Hello. There's no better way to bring me back from my permanent blogging hiatus than my beloved Niki’s 3rd album, BUZZ.
I did a review of her 2nd self-titled album years before and of fucking course, I would never miss her next album. In fact, I might make it a tradition to review her album unsolicited every time she releases a new media. I haven’t made one for her first album(not Moonchild because she is not Niki’s first album for me, it was "wanna take this downtown"), for I thought and still think it would be unnecessary to review something already well-acclaimed. (And also, I am a very busy woman.) But who knows?
I also want to point out that I'll be writing a review for Sabrina's new album, just as I did for her first one. I don’t know what’s up with these two babes, but they always release something almost at the same time. I am not complaining. Jesus, lord. I was fed for the whole summer. But I’m just noticing how their timelines of album drops are almost similar.
Again, not complaining. Just an observant girl. More for me, I guess.
So let’s just jump right in before this whole conversation lead to another.
Buzz is Niki’s third album after her self-titled Nicole and her first album, Moonchild. But let’s be real here, we don’t consider Moonchild as her first album. Though for the sake of keeping record, it was. To me, it was her ‘wanna take this downtown’ EP.
The second album, Nicole, made a lot of record-breaking achievements for her. And for me it sets the tone or shapes Niki’s music tone. If I’m going to choose what genre Niki would be in… it would probably be R & B soul or Alternative/Indie. Which is the very similar genre of Nicole, and wanna take this downtown. I am a firm believer that in those genres is where she can shine the most. So sticking to Alternative/Indie for this album was a really great move. I’m glad that she’s finally finding her tone or what she wanted to become as an artist. Although, dabbling to R & B soul once in a while wouldn’t be so bad either.
The whole album is very Alternative/Indie. As a matter of Ara’s facts, it also gives me a retro vibe type of sound. Which works really well with her chosen genre.
Straight off the bat, I would rate this ★ ★ ★ ★/5. (Might change.)
I would rate each song in 3 categories: (1) Lyricism- the art of word plays and similes and hyperboles, which is the biggest factor for me, (2) Cohesiveness - how it falls into the album’s story, or does the vibe match the album? etcetera, and (3)Playability - how much I can play the song, whatever situation I'm in. A sad day? BOOM. Happy day? BOOM.
The album consists of 13 tracks. With songs ranging from about 3-4 minutes. Which, I would say is a very good amount of songs in an album. Both for the tracks and the length of each song.
Let’s start with the album’s opener, album title: BUZZ.
Buzz is such a perfect opener. Upbeat. Sets the tone for the whole album. The funny thing is that it would make me yearn, not for someone, but for the song itself. It was intentional and the construction of it was phenomenal. I think it embodies the album. A slow-blooming song. One more thing I like about it is that it describes not the word buzz, but the feeling of the word buzz without even saying the word itself. Which is brilliant. I mean come on, it’s Niki. Her pen was lethal.
Second track: the first single, Too Much of A Good Thing.
This is what I said when I said I got some retro vibes from the album. It’s the guitar riffs in this song. Niki said that she subconsciously wrote and made this song just so she could strut in a city while playing this song. And yes, I agree with her. Whatever she said, your honor. One thing I would say about this song is it took me the second play, to get this song. I was in a funk where I was trying to get over my ‘oldie song’ phase. So this song made me make a face at the first listen. But it wasn’t really the song’s fault. But then I gave in and just loved the song.
I love it when Niki is sad(sorry, Niki), but I love it more when she’s a little spiteful. Actually not little but a real spiteful. Niki, I know you could do more. Put some more!!!!!!!!!!!! The guitar in the intro to this song was CRAZY! This is for the assholes who are thick faced and for the girls who finally realized they need to get up and fight back. This is your colossal loss, BITCH.
First time I heard this, I loved it already. I love the beat, the story, the lyrics, the word play. The song is very playful with a pinch of being petty. I love itttttttttt. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH. Maybe I am biased but this is the best song on the album.
A little intermission for this, do you guys know in Swiftie tradition where T.Swift usually put the saddest song on her album in the Track 5. The infamous track 5. So here it is, THE track 5 of this album: Did you like her in the morning? The twin sister of The Apartment We Won’t Share.
So fucking sad. And full of regrets. Just what I want in my fucking song. No further comments. Just, magnificent.
Lyricism: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★/5 Cohesiveness: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★/5 Playability: ★ ★ ★ /5 (3 because I don’t wanna be sad for the rest of my fucking life.)
Next track, is an extension of the track 5 songs, Take Care. Niki might be enjoying putting too much of track 5 in this album and yeah, fucking heartbreaking but SO GOOD. Jesus, if the previous song was just regrets and doubts, this is letting go and acceptance. It felt like Niki was telling me something personally that I personally connect to her as well.
Oh so we are jumping from the ‘this-is-the-most-heartbreaking-song’ to ‘I-have-this-fat-crush-I-wanna-die.’ Thanks, Niki. Both are just me ending up dead. But that’s what you wanted anyways, right? This song is for desperate girlies out there. The yearner who can’t take it any longer. To the crushes who are so fucking blind. Look at me!!!!!!!1
Do you know that magnets and Tsunamis are two things connected to each other? Niki might not do this intentionally, but I do love connecting things like this. And I'm in awe every time I find this itsy bitsy connection. This song is when you can’t stop the feelings anymore. Lover girl era. Or more of a one-sided crush era (for all of you out there). My third best song on this album.
Next, my second best favorite and the second single for this roll out.
Blue Moon. Another retro vibe song, but this song was retro wrapped, sad song. I always associate retro to upbeat and angsty songs. So it surprises me that this was such a sad song. I love the first line of this song about the wolves, totally connected to its title. You see? Such powerful storytelling and metaphors. I love love the: ‘Four full laps around the sun…’ this is why you didn’t make it Niki. You did laps under the sun? When your power comes from the moon? *winks
Ok, eldest daughter of an asian family. This is our anthem.I believe there are two songs about generational trauma about eldest daughters in this album. This is one of them. When I heard this song, I immediately concluded that Niki is such a bitch for hitting so close to home. Barely can’t finished this song because it was too triggering.
You always find a new favorite everytime you listen to an album. And this one was my recent find. Such a good reflection of my state now. Hard to believe but I’m in my growth and forgiving era of my life. So this was just the perfect theme song for me. Such forgiving, this song.
I would put this in Generational trauma, but this is more of an adulthood problem. When life gives you so much shit and yet you always try to be nice to people. Because YOU are a good person. YOU are loved. This song just validates us growing adults. This is the sister of 24. Such a good song to close the album. Resonates to what she’s looking forward and what she learned from the past. Growth.
And that’s it. A review for Buzz. See you when Ms. Niki made it to Japan, because I would definitely put it in here. And when she releases any kind of music. Niki, I love you. Don’t stop.
2024 is the year. This is where I finally complete my Goodreads reading challenge. Just like last year I only put a very humble amount of books I will read. 6. 1 book in 2 months. That’s the time limit I am allowing myself with a book. It wasn’t supposed to be a challenge because I used to read one book a day. But with my impending and declining attention skill, it became one of the struggles I need to overcome.
So to start my reading challenge, I picked the book who’s been on my to-read list for quite a while now. Almost all of the books in that pile were there for a very long period of time. So I don’t know what I’m trying to imply here. Anyways, I finally read one of the infamous booktok: My Year of Rest and Relaxation. So here is my POV 411 on this book.
I have a physical copy of this. And it is very famous on the Booktok as I mentioned. It has a pink accent on the book spine and a renaissance type of girl on the front cover. I don’t know if that was a real renaissance painting and if that girl has a name. But it was appealing. So I added it on my to-read and chose to buy a botched copy on Shopee.
As for the contents… well, as far as I have read. It was something. My opinions on this book are very much different from what others have said. After I finished a book, and just before I put out my review. I always try to read what others have said about a book. You might think that was one of the characteristics of a people-pleaser… and yes maybe. But what I was just trying to do was get other people's perspective. My opinion and the outcome wouldn’t change, I just want to know what others have felt and what could've they done that made their opinions like that and that could've happened differently for my opinion to differ like that.
For starters,I found My Year of Rest and Relaxation, a little bit mouthful for a title. Hahahaha. And I hate every single character in that book. I know that life is supposed to be like that, but I don’t get people who get their shit together after reading this book. I don’t see the purpose. I’m not seeing the hope that they’re seeing. I do understand depression, and how complex you can be when you are depressed. I am depressed too. And I know that you are the worst version of yourself when you are a depressed person. But what I don’t understand is… How?
It came to me like it has a writing style like a diary, an account of events of a depressed girl. I didn’t find anything groundbreaking about the writing or the writing style. It actually came off boring to me in the first half. Aside from super annoying characters, which are very intentional. (see?? I got the book.) There is nothing striking to me. I didn’t even find a line which resonates with me. Which is very odd. Because I am Miss Annotation. I didn’t underline a thing in that book. But again maybe I was being biased. Or because maybe I am just turning into a literary snob. Or maybe I am looking for something different, something inspiring that would make me feel better. Which is probably the mistake I made when I read this book. I expect something. Because why on earth would I be thinking of that. This is not a self-help book. But then again, maybe it wasn’t my cup of tea anymore. Or on a brighter side, which I’m quite glad of, that I no longer relate to these kinds of books.
As I ponder more about this book, I realized that I was once a super unbearable girl like the main character (MC). But then again, one of the issues I have with this book and in life in general is that I wasn’t as privileged as her. Her kind of ‘relaxation' only happens to girls who are loaded. Or who will inherit a fuck ton of money. That kind of ‘relaxation’ won’t happen to girls who work from 8-5. Like me. And that was imprinted on me since the very first page. Although, I find myself relating to her in some circumstances especially on her mental state. I just wonder if I was given that same privilege and access to a big apartment, would things be different for me? And instead of me trying to find peace and comfort from this. I didn’t. It bothered me. Or it just made me jealous of her.
More pondering happened as the days passed as I tried to find what the others saw in this book. Separating my personal feelings/vendetta. I realized that maybe this was their companion book. Like, finding comfort from someone who's experiencing the same thing as you – companionship.
And fortunately it wasn’t mine. It made me realize that I shouldn’t be this mean to this book. Because, once again I was THE unbearable girl.
Hmm, how do I even sum up everything I said. This post has been on my drafts for way too long now. So I’ll just leave the understanding part to you. Bottom-line is that it didn't get a high rating for me.
I'm so used to not getting what I wanted and now this feels like a fever dream. (Or maybe it really was.)
I don't know how to even start this shit. I guess maybe I’ll start with the fact that I have extremely long nails and that made this whole situation uncomfortable and irritable. Yes, I am running down with 4 hrs of sleep so being irritable seems in line. The next couple of words are words that I can’t phantom to say.
I went to The Eras Tour. Yes, that tour. The Taylor concert. Yes, the girl Taylor I always babble about. The Taylor that I adored since I was….. 11?12 or maybe even younger… Yes. Ms. Taylor Swift.
It’s no shame and secret that I was a big fan of Taylor Swift. Everybody who knows me knows that I loved Taylor. Like the type of love that I am willing to go to a Federal prison. The things I would commit for her. There are a lot of times that I attempt to attend her past concerts, and all of those times.. I obviously failed. And there are many. And it’s very sad and soul wrenching that it always starts with me being hopeful and ending with me in tears. I’m pretty sure there was a point in my funny life that I completely lost my hope and accepted that I won’t be able to see her. Funny thing when constant let downs get into you.
But lo and behold. Yesterday I saw the ever beautiful Ms. Swift. Yesterday was the first day of the Tokyo leg of the most anticipated concert of Taylor: The Eras Tour. I can’t really say anything much because I was in the middle of an epiphany due to lack of sleep and PCD. So I can’t really make up words. It’s a whole struggle writing this blog post. But I figured it’s always good to start something even though you can’t finish it within the day. I just wanna get it out right away and as fresh as it is from my memory.
The concert was phenomenal. I watched her here in Japan. So the whole experience was very organized and people are calmer compared to the fans from the previous shows. So the whole concert was pleasant. It was the best. I cannot really say anything to Taylor’s production. One of the best productions. The props, the music, the lights, the visual effects and the story telling. It was the best. Of course, Taylor’s songs were undoubtedly the biggest factor why we all went to the concert. But hey can you believe how much more she put out. And she did that for almost 3 hours. The longest concert I’ve ever been to and there’s no down time. You can’t even sit down during the visuals because even those things are beautiful. You would want to see them. You are also gonna stand for the next 3 hours with her. And with that being said I really really wanna commend Taylor for that. Because the sheer stamina you need to have to be able to pull that must’ve been insane. She was right when she said that she loves what she does. Because you won’t be able to do that if you don’t. Pure love and passion and it reflects on whatever she does. That’s why I don’t understand when people say that she’s so cringey and fake. It was the complete opposite of what I’m seeing. She’s the most genuine for me. When she has a short ment where she talks to the fans, I could feel her genuine love for us. How grateful and happy she was to see the crowd. Anyways, back to the concert. It was so good. The best. The only complaints I have are more on the venue and the whole Tokyo Dome infrastructure. I’ve seen a lot of screens in other stadiums but there is only one on the stage. I just hope they add more along the areas. Also there is no confetti. And the seats are so small. It’s not spacious, especially for a concert where you should jump and dance. But again it is more of a comment on the venue, and we can’t do anything about it. If I will comment on the concert itself, I think my only complaint would be the setlist. I don’t know why and how she chooses her setlist but she should've done a fan voting for this. Like the hunger games and let the swifties start WWIII with that. But then again, maybe I just didn’t like the songs in it. Hahahaha
If you’re planning to go or just thinking if you should… You should. 100%. It is worth every penny.
And if you’re looking for tips on what to do, bring or just the 411 on the Eras tour. Sure, take your pens and notes ‘coz I have a few of those.
If you’re in a costume I just hope it was comfortable and manageable. This is a concert where you dance and sing and jump. So if you’re a person who can’t jump in heels don't even think of wearing one. If you can, then GO. I did wear a pair of platform boots and my feet didn't hurt with all the standing and walking and running and jumping and dancing and sprinting I did. Have a good outfit and the best shoes.
Bring a big BAG. Unless it is stated that you can’t. Make use of the allowed space(for your bag) because you would want one. I did bring a classic Chanel bag and it sucks. I wish I brought a tote bag with me so I can put all the unnecessary things I won't use. Plus you need to put your merch and your friendship bracelets. You really need to have a big bag. Or an extra bag if you’re allowed to.
This is more of a general tip, but don’t put LONG press-on nails. I did and it almost ruined my day. I can’t text properly, get something out from my bag and it is hard for me to film because of those stupid nails.
Water. Drink water. Finish your water before you enter the stadium because they don’t allow outside drinks.
This is gonna be contradicting but don’t drink too much water. Just enough to make you hydrated the whole 3 hours. Again, it was 3 hours long. Peeing is very risky. You might miss your favorite song.
Hope for a good seatmate buddy. I did have and it was the best experience. We are all jumping and exchanging bracelets. And taking pictures and videos.
Just sing your heart out. Dance till your knees give out. Instead of filming the whole concert. It would be blurry anyways. Plus there are other people who have better footage. Take a few for the grams but the rest I suggest you don’t. Just be in the moment. That’s what I did and it was so magical. I still feel like I'm on cloud 9.
This is a dream come true for me. Things haven’t sunk into me yet. Everything was still so blurry and unbelievable for me. I think the next step for me was to jump from the brink of depression. With this too much high and happiness, I can’t wait for my serotonin, dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and all the hormones responsible for happiness to die down. I know it would be a terrible week after this. I’ll be insufferably annoying because you bet that I will be grumpy and sad. If you wanna see my photos from the tour you have to be following me on Instagram. If you want to, my handle is @arasawano. I'll spare you one:
Anyway, another goal was checked from my bucket list. Woohooo!
I am never a proud woman. I am not a stupid person who takes pride in the things I’m good at. I was raised to be humble. Except for this one time. I firmly believe that I am such a good title-maker. Or making captions in general. (Although it wouldn’t be visible on my IG captions. You should read until the end so I can prove to you how good I am.) I could get paid for this, you know. Not sure who and what kind of idiot would be needing, especially paying for this service but this is some good shit.
In case you didn’t notice. Shame on you. I was revamping and moving this blog and my old private blog around. I made a minor change to this blog. Guess what changes I do? It was my URL, you silly!! This was the URL from my private blog. And now I’m using it here. Ara is bored is the title of my main blog. Now my private blog is the ‘arasawano’ blog. So, as I was changing things, I looked from my private blog, and boy oh boy. Didn’t I have a good laugh? My title for some of my posts was comedic gold. I mean it is to me because it was written by me, to me, for me. So yeah fuck you if you think I’m corny. Let me hear you crack one joke. We'll see who’s the dull one here.
Also, if you open my arasawano blog… it’s password protected. The things said there were…. Let’s just say I am not ready to share it with the world yet. So don’t even attempt to open it. It would probably crack you up more. But as of this moment, the titles are the only ones I could share with you.
To give you an in-depth context about this. Here are some of the titles I post there. With my attempt of explaining them for you.
Oh this is the time where I got a new computer set up. And I am typing on my new keyboard. If you could hear the sound that my new keyboard makes. You will understand. Mind you, my blog post was hella long too. So imagine my satisfaction while typing that shit. A little TMI, I wasn’t able to use that keyboard now. Before it was just inconvenient and NOW now, it just won’t connect properly to my laptop.
I am standing with this statement. Every time good things happen to me I always have to be on alert whether these things are just preparing me for something worse that will happen.
I still am. But somehow I managed to let some light in and make my work more bearable than those times. People are right when they say, things takes time. It wasn’t the best but it wasn’t the worst either.
This is the time where I got a new blender. Ahhh the times where I am pretending to be a good home owner. The fucking word play here. Eminem vs. Ara, when?
The next posts were some posts you really need context for:
I am such a skeptical girlie. See, I told you. Too many bad things happened to me that when good things occur instead of enjoying the moment, I am terrified. And as far as my good old memory can remember, this is the moment when those bad things happened. I was having a good week and BOOM! Fucking the worst week of my life. And sometimes those bad things didn’t come in big waves but were scattered throughout my week. Life just won’t give me a break.
This post(above) were two consecutive posts. And I think you’ll get what I felt and meant by it at this point.
The next posts are…. I don’t even know what the hell I’m talking about.
As I’m reading this I’m checking if my undershirt was actually peeping thru. It’s not.
I… I don’t…. I… ??
Okay I still stand by this. Because that is not the life I won’t choose. Don’t mind my grammar errors. That was supposed to be my personal blog. I do check them from time to time but I think when I type something personal for that blog I am just a little bit more careless with these. So yeah, I don’t care and please don’t mind them.
I can’t fucking think of anything clever for this post. Which is very ironic because it is about gassing me up and how good I am at making posts. Maybe my talent was not here anymore. Or maybe this was clever enough. Who knows.
The talk of the town. Because of Jacob Elordi's bath water.
Here’s my first movie review of 2024. Despite the fact that I watched it in the last days of 2023.
Girl, let me tell you that it was something. It was a trip. I enjoyed it. Even the nasty scenes that you guys are talking about. It was horrid, yes. Nonetheless it was a scene. In fact I thought it was vital to the MC’s character build up. Let me get this out of the way, I don’t LOVE that scene. But would I be disappointed if it was removed? No. Would I be happy if it was removed? No, too. It is there. And sure. It’s there. Is it vital for the character? Sure. Was it disgusting? Yes. It is a scene. And that's it.
There are many things that I like about this film. It was fun in a sense. The cinematography is very good. I love how the camera pans and how it shows and it doesn’t show things. It was very intentional. I love the camera angles and framing. The opening title was so unique and beautiful. I also love the music used in this film. I love the symbolisms and easter eggs spread throughout this film. The combination of camera work and the symbolism is one of the most distinct combinations that you can see throughout this film. You can’t deny that this film was intended to be beautiful. Shouldn’t all films be intentionally beautiful? Also I love the costume. Literally the costumes at the costume party at one specific scene in the third act. It’s cute.
The actors are also something of a choice. I remember watching one of Trin’s reaction videos about this film where she said: 'if you ever thought of me being a perfect fit for the role of a twink psychopath… I would be offended.' And that’s the truth. But I can’t also picture anyone else playing Oliver. I can’t even imagine Timothy being Oliver, even though he was the first choice. The actor who plays Farleigh is also good. I would love to hear him sing the uncut version of that karaoke song. Rosamund Pike was undoubtedly a good actress. Venetia’s actress was also good. Although, I haven’t watched any of her past work. And of course, the white boy of the month, Jacob Elordi. I mean… whatever. Never get the hype around him but I heard he’s good in Precisilla. He had such an interesting filmography. And also a good actor. The cast that I was most surprised about was Aemond’s actor. Like holy shit. Not that he wasn’t good. HOTD memories are still very fresh to me so every time he popped up into the scene IJBOL.
Okay, so did I list the things I love about this film? Now let’s get into the things I don’t like about this film.
What I hated about this was the ending. It was very confusing for me. Not because I was stupid. Or the film doesn’t give us enough to be able to understand it. Actually, I felt like it gave almost all of it. It does the thinking for you. And yet, even with that sentiment, I was left unsatisfied with the way things ended. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ending scene where Oliver dances with his shonglong out and about. For sure. That camera work alone was the cherry on top. But there’s a difference between liking the scene and not liking the ending. And I know you’re probably like: ‘We know, Ara. We’re not stupid. You don’t have to micro-explain everything to us.’ And that’s exactly what the movie did to me. See what I did there?
I don’t like the ending at all. I think it tries to be something it wasn’t established at first or what they try to market it as. Since the movie explains itself especially in the first two acts. It is so obvious that he’s an obsessed person. And I hope they just frame it that way. Not eat the rich kind of movie because if they want it to be that way they should establish that from the start. He is not the ‘eat the rich’ type of MC. He’s just a twink and extreme version of Joe from you. Sure, he wanted to ascend from the slums but it wasn’t his main drive. It’s just a desire. He is obsessed with Felix. And I hope they bite that part until the end. For a movie that doesn’t let you think about anything, it sure does leave a good amount of Whys for its viewers. And with so much explaining shown, why do we still need to question things? If that’s the thing. Isn’t that a problem with the story telling?
Maybe I just have high expectations with movies. But come on, I love stupid movies. The movie is fun, if it is fun to me. I’m not afraid to go against the public opinion. But when films like Parasite existed. And you try to somewhat follow or emulate that film’s theme. Shouldn’t we put more effort into our work? I don’t know, just my thoughts.
If you made it to this part. Might as well follow me on my Letterboxd. I share most of my unsolicited opinions in a shorter paragraphs about film there. HERE!
Holy shxt! I can't believe I actually made it out of another year of b*llshits... Seriously though, it was a very nonchalant year for me. I mean it was exciting in a few parts but most of the time I was just surviving. And to be real with you it's not bad. Just vibing and trying to get through was a good thing to achieve for a year. One of the biggest factors why I made it through last year was because of my planning ability. I mean, it was the only gasoline that was keeping me alive. Then BOOM, I upgraded my set-up. That's when things started drastically changing. GoodNotes, I love you. I wanted to share my planner set up but I guess that will be added to my blog-idea-pile.
There were a lot of ups and downs last year but just like what I said. It was a fine year. Just to fill my New-year-new-me vibe. I wanted to post my year-end reflection for 2023. I've been gearing up for this post since December last year but it's so hard for me to fill up because I wasn't in the mood for reflecting. But I immediately finished it this very moment because I've been hopeful and in a good vibe since the start of the year. I know it will fade as the days pass by, but I have a good feeling for this year.
I wanna do a top 10 list for music because that's what I always do here aparently(I just won't shut up about music). But I'll only try to make it until this month. So if you don't see my post for that this month. I probably decided not to make it at all. There are so many things I wanna post lol. But let's be hopeful, it's 2024.
Back to the topic, I digitally ripped this image off from my planner last year. I think I will do this next year as well. The girls are right, the placebo is working. Gratitude pages help. It really made me feel good about myself. I feel grateful, motivated, and dare I say hopeful? That's new for someone who is suicidal. So trust me when I say it works. If you're feeling stuck again. Try journaling. I know it's a pain sometimes. But it really does its job. Just start filling in things you feel like writing. Skip those you don't like. My greatest tip for journaling or doing gratitude pages is to just do what you feel at the moment. If this is what you can only do, then so be it. It would make you feel so much better. Please don't feel pressure on mundane things like this. Omg, we're stirring off on another topic. But since we're in the area I just want to share it with you. (Or I wanted to remind my future me of what I felt during this time because no one is reading this anyway!)
Anyway, here's my 2023 year-end reflection. Hope it inspires you to look forward and do the same thing for next year. Or you can still make one it's not too late!
This year is the year of music on my blog. Because I literally post only about music. Well just to change that. Today I will tell you about my unsolicited list of my favorite TV shows. A.K.A. the greatest shows of all time.
Posting about ranking or lists is not a very easy task. It needs a lot of time and effort especially for a film/TV show. And motion pictures are a very broad category. There’re a lot of genres out there and it’s hard to rank them because there are a lot of factors for different categories to consider. Hence the simplicity of this list. It’s not a rank but just a list of my favorite shows.
The only factor that I consider in making this list is: Likeliness. Just as simple as: ‘How much I like them’. Which means how often I did a rewatch on them, how often I tweet about them, how often I searched for the hashtag just to see what the public’s opinion about it. In short, how obsessed I am. This is not to offend the tv show bros.™ out there… So if you didn’t see Game of Thrones on the list, that doesn’t mean that GoT is not a great show, in fact I like it so much that I am willing to take someone's life just for the last season to be changed. But hey, this is what I want. If you don’t agree then you can make your own Greatest-Show-of-all-time list.This is my attempt of trying to make this brief. For I am planning to make a separate, more in-depth review of some of the shows listed below. *take a deep breath* *sigh* Let’s go.
Modern Family.
Is there anything more I need to say? I think this was the peak of television. A real comedy show where you just love each character equally. Even though there are some problematic things about it. It is not comparable to what other problematic things other shows have done. And this is the real Family Show. They love each other down, whether they're on a roll or off-cam. And that reflects on the show. I think that’s why it’s so genuine and warm.
I’ve decided to make a separate post about this show because it's so good it needs full attention.
Favorite Character? Gloria and Alex.
What do I hate about it? Homophobic and Racist remarks from Jay, Phil-Claire’s relationship towards Alex, Hailey’s demise and Manny’s shadowed character.
Favorite Episode? All of it. There’s no episode where I didn’t chuckle. There are also a lot of times that I even cry and that’s saying something.
Parks and Recreation
I was a ‘The Office’ girl down!!! I thought it was the best thing until I watched Parks and Recreation. Fuck I even bought a Parks and Rec DVD set. It has one of the best well-written couples on Television. I’m looking at you, Leslie, and Ben. And you know me. I love a strong, independent protagonist. It is so well written that each character's progress is just unbelievably perfect.
Favorite Character? Leslie. April. Donna.
What I hate about it? Leslie losing the election. Which is just more of me being a sore loser. I don’t want my girl losing you know. Chris Taeger. Saperstein Twins and Bobby Newport.
Favorite Episode? The Fight, especially one of the scenes where they were being interviewed while drunk. If you don’t have a recollection of this episode it is the release of Snake Juice. Hunting trip. My favorite was Ron was shot and Donna’s Mercedes was jacked. LOL
The Office
Its a classic. And well deserved one. When I told you about the problematic things a TV show does. This is it. You'll see the obvious ones in the first couple of episodes and would probably say: ‘Hey that’s not kinda okay’ but you’ll let it slip because it was hidden in some passive aggressive tone. But there are some jokes where as the time goes by you’ll only slowly realize just now how there is a slight misogynist/other undertones. It’s not just ‘Hey it was kinda not okay.’ But more of a ‘OMG that was not okay’. But the transformation and the character growth of Michael Scott is one of the biggest clutch moments you'll ever see in TV history. That needs to be studied. This used to be my favorite TV Show. But as I watched more well-written comedy shows, I realized how sometimes, people over hyped this show for what it is. It is still a great show. But the two mentioned above were miles better and deserve the same recognition this show gets and still receiving.
Favorite Character? Pam and Dwight.
What do I hate about it? A lot. Jim in the last season. Michael in the first episode. Angela when he tries to juggle two men.
Favorite Episode? The bat episode. And the legendary Fire Drill episode. ‘Stanley! Barack is president. Barack is black, Stanley!’
Brooklyn 99
The start of my Adam Sandberg obsession. His character had a lot of green flags. And the story was so cute and funny. Also, one of the greatest TV couples out there. (Jake Peralta and Amy Santiago) It is very wholesome and smart. The characters themselves and their story build-up. Enemies to lovers, done right!
Favorite Character? Amy Santiago. Jake Peralta. (Such a green flag guy.)
What do I hate about it? The police propaganda. What more can I say? Stop this, America.
Favorite episode? All the Halloween episodes where they have a little contest. Especially when Jake proposes to Amy.
Gossip Girl
The epitome show. The blueprint. I don’t care how toxic you say this was. Or how bad it is for the recent youth. It is what it is. And yes I love Chuck and Blair. But I like Blair better. She’s the Queen. I love the fashion in the show and the pretty girls and the dresses they wear. And might I say, Blair runs this show. It’s so epic where she actually bagged a prince. And I think that would be such a great ending for her character but of course, they have to make it complicated and make a character bad for the sake of another few seasons. But I don’t mind it. The show was still good after that. Serena is such a… BLEUGH. Hate that girl down. Raised me as a bad bitch I am.
Favorite Character? Blair. DUH.
What do I hate about it? Serena. And lily and her ways with Serena. The fucking pedophilia/ grooming that somehow we bat an eye on.
Favorite Episode?
- Where Blair is doing the Waldorf designs.
- I loved it back when they were in Constance. Gossip girl makes such sense in that setting. Basically when they’re in school.
- I also love the Blair takedowns. Legendary.
- The Hamptons episodes were okay.
- Blair’s wedding (both with Louie and with Chuck)
While you were sleeping.
Top 2 best K-drama of all time and she ain’t number 2. I never liked Suzy but this drama made me a fan of her. I love love loooove the story and the lore and the connections and flashbacks and all of it. It’s perfect and I don’t think I’ll ever love a drama like this ever again. The chemistry of the main two leads is amazing and also with the second-lead. Jung Hae In, come here baby let me love you instead. I love the sub-stories and how it connects to the main plot. It’s sooo good. Peak of K-Drama. Like OHHH don’t even get me started with the cinematography. It’s funny, it’s romantic, exciting, mysterious, dramatic… all of the feelings you'll feel in this drama.
Favorite Character? Nam Ho-Joo. My girl is the key to everything. She’s it. I also like Lee Jong Suk’s brother and of course Jung Hae In. I love the mother, the police officer and of course Jung Suk’s character. I’m telling you the cast ate.
Favorite Episode? All of it. I don’t know what to say.
What I hate about it? Hmmm… actually I lied. There is one episode that I hate… it is when Nam HoJoo’s mother hated JaeChan all of a sudden. And the reason is just absurd to me. Maybe it’s just me and the way I see things differently or because I wasn’t a mother yet. But come on, that reason is so stupid. But I guess they have to stop having breakfast there at some point. I mean if that’s the reason, PD-nim, you should’ve just made them stop. You don’t need that drama.
Hospital Playlist.
One of the best K-dramas and the most comforting K-drama. I don’t know about you but this drama is home. Just like While you were sleeping, I think these kinds of dramas are so authentic that replicating something like this would be very hard to do. It’s so popular that even doctors watch it in Korea and make commentary about it. I love the relationship of the characters from the main ones to their respective love interest to other side characters. The whole hospital setting wasn’t just the focus but the actual life and struggle of the medical people. It’s really well written. There’s no antagonist, just people and life. I love that there is no power struggle between the supposed owner of the hospital and the appointed CEO, and they actually become more close. And probably lovers…
Favorite Character? Kim Jun Wan, Lee Ikjun. They are all loveable but I think I fell more connected and fell in love in general with each of their characters.
Favorite Episode? The one where Ikjun cracked the egg in Junwan’s head, comedy gold. All of them are good actually. ALL OF IT!
What I hate about it? The age gap between the love interest. Like…. Aren’t they just Attending and Professors? It’s probably not that big of a deal but if you really pick every bone in this drama I would say this is what irks me.
Descendants of The Sun
I mean it is the OG. Opened the doors of K-Drama real wide. It’s not the first big K-Drama hit in the PH but it’s like the start of the Korean wave in the Philippines. Everyone is obsessed and so am I. And not putting this on the list would just be wrong. So wrong. I still rewatch this from time to time and try to ignore the fact that they are not together anymore. Or the fact that I hate Song Jong Ki now. I love the story. The acting and the cinematography. This drama shows you what a real budget is. Sure some dramas have a bigger production than this but this is a real budget put to use. Can’t even comment on the acting because it’s SHK. I don’t know about SJK but SHK and the rest ate.
Favorite character? Kang Mo yeon. Yoon MyeongJu. I mean the girls. The girls carry this drama. (The girls and a few men, not you SJK.)
Favorite episode? The earthquake. The diamonds. (Although some of the injuries are very similar and inspired by Gray’s anatomy. We close our eyes.)
What I hate about it? The Hospital director… and that one stupid doctor. I also don’t understand when Onew’s character went over dramatic just because he ran away during an aftershock, and when a survivor got mad at him for not helping him. Sir, a doctor's life should be prioritized because if he went superhero on you there are more lives that will be lost. I think him being affected by some teenager/worker’s opinion is just so…. unprofesh.
Hometown ChaCha
A very hometown vibe, also made one of the comforting KDrama that existed. So……… good. I love it’s cinematography. The characters, their involvement in each other’s lives and their very own backstory, their growth and their ending in general. It’s so rare to have a happy-good Kdrama. I feel like most of the dramas lately made their ending so heavy and open ended that it will keep you up at night. But sometimes people just need a breather and a happy ending. And this is exactly what it is. A feel-good Kdrama through and through. Plus the two leads are good looking so it’s a no brainer that this KDrama is so popular. Shin MinAh did well, and her fashion, unlike the mass’ opinion. Is good. I looooove it. Made me want to buy a Silver Vivier but since it’s so expensive. Just settled for a simple silver mary janes for a while.
Favorite Character? The best friend. And of course Ms. Dentist.
What do I hate about it? The last episodes where one of the leads where he has a conflict with his past. That it’s not even his fault. Like why would you…. I think that is unnecessary. But I guess we need it for the drama.
Favorite Episode? I’m sorry. You might find it as a cliche, but everything. All of it.
Tempted (i know..)
Going against the public is something I always do. I know. At this point might as well call it a kink. Because holy shit. This drama was hated by the public. I don’t understand how the public would collectively enjoy True Beauty and yet hate this show. For me they are in the same tier. Or maybe I’m just butthurt because you all ganged up to bash Joy’s acting when she’s not the problem. It’s the script. And there I said it, that this was a mess top to bottom. But this is a chaos I want to be part of.
Favorite Character? Joy’s character. Hands down. All of them. I mean literally all of the characters are bad people who don't need to hang out together. Even the adults, they’re worse. Only Joy’s character was likable and Joy understood her well. Let me just add my 2 cents again, you can be a bad-willed person in the show and yet you could be the greatest character from the show as well. But this show has two things; bad characters that are badly written as well. It’s not winning at all. Only Joy’s character made sense and kept making sense throughout the show and somewhat she was shitted on for playing it really well. Also the rest of the cast bullied Joy so those people’s days are numbered. I’m looking at you Moon Gayoung and Woo Dohwan. Kung magsyota man kayo please wag kayo mambully ng ibang cast member. Di naman kayo magaganda’t gwapo. PWE!
What do I hate about it? A lot. So why do you even include this on this list? To give you an answer to the latter question, is because I looooved the angst. I love the push and pull and the cat and mouse chase. And a lot of you said that she doesn’t have chemistry with Woo DoHwan. It’s just that the guy has more chemistry with Gayoung (because naglalandian sila). But to give you an answer to the initial question. I hate how messy it is. How badly written, especially the adult’s character. If you’re a feminist this is somewhat the opposite of what you’re fighting for. Like how can you be a mother and not care about your kid because you wanted to be with your first love. I get it. Yay career woman but holy fuck…. You literally and completely disregard your daughter. And also everyone in this drama was selfish. They’re not exactly what they say they are. If you’re really a friend you should let him be with someone he loves.
Favorite Episode? Girl, after all the trashing I did. You might be surprised that I have a favorite episode from this show. I love the first couple of episodes. I know it’s all part of the plan but I find it very cute. I told you I like push and pull. Cat and mouse chase, duh.
My Mister.
Now let’s get back to the real K-Drama grind. I remember watching while I’m also at the lowest point of my life. And let me tell you go straight to my bones and through my stomach. My guts flipped, my eyes were swollen. Completely sobbing. Ugly crying. This is a real drama. If you want your consumer to feel devastated. You should do a drama like this. Not because you want them to be devastated just because you want people to be. Give them more. Give them something to really sob for. The actors are acting, all of them. They are well written. And all of them have a good ending.
Favorite Character? IU’s character. The CEO.
What do I hate about it? I know that this needs to be more slow-phase but this is a little slow phase for me. I didn’t totally hate it but I hate the silence. Because it’s really triggering to me. I think it is more of my fault. The silence was really good. I just fucking hate how it affects me. It probably means that it does its job right?
Favorite Episode? Okay, don’t get me wrong with this one. But my favorite was when her grandmother died. I know I should’ve not said that but it is. That episode is the most heart-wrenching piece of media I watched in my life. A real masterpiece.
Skam (Norway and Texas)
Living through Google Drive links. If you know, you know. And if you have lived that era you need compensation somehow. Skam is a show about teenagers' real life and problems. There are a lot of charming points of that show but there are a lot of things that will make your eyebrow raise! Arrah didn’t we have a show like that? It’s called SKINS. Aren’t they just a copycat? Yes, somehow but this show is like the 20th century version. More ‘Now’ problems. Not that the ‘before’ problems weren't the problem anymore. They still are. IT’s just there are new ones. And yes, just when you guys are lowering your guns, I put Skam-Austin here. And that's just the truth. For the first time in my life I would admit that the white people did something… nice.
Favorite Character? Noora. I love a well-read girl.
What do I hate about it? The part in Skam-OG Season 4 where Noora has to get all the boys and none for the main girl for that season. I also hate the fact that it somehow made her the main character not the girl that is supposed to be the main character.
Favorite Episode? The party where Noora told William he’s selfish….. And when William gets out of the car with his boys after his date with Noora being all beaten up. That Kanye song and the wind did all the work. Fucking masterpiece.
The Haunting of Hill House
I am a weird girl. I am a cool girl…. (Gone girl monologue). My comfort show is a horror show. No, but for real. TV history was made after this show was released. There are articles written about this. I can’t lie about this show because it is out there. And if you don’t buy all the shit that I will say about this show…. 1. Why the hell are you deep down to this post?, and 2. Go see it for yourself. THERE ARE ARTICLES.
I can’t believe that a horror show would give me such comfort. I was a scaredy-girl. I do get scared a lot but I don’t mind it. And this… it’s just beautiful. Like while you were sleeping. The connections of everything from the flashback to the present time are just mind-boggling. It’s so well made, it’s criticism proof. I love the symbolism and little Easter eggs hidden in each scene. I love the attention to detail through the script and props. Can’t you believe it? If all filmmakers would just have the same attention to details we could’ve enjoyed the media to the fullest.
Favorite Character? Eleonor and Little Eleonor. I also love the Neck-bent lady. *wink*
What do I hate about it? Nothing. I love every single episode of it. Oh I hate Steven. Boy you’re the one with the third eye, open it.
Favorite Episode?
The funeral episode. That 360 shot was something. And I think that was the one that imprint Haunting of Hill House as one of the greatest shows.
Queen's Gambit
Oh look at that. We finally made it to the end. I never thought we'd be able to make it this far but here we are. Look at us. If you made it through this post holy fuck let me kiss you. You must’ve been interested in me. And I appreciate it.
So, for this show. Is there anything left I have to say for this one? And the answer is YES. This show just woke up all the fashion desires I have in my body. And it’s not even a fashion related show. It’s about chess. But that's just one of the many things that you can commend in this show.
Beth’s growth, not only on a personal level but her relationship with others. How she started alone but ended up being surrounded by many people who loves and adores her is just *chef kiss*. The motherly love shown by her adoptive mother was so good. Can I just say how good it was? It was one of fewest adoptive mother-daughter relationships that has a very good outcome. There is no grudge and abuse (which happens a lot in a show where a mother adopts someone) Just mutual respect that eventually turns to love. Among all the relationships Beth has in that show I think her love for her step mother was the most significant and the most impactful. Of course her love for chess was the main plot and the reason for this show. But her love for her mother and desire for affection was the gasoline that moves the whole show. I also love how the show portrays vices like alcoholism, cigarettes and drugs and yet oit was still a graceful show. It was done tastefully. But most importantly I love the fact that a girl like her keeps battling in a world played by a lot of men. Such a classy show.
Favorite Character? Beth. Obvi.
What do I hate about it? The age gap between all of his opposite sex romantic interests. What the fuck was that?
Favorite Episode? I just love seeing Beth’s transformation. I will say those episodes where she shops or where she is dressed beautifully. The final white outfit….. LOVE.
Wow. Wow. We’ve finally made it. The end.
Would it be funny if I just stop writing here without having a closing remark because I’m tired and writing this whole piece drains helluva brain juices I have. Very funny.
In this lovely post, I will be reviewing the new album of a filipino artist Juan Karlos. I am not new in digesting albums as I’m a self-proclaimed music connoisseur. But what’s refreshing for this post was that it was from a Filipino artist. For the record, I always loved OPM. I love classic OPMS. I grew up, WE all grew up listening to them. But I just have never really dug into the deep. Album per album. Music industry in the Philippines was very different. The last thing a Filipino does is to support a Filipino music artist unless they’re colonized by the west or the artist got famous in the west. Everything was all about the west. But then things changed in the past decade. Which is a good thing. People started appreciating OPM again. I only have vivid memories of how OPM started. I’m not saying that OPM was not loved before. It always has been. But the younglings started loving it again when IV Of Spades released mundo. Then Juan Karlos’ Buwan followed. That’s when they all started catching the youth's and even not so youthful people’s attention.
JK’s music entries to Ara’s Music chart wasn't always consistent but it’s not always a miss. I also disregard his somewhat homophobic remarks to Darren Espato. (if you know what happened there please tell me.) because I have no idea of what happened to them. My whole opinion and fondness for him is based on his music.
I am not new to JK’s music. I LOVE BUWAN and all its parts. (Wow) I love the Kundiman version of it even more. After he released buwan, and when it went viral. People just kept asking for more bangers and karaoke hits. He kept on giving but we almost believed that there would be no other hit that was going to be made. Shot puno happened which did well but never really peaked in my top 5. A few months later, ERE came. And she cooked, ate and washed the dishes.
When the song came out it was the perfect song for my situation. One of the biggest factors of charting in my personal music chart was always based on my mood. If I’m too happy or if I’m too sad. You wouldn't be on my top 10 no matter how many people like it or how heart breaking your song was. Safe to say she checks all the boxes.
Spoiler alert! Ere wasn’t my favorite in the album. It was my bias wrecker (lol for fuck sake my vocabulary is so 12 years old) from time to time but it wasn’t my favorite. It was paru-paro. You know me and my metaphors and similes and hyperboles. If you have those you got me, and I think Paru-paro hits all of it. Let’s get on to it for a little while. Also, I know I told you I was reviewing the whole album. Another spoiler alert…… I won’t be reviewing all the songs. So technically it was a half-album review or… maybe just my favorites. But still…. It is what I call it.
Let’s start with the album opener.
Track 1: Sad songs and bullshits. Which was the title of the album. The song was also registered as Sad songs and b******t. On a side note, it was very funny when it appeared on my car.
The apostrophes are taking me out. Hahaha.
Right off the bat, I think it's very smart and funny. And very straight to the point. A simple title that describes the album as it is.That's what exactly his album was. Sad songs and some other bullshit drama he has. And I might say, a good song opener. I like the parts where he encourages everyone to join him in his journey and to cry with him. Engaging with your listeners in a song is such a good song.
Track 2, would be the ever famous, ERE.
I think what caught people’s attention was how sharp and bold the song was. It was very unusual for a Filipino song to actually include curse words. It’s a lot of risk as well because we all know how conservative a Filipino household was. So for this song to go viral let alone to be played in a house with you lola or mom listening? was truly a history. ICONIC. I noticed on some or most of JK’s songs is that he’s not afraid to utilize the silence. When you ask people what caught their attention in a JK song, it’s that he’s screaming or he’s belting, which is true, if he’s performing or when we reach the chorus or the bridge or the melody, which obviously are all true and good points. But what I noticed is the eeriness or the calm before the storm. It’s always calm on the start like he really wanted to tell you a story in a manner where it’s like he’s telling it to YOU. And only after he finishes that, that’s when the loudness and craziness comes in. And I love that about his music. It’s very expressive in that way.
This song might be very catchy because of the use of words, specifically the curse word. But what the palaman of this song was really the story and the whole heart poured to a girl who hurt him.
Track 3, may halaga pa ba ako sayo?
This is what I’m talking about when I say he’s not afraid of the silence. Although this is not my favorite track. This supports what I said earlier about the eeriness.
If you like Track 4, close your eyes because I’m skipping it.
Track 5, Paruparo.
My favorite out of all the songs in that album. I think I resonate the best with this song. It’s such a let go and be-happy song. So comforting. And I might add… the words. The rhyming… just *chef’s kiss* When I listened to that song, after hearing the lines: “Kasing haba ba ng buong buhay ng isang.. Paruparo, paruparo, paruparo, paruparo” I immediately searched how long does a butterfly live. Look at that! JK teaching us some biology… who would’ve thought?
The metaphors and personification and such are the main reason why I was captivated by this song. I just think it was really smart of him to compare the butterfly’s life to the span of their relationship. Such a smart way of comparing something and how brief they are. I also like how he rhymes the word Paru-paro, the title of the song, to some lyrics of the song(wow, arrah thats basically what songwriting is)For instance:
‘Paano na tayong dalawa? Pa-paano, pa-paano, pa-paano, pa-paano’ , ‘Masakit man ang katotohanan na ako'y 'di
Para sa'yo, para sa'yo, para sa'yo, para sa'yo’, ‘Ayokong maging hadlang sa pagkamit ng mga
Pangarap mo sa buhay, aking sinta’
It won’t make sense if you haven’t listened to the song.
I also think that this song resonates the most with me. Or how I’m trying to be. Or what I wanted to say to someone who is not in my life anymore.
Track 6: Gabi (ft. Zild)
I love this song. Such a comforting song. Also good when you play it while driving. Bad thing if you’re sleepy.
A song where two friends are drinking, and just talking about their breakups and life in general. Reminds me of Filipino walwalan days. If you’re pinoy, you know that kahit anong mangyari, shot lang katapat. Break-up? Tara inom. Lose a job? Tara inom. Masanggi lang, tara inom agad yan for sure. And this song reminds me so much of those times with my friends. Not the inuman part because we really don’t drink much. Me and my friends are not the drinker type of group. But the friendship and the presence of having them. We’re all far away from each other now. And this kind of song makes me hope that I was with them or wish I can see them if I’m having a hard time. This song will hit you if you have a solid friendship.
I like Zild’s verse and voice. So calming. I also like how he rhymes everything. I know it’s basic songwriting but I wanna give them their cookies. They deserve it. The harmonization at the end is AMAZING! You can clearly hear both of their trademark, although I think this is more of a Zild kind of production. But I won’t know, I’m not an expert. And I’m not with them when they record this.
Track 7: Time Machine
I thought it was a sweet song because of the harmony and how upbeat it was compared to the other songs. But when the chorus hits, it turns out to be a sad song. A guy who reminisces about his past relationship and how he wishes he could turn back the time. Hence, the title: Time machine. I like the part that goes: ‘At tayo'y la-la-la-la-lalamigin’ I think that’s very JK. Very on brand. Just a little harot on the side. A lovely song.
The rest of the songs are getting skipped. Sorry. It’s just not my vibe and I don’t think I will form an opinion on something I care about a little. (Not in a mean way. All of his songs are good. And I will listen to them while I’m driving. I just prefer these songs over the rest. And I hope that you understand my stand. If you’re a JK fan, and you love all of these, GOOD for you. And if you’re JK who miraculously ends up reading my post. JK, I love this album. I can’t wait for what you will offer us next.)
And that concludes my review. Overall if I will rate this album, I will give it a 4 out of 5. I can’t wait for more JK albums in the future. I am really happy about the success of OPM these days. It’s about time. I hope this album or JK won't be the last OPM artist I will write about.
There is too much pressure after writing that Niki piece. My brain can only handle much.
It’s always like this, the feeling of being unwary but at the same time unsure when I first write something for a long time. We are not new to a long hiatus. And definitely not new to this kind of pattern. It actually becomes uncanny when I post often. So how’s everybody doing?
I am writing because I’m avoiding work again and I have time to kill. Well, life is still the same here. Busy and sometimes I still don’t have enough time to do things here at work and yet here I am killing my time with my nonsense blog. Why would I prepare for the things I need to do in the future with the time I have today? That’s one of the wonders of my life as well. And what’s funny is no one probably cares what I write here but when you actually checked me out and found out this cute blog or simply just found this by accident. I would like to say thank you.
My life has been (it always was) chaotic. Family moved back here in our hometown. (Is it still called hometown if they moved back here?) The first few months of April was busy unpacking and it actually last until the first few weeks of May. I have been driving to work now. Which is a gift and a curse at the same time. A gift considering and comparing the time I woke up now and before. (From 5am to 6am.) And a curse with the amount of maintenance and bills you pay when you use a car on a daily basis.
I impulsively bought an iPad and wow. It is a fucking life changer. The girls on tiktok are not lying when they say it was their life. I use it mainly as my planner and some PPT work here and there. And it was AMAZING. I wanna share here how I use my planner and what template I use for those. Probably on the next post. I wanna boast to all of you that I actually make my own template. So if you find that ugly, let’s keep it to ourselves.
No updates on love life. I wanted to but it is still dry AF. Although relations at work have improved a little compared to what I had last year. I am enjoying the bliss of having my mom around. But also living the pain and endless responsibility of having my sister. But when good things happen, for instance when she plays a clarinet in front of her school, I feel somewhat fulfilled as if I’m the one who performed and blew that thing. All of the mornings during Saturdays, (which I plan to rest) dropping her for her practice was all paid off.
I also enjoy dressing up these days. There were days before that I did love dressing up. Then it died down because I got bored and there was no one to impress. But hey, new people came to my workplace and I started making myself pretty again. What's funny is there is a competition now here. But still now digits from my crush. So what is the point really?
I am not new in my work and now really getting the hang of it. Actually I shouldn’t be saying that I am getting the hang of it when I’ve been around the block. I live in the block. Not to spoil my temporary seventh heaven, but I’m getting bored.
There are unfortunate things that happened but why would I share it with you? I won’t let you know the places I am wounded and you won’t see me bleed. Or in this case you will not know I’m bleeding. I cannot say that I have a lot in store for you but I have some things kept on my sleeve.
That's it for the Ara mini-update.
I will try to post something but wouldn't that be an out of character thing for me? hehe.
Oh this is bad. 2 consecutive posts about NIKI, har har.
In my last post, I said that I hadn’t decided what would be my last song for my Top 5 song from Niki’s album, NICOLE. I’ve also made known on that post that I didn’t like the album that much. But lo and behold, I was wrong. You see, right after I made that post. I immediately got hooked and thought I made a decision about which track would fit on that missing spot. It turns out to be the most relatable song as of the moment which makes another hoo-ha moment that I think it might also make it to my best Niki song list of all time. And I wanna digest the lyrics of it. (Even though it was pretty self-explanatory if you ask me. I just want to make it legit by writing a post about it.)
If you don’t speak French (like me) then you probably won't get the jazz of the title. And if you do speak the lovely language, then you probably know what the song is about. It’s Autumn, the 9th track of the album. When I heard it first, I hated it. It started weirdly for me, but I guess I’m just not in an analytic mode for me to appreciate such a masterpiece. I talked about it like it was such a complicated song, where in fact it explains itself while listening to it. It wasn’t really complicated. It was late to the entry because it was a ME problem. So to apologize for this track, which turns out to be the most intimate to me. I will make a single post dedicated to her dissecting each verse and hugging each word on it. I believe she was a she (the song). And yes, I do apologize to inanimate objects. Also this post is inspired by this post. The OP did a really good digest of the song. So I decided to totally ripped OP off. Hehehe. Let’s get on with it.
“I carved my name into your ribcage
We talked of lands away from this cage
You said, "Don't fret love
Someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free"
Oh, but darling, did you mean
Darling, did you mean free from me?”
The first verse immediately struck my heart, how come I miss this beautiful piece of poetry.
When a songwriter uses pleonasm or hyperbole (that actually makes sense). Oh boy, you got me. This is my formula for a perfect singer to stan.
Ok, just a warning. Before thins get heated. I am no good at analyzing stuff so please take this with a grain of salt and please if you interpret this song differently, don’t let my opinion change what you’ve had for this song. Whether for good or bad.
The first verse usually introduces the whole song, the one that sets everything. For this verse what I get is that the relationship is about a man who depends on a girl a lot and both of them actually know it.
“I carved my name into your ribcage…” "Don't fret love. Someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free".
The girl actually likes that her partner is dependent on her, so when things were falling out between the two of them. She was surprised when the man talked about being free, she never thought that it was her. That she might be one of the things that keep him from that cage.
“You promised home
The kind I'd never known,
But here we are, skin and flesh and beating hearts, and
I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong
You said, "Let's make ourselves our very own brigade
This love, our shield, our blade"
Oh, but darling, do you see the cuts from which I bleed?
It's me you've slain”
The thing about relationships, like any other, is that you make effort. You share and open up yourself for making the relationship work between the two of you. It became your safety and purpose. So it is quite hurtful when those things that you give are the ones that actually hurt you. Which actually what she said in the next lines: “I didn't obliteratе these walls for you, to come and raid my homе”
The girl puts a lot of effort into a relationship but seems like she’s not getting reciprocated.
This kind of feeling is one of the worst feelings you can have in a relationship. It’s like walking on eggshells. You have no idea whether you’re doing enough, or you need to do more or you’re doing more. But despite your willingness to do everything, you’re still clueless about what your partner feels because you’re afraid to ask. Or you’re afraid to know.
“And here you are, right next to me
Ironically, I've never felt more alone.”
“I fell for you, faster than I fell apart (Hmm)
And I guess I'm the one to blame
For letting myself fall too hard
I ripped my heart out and put it in your hands
In hope that we'd put up a fight (Hmm)
How paradoxical, since now
All I can think about is when will we stop trying”
As the song progresses, she’s finally realizing that the relationship was so one-sided and that she’s tired of getting blindsided. Giving yourself wholeheartedly in a relationship was always a bad thought. If we’re being honest, I am also in a debate with myself whether it is idealistically to give everything you have. But I guess you’ll only know as you go through the years. But it keeps me wondering, why would you feel empty or exhausted in giving your whole self, if you love yourself as a whole. If you do love yourself, you’ll never run out of something. But to be able to do that you really need to be a whole person. A complete one, when you enter a relationship. This is why some relationships fail and some work. And this whole thing was scary.
“How do we stay afloat?
When do I let go?
All you do is blindside me, it's hard to be brave
But when the night cuts into the day, it's your love I crave
I must've thanked my lucky stars too much
They left me sitting in too much dust (Hmm, oh-oh)
You know all my dreams, you were one, so it seemed
And I love you but with you, it's heartache I breathe.
You gave it your all, just with everything you took from me”
And this goes back to what I said, that the relationship needs work. I believe it is work. Some might say that if you really found the one you love you wouldn’t find yourself working, it would just flow smoothly. But then again, it won’t be that hard if you’re working with someone. It’s always a two-person work. So if you find yourself having a hard time. Well, maybe you’re the only one getting the work. And if you don’t experience this, then you’re lucky or maybe you should ask your partner if there’s something that you’re missing.
This is a heartbreaking song because it was a moment when you know that this is it and it’s time. She finally realized her limits and that she was tired of working the relationship all by herself. It might be the hardest and the saddest moment of her life but it will be all worth it at the end. (I just know it)
It would be another kind of work for her, but it would be as beautiful as ever when done. Because it would finally be her being free from that cage. Not a lot of girls can say that and I wish for all of us to finally be free from what’s keeping us from wherever we're supposed to be.
I love this song because, sadly, I think I might be stuck in this situation. I am no expert on everything and I think I still do a lot of wrong things. But this song makes me realize all of it. It’s also good to know that I am not alone in experiencing all of this. It’s good (and oddly weird) to find companionship through anonymity. There are other girls. And I hope all men die. And I can’t explain it any further. The thing that I like the most about this song is the use of Pleonasm and Hyperboles. Or any kind of figure of speech is there. I told you good storytelling in a song will get you to my Stan 4ever list. Niki really knows her way to her words and how she will deliver. I hoped I'd known and hyped this song after its release because I didn’t do it as much as it deserves.
I don’t know how much I’ve said these but: “Niki, I love you.” Despite you being alone in those situations you give the world a song that allows others to mourn along with you. I know that you’re happy and making bread on your Instagram stories, and I am very happy for you. I did pester you to release something like this since you release your second album and I’m sorry for not appreciating this the first time I heard of it. The bullying is necessary for you to give me this album. Hey, it worked. And it’s your best by far. Please continue sharing your stories with us.
I was contemplating whether to write an album review for NIKI, unlike Sabrina’s (emails i can’t send), I didn’t like Niki’s new album as a whole but I have some specific songs that I would choose over Sabrina’s in a heartbeat. I have Niki’s song imprinted in my personality. I am a Niki girl second. (Swiftie first, Niki second then Ara, me, myself). It’s just the whole album doesn’t click with me(the recent one). But you know what, I am a complicated person, maybe I was not in the mood for the album by the time I listened to it. But I have some of Niki’s songs that I would put in a customized vinyl for the ‘Ara’s coming of age playlist’.
To start this, I would like to say that Niki is a good songwriter. She is undeniably good at that department. To quote one of her songs she is a ‘wizard of words’. She first got me hooked with the infamous Lowkey. The beat, especially the songwriting, was so good I had nothing else to do but to stan. And after that it was just hits on hits. Lowkey, followed by her EP: ‘wanna take this downtown’ (which is her Magnum Opus EP/album, in my opinion) Indigo, Shouldn’t Couldn’t Wouldn’t, and her collab song with a Thai singer and the song that I might exchange my swiftie card for: La la la lost you. Both the track and the acoustic version. THAT was her MAGNUM OPUS song. If I was God, I would give her a house with a big yard in heaven for writing that.
I was really convinced that I didn’t like her self-titled album. Because her past album was a miss for me. But she kinda enjoyed that era so I let her be. But ever since she announced that she’ll do another album after that album, I begged her to release something similar to her first EP, let’s go back to that. So I was a little disappointed when she released that album, but I figured this was the real her. I believe the songs in her recent ones are the ones from the vault. Music she deleted because she was trying to make a name. Music she releases and writes during her times in Indonesia and while she’s making a name in America.
The reason why it didn't click for me in the first listen was because it was too pure. See, it always depends on my mood every time I listen to music. My first listen wasn’t always reliable. It’s so pure and so vulnerable that if I listened to it and put it to my heart, I would break.
There’s only a few tracks that I listened to but they were definitely added up on the ‘soundtrack of life’-playlist.
Of course, the song that hurt me first was Ocean and Engines. OooOOHHh that music video hits too close to home. And the lyrics, it's like putting salt to an open wound. It hurts.
Then I got hooked on Milk Teeth, but I think the best track to me was Backburner. I also love The apartment we won’t share. And before. AND keeping tabs. So to rank these songs I would say:
Backburner.
Favorite line: ‘Cause I don’t feel alive ‘till I’m burning on your backburner. THE WHOLE SONG actually. I also love the part where she sings ‘The Goo Goo dolls are dead to me, the way you should be too’ and the ‘But I know in a week or so, you’ll fade away again. And I wish I cared. (then she followed it by:) Hey, are you still there? Good. – This. OMG. When you’re always the second person, you will always tell yourself that, ‘Ah, Okay, I’ve had enough.’ But then when you’re in a middle of that situation, the fear of losing someone, it’s a thin line whether you’ll push through or eat your words and go back to that sad, pathetic position. It’s usually the latter. So I think she really nail the whole emotions there. The confusion, fear and relief that he was still there.
Reason for liking this song: Just like what I said, I am a resident Martyr. The second option. The safety blanket. The backburner. I will settle for less than what I deserve and I will be thankful for it. So imagine when something finally kicked in me when listening to this. Shoot me straight to my heart. I know I should change this about myself but I’m scared.
2. Ocean and Engines.
Fave line: ‘How is it now that somehow you’re a stranger? You were mine yesterday.’ I don’t have to explain why I love this line. It’s too personal.
3. Milk Teeth
Fave line: This love’s but a newborn, so why does it bite?, We breath for different reasons, you for your, “well done’s” and me for, “You’re welcome.”
I really like Milk teeth as a title. So creative.
4. The Apartment we won’t share
Fave line: “The demons I won’t meet, now someone else’s to keep. I’m sure she’s beautiful and sweet. Not what I wanted but what we need’
I fee like this could be a good closing song for the album. Maybe right before or after Ocean and Engine’s.
Sorry, I haven’t decided what’s my 5th entry. So you’ll have to settle for this.
I really want to do a whole Niki song ranking but I know for a fact that I would wreck my brain for that and I need w whole lifetime to decide which one is first. So, let’s not put me through that kind of misery. Maybe next time if I’m really, really, really bored. For now this would do. To Niki, I love you.
Take a listen to Niki's album and some of her songs:
How quickly can you take your clothes off pop quiz?
I will do something I haven’t done here in this godforsaken blog. This is not an unfamiliar territory as for these kinds of things have more appearances than the things I usually talked about here(books). Let’s talk about music.
The first album I’ll digest would be my top album for 2022. (Side-eyeing and apologizing to Midnights and Renaissance.) It would only make sense to start this whole thing with her.
emails I can’t send by Sabrina Carpenter.
Sabrina isn’t the first Sabrina I got obsessed with. There’s Sabrina Claudio, who I always mistakenly call instead of her.
Despite having completely different music genres and styles. I still and would mistakenly call their names.
(Side note: Not confused by appearance, but because she and Carpenter literally have the same first name and the same last name’s initials. SC.)
Emails I can’t send was a pop album with 13 catchy-no-skip-pop-hit songs in it. The only bad thing I can think of is that this has no deluxe version yet. (fingers crossed that she released next year)
I am always a sucker for a song that tells a story. Another factor why I will worship and sing the song to my sleep is if I can actually relate to it. Sabrina’s new album ticked that off easily. Additionally to that, she made it catchier and so refreshing to hear. She really hit all the points here. No wonder this would be her biggest album yet (for me). I was really skeptical of her music because of the Olivia Rodrigo feud. And I was on Olivia’s team. But lo and behold, look who switched sides now. I thought that Olivia’s music was good yet I'm kinda off listening to it because I am not in her age bracket. We obviously experienced high school differently. I know it’s just music, and yet I feel like I was done experiencing those things. I'm over it. So when I listened to Sabrina’s, I was finally, bopping my head. Both albums are amazing. I’m not pitting two lovely women. Do you know what would be better? If both of them do a collab and decided to write a song about you know who. Bring these pop girls and bring back the messiness of it all.
The most striking track for me, at first, was Skinny Dipping. Even though there are a lot of comments about the singing style of it. It was what caught my attention. And despite all of you saying it was weird. It was GOOD. But I agree, it wasn’t her best. I thought it was, but I was mistaken. I also thought of Tornado Warnings, because of how much I play that song. But yet again, I was mistaken. For me, it was NONSENSE. Which everybody likes. As she milks the hell out of that song. I am the kind of person who hates the fact that my favorite song off the album was actually the fan fave. But it is what it is. Nonsense was the IT. There are also some runner-ups like Viscous and Read your mind.
What I like about this album the most was the fact that it was a very personal album yet not everything was all out. Very sexy and mysterious while keeping the element of being fun and playful. And the songwriting was good. Like really good. There were only a few people I can commend for their songwriting. NIKI, Olivia, Conan, and now Sabrina. I would also bravely add that Taylor gave birth to these kinds of songwriters if not then inspired them.
This album is my top album according to my Apple music wrap. It would probably tell you that out of all the songs in that album, Tornado Warnings or Skinny Dipping was the most played despite Nonsense being my favorite. This music was the one playing while I was suffering during my driving school days and when I’m so depressed because I can’t seem to park properly. (Which is still a thing.)
To rank my favorites:
Nonsense
Tornado Warnings
Vicious
Read your mind
decode
If you haven’t taken a dip in her music, try starting with this album. I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like. If you have a way to tell me your favorite track, let’s discuss it. If not, then just listen. I’m telling you it’s good.
I was in the middle of writing the Seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo review when I realized I needed to actually write a review about something that I recently read. The bulk of books I ordered from the Philippines finally came.One of those books is this book. Which I’ve been wanting to read for a long time.
(Side note: Look at all the book covers for different countries. It’s cute. I love how in most of the covers, the face of the woman was empty because it signifies all woman. That this could be any woman you know. Did you get it or am I just over analyzing stuff.)
According to my GoodReads review: (which has become really helpful in the past couple of reviews.) (See my Seven Husband of Evelyn Hugo review. If not posted, well you wouldn’t get the joke. I’m sorry. This was meant to take with sarcasm).
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
The rating is not final. Might change it when I get to ponder more.
Well, based on that I need to ponder more. Well, did I ponder enough? Let’s see.
I wish this book gave me something to gasp or to root for but, no. It somehow surprised me, but then I didn't as the accounts in the book were the same things I experienced every day. So when the plot factor was removed, there was nothing left to judge but the writing of the story. Which was very weak, it was very appealing for sure (the concept), as for It went viral in Korea. And it started a movement there. But there is not much of a story there. It's more like a short story for a documentary series. Or a short segment that you'll read in a magazine. The author can remove the names and replace it with 'father', 'mother', 'woman' and the story would be easier to read but wouldn't have more color. It would be the same.
These days I just wish people would write more about a woman who isn't smashed by patriarchy, or capitalism. I wish people, despite being trampled on, would write how we all can get out of this slump. Something inspiring. Not something that will annoy me and just remind me how fucking unfair things for women. But I guess it's understandable when hope is hard to find these days. We need something. And when these MEN are still in power. We still need these kinds of books. (?)
I wished that maybe since it was given this much attention, I hoped that the issues this book was trying to raise were explained or dive into further. Because what this book gave (to me) was just scratching the surface. In the times where everyone was trying to be aware or already is. I just expect this to have a stronger approach.
In terms of writing, I also yearned for it to be more appealing. Because as much as I wanted to stand against all the injustices for women. The writing phase was terrible. I did consider that maybe I felt this way because this was a Korean book. And it’s really hard to understand something if it wasn’t your mother tongue. Some messages won’t translate well. On the other hand, I don’t want to blame the translator because we’re all just doing our job here. So I don’t really have anything to say for this book anymore.
The ending doesn’t make sense to me as well because apparently this was written through the accounts of Jiyoung’s therapist. Which is unethical. I know that this is a work of fiction but when you are trying to write a book based on true events, wouldn’t you want the accounts to be straight with the actual in-real life facts? I’m just saying.
I heard there’s a movie adaptation of it which maybe this book was trying to do. To get an adaptation. Which leads back again to what I’m saying. That maybe this book should try harder, just like any other woman. Oh wow, the metaphor there.
I don’t know about the title. Don’t ask me. I’ve been saying shit just to say shit.
Hello, hello. So, I’m back. Finish all my personal problems. Got recharged. Read new books. Reread my blog and got re-inspired by it to post(maybe?) again. Since my last post, I’ve read, watched, listened to, and consume a lot of media. If you’ve been following me on Goodreads, (where I’m more active than here.) you know that I’m risking my well-being just to finish my 2022 reading challenge. Which means I’m trying to read as much as I can. And I did. So far here are my read(past tense) list:
Or at least, that’s what I think about what I’m doing. I haven’t put a proper review in a minute so maybe I’ll continue posting some of those. I’ll probably also post something about my Apple Music wrap. Because I got an interesting list. So a little PSA, before I start PMS-ing. I will start posting, AGAIN. If I don’t follow up after this. Oh well, what’s new. It’s always how I roll.
I was indeed a change woman. Committing into reading books and actually posting my review not just here but also on my good reads. Boredom in workplace really gets you there.
In a span of four months (maybe) or 3 (more of), I read 4 books. 2 of them are poetry books but still. A finished book made a well-read woman a legit one.
So before I re-read Catcher in the Rye, made sure I finished, To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf.
As what you had observed or will, I was on my Classics grind. I was really trying to build my literature and book-lover foundation by actually reading literature classics. I've read bajillion amount of books and I can't believe how small the classics pieces my palms have touched. It's embarrassing. So I've decided to alternate if not read Classical books for this period of my life.
And I started my journey with To the Lighthouse. Which is a bad idea. If you're thinking of wanting to read classics I suggest not to start with this book. For this was hella hard to read. I would recommend you to start with To Kill a Mockingbird, Tom Sawyer, Gatsby or Catcher in the Rye. This book will scare you not because of the plot but because it was a job to read. (At least for me) I read a couple of classics before (like the mentioned prior) so this doesn't really put me in a total off instead it put me into a turmoil.
I gave this book a 3-star because I didn't saw myself enjoying it. I was very disappointed because the reviews told me otherwise. It wasn't bad. It really isn't. It just there's a lot of things going on in my life and I factored it well that I end up giving it a 3-star.
I would start numbering my review for this because even my reviews for this confuses me. And somehow numbering it would make so much sense for you to understand my thought process for this book. Here we go:
1. I really got confused who's talking and who's narrating. First page already and it made me re-read it. Resulting reading this book a little longer than I expected. If it wasn't for the re-reading and retracing lost path, this would took me a week or two to finish. Instead, it took me a month.
2. I am not a wordsmith. I don't know a lot of deep words. So, I have to look up some of the words used here. I am not stupid with words. Actually, I believe I know fairly amount of vocabularies. But this has just way more unfamiliar words.
3. It has a setting I am foreign and barely touched on. I believe this was before or after WWI or WWII which is I rarely know. I know Dunkirk, because I’ve watched it. And I knew Nazi and Hitler because, DUH. But about what country or whomever is involve, nope. So I did a little studying first. I did studied it during high school. But that was years ago and I'm Asian. That war isn't the focus of my curriculum.
4. Characters annoys the hell out of me. Especially the men. THE MEN. THE MEN. THE MEN. I did like Lily but she's not appealing enough or strong enough. Especially after hearing and reading books with strong female characters. Which the only and the best genre I will read. It was quite a let-down. But still how can I be so harsh when this inspires a lot of those literature pieces. I should still give props to this.
5. What I like about it was it was the type of book I quite enjoy. A book where there's nothing is happening but there is so much happening. One moment where in a grassland painting, the next where in a chaotic dinner where everyone is doing something. When you're reading about how quiet the library was and all of a sudden you're in a middle of the raging waves. Where all of a sudden we're resting after that dinner then the next thing the war happened and everyone's dead. It surprisingly baffled and amused me at the same time.
6. The symbolism. It is why it's considered as a modern-classic. Virginia Woolf's writing style is impeccable, though some people might find it quite hard to follow (me). But when you did grasp it, you will actually find your mouth wide open. I did get a lot of her characters. How James, a fruit of somewhat an unhappy marriage that results to him having a deep rooted anger towards his father. Charles Tansley, who insults a lot of people due to having no one not giving him one. Mrs. Ramsay who clearly needs validation 24/7 and sadly needs to know her value as a woman. Mr. Ramsay who is a crystal-clear dickhead. Lily Briscoe a strong independent woman who lacks confidence. And the freaking lighthouse. Yes, the lighthouse indeed. Like, you will get it.
7. There’s a lot of memorable quotes packed in the pages. The thing is, her writing style is very unique. That brackets and a one-paragraph chapter would likely made you scared of the book. But if you’ve been a real classic fan I think you’ll enjoy debunking and reading this.
For someone who made it clear that she doesn’t like this book very much, I surely have a lot to say!!! After all of these and you still doesn’t get my point then maybe it’s on you. But also it is my secret talent to say a lot of things that doesn’t make sense. But I would stop here. “For now she need not think of anybody. She could be herself, by herself.”
Cheating my way through the book challenge by reading short stories. LOL.
Regardless, this was an amazing piece. My second Murakami read. My third actually because I read Abandoning Cats too. But I won't do a review of that because..... I don't want to.
When I read Norwegian (which is my first Murakami piece) I told you that the present rating of that book would depend on how much I would like the next pieces that I would read from him. And lo and behold, I like this much better than Norwegian.
This is short yet very intriguing. Also, catches your attention right away.
But here's the thing; I'm becoming to realize how Murakami doesn't know any single thing about girls or maybe he had some kind of prejudice towards us because all of the girls in all of his literacy pieces were either broken, confused, or worse in this story DEAD. But maybe I need to calm my prejudice towards him about his prejudice about women but I really did notice it (and would still continue to notice it). With just 3 stories read, I felt and knew. But maybe not, sure let's give him the benefit of the doubt. SURE!
I liked this one better than Norwegian and Abandoning Cat because I love how intriguing it was. I have no idea that it was also based on another novel with the same title by William Faulkner. It has an adaptation, which I heard was amazing. But this story reminds me more of the Korean movie V.I.P. I get it why someone would turn it into a movie (which I need to watch). Plus the movie has a superb cast. We're not complaining!
This book, as I imagined was set in a modern time. With a man narrating the story with a (girl)friend who's mysterious and quiet. From the middle part of this story, I already know that the barn represents or symbolizes a lot more than the barn itself. (Not because it was depictable right away, but because I've read and watched movies where you literally need to interpret and think. And also, I am not stupid as the narrator. Spoiler alert, btw.) And it was a good symbolization. I also surprisingly find myself being angry and frustrated for what that man actually did and will continue to do. And also the fact that the narrator was so stupid to even realized what happened. Are all men that dull? But I don't think that's not what the author wanted you to focus on.
Even though he clearly stated how stupid he was for being a writer and wasn't able to interpret all the things that is happening right in front of his eyes.
Instead, focus on the fact that there are men of his kind (the other man) who as predatory and diabolical evil to do such things to innocent and young girls. Which is very devastating and still very prominent up to this day. If we have different interpretations please message me let's discuss this. But this is what I ponder: Men are the root of all evil.
Regardless, I like this because I enjoy this kind of theme. Minus the fact that the woman was always the victim in this story (or in any of his herein). In a 13-page story, I was able to read through Murakami's marvelous skill of symbolism and corporate it with his mind-piercing writing ability. It wasn't a Murakami without a good old reference to Gatsby and his good taste in music. With all of that combined, you'll realize why a lot of people find this and his stories really appealing.
After reading a few pieces from him, you really somehow recognized someone's style of writing and somehow figured out his/her formula. Well, with regards to Murakami, it was always a: (1) loner, sad, lost man. (2) A depressed, mysterious, and craving-for-something type of woman. (3) And a cliff-hanger/ killer ending. And it was a literal killer ending with Barn Burning ;)
Just after I finished writing my Norwegian Review, I then finished reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. As you can see I am on a roll. I have this Goodreads challenge that started last month and I’m already down with 3 books. I didn’t put a 100 book goal or a 50. I only did 10. Which is kind of small but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. With my schedule and my self-developed short attention span. I might not finish reading 10 books. Also, the year has almost passed and 10 was just a reasonable amount for a person who wanted to start a book challenge in the middle of the year.
The Year of Magical Thinking is a memoir about the life of Joan Didion after her husband, John Dunne died. It also involves her daughter, Quintana Dunne who was during that time, is in an ICU undergoing medical treatment for some sort of infection in her lungs that leads to septic shock. This book is about how Joan deals with her life after the passing of her husband while her daughter was suffering from a terminal illness. She told the stories with solid fact-checking with her, referencing medical books and research from other authors and doctors. It is unbelievably well-researched and amazingly well-written. How that specific medical thing somehow reflects to her current situation(obviously, it’s called metaphoring, ara).
As I was reading the book, the main thing that always popped into my head was “If I had the chance of reading this while I am grieving, this would be a great help for I wouldn’t feel alone during those dark times”. The loss of someone near to your heart was one of the greatest, if not the most heartbreaking thing that would happen to you. When I experienced everything that she experienced, (well I didn’t lose a husband because I haven’t had one yet) the whole death thing doesn’t make sense to me as well. Just like her, I questioned the whole process. Like, how can a person who’s just living and breathing next to you just fall so ill and stop breathing all of a sudden? I started retracing steps backward. Asking myself whether if I did these things, would those things happen. I also look for signs, indications, and premonitions that my beloved could’ve shown before him ending up being... Dead. I even start looking for him in every dream I had. You became that crazy person when you lose someone. You hang on to anything because you are looking for something you don’t even know if you want it. You started questioning everything, even blaming yourself, or someone for all of that. But in reality, it’s just you who is afraid of tomorrow because you are facing tomorrow all alone. I had a lot of realizations when I went through the same thing as she did. And we might have small differences but it is all GRIEF you can see on our faces. She was right when she said: ”People who have recently lost someone have a certain look, recognizable maybe only to those who have seen that look on their own faces. I have noticed it on my face and I notice it now on others. The look is one of extreme vulnerability, nakedness, openness.” Because I saw people different from me from that day. That tragic thing taught me a wonderful thing; to become more observant, sensitive, and compassionate. I was still young at that time, like 19. So it was a revelation for me, don’t judge me for being self-centered till I was 19. And I’m sorry if you’re part of the Dead-loved-ones club.
Her writing style was remarkable, as I've said she’s a researcher. She read things and used them as a solid source. Medical facts and different research from different professionals are sprinkled all over the book. And I like reading those kinds of pieces because I like learning. I just found out that Didion was a reporter, that’s why she writes the way she wrote. It is accompanied by impactful and strong emotional remarks that will surely take you by surprise. And will find yourself relating on another level.
I’ve read a lot of reviews where they didn’t like the way she writes, with a lot of name droppings and excessive flashing of wealth. I can see that, and it's true. Still, despite that, I didn’t focus on that because I was more busy relating and sharing my grief with her. The books weren’t written to flash her wealth. I believe it wasn’t her intention. She was just clearly re-telling her story. And if you can’t get past it, it’s just the way it is. Rich people are always gonna be rich people.
I give this book 4 stars I think, not sure. Because despite this being my first Didion book, it serves its purpose for me. The message she was trying to send was received by me, fully and clearly.
