i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'
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we're not kids anymore.

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@arctictern12
i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'
Half of them are feds, but are off the clock.
5 0 Â Â Y E A R S Â Â A G O
Happy Moon Landing Day! â€ïžđ©âđđ
Trying to fuck a girl with alters starting every text with to whom it may concern
he fixed a bunch of potholes recently and all my gay neighbors won't stop posting shit like this
You forgot the other two.
Self uppies
Commission for @patricia-taxxon, thank you so much!
Apparently my director went to see a production of West Side Story a few years ago, and the guy playing Chino forgot his gun before coming out for his final scene. Once it got to the big scene where he is supposed to shoot Tony, he screeched âPoison Bootsâ and kicked the actor playing Tony until he went down. The girl playing Maria then had to jerk the shoe off of Chinoâs foot, and had to do the gunshot scene asking âHow many kicks Chino? How many kicks, and one kick left for meâ.Â
There should be a blog dedicated to theatrical urban legends. Like that opening weekend of Dracula where Dracula (still hungover) vomited all over the audience during the first stage direction that everyone has a friend of a friend that worked on the show and was there.
or the one where the bridge never came out for Javertâs suicide and so he just pretended to stab himself and then lay there until the lights went out
best story i heard was when a friend of mine saw a show where juliet forgot to bring the dagger out on stage so she just ripped the squib out of her chest and blood squirted everywhere
During a passion play a friend of my brother was supposedly in, one of the roman soldiers who was supposed to stab jesus on the cross and accidentally grabbed the wrong spear- he was supposed to grab one with a fake tip, but instead he grabbed one with an actual metal tip and, well
Jesus screamed âJESUS CHRIST YOU STABBED MEâ.
Since that Jesus had to be taken down due to a bad case of stab-itis, the backup Jesus came in, but he weighed significantly less than the original Jesus- which would have been fine, except that at the end the cross was supposed to ascend upwards with Jesus on it, and the weights hadnât been adjusted.
So Jesus, instead, ROCKETED UP into heaven (or, just, above the stage).
This is wild from start to finish
I was in Peter Pan once and one night at a performance, the adhesive holding our Hookâs mustache on was wearing off. It was near the end with a big fight scene and when he got attacked, he let his mustache fall and went âYOU RIPPED MY MUSTACHE OFF!â in a scandalized tone and it added a new note of hilarity to the whole scene (which was supposed to be funny anyway)
In my seventh grade play, which was a midsummer nightâs dream, Thisbe didnât have a sword so she stabbed herself with a coathanger
My junior year we were doing Romeo and Juliet and after Juliet poisons herself it was supposed to go dark and sheâd get off the stage. well the light crew accidentally turned them back on and Juliet who was sitting up slammed back down on the wooden bed with a loud bang. To which my theater teacher says into the com âzombie Julietâ and everyone who heard that had to keep as quiet as possible while our eyes were filling with tears.
i attended my countyâs performing arts high school majoring in vocal studies, (mostly geared towards musical theater and opera styles) and once a year we got a field trip to new york (we were in jersey, so itâs not exactly far). we would do one touristy thing, an actorâs workshop with friends of our teachers working in various performing industries in nyc, and then see a show.Â
my first year doing this, our industry contacts were 1 actor, 1 casting director, and 1 producer to get different aspects of the business, and they all gave us amazing advice and told fantastic stories. the actor in question was Zazu on Broadwayâs The Lion King for several years, and told the best story by far.
in The Lion King, there are only two pieces of pre-recorded noise in the whole show. one, when Pumbaa does a MASSIVE fart while fighting the hyenas, and the other being Mufasa saying REMEMBERRRRRR as Simba climbs Pride Rock. the actor told us while struggling not to laugh that, during one nightâs performance, someone forgot to flip the tape of these pre-recorded noises.
so, at the end of the show, the great climax where Simba finally accepts his place in the Circle of Life, the heavens parted and-
PFFFFFFFFFRRRRRBTFTBTBFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
everyone froze. and then all ran off stage positively HOWLING with laughter.
the lesson: sometimes there are fuck ups you just canât recover from.
During a high school production of Beauty and the Beast, where I was assistant costumer and assistant prop master, our director decided that we needed to spice up Gastonâs introduction. You know: in the movie, when Lefou runs in trying to catch the duck/goose that Gaston has just shot out of the sky?
Originally, the actors were going to stroll on stage with our Lefou hauling in the really neat (and real!) taxidermied deer head that we had found in a local thrift store. Now, two days before opening night, our director wants Lefou to run in from off stage and catch a stuffed duck that Gaston has just shot. This, of course, requires two things to work properly as a scene: a gunshot noise, and a stuffed duck.
The gunshot noise, we had covered. Blue-collar, redneck school? Guns a plenty to record. The stuffed duck? Harder than you might have thought to obtain.
Three hunting stores, two taxidermists, and one Pet Supply Store âą, Iâd finally found a semi-realistic pheasant squeaky toy. What follows is an account of the ways this dog toy managed to be the nightmare prop of the six show run.
Opening Night: The stagehand, who was supposed to drop the bird from the ceiling catwalk, missed his cue and didnât drop the it. Lefouâs actor rolls with it and does an excellent job of looking around foolishly before getting cuffed upside the head by Gaston. The stagehand then drops the bird squarely on Gastonâs head. Cue laughter.
Saturday Matinee: Different stagehand throws the bird instead of dropping it and beans Lefou directly in the face with the prop. Lefou falls over. Cue laughter.
Saturday Night: Bird is missing during curtain call. Director hauls the deer head down from itâs place on the tavern wall and tells Gaston and Lefou to revert to the old blocking i.e. no gunshot, no bird, just walk in with trophy. During Gaston and Lefouâs conversation, gun shot sound goes off and a stagehand throws the bird onto the stageâŠfrom the wrong side of the stage. Lefou and Gaston stare at it in awkward silence for a solid thirty seconds before Lefou makes off-script, subtle joke about Gastonâs gun going off late instead of early. Cue adults in the audience laughing.
Sunday Matinee: Director begs the stagehands to get the cue right at least once. Gunshot and bird prop go off without a hitch. Lefou accidentally catches the prop when it falls from the catwalk. Heâs so startled that he caught it that Gaston runs right in to him. They drop both the gun and the bird props, and grab the wrong prop in their scramble. Gaston spends the rest of the scene gesturing dramatically with a stuffed pheasant, instead of a gun.
Sunday Night:Â Director is fed up with bird prop, decides that Lefou should just carry bird prop in after gunshot happens off stage. Lefou accidentally squeezes the prop during the intro conversation, startling both actors into silence with the squeaky toy noise - apparently, neither of them realized it was a dog toy.
Monday Elementary School Show: Lefou walks on stage with the bird. Accidentally drops the prop during conversation with Gaston. Gaston doesnât notice the dropped prop and steps on it. Cue depressingly sad squeaky toy noise. Cue ten years olds laughing.
In a dress rehearsal for Peter Pan, Wendy forgot one of her lines and started singing the star spangled banner and the audience was singing along and people got emotional
Once during the closing night of our high school production of south pacific, we were havin our pre-show pep talk, and our director reminded everyone (mostly seniors) not to go off script to try to be funny. Of course we had one lead who decided to ignore this advice. So during one scene where the sailors were âfishingâ at the edge of the stage, he decides to pull up his rubber fish, make a comment about how it wasnât big enough, and throw it back into the âoceanâ, which of course, was the audience. Now, this probably wouldnât have been too much of a problem if he had gently tossed it, since it would have landed right behind the pit. But naturalt, he decided that this fish had to break free in the most dramatic way possible, so he winds up and chucks this fucking foot-long rubber fish with all of his strength. So now imagine the stage crew, all of us huddled together, silently screaming as this limp fish goes sailing over the heads of the audience in what looks like a low-budget reenactment of free willy, only to slap some poor parent across the face. I swear, you could almost hear the chorus of âmmmm whatcha saaayyyâ rising from all those backstage. From that moment on, all rubber fish were ferociously guarded by yours truly, under the direction of our stage manager.
This post gets better every time it shows up on my dash
In my high school players club, we had this one guy who played all the leads for every play he was cast in (Ren in Footloose, Gaston in Beauty and the Beast, etc) and in every single comedy, WITHOUT FAIL, this bumbling, two-left-foot, drama queen of an actor managed to destroy HALF the set. On the first night. Which meant that the stagehands (me and a rather grumpy Saturday morning bunch) had to repair as much as we could before the next show the next night. My director tried EVERYTHING to keep this from happening, bar actually casting somebody else in the role because this kid was actually a pretty goodâif somewhat destructiveâactor. He padded shit, nailed shit down, got plastic shit, and got his wifeâthe choreographerâto go over movement with the kid. But nothing helped. So we had to deal with a total of eight half-broken sets in a span of four years because this kids arms just flapped all over the place when he acted.
If you are having trouble catching that mouse, then perhaps it is not meant to be. Perhaps try something else? Maybe a cockroach, or a lizard. Mice do not taste that good, regardless. I recommend abandoning pursuit of mice altogether. Meow.
HOT AUTISTIC ADULTS IN YOUR AREA ARE UNSURE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO THEM...CLICK HERE TO ESTABLISH CLEAR INTENT
"you can jack off you can eat grapes all else banned" is kind of the post of the summer because literally wtf else are you supposed to do once itâs 30°C outside
I think her name is Mauve !
its ok theyre Gods lil helpers
And boy are they clumsy
Hi, these bees are babies! Theyâre not clumsy at all, this is what is called orientation flights. After birth and before beginning their careers as foragers (as all Honey bees cycle through all the jobs in the Hive throughout their lifespan), Honey bees take short flights back and forth, to and from the Hive, to orient themselves with their wings and their home so they can learn its location and how to get back home after foraging! Everyone has to learn, these are just smol little baby turkeys. Bees use the angle of the sun for location so adults have a better and more direct sense of location than any human
IM SO PLEASED TO LEARN THIS!!!
They are just!!! Student drivers!!! đ
BONK!
Why is everyone solving Deltarune. Can I solve Deltarune too
I am the knight
Kris will be in chapter 6
Ralsei will be even more transgender
you got it boss
THIS IS AWESOME
a princess maintains her majesty when eating childrenâs cereal in a tanktop and spotted panties
The fascinating thing about the word âniggaâ vis-Ă -vis nonblack ppl that use it and/or want to use it without consequences, is that the majority of them would sooner eat glass than spend one day being considered and/or being treated as a Black person.
If youâre nonblack you can reblog this BUT âđż donât act up
They want our rhythm, but they damn sure don't want our blues.