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Gone // The Exploration

growing up without you was never all that bad you remember all those times that we never had without cause, i am lost, simply drifting with the dust or the wind that takes with it all my trust just a child, just a teen, somewhere in between i had found out, i highly doubt that you'll ever make it back it's time to see my face sweetly turned away on the hate when i laid down every night, i would stare at the brilliant stars in the sky why did you leave? are you too afraid to find?

#gone #demography #The Exploration

perspectives // normal state

pass me one more note folded a bathroom stall that i painted i'll lose myself for just one second tie me up let my eyes roll back fuck the sun i'll paint it all black i don't wanna be here today i don't wanna feel anything life is a game and you'll lose if you don't have anything to prove i've got all these stories to tell my friends' grandchildren i've seen the world through so many perspectives my dumbass decisions made me wise i've seen the world through so many pairs of eyes

#perspectives #the weather #normal state

mansions // normal state

i'd rather be upset than try and fail at anything different so lay me down put me to rest i wanna feel weightless the walls in this mansion are limitless i just need anything to take off the edge

#mansions #the weather #normal state

the racquet theory // normal state

today i feel unworthy of the air that i am breathing in and out and in and out to take my mind off of this feeling maybe i'll keep my mouth closed it never does it's job right so i'll retire all the thoughts that make me feel like i'm on fire i am burning you are water save me i am getting hotter

i fucking hate myself for hating myself this circle's spiraling but i'm too stubborn to ask for help i'm wasting my life hating being alive i'm wasting my time waiting for it to be right i'm wasting my life, i'm wasting my time

#the racquet theory #the weather #normal state

tdfw // normal state

i am no property but you can have all of me make me an offer i'll settle for anything i don't believe in anything that's meant to be cause you were never meant for me, you were never meant for me if you ever fell for me you know that i'd pick you back up but i am free falling and your fucking arms are crossed

#tdfw #normal state #the weather

palcaptain // Alaska

i walked a long way home today, just to make some time before i leave this all behind. just to follow the same old path that leads to the aftermath of verdicts i’ve hosted. oh happiness, where is it that you nest? i can’t seem to find you. and i will have to fight with nothing by my side, but the will to stay alive.

oh the will is going blind.

#palcaptain #alaska

Golden. // Alaska

i hope you don’t mind as sit here with an open chest and a list of my problems and regrets for you to carry on your shoulder. i never had a problem with leaving you with such a hassle. i swore i wouldn’t but i did. i’m holding on to this. this is my attempt at happiness. you can’t stop me again.

i’m holding on to this, i’m holding on to this.

#alaska #golden.#demo 2011

I don't know what I want // WATERMEDOWN

i don't know what I want, but I know it's not this. I know it's not this. It's not the weight of the world on my shoulders pressing down until my legs give. It's not the absence of control as I'm deemed the first in line. It's not the constant struggle to keep up as I fall behind. I've come to realize, for me, there's nowhere left to hide. for me, there's nowhere left.

#watermedown #i don't know what i want #perfect is pointless

watermedown // #6

i’m writing you to let you know my resolution’s “let you go” my resolution’s “let you go” i’m writing you to let you know my resolution’s “let you go” but i still have yet to let you go…

#watermedown #6 #ghost stories

watermedown // #5

i spend my time pacing back and forth at night i take my time making sure everything’s right i waste my time hating myself for everything i should have said or should have done that would have saved me from losing anyone

#watermedown #5 #ghost stories

watermedown // block the sun

I've planted a seed in the ground beneath my feet with the hopes that it would grow to be tall enough to block the sun, and provide shade for everyone in this dreadful summer heat. I lost all I had, but it doesn't feel so bad. I'll learn from all of my mistakes and use them to recreate myself into the man I want to be, not just some boy lost in everything. I refuse to be evergreen. I will rebuild with what's left of me. I constantly dwell on the past, and I hate myself for that, but it's not too late to remake myself.

#watermedown #block the sun #Accept/Except Yourself

watermedown // the aftermath

I have been here for a year, and I

have yet to befriend anyone new. I swear that's true. Awake, but dead I seem to be as I progress through everything I do. I swear that's true. The aftermath proves failure, for I've lost all touch with everything I knew. I swear that's true. I've been here for a year, but I have yet to get my mind off of you. I have yet to get my mind off of you.

#watermedown #the aftermath #Accept/Except Yourself

Nostalgical // The Exploration

from me to you with sincerity, look around; everybody left eventually. just to grow up. just to move on to work their dead end jobs until they're dead and gone for a nice car, or a family protected by fences and systems of security damn it all, we've still got lives to lead somewhere buried in the hole of our memories

so much for "so longs” it's too late now (too far gone) separate ways, different lives foreign hands, distant times

#nostalgical #for cabana #the exploration

K____n // The Exploration

#tunes #the exploration #k___n #for cabana

Meeting // The Exploration

there was a man at the fire who spoke soft through a beard to him i reached out my hand as he was holding back tears i said "i'm looking for something" he told me, "i'm searching, too" and then out spilled the words: if you help me then i'll help you

#meeting #for cabana #the exploration

The Ocean // The Exploration

i am always waiting on you i will be here rotting for you darling come back no matter the distance darling come back no matter the time

#the ocean #basement demo #the exploration

I Guess I’m Leaving // The Exploration

don’t ever forget me, cause I wont forget you hold on to the times that we had; when we were young and in love without a care, your hand on my shoulder as we sat on the porch; my hand inside yours

#i guess i'm leaving #basement demo #the exploration

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