101% Avengers Crap

Because why not?

[arcemo17]

Yelena: I’m so sick of being an adult and having to clean the same shit over and over!

Bob: You could just… not clean stuff.

Ava: You do realize that’s worse, right?

[arcemo17]

Reed: What have you been working on in your downtime?

Johnny: I’m trying to create a form of smoking that isn’t bad for you!

Reed: We still haven’t even solved world hunger.

Johnny: Maybe that should be your priority.

[arcemo17]

Sam: Please stop buying things just because they’re on sale.

Bucky, eating a bowl of melted butter like soup: It’s even better if you add garlic powder!

[official-captainrogers]

Don't blame him. The great depression is still rooted deep in him.

[arcemo17]

Joaquin: Why does he do that? Is it from fear of the Great Depression?

Sam: I don’t know, but every time I ask, he tries to feed me butter soup.

[arcemo17]

Sam: Please stop buying things just because they’re on sale.

Bucky, eating a bowl of melted butter like soup: It’s even better if you add garlic powder!

[arcemo17]

Sam: Please stop engaging in high risk behaviors.

Joaquin: Like what? Telling myself I’ll do my homework in the morning instead of before bed?

Sam: Like jumping out of planes with no formal training!

[arcemo17]

Alexei: You’re my daughter, of course I think you deserve the world!

Yelena: I’d settle for a nice long nap and a hot bowl of soup at this point.

[arcemo17]

Bucky: As Congressional representatives, we need to fight for disability rights!

Valentina: Yeah, right, like you even care.

Bucky: …I’m literally an amputee.

[arcemo17]

Joaquin: I’m a walking disaster!

Sam: Then sit down. Don’t make me revoke your walking privileges again.

Bucky: Is “bed rest” just adult time-out for him?

[arcemo17]

Bob: We all need to be making an effort to shop locally!

Yelena: Does Amazon count as “local” if you live right next to the distribution plant?

Valentina: I wanted to shop locally for my plane tickets, so I just bought a private jet.

Bob: …and, I’ve found the two main reasons behind climate change and income inequality.

[arcemo17]

Sam, shaking Yelena’s hand: It’s nice to meet you! I’m Samuel Wilson.

Yelena: Hey. I’m Yelena Belova, and this is my friend, Boob.

Bob: For the love of God, that is not my name.

[arcemo17]

Yelena: This, too, shall pass.

Bob: Well maybe it should pass at the speed of vanilla extract instead of fucking molasses.

[arcemo17]

Bucky: I’m too old for this “congressman” shit.

Sam: But you’re not too old to be fighting on the front lines against Valentina?

Bucky: I have priorities. And grudges.

[arcemo17]

Ava: You need to stop trying to set Yelena and Bob up!

Bucky: For the last time, I locked them both in the closet so they’d stop annoying me.

[arcemo17]

Bucky: So… you said doing clean-up for Valentina is like a full-time job?

Yelena: A full-time job with no lunch breaks.

Bucky: Have you, Ava, and John considered unionizing yet?

[arcemo17]

Joaquin: Everything is so expensive these days.

Sam: Aw, cheer up. When life gives you lemons, make a lemon cake!

Joaquin: I can’t even afford eggs…

[arcemo17]

Billy: What did Rio give you for your birthday?

Agatha: Some wine and a massive headache.

Billy: At least she didn’t give you a trip to the hospital!

Rio: That’ll be Agatha’s holiday gift.

[arcemo17]

Joaquin: Inside of me there are two wolves.

Sam: You ate two whole wolves? I thought you were vegetarian.

Joaquin: They’re plastic wolf toys.

Sam: You swallowed plastic?