"You Chose Books And I Chose Looks"

[gumtooth]

the sun has no business tapping out at the tender hour of 5pm bitch i have depression

[cyandie]

holy sh*t

IM the demon living in my house ?

[apologyfries]

*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me

*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary

[intensional]

leaked video of me after university graduation when the thousands of dollars i wasted on getting a degree doesn’t get me a single job 

[greelin]

why do so many 40+ yr old men have the audacity to like.. flirt w/ me in all seriousness. i’m half (or less!) your age, bud. do you not have places to be? go call your kids. eat a grapefruit. stock up on viagra. decay. the options that don’t involve me are endless

[lmaonade]

brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah

[pochowek]

brain: do you have your wallet and your phone and your keys and your pocket knife and y-

me: *playing my ass and thighs like a bongo set at this point*

[dogmuzzle-deactivated20170328]

me at the dentist

dentist: when was the last time you flossed?

me: bro u were THERE

[ithelpstodream]

[c-bassmeow]

This is the funniest plot twist ever

[incogniito]

A cough is just a crunchy breath

[ruinedchildhood]

[lestrangest]

this is such a well elaborated joke and i appreciate it a lot

[tereozil]

Laugh From Around The World In Messages.

From fb.

[thembobot-deactivated20241025]

- Duck

[collegiate-confession]

[babyanimalgifs]

[gryffon]

ive never wanted to eat a leaf more than i have when watching land before time movies

[sonicbinch]

[chickenfarmersan]

[stability]

she’s perfect 💅🏼

[theinturnetexplorer]

“The concept is simple. Take a blank sheet with nothing but the basic outline of a pinup girl and illustrate a unique scene around her.”

Art by David Jablow

[alwaysbewoke]

love that this didn’t get nasty or overly sexual. awesome.