Can I just add a thing here
When my mum heard about / discovered that this weird fashion I started trying to wear at 16 was called ālolita,ā she had a miniature heart attack. She thought I didnāt understand that that word was used in the wrong context often. She thought that the fashion was intended to be sexual and that I was too naive to understand that, and that I just took it to be a cute fashion. Hereās the thing tho: it IS just a cute fashion. And after explaining this, she was then worried that other gross people would sexualise me against my will or target me and therefore I shouldnāt be wearing it.
Wrong. It is other peopleās fault for sexualising me, not mine. It is never my fault, if I am sexualised against my will. It is never anybodyās fault.
Especially when, personally, I liked the idea of lolita because it was so darn sweet and elegant, and in my opinion, so not-sexually-charged in a world that shoved sex in my face every day. It was a breath of fresh air. Iāve had more sexual connotations associated with me when I was fucking 12 and wore a tank top and shorts to grade 7 orientation on a hot summers day and everyone who didnāt know my name called me ~the girl with the boobs~ for two years straight. LikeĀ ????
And then we fast forward to when I met my dadās partner and she heard about lolita and had a minature heart attack because, in juxtaposition to my mum, it was so adorable, she couldnāt believe it. In her native culture, Lolita was a nickname for Dolores and had little-to-no sexual connotations with it. She even, if my memory serves me right, mentioned that lolita or dolly was just something you called sweet young girls. So the word was really fitting and it was all just so sweet and cute. She even pronounces it with a Spanish accent despite having an Australian accent because thatās what you do with totally native words.
So Iām emphasising a cultural difference here.
And hereās my thing, hereās a bit of TL;DR:
Have pedophiles and misogynist pigs who sexualise young girls seriously infiltrated every aspect of our society that it is somehow more fucking plausible that girls who want to dress in cute and feminine fashion are doing so because they want to be sexualised? Or that they should expect to be sexualised? Is that what people are saying now? That girls cannot take charge over their lives and their aesthetic for one god damned second before being, yet again, sexualised in every aspect of their being?
I donāt want to use āyouāre damned if you do, and damned if you donātā but hey, thatās all I can muster up right now because I feel like Iām on a different fricking planet.
And, as a not-so-subtle side note, if you donāt think mainstream porn and itās culture has something to do with this, you are dead wrong.
Amazing new concept: If girls want to be sexual, they can be sexual. If they donāt, they donāt. Either fucking way it is impossible to win when mainstream society oversexualises young girls and their fashion in an ~adult way~ and if you somehow take a different path youāre fetishised as an ~innocent sex nymph doll~ like where the fuck do we draw the line?
I will tell you where we draw the god damned line: where ever the fuck the girl in question draws her own m o t h er fricking line.
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