getty, Petrichara, and Reuters.

1- NASA: GOODS-South.

2- NASA: NGC 1850.

3- NASA: Iberian Peninsula.

4- Christopher Nolan: Interstellar.

5- NASA: From the Earth to the Moon.

6- Hannah La Folette Ryan: Subway Hands.

7- Adams Evans: Heart Nebula.

8- NASA: Exploring the Antennae.

9- NASA: Crescent Moon from the International Space Station.

10- Petrichara.

11- Getty Images.

12- NASA: SMACS 0723.

13- Reuters

[petrichara]

There’s a strange agony in your childhood best friends moving. Watching chosen snippets. Becoming happier, blossoming with new people, growing

Knowing their growth occurs through distance. Knowing you’re a chain to the past. Knowing home isn’t the same place.

I’m so happy for her. I’m beyond proud of her. I wish I knew who she is now instead of stretching the memory of a child onto a stranger

[apinkfied]

hello!!

if anyone can just give 5 mins of your time once every day from today (18/4) to this thurs (20/4) to vote for zhang hao, it’ll be great <3

it’s really easy to vote as well because you just need to download an app and create an account with your email address 🙏🏻

[yutito-archive]

ZHANG HAO ★ ‘KILL THIS LOVE’

[willowgarlands]

Grief is the ghost of love...

"Most times, a ghost is a wish."

""I loved you completely, and you loved me the same," she said, "that's all." And this was the point I wanted the most to make. That at the end of our life, if we can say this about each other, the rest doesn't matter. It’s the love that stays."

“I'm in the hallway again, I'm in the hallway. The radio's playing my favorite song. Leave the lights on. Keep talking. I'll keep walking toward the sound of your voice."

"you can’t take loved away. time and death and mistakes take people from you, but nothing and no one can take back that love... everything changes irreversibly with every second that passes, but nothing and no one can change the fact that i was loved and i loved back... you can’t take it away from me. i was loved. i was loved."

"At the root of every ghost, a yearning. A tug, in which a living person reaches so fervently toward something absent, that the absence becomes bodied. As anyone who has known loss understands full well, lack is not in fact, an absence at all. It is a presence. A person we love dies, or leaves, or changes, and a gap forms. It takes on their shape. Mimics their movement. Echoes their voice like a mockingbird. We feel this gap take up space, filling every place our lost one once was, and now isn’t. It reflects in mirrors. Flickers in candle flames. A phantom."

The Amazing Devil, Inkpot Gods//Jamie Anderson//Haunting of Hill House//twitter user @tothedeaths//Lang Leav, Memories//@boymartyr//Mike Flanagan//Xie Lei, Blow//Valeria Luiselli, Faces in the Crowd (tr. Christina MacSweeney)//Haunting of Hill House//Richard Silken, You Are Jeff//Henri Nouwen//Spiritfarer//@boymiffy & @petrichara//Amanda Lovelace, to drink coffee with a ghost//Max LL, What You Leave Behind//@nickyandmikey//The Newton Brothers//@wifegideonnav//Shannon Barry//GennaRose Nethercott, “A Ghost Is a Memory.” On Bodies, Belief, and the Places Ghost Stories Live

[apinkfied]

Francis Weller, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief // WandaVision // Andrew Garfield

[losticaruss]

man the scene after lockwood and lucy escape winkman's always messes me up. not just because lucy probably the first person in years to call lockwood out on his carelessness and recklessness, but also because of how lockwood responds to lucy. the pause before lucy asks "what is going on with you" and lockwood opens his mouth to speak, and nothing comes out, and he ends up staring at his shoes until lucy changes the topic. cause that is how it is though, when you're hurting and someone who cares takes your head in their hands and makes you look at what you've done, really look. and it's been years for him, years since anyone's asked that question to him, and he wants to talk about it, he realizes. he wants to tell her why he acts the way he does. but he's been hurting for so long, and for so long he's been telling himself that he's fine and he can figure it out on his own, that now it's not him that's stopping him from opening up to lucy, not anymore. somewhere in his mind, years ago, something switched, and talking about what he's going through and has gone through is like trying to break through a brick wall with your bare hands. "what is going on with you?" and he opens his mouth- let me tell you, let me let you in, give me this chance, just this once- but he can't, because what if she pities him? what if she hates him or, perhaps even worse, what if she doesn't? what if, after all this time, all of this effort of working things out on his own, what if she doesn't hate him for it, what if she takes his hand and says "it's okay. it's okay, you're okay. i understand, and im with you all the way". what if she makes it better, like she has in the past and does in the future? what if he's the idiot for not telling her? so he says nothing- he lets the question hang in the air, and he lets her give up on it. because he needs to be the one to have all the answers- he needs to solve the problems. if she doesn't hate him, then he hates himself all the more for not realizing the answer was in front of him the whole time. so she gives up, and he lets her. it's more comfortable that way, anyways.

[joons]

one thing i really love about lucy and lockwood's dynamic is how she sees his self-confidence as an obvious sign that he is someone Famous and Important. he does have some accolades, of course, but lucy comes from a world where your achievements are very much tied to your self-worth, and every time she slips, it shows all over her face. she can't hide how miserable she is when she fails and hurts other people. her mother berates her for showing how sad she is after the mill incident, and it feels totally inhuman to lucy that anyone would want to hide their grief. she immediately calls her mother "deader than dead" because to not be in touch with those emotions feels so wrong that it doesn't even seem like you could be alive. maybe she wishes she could mask it better, that she wouldn't "drown" in her emotions, but she doesn't know how else to be.

she doesn't know how to fake it, and so the only reference point she has for someone being as cavalier, confident, self-assured, and hypnotizing as lockwood is that he has already become the most famous agent in the country, in charge of a prestigious agency, with a huge house that he owns, he never makes mistakes, he always comes out on top. you see this all through the first episode, where "who are you?" is her go-to question about him. she expects him to be at all the parties because she doesn't know how anyone could fake it as well as he can. it has to be real. and i think this is why it takes her so long to realize that he's just as miserable, insecure, scared, and depressed as she is. she's used to seeing that "mask" as being a sign of untrustworthiness, of lying, of manipulation. and it is those things, but by being patient with him, she understands why he does it. she fights against her own desire to cut ties and run because she's afraid of being taken advantage of. he fights against his instinct to hide his feelings and lets himself admit just how much he's struggling, which goes against everything that has kept him alive up to this point, that optimistic attitude just carrying him through when nothing else will. and lucy realizes that the mask he has is real. he really is trying to become that other person, for her, for george, someone Famous and Important that they can rely on to protect them. i just think it's interesting that the series shows you all these children with different coping mechanisms, and it's about them understanding each other better, even when they make choices so wildly different. they pull each other back from the dangers they run headlong into. lucy gets too close to ghosts; lockwood is too reckless; george wants to know too much. they learn to see each other clearly and in the process learn to save themselves. to want to.

[pearlcaddy]

locklyle + hands

[alexiethymia]

Nope, no. I cannot and will not shut up about this. The eye was always going to be drawn to their hands, what with Lucy’s black nail polish and Lockwood’s family ring (and those two tiny details also make me feel things). This set reminds me of those tag yourself games, which locklyle scene are you? (I am all of them, I am absolutely feral for all of them). 

Anyway, this set makes me think that it’s Lockwood whose love language is touch, because see in the first gif, he’s the one whose hand seeks hers. Because he (and she) absolutely cannot even take their eyes off of each other, he goes by touch, feeling for her thumb. Lucy gets what he wants so she clasps his hand first but he still makes sure that part of his hand is over hers. And that highlight on his ring, contrasting with the black nail polish, again I cannot get over it. Old money and punk is a top tier otp vibe all on its own. This repeats in almost every scene. He is almost always the one to reach out to enfold her hand in his. So yeah, I think he’s the one who’s love language is touch. Lucy doesn’t seem to mind it and perhaps eventually embraces it as something that also gives her comfort. 

And the 2nd and 6th scenes? With them grazing each other’s fingers, intertwining but not quite, just lingering - mygod why can’t they commit, they have my whole heart because they managed to embody the epitome of pining just from their hands alone. Because see, Lockwood will grasp and grip Lucy’s hand as if his life depends on it in life-and-death situations, because well, his life does depend on it (and hers too), but he can’t even dare to do that in their quieter moments. The best he can do is lightly caress her fingers with his own, because see like this if he has to he can pass it off as an accidental touch. He doesn’t dare grasp her as tightly as he really wants to when there are no ghosts between them because it means having to confront whatever - this - is. 

Like I can’t believe I’m here overanalyzing hands but it is what it is because even the way they grasp at each other embodies their characters so well. For Lockwood it’s about quantity, it’s about how many moments he can savour. But when he is in full control of his faculties he doesn’t dare go beyond her hands, her arms, perhaps maybe her shoulders. But Lucy, though she doesn’t reach out first to interlace hands as much as Lockwood, when she does, oh boy she doesn’t pull punches, she goes all in, tenderly cradling his face and all. Lockwood makes me feral but Lucy does too. In the second to the last gif you see her forcing focus from her to him through their foreheads. In the last gif, not only does she cradle Lockwood’s head (on her lap, she did a lap pillow, my god can they get even more cliche??), she even strokes her thumb over his cheek. The utter softness I can’t take it. 

When I watch the series, it’s like I feel vindication on behalf of book!Lucy because in as much as Lucy was always so confused by Lockwood, you can clearly see how confused Lockwood is by her too because apparently she isn’t actually as transparent as she thought herself to be. We as the readers just thought the same as her because we were privy to her innermost thoughts. So all this time that Lucy thought that Lockwood could see right through her, in Lockwood’s mind he’s probably thinking is she only reciprocating because I’m touch-starved, like she’s touchy-feely towards me too but is it like in a friend way?? Because denial has never been Lockwood’s problem (it’s more like crippling lack of self-worth and self-preservation). That’s Lucy’s. Even if you are Anthony Lockwood it’s hard to read someone you have feelings for because what if what you think you’re reading is something you only hope was there and not there in actuality? And of course, Lucy being Lucy will never give any indication if she can help it. In other words, they’re the embodiment of ‘the love is requited, they’re just idiots’. 

[sproutlett]

i’m realizing that i have so much time. i have time to grow my hair long. i have time to cut it all off and then to grow it back again. i have time to discover new hobbies and give up on things that no longer serve me. i have time to grow and change and travel and change my opinions and live differently than how i am now. i have so much time. take a deep breath and slow down

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

THEY ARE BLUE, IM GONNA CRY

the entire show this boy wears the same fucking pink socks except for this one time where hes wearing blue, lucy wears blue, thats her damn color, hes matching her, im losing it

[athenasnina]

You forgot to add op, he always wears pink socks except for this one time when they’re PRACTICALY ON A DATE.

This stupid boy told her to go shopping for formal wear, somehow found out the color of her dress (which ofc it’s blue it’s the only color she wears), then bought/found socks that matched it exactly despite the fact that he lives in his pink socks (and seems to be the only color of socks he owns).

And anyone that says this was work and not a date, I would just like to direct you to the shy, bashful smiles they exchange when Lockwood informs her that George would not be coming and that they’d be going to this party together. alone. just the two of them. You know, the very thing Kipps assumed was the reason Lucy wouldn’t go to the party with him.

[healing-is-cool]

You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts again. You're going to be in awe of a sunset. Watch your favorite show while you eat your favorite food. Find money on the street. Discover a great band you haven't heard of before. You will find your way back.

[thisgameissonintendo]

this scene >