TEMPEST

"Sleep is good," he said. "And books are better."

[apotheum]

it’s so unfair and I’m so, so, always irreparably sad and it’s all your fault, it’s ALL your fault. You ruined my soul.

[apotheum]

visiting a friend in Atlanta in two weeks and nervous because I know it’s going to make me really nostalgic and sad I’ll never have the feelings and memories I had when living there ever again.

[apotheum]

Do you still read this? Or am I speaking into the void, writing these words to myself?

[apotheum]

in another time, in another life

[oldfarmhousefallfeatures]

good morning

http://www.instagram.com/allthebeautifulthingsblog/

[meadowsmagical]

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

The universal human experience of packing underwear for a vacation like you’re going to shit yourself every day

[isabellemenin]

Tondo 01 ©Isabelle menin 2021

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[thecozyinteriors]

[jewfrogs]

this is so mean but sometimes i see published writing and suddenly no longer feel insecure about my own writing ability. like well okay that got published so im guessing i dont have much to worry about

[lstnrr]

La Buena Vida: Roma.

[askinnyblackman]

[stcviebudd]

alternatively

[apotheum]

I still dream about him. Oftentimes it’s him with another woman, me screaming at them, him arguing back at me. Probably my brain still trying to get the actual closure and retribution I was denied. Other times it’s us tangled up in the sheets, hands clasped, just like it used to be. Then I wake up alone and my stomach drops because all of it was just a dream and it will never be that way again.

Why do I have to suffer for his mistakes and he gets to be happy? It’s not fair. I don’t want him to be happy. I don’t care if that’s childish. I wish he would suffer like I have.

But...I still miss him. And I still dream about him. Not sure if that will ever change.

[apotheum]

Today (yesterday) is Mother’s Day. I’m at work, in labor + delivery, helping women become mothers.

I’m so sad.

This would be my first Mother’s Day.

We had an 18week loss deliver and I had to take the baby’s placenta to the lab. So small.

I feel her pain. I’m reliving my own.

I was a mom.

I’m a mom, too.

[apotheum]

God, I wish I’d never fucking met you.

[pictures-of-luxury]

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

Archilochos, tr. by Willis Barnstone, from Greek Lyric Poetry; “Love,”