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when kylo ren dies a painful death

#this is my last post on this blog............this is so valid

feel free to unfollow me!! i wont be using this blog anymore

#i might be back one day tho..........whom knows....................#but as of now im just using my main blog as a source of everything i lov

i dont rly use this blog anymore as u can probably tell sorry lads im more active on my main blog @curtsmiths !!

needs more c(mutuals)owbell

#personal

aw-hawkeye-no

@ Hollywood, hire me. I fixed the new Mummy movie without even watching a trailer

Tom Cruise and Young Hot Blonde™ enter the crypt, Tom in the lead because he is the manly protector. Their flashlight beams eventually illuminate a sarcophagus carved in the likeness of a beautiful Princess.

Tom Cruise approaches the sarcophagus, moves to open it.

Young Hot Blonde™: Don’t do the thing.

Tom Cruise: I’m going to do the thing. *Shoves sarcophagus open*

They cough as dust fills the air. Just as it begins to clear, Brendan Frasier shoots upright, drawing his gun and immediately shooting Tom Cruise in the head.

“I thought I told Evy not to put me down for mummification,” he mutters as he looks at his surroundings. He is inexplicably not decomposed or mummified, just vaguely wrapped in Charmin. Glances at a now very dead Tom Cruise. “Oops.”

Young Hot Blonde™: How… how did this happen?

Brendan Frasier: Well, it’s a long story, I’ll have to start at the beginning.

Then they just replay the entirety of ‘The Mummy’ (1999).

After credits scene:

Young Hot Blonde™: That still doesn’t explain how you ended up alive in a sarcophagus in the year 2017.

Brendan Frasier: Oh, yeah, no fucking clue.