This is my AU that will never go anywhere, where Agatha and Wanda are best, best friends, Viz is as usual not in the picture (no one cares about Vision), the twins are around, and it's vaguely set around Book 4 or 5 of Dungeon Crawler Carl.
The Brief Interaction of The Royal Court of Princess Donut and The Soccer Moms
A Dungeon Crawler Carl/WandaVision AU Crossover
We'd never met the Soccer Moms before. I knew Donut had trash-talked back and forth with Agnes Oco, who had hovered just outside of the top ten and appeared once or twice on the fifth floor. By all accounts, Agnes killed the hell out of massed mobs and had saved the asses of several parties, but also had serious murder hobo vibes so nobody wanted to join up with their party. The Soccer Moms had a small, dedicated following due to their backstory, though according to Donut they could get kind of maudlin with their tight-knit family vibes.
There were four of them: Agnes Oco, her best friend Wanda Max, and Wanda's two sons, Billy and Tommy Max. They had been outside when the collapse happened, about to get into Agnes's giant SUV so they could all go to Tommy's indoor soccer tournament for a traveling team. The Soccer Moms had been incredibly lucky; they had two duffel bags full of clothes and gear and a third bag full of soccer supplies sitting on the side of the car before it disappeared. Agnes had been carrying a handgun in her purse and Tommy Max had earned a Platinum Pelé box for being the first crawler to bring soccer balls into the dungeon.
However, it had been Wanda who had permanently stuck the party with the name The Soccer Moms when she'd used a soccer ball to decapitate a mob on the first floor.
Tommy, a blond kid who was about six feet tall wearing cleats, held out a fist to us. I quickly added him to my chat along with the other three. The lanky teen immediately sent me a private message while the other three stood a bit away from me and Donut.
Tommy MAX: Don't be offended if Auntie Ags gives you shit. That's just how she is.
Carl: As long as she isn't trying to murder my party or other crawlers, she can give me all the shit she wants.
Tommy MAX: Rumors of Auntie's murder hobo-ness are...well, not greatly exaggerated, but she isn't actively trying to kill crawlers. She just doesn't care if crawlers are getting in the way when she is, according to her, 'trying to save SOME idiots from dying and getting us killed.'
Donut and Agnes Oco were staring each other down, clearly talking shit to each other on a private chat. Agnes was a Level 34 Wine Aunt, Wanda was a Level 36 Chaotic Mage, Billy was a Level 29 Boy Wonder, and Tommy was a Level 30 Speedster. While I wasn't sure how I felt about the Soccer Moms yet, I approved of how everyone in the party had solid stats and levels. They wouldn't be easy for the dungeon to kill, even if I had no idea what Agnes' class meant.
Carl: What the hell is a Wine Aunt?
Mordecai: It's a weird hybrid class. Bard and fighter. She can cast spells by singing or telling stories, and those get stronger with her charisma. Also, she can throw projectiles very accurately, particularly liquid ones out of containers. The recap shows spend a lot of time talking about her Invisible Woman spell.
I remembered now. The reason Agnes Oco was the famous member of Soccer Moms was her Level 10 Invisible Woman spell, which she'd earned for being the oldest woman in the party AND the first to kill a mob two levels higher than herself. Invisible Woman let Agnes hide in plain sight - she could cast it and mobs were unable to see her even if she was standing right next to them for thirty seconds plus her intelligence times three. The neat trick to Invisible Woman was that other crawlers could see her even when mobs and NPCs couldn't, letting their healer (Billy) buff her and extend the spell. They'd made the spell even more effective using Agnes' Wine Aunt class; she'd sing a little jingle to duplicate herself and suddenly there were three visible Agnes for mobs to chase while Agnes herself sniped the oblivious mobs either with a nasty pair of sai, a set of enchantable throwing knives, or by the amusing if dangerous method of throwing liquid attacks from a bucket or cup.
Donut: CARL, SHE INSULTED MY SINGING ABILITIES.
Carl: Tommy says not to take her seriously. She's trying to rile you up.
Donut: SHE SAYS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, GIVEN MY BRAINS AND SPECIES, NOT TO ATTEMPT ANYTHING BARDIC. I LIKE THAT SHE RESPECTS MY INTELLIGENCE BUT WHO THE HELL IS SHE TO SAY ANYTHING? ALSO HER CHARISMA IS VERY HIGH FOR A MURDER HOBO.
