heyyy do you have any Mel whump? maybe getting attacked seriously and the gang surrounding her/treating her? pls (and ofc protective Frank and him helping her after)
Good news, I do have something about Mel getting attacked here!
bad news, I took the opportunity to write this which is basically just angst. I feel like it's not sad enough (not like it was in my head) but anyways.
Mel feels ridiculous for crying this time โ it wasnโt her first break up, really far from it, how was she no better at managing her emotions than the first time?
It never really was about the individual break up, this she realized after the fourth break up, but she didnโt process how little the person could matter until Jade.
They dated about 7 months after Mel joined PTMC. Trinity had dragged her to a dive bar after their shift (Garcia was on call that night) with effusive promises about how she would wing woman her into the love of her life, or at least a few good orgasms. Jade would be the 5th person Trinity had set her up with. None were the love of her life yet, but the orgasm promise was true. She swore she had a sixth sense for that king of thing, and while Mel wasnโt sure how that worked, she couldnโt argue with the results.
Jade was boyish in a way that made Melโs mouth water. Cropped black hair with shaggy curls that never went long without Melโs hands running through them when they cuddled. She played softball on the weekends, listened to Dolly Parton and k.d. lang in the car, and had so many tattoos on her body that it was impossible for Mel to tell how many there were as they bled into each other. Her touch was firm, her fingertips rough โ she was the harpist for the Pittsburgh Philharmonic.
Their relationship lasted a 5 month whirlwind of late night hook ups, and drive thru dinner dates. Jade was unreliable. When she made it to actual dates she was 45 minutes late, cheap grocery store bouquet in hand (always roses, Mel liked daisies). When she didnโt, Mel received excuses; like her cat was โacting weirdโ but Mel absolutely should not come over โ it would only distress Remy. The night Mel broke up with her started with one text.
JADE๐๐ค: hey wonโt make the reso, got steelers tix
Mel wanted to scream. She hadnโt even wanted to go to this restaurant, there was only one dish on the menu for her to order (with modifications), the lighting was irritating to her eyes, and every noise was reverberating off the industrial interiors. She asked if they could charge the card on the reservation for her drinks and left.
She didnโt respond to Jadeโs text, instantly blocking her number. Considered unblocking it when she saw the Steelers lost miserably just to twist the knife. She still has her contact open when she reached Trinityโs porch, tears streaming down her face. Trinity took the phone out of her hands, deleted the number, text thread, and every photo, not returning the device until the next morning.
Mel laughed when she hit the bottom of her Ben & Jerryโs pint.
โI didnโt even like her that much, we didnโt have much in common outside of sex.โ
But her heart still ached. It was never about Jade, or Ryan, or Premila, or Jackson, or Kai, or anyone else. It didnโt matter how much she did or didnโt like them (it varied), the point is it was another person who couldnโt love her. In the case of Jade, more like wouldnโt. To be loved was the thing she desired so deeply, to be seen, understood, cared for, and it was the one thing that felt impossible to come her way. The ache of loves absence never went away.
All that to say, when she finds herself crying on Frank Langdonโs carpet over her break up with Rashad, something about her being clingy but also emotionally distant, sheโs not sure on the details, her ears started ringing when he explained it to her. She really thought she had made progress this time, she didnโt wait to tell him about Becca, she didnโt hide her dead parents when he asked about her family, she was honest when she was overwhelmed instead of tamping the feelings down.
And yet here she was, sobbing into the plush white carpet of Frankโs new home. It was fortunate for him that she wasnโt wearing mascara. The only relaxed part of her body was her skull, enjoying the benefits of Frankโs strong hand carding through her hair.
โYou want to talk about it?โ he whispers gently.
โWhat use is it? We both know Iโm unlovable. Hard to love. Incompatible with the entire idea.โ It hurt to be constantly abandoned, it felt stupid to keep reaching out for more. That was the problem with being human, Mel thought, youโll never stop craving companionship and affection.
โThatโs not true.โ
โYou thought so.โ she meets his blue eyes, unflinching.
He sucks in a breath, cutting through the hanging silence with its hiss.
โThatโs not fair Melissa.โ his voice was sharp,
Even worse, youโll find someone worth being vulnerable with and the feeling will be so intoxicating that you canโt help but ruin the whole thing.
Ask Mel how she knows.
Sheโs spent the last two years helplessly chasing that high that was being loved by Frank Langdon. If you asked her, sheโd say it felt like being inside a dreamy 70s soft rock song, the bone deep warmth of California sunshine carried by the strings of the guitar, glittering vocals like wind chimes on a breezy summer morning.
Reality was more complicated. They dated on and off for a year and a half โ for 2 months before he and Abby separated, 3 months once he had moved into his own place, every other week while he was in the midst of divorce proceedings, completely off during the custody battle โ that was the most painful part before the end, then confusingly together but not really โ it was all in secret, sometimes she was over at his apartment every day, or inviting him to hers, and sometimes she rejected anything that would leave them alone together.
โHey do you want to go see the new Superman movie this weekend?โ he asked, toeing off his shoes as he entered her apartment.
โOh!โ her face twitched, searching for a feeling to settle on, โshouldnโt you see that with your kids?โ
He looked at her like she said something funny. โThey already went with Abby. I donโt know why she took them, theyโre really not into superhero stuff anyways.โ
She stayed silent, twiddling with her fingers.
โMel? Youโre doing it again.โ
โIโm not doing anything.โ Sheโs not sure how long he stood there, two feet away from where she sat on the couch, on the TV Tim Riggins tells Lyla Garrity he feels closer to god when heโs with her, no words pass between them. They had had a million versions of this conversation before, the issue never seeming to resolve.
โAre you ever going to get over this?โ he raised his voice, just enough for the frustration to bleed through without startling her.
She chewed the tip of her thumb, a childhood habit she had never managed to kick, avoiding his eyes, โHow can Iโ?โ
โEasily! It has nothing to do with you.โ
She flinched. โIt doesnโt feel that way.โ
He tried to meet her eyes, shifting his head and jerking his body to be in her view. He couldnโt understand the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was the beneficiary of all his goodness, all his progress, and she had done nothing to earn it. He lost his family and he failed to see the problem there.
โI canโt keep doing this if you wonโt stop feeling guilty about my life.โ Frank spat out. He hastily shoved his shoes back on and left.
It was 82 degrees and her home had never felt so cold.
2 years had passed since that night, the guilt lingered anyhow.
i feel like my (and others) instinct is always Mel being hurt by the affair because he won't leave his wife but have we considered abandonment!issues!Mel who constantly makes comment about how it isn't real, just temporary fun, he will make a joke about leaving his wife and she's like ? why would you do that ? and it hurts loverboy because he's ready to sign the papers if she'd just ask but she doesn't seem to want him like that
My ps partner au: Frank accidentally calls Mel while attempting to have phone sex with his wife (estranged maybe? Or gone for a work trip idk) and proceeds to get her off instead
BUSTER KEATON in SHERLOCK, JR. (1924)
โKeaton told film historian Kevin Brownlow that one scene inspired the entire picture: a man, in this case, a projectionist, tries to enter the movie he is watching. At first he canโt; the characters in the film he is watching throw him out of the screen. When he sneaks back in he suddenly finds that he has no control over the narrative: a nighttime scene in a garden cuts without warning to a busy city street, then to a mountain cliff, then to a jungle filled with lions, to a desert, etc. It is a scene with a precision and clarity that is breathtaking. Keaton, his cameramen, and technical director Fred Gabourie filmed it with surveying equipment to align the separate elementsโฆ It may be the first time a filmmaker ever questioned the meaning and function of linear narrative.โ โ Daniel Eagen
Henry Ossawa Tanner's depiction of the Annunciation will always be my absolute favourite but I really do think there is something so ethereal and endearing about his study before the official artwork was completed.
The way Mary sits with almost no visible features but you can still tell that her hands are clasped in prayer- the angel Gabriel manifesting as a single stroke of light as the paint and room seems to contort around him. Easily one of the all timers.
reblog to give a mutual a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars in cash
Cher wears costumes through the ages, from Eve with her apple to disco era Cher, while performing the song Ain't Nobody's Business (If I Do) on the television special Cher...and Other Fantasies, originally broadcast by NBC on March 7th, 1979. This four minute number featured nineteen costumes, all designed by Bob Mackie.
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