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I am so sorry I cannot

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Snarky gays made fun of that guy who stands by balloon quotes and now I can’t take balloon quotes seriously. Harrumph.

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I’m so afraid. Just. Constantly.

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They’re opening my state up somewhat soon. This is dumb. Really dumb. I can’t express how dumb this is.

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Trying to be nicer to myself. It’s so hard. Why is it so hard to not be mean to yourself? ALSO Why is it so hard to be healthy? It’s like all these very sensible things are hard for no good reason.

Brought to you by: Me having trouble not overdrinking and overthinking and overeating.

I wanna be stable and focused.

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Boy hurt his ankle and so I’m rooting around for an ace bandage because I’m sure I have one somewhere. One I purchased entirely because “dunno feels like you should have a ace bandage in case of emergencies” so in that way I’m a very prepared person but also I’m rooting around for it and might get lazy and just order one and in that way I’m a very disorganized and lazy coddled person.

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Rewatching Coco and I’m still not over the special features where they talked about showing an early version of it where the abuela was just plain mean. So the latinx women who saw it gave their feedback like yeah no. ‘There may be a firm hand but it’s out of love’ and Pixar was like *writes on notepad* You’re saying Mexican women love their families? Okay sounds fake but we will make the changes. And just thank God those women spoke up because the accuracy of the abuela is just so lovely. And makes me cry.

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It’s like a jolly ghost plague doctor and his plague dog and a little magical radish they’re going to help cure something with.

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She loves me.

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I’m listening to piano man on repeat because it’s hitting just right for some reason and I bet my husband is like what the fuck does that action even mean?

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Bed time.

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I just bought a 5 pack of T-shirts and a set of fabric markers. I like fashion a lot but like during this quarantine for some reason figuring out what to wear is super confusing. So now it’s gonna be tights, tank, and tee. Also yes I am very likely going to write the days of the week on 1-5 shirts. It’ll be up to me to remember the weekend days.

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Gonna get one of the markers and add through out the day. This genuinely did save time today.

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[aprilandagnes]

I just bought a 5 pack of T-shirts and a set of fabric markers. I like fashion a lot but like during this quarantine for some reason figuring out what to wear is super confusing. So now it’s gonna be tights, tank, and tee. Also yes I am very likely going to write the days of the week on 1-5 shirts. It’ll be up to me to remember the weekend days.

[aprilandagnes]

Gonna get one of the markers and add through out the day. This genuinely did save time today.

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So basically I feel guilty that I’m blessed enough to be able to work from home but also fuckin worried about losing my job. Which is uhhhh not fun and I have very little pity for myself because I’m like you’re so lucky stfu and be chill because you cannot stop a lay-off. And uhh yeah.

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I just think it’s rude how I keep being forced to listen to Martin Freeman do an American accent. Isn’t his nasal passages tired?

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Anyhoo I’ve been OCD about handwashing for years. And I don’t say that lightly but also don’t feel I need to prove my OCDness to anyone. I will say one of my short plays (which is no longer going to be produced this upcoming may but that’s life ) had a joke about how main character a wouldn’t let main character b eat samples and she quotes the CDC at him. Which yes is something I’ve done for years but basically like the CDC for years have been like ya know how diseases spread? Y’all nasty and don’t wash your hands. Genuinely for years they’ve been saying if people washed their hands we’d have far less spread of diseases (like the flu which kills thousands yearly) and for years people have been like ehhhh I’m good. Which drove people like me insane because I have to counteract that grossness with me doing even more. Like I’ve been going through my boxes and the amount of hand sanitizer and wipes and gloves I’ve had just by me living my life is a decent amount. I mean I also had masks too. Anyhoo I saw a tweet asking how OCD folks are doing in the middle of this whole thing and the answer is: surprisingly prepared but still definitely not okay at fuckin all.

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Cat rant about husband and his inabilities