ZSIGU APULE @appliwater - Tumblr Blog

Objectively the funniest part about And Then There Were None (2015) is that Justice Wargrave comes up with this fiendish plot that he's incredibly proud of, right down to the pseudonyms of "Unknown" and then everyone else is too stupid to notice, so he has to spell it out to them, all while desperately not trying to give the game away

beemovieerotica

i know medical reports have to write things this way, but when i see "dull mood, denies smoking" on my doctor's visit summary i can't help but hear "boring bitch and a croaking liar"

pangur-and-grim

one of the medical reports for my broken leg called me attractive and pleasant, and I haven't let myself read another medical report since because I want to maintain a Schrödinger's cat type situation where the reports might say 'still attractive, would fuck' or they might say 'ugly now, aged poorly' and I'll never know because I refuse to let the wave function collapse into a single reality

mrsterlingeverything

Guys… we have to do the main quest at some point

marzipan0-0

Shame

thethirdromana

The worst types of cookbook:

The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.

The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...

The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.

The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).

The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!

The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...

The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).

The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.

flowercrownimpala

i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like

well this is fucking stupid

daenerys-targaryen-moved

plavoptice

[image description: photos of the cast of Game of Thrones at the season 8 table read, in various stages of grief]

woomylord-deactivated20240930

posts that are made funnier by the image description

lassukmiboolelunk

A Sárkányos Dallaszt kedvelő, de az utolsó évadot valahogy máig meg nem néző kollegámnak kerestem ezt a poszt régóta!

amateur

superdaisypowerhour

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,